Chapter 11. Quizzical Cats

In which Tugger and Jake become insufferably snoopy bastards (but in a good way.)

Alicia woke up the next morning bleary eyed, exhausted, still sleepy, and most importantly, naked. It took her a few moments to remember why. When the memory of the black cat and everything else finally came to the surface, she rolled over, her eyes closed, expecting Mistoffelees to still be there. When she rolled onto nothing but cold blankets, she opened her eyes, disappointment and hurt making their way into her heart. Leary got up and stretched behind her as she wrapped her naked body around the pillow where a few black hairs still lingered. Not quite making any coherent thoughts, her mind simply stuck on sadness and a few tears fell from her eyes before she heard the crunch of paper as Leary made his way to his morning trip to the litter box. Still sleep confused and sad, she picked up the note and read it three times before her brain began to work.

Alicia,

I was going to wake you, but you looked so peaceful asleep I just couldn't do it. I don't know how awake you'll be when you get this, but just know that I didn't ditch on you. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I would have stayed, but there are a few things I'd rather not have the tribe knowing, and last night with you is one of them. I'm not ashamed of what happened, but let's just say we're breaking a few rules and leave it at that for now, shall we? I'll explain everything when the right time comes. Besides, would you really want to put up with Tugger if he heard?

I don't know quite what to say about last night. 'Thank you' doesn't cut it and sounds cheap besides. 'I'm sorry' is too unspecific. I suppose all I can say is that I'm glad you cared for me enough to allow me to get so close, when so much hurt was hiding behind your eyes. Feel free to speak with me or not, I'll understand. And even though it's not enough, thank you.

Yours

Q

P.S. I left you a little something in the kitchen. Thought you'd appreciate it.

Alicia smiled as she read the note. It was a bit scatterbrained in the reading, but that was Misto, and she'd never had trouble following his thought process. Slowly, gritting her teeth at the huge pile of homework that lay stacked in the corner that was overdue, she sat up and scooted out of the bed, covering herself with the sheet to ward off the cold. She ran what she wanted to be a steaming hot shower and sat waiting for the hot water to kick on. While she waited, she read the note again. Misto's handwriting was terrible, and had an inflection to it she'd never seen before. She supposed it was because he was a cat, and what use had they for writing, really?

When the hot water whirred out of her shower with a gargling crank of the pipes, Alicia dropped the sheet, smiling momentarily as she noticed the singed edges and the fingertip patterned rips Misto had left there. She let the shower beat all the exhaustion out of her body, the hot water pounding on her shoulders as she washed her hair. She noticed several rather livid love bites on her body as she soaped up, and mentally went over how much concealer she'd need to hide those. Thankfully her underclothes would cover most of them, but there were a few, like the one just under her waist, or the two really close together on her hip, that she'd either have to hide or explain. She felt a tender spot on her neck, and smiled, remembering the things he'd whispered to her, though she hadn't really heard them at the time.

After her shower, she kicked on a space heater and sat in her under things for a few minutes, hiding the bites with the best concealer she had, knowing Wendy would kill her if any of the cheap junk stained her costume. She debated whether or not to get an hour of studying in, realized she'd missed her computer class deadline last night anyway, and shrugged it off, rolling up the bedthings to clean later and roaming to the kitchen for some breakfast and to sate her curiosity.

On the little kitchenette table sat a tiny statue of a cat. Black, of course, though the eyes were green. Under it's paw lay another note in Misto's awful handwriting.

'TOUCH MY NOSE' it read. Alicia looked at the little statue warily before giggling and obeying the note. With a rather impressive Poof! and a squeaked 'presto!' from the cat, the little statue disappeared, and before Alicia sat a plate of her favorite breakfast; a breakfast sundae with all her favorite fruit, including pomegranate and mango bits, and a single Egg Benedict on an English muffin. Across the sundae's glass lay a single rose the same color as Alicia's hair, with one red petal, tied with a black ribbon. As she touched it, gold script appeared on the ribbon. 'Read me after breakfast.'

Alicia played along, giggling like a teenager as she ate her breakfast, which was delicious. She was almost sorry to finish it, but somehow the spell had given her the exact right amount of food, and the taste lingered longer than normal. The sundae glass and saucer disappeared, to be replaced by the tiny cat once more. Impatient, Alicia took the ribbon from the rose carefully, and turned it over, following the flowing magic script with her eyes.

'For the girl who saved a Cat, loved a Cat, and chose to worship a Cat, a small token from the tom too dense to come up with anything better, but whom she cared for anyway.'

Alicia laughed at the words, but gasped as the ribbon grew hot in her hands. After a flash of light, she looked down at her palms. In them lay a solid gold ankh, with a cat sitting relaxed in its eye, the cat's eye a tiny topaz. Tears in her eyes now, Alicia roamed around her house looking for a chain to put it on, when suddenly one appeared around the neck of the tiny cat, also in solid gold. She looped them together and wrapped the chain around her wrist, knowing she couldn't visibly wear it to work.

Hurriedly, she pulled on something that wasn't too dirty (she really, really had to do laundry) and rushed to the door. A little black smudge on her couch caught her attention and before she left she investigated, to find Misto's bowtie undone messily and resting on one of the cushions. She tucked it in a pocket to return later in the day, a small smile still on her face as she remembered to harness up Leary for his first day on set and made her way out the door.

Mistoffelees slunk through the early light of the morning in cat form, dodging around cars and early risers and graveyard shift workers trialing tiredly home. Guilt at leaving Alicia alone in her bed ate at his mind, but he'd always been awkward with morning afters, and his awkwardness was not what she would need after everything that had transpired the night before. He wondered briefly why she trusted him so, but realized that it would probably never really make sense to him, and left the thought alone, leaving his mind to buzz over the rest of the night, and to wrangle with the knot of emotions he wasn't sure he could identify or deal with.

He snuck into Jake's house through the cat door and silently prayed that Jake had stayed in bed late, but when he saw the actor eating breakfast at 6 a.m. he knew both Jake and Shelby had had a long night up with Julia and just opted not to sleep. The four energy shots on the table furthered the evidence. Shelby saw him and picked him up as he slunk into the kitchen. "About time you got home, Mister. You know, Jake, we really should get him neutered. God knows what's going to happen one of these days when he's out tom-catting around." Jake snorted into his coffee, though Shelby of course didn't know why, and Misto was sure he was blushing in cat form, though he knew neither of them could have known just how accurate Shelby was. Mistoffelees wriggled out of the woman's grip and yowled at her, a yowl Jake knew meant 'Oh, Hell NO!' in cat, though it was pretty obvious to anyone who'd ever had any sort of animal.

"I think he said 'no,' Shells."

"Well, I don't really want to, and I was actually looking forward to breeding him. Nothing's cuter than a batch of tux kits, but he's getting older, Jake. He's what, pushing past fifteen, at least? And he isn't the biggest cat in the world either. Heaven knows what he gets up to outside."

Jake and Mistoffelees shared a look at the news that Shelby had wanted to breed him. The 'Don't-laugh,-for-the-love-of-all-that's-holy-DON'T-LAUGH!' look. Misto hopped into Jake's lap and head butted his chin. Jake knew the signal.

"How about a compromise? I'll start taking him into work again, and see if he calms down. How about that?"

"Well, alright. But keep him away from Partridge's cat, for heaven's sake. That beast attacks him every time they see each other. Cat's gay, I swear."

Jake gritted though a laugh and nodded. "I'll see what I can do"

Mistoffelees and Jake got to the theatre late thanks to traffic, and thanks to that, Jake got shrieked at for a good five minutes by the camera guys and Misto missed Alicia arriving and getting ready and kept missing her for the next three hours. He resigned himself to waiting, and that's where trouble found him.

The Rum Tum Tugger wandered around backstage, bored and wanting someone to talk to since Bomba had gone back to her place to watch after Celly for the day. He found the perfect target to annoy lounging on a piece of the Growltiger set.

Mistoffelees lay on a banister of the pirate ship, his left arm and leg dangling off the side lazily and his tail flickering idly. Two halves of his brain were going at once and warring with each other; one side going over the previous night's events, feverishly wondering if Alicia was really okay, if she was still upset, or if he really had hurt her, while the other side replayed everything languorously, focusing only on the wonderful parts, and the parts where he had been able to help. The black and white tom was broken from his reverie by a heavy THUMP!

"My, my, someone's certainly in a good mood this morning."

Mistoffelees opened one eye lazily and grinned. "Mmm…just a nice day is all."

"Yeah, whatever. Come on, what's up with my little brother? Why so…languid?" Tugger asked, drawling 'languid' out suggestively as he smirked, knowing that relaxed demeanor a little too well. Mistoffelees opened his other eye and shook his head. "No reason-it's just a nice day." Tugger was about to make a snide comment about the foot and a half of snow outside, but raised a brow instead when he noticed something missing when Mistoffelees shifted his weight.

Tugger burst out laughing, a satisfied smile settling on his face when he calmed down. He gave his little brother a smutty smirk and chuckled, "I know what it is. Somebody got lucky last night!"

"No I didn't," Misto denied, ignoring his brother's annoying singsong.

Tugger's grin widened. "Yes you did."

"No, I didn't" the tux muttered flatly.

"Yes you did." bullied the Maine Coon, thoroughly enjoying their mutual descent into kittenhood.

"No. I didn't" Misto sighed.

"Did." Tugger laughed.

"No. I. Did. Not." The last word came out in a growl. Tugger's grin threatened to split his face as he leaned in uncomfortably close to Mistoffelees and flicked his nose flirtatiously.

"Did. Quit lying."

"I'm not lying." Mistoffelees choked out through his frustration and a blush. Tugger unfortunately knew how to push his buttons.

The Maine Coon sat back and sighed in a set upon fashion. "Yes, you are. Do you want to know how I know?" Mistoffelees found a large hand over his mouth before he could protest. Tugger's other hand was held up in his line of vision, counting up as Tugger compiled the evidence.

"One: you're denying it far too much. Two: you are never this languid unless you've been up to something the night before. And three? Your bowtie's missing."

Mistoffelees felt the blood drain from his face, and instinctively reached up to feel for the silly little bow-collar he always wore. He felt nothing but fur at his neck. Tugger cackled at his reaction and clapped him on the back.

"Oh, come now, don't be so shy about it! How long has it been for you? Who'd you hook up with? You and Shocksy get back together?"

"No, and you know Electra hates that nickname. Come on, Tugs, can't a tom have a bit of privacy?"

"Not unless you suddenly turn into Munkustrap and get Demeter to kick my ass. Come on, Misto, tell me. Who's the lucky girl?"

Misto seethed under his brother's innocent prying. It was his own fault he was being interrogated, but he could not tell Tugger who he'd spent the night with. For everyone's safety.

"Shut up, Tugger," was the only response he could think of as the rest of his mind panicked.

Tugger blinked at the rudeness. "The lucky boy?" He quested, knowing well enough that Mistoffelees had a Bi streak in him.

"Shut up, Tugger." his brother growled, hunching angrily. Tugger wrapped an arm around the tux and coaxed gently. "Come on, brother, just tell me. I'm not going to disown you for it, and I refuse to let up. Who got to rumble in the sheets with the magician last night?"

"SHUT UP, Tugger!" Mistoffelees hissed, rounding on the other tom.

"Hiya, boys! Hi Tugger, hi Misto!" came a third voice, cutting in just as Mistoffelees prepared to hex his brother mute. The tux tom blanched when he turned to see Alicia coming towards them in her Electra costume. The arm warmer kept falling over her hand, and she adjusted it, a tiny glint of gold catching both toms' eyes. She plopped down between them, glowing with exercise and smelling of sweat and soap, taking a water bottle from the tail belt and drinking deeply. Tugger went to snatch the bottle and Alicia gave him a playful shove. Misto gritted his teeth before inconspicuously sneezing. Alicia turned to him and smiled ambiguously. "Oh, Misto, you left this at my place. Leary must have swiped it when he was on your shoulders. Thanks again for checking on him for me." Mistoffelees numbly accepted the little bundle of black silk she handed him, his face on fire. "What?" Alicia asked, quirking her head to the side the exact same way she had the night before. Mistoffelees blinked, saying a second too late, "Oh…nothing…I-I just hadn't realized I'd lost it. Thank you."

Alicia gave him a curious look, didn't see the eyebrows that were about to disappear into Tugger's hairline, and waved goodbye as Jillian called her back from the drink break. "Well, okay-Oh! Gotta, go! See ya! Look after Leary for me; thanks!"

Once the blond was back into the dance number and couldn't hear them, Tugger turned to Misto, his eyes wide and his eyebrows still in danger of disappearing.

"Alicia? You slept with Alicia?" the maned tom sputtered, genuinely surprised.

"Shut. Up. Tugger." Mistoffelees groaned though gritted teeth as he held his head in his hands. Tugger threw him a quizzical look that he didn't see.

"Why? Was it that bad?"

"Wha-? No!" Misto shot up, his mouth going before his brain.

"Bad for her?" Tugger asked, an annoyingly understanding look on his face. Even the best had off days, which was exactly the last thing on Mistoffelees's mind as words fell out of his mouth before he thought again.

"No!"

"Bad for you?" the understanding turned to sympathy.

"No!" Misto squawked before his brain finally kicked in and he gave up resisting what he knew from experience would be a rigorous interrogation if he didn't give in.

"No, Tugger. To be honest, last night was perfectly wonderful. And I can never talk or think about it again."

Tugger gave his brother a strange glance. Self-defeating as the little tux often was, it had been perfectly clear in Alicia's demeanor that he hadn't hurt her or irrevocably screwed up his chances at a second time, so why he was denying to even acknowledge what sounded like a good thing was beyond the older tom. When Tugger saw the mixed look of utter heartbreak and fury on his younger sibling's face, he grew even more confused. He'd seen that look and ones like it before, and he could feel the charge of nervous magic in the air. For Misto's own sake, never mind his curiosity, Tugger asked the one question he knew his brother didn't want to hear or answer.

"Why?"

Mistoffelees' head returned to his hands, and he sighed shakily. He'd known Tugger wouldn't get it, wouldn't remember. Slowly, the smaller tom spoke, careful and quiet so none could listen in.

"It-it's the laws, Tugger, the laws of the tribe! 'No Jellicle shall take a human mate, under pain of banishment, regression, or death.' I'm pretty sure that pertains to just sleeping with them too." Mistoffelees felt his stomach clench at those words, but the deep bark of laughter form beside him made no sense.

"Is that all?" Tugger cackled, giving Misto an incredulous look as he continued. "Misto, don't worry about it! Those laws are older than-older than Dad! And Bast knows how bloody old he is! A lot has changed for us in the last few years. Hell, Misto, the whole tribe broke the big one, the secrecy. The entire cast of the musical 'CATS' knows about us, not to mention the film crew and the understudies whose memories you didn't wipe from last time! And if that weren't enough, Dad broke it before that by spilling the beans and letting Sir Eliot know and write the bloody poems in the first place!"

"But that can be forgotten!" Mistoffelees hissed. "You already mentioned the memory wiping, but Tugger, I can't do that to Jellicles. I physically can't, and taking on a human mate or lover is something that can't be ignored! It's the one rule that can't be broken, especially by me!"

"Why?" Tugger insisted. He was sure he knew the answer, somewhere in his head, but he couldn't quite remember and wanted to make sure that his brother wasn't just trying to weasel out of a good thing. Mistoffelees looked at him desperately, his mis-matched eyes wide and wavering with the sting of tears.

"I'm his heir!" the tux cat gritted through his teeth. "I have to take over when Old Deuteronomy dies, or, at least I do until he has another son with magic or Macavity gets his brains back, which, judging by the way things are going, isn't going to happen anytime soon! And Dad hasn't had any sons in a while, and it's unlikely he'll have another son with magic, the fact that he had two is amazing! Tugger…unless any of that happens, I'm stuck. I'm stuck leading the tribe when he dies, and I have to follow the laws more closely that anyone!"

Tugger blinked. He was so used to Old Deuteronomy and Munkustrap leading the tribe that he often forgot the duty of Jellicle leader would not go to his older brother, but to the younger, still timid tux beside him. Cautiously, Tugger wrapped an arm around Mistoffelees' shoulders and whispered "Well-brother, laws are meant to be broken; maybe this time can be an exception. She gets along with most of the tribe better than I do!"

"That's because she isn't trying to get into just about all of their pants, so to speak." Mistoffelees muttered morosely. Tugger couldn't resist-he hated when things got too serious. "No-just yours, apparently," the bigger cat snickered before turning serious again. "Misto, listen…It's not like-like you're the first one to break that law either, anyways." He paused and rubbed his neck awkwardly here, "I mean, I slept with Rosemarie. Of course, we were both rebounding and completely plastered at the time, but that's no excuse for me to use to say I didn't know what I was doing. I knew she was human, and they didn't skin me."

"No, but you're the Brat Prince, aren't you? You can get away with it-you know you were one of the few that Dad could ever get away with spoiling or favoriting-me…I…" Mistoffelees trailed off as Munkustrap passed, giving his two younger brothers a cursory, none-to-pleased glance as he did. Mistoffelees hunkered over himself, his arms cradling his stomach, which suddenly found itself twisting in knots. Tugger squeezed his shoulder once Munkustrap was out of hearing distance.

"I…I don't know what to do. I've never felt like this-not even for you when you and I were-you know. I don't know how to explain it. I was so scared for her afterwards, Tugger. Everlasting Cat! I spent half the night last night sitting up after she'd gone to sleep, thinking of all the things that could happen to her now if we were found out! It took me all of five minutes to think about what could happen to me-but her…you know how cats are, and even if the whole tribe manages to magically accept her, think of how the humans would react! You know how intolerant they are! Or if Macavity found out…Bast, she'd never survive him, you know that, and you know he'd use her to get to me, you know he would! Tugger, I just don't know what's going on with me. I know this is a mistake, that I should just wipe her memory and go on, but I just can't. I just don't know what to do anymore."

Tugger sat back and took the confession in, knowing somewhere in his life he'd heard something like it before. When the memory clicked, he grinned, and returned to his interrogation.

"You're scared for her?" he asked, determined to find out just how strong his brother's feelings were on the matter.

"Yes! And I'm scared in general-I-I've never felt this way for anyone before, I told you. I don't know…if something happened to her because of me, because of this, I'd probably kill myself."

Tugger let out an involuntary hiss at the threat, seeing the melancholy truth behind it, knowing his brother did not say such things lightly. A warm patch of pride swelled incongruously in his chest as he replaced his arm on Mistoffelees' shoulders. He should have seen it, he inwardly berated himself. Tugger grinned, and muttered "You love her, little brother. You're in love!"

Far from calming the tux, the statement drove him to panic. Mistoffelees tried to extricate himself from Tugger's arm as he shook his head. That could not be true. It simply could not be, it was too dangerous for the both of them. "What, NO! I can't be! I can't-the law-I can't!"

Tugger groaned, despairing over how little confidence his brother had in himself. "Says who? Quaxo, look, I've already broken that law, so if they do something to you, they do it to me to, and we both know that isn't going to happen. I'm the favorite, and you're the heir. They can't kick you out or really do anything to you as long as you keep that position. So we fooled around with a couple of human girls, so what?"

"But you just slept with Rosemarie, you didn't…fall in love with her. That's different. Tugger, what am I going to do?"

"You love her, right?" Mistoffelees gave him that desperate look again, tears threatening to spill from his mismatched eyes "I can't. She's human, I'm a cat. I can't, Tugger."

"But you do?"

Mistoffelees sighed before giving in and admitting what he should have realized that morning when he'd woken up with Alicia on top of him, her blond hair splayed out prettily over his chest, fingers tangling in his fur.

"Yes. But-but why?"

"Love's weird," Tugger shrugged. "We both know that. You don't pick it-it falls in your lap and there's nothing you can do about it."

"But I have to do something. What am I going to do?"

"You love her?" Tugger insisted, knowing if he kept pressing, Misto would find the answer out on his own.

"Y-yes."

"Does she feel the same way?"

"I'm not sure-I think she might, in time."

"Well, then, if she does now, or if she comes to it, that's all you need!" Tugger smirked, batting away the emotion rent air with his signature cockiness. "if things get crazy, just run with it, go with it. And if anything bad happens, or if this gets out of control, run with her, keep her safe, and me and Munkustrap'll handle the rest."

At the mention of Munkustrap, Mistoffelees' eyes grew wide again. This couldn't go any further, and Mistoffelees remembered better than Tugger precisely how closely Munkustrap held to the laws of the tribe.

"NO! you can't tell anyone, not even Munkustrap." the black cat hissed, panic lacing his voice. Tugger nodded, though he wondered why Mistoffelees didn't feel like informing their brother. "Alright," he said as he pulled Mistoffelees into an embrace. "I won't tell anyone, not even Munkus, okay? Just…just know that I'm happy for you. It's about time you fell for someone."

Glad that his secret would stay that way for a while longer until he could figure out what to do, Mistoffelees thanked Tugger for listening to him, and buried his face into Tugger's mane, a ply for comfort he hadn't taken since his kittenhood. The black cat wasn't sure if it was his brother's confidence rubbing off on him, or his own mind settling down from the roller-coaster panic and accepting his feelings, but a feeling of wellbeing was spreading through his chest. His mind played through the last twelve hours in rapid succession, and he focused on one thing-he had to speak with Alicia.

It was lunchtime for the actors, and as Cici shook the strain out of her muscles, she grinned. She'd done exceptionally well in all her routines today, and was quite pleased with herself. In her free moments, she mused over the previous night. She had a hard time not blushing when she looked at Jake in his costume, and couldn't look at the actual Mistoffelees without her face lighting on fire. It didn't help that half the time when she sat down, she was reminded of the night before, the wonderful bruised feeling making her legs tense and a shiver run up her spine. The mating dance scene with Jake had been particularly awkward, because they were choreographed together. She had looked everywhere but his eyes as they lay down in the Jellicle tangle, laying still with their legs twined in a way so that Jake could jump up easily. She'd never cursed Andrew so much as right then; he was going in for a load of camera angles, and milking his actors' discomfort for all it was worth. It didn't help that Karl was busy cracking inappropriate jokes quietly and griping about his breakfast burrito's effects on his stomach.

At the call for break, Alicia ran to find her cat, whom she found palling around with Cassandra and Tumblebrutus, both of whom were in cat form. She smiled at the two true Jellicles and strapped Leary into his kitty harness and leash and prepared to take him out with her. Jacob snagged her and the two dragged themselves to a nearby Wendy's for lunch, Leary in tow. Alicia flushed at the people staring at them because they were still in their Mistoffelees and Electra outfits. She followed Jake's example and just smiled and waved at them, laughing with pride when people recognized her rather insignificant character in the play.

Jacob grinned privately to himself, remembering how the last filming had been, with Andrew freaking out and having them wrap themselves up in trench coats to go out to keep from getting mauled on the streets of London. He watched as Alicia danced around on the sidewalk, twirling and twining her feet around that monstrously huge cat of hers, trying to keep off the New York December cold. Alicia had been lighthearted and carefree all day, more so than Jake had ever seen her. Not getting upset when she mis-stepped (which she had done less than usual as well,) and not rising when Bryn antagonized her. She'd actually been nice to the tall bastard. As he watched her, smiling enormously as she let a little Chinese boy and his mother pet respectively Leary and herself, he knew something was up, something positive, and when he tried to put his finger on it, he had a pretty good guess at what that something was. A certain tuxedoed tom had been drawing the understudy's eyes all day, she couldn't look at Jake himself without a slight flush, and even minute, accidental passing contact with the cat made her shiver.

Jacob ordered and took his food, regretting that he was a junk food junkie as he glared at the extra-large chocolate shake on his tray. He had to choke back a laugh as Alicia explained (meaning, lied through her teeth) with a completely straight face, that Leary was her therapy cat, producing a very official looking card to prove it. Jake might have believed her if he hadn't seen her, John, Jojo, and Fergus laboring over making the thing the week before. The ridiculousness of the whole thing, an actor in CATS, needing a therapy cat, and explaining all of this to the poor kid behind the counter at Wendy's while in full CATS costume, finally got to Jake, and his sides were aching when Alicia made her way up to the table, tray in one hand and cat hanging like a full sack of potatoes in the other as she nuzzled the beast. As she sat down, Jake noticed a strange slink in her movements that he'd never seen before. The gentle flush appeared again as she glanced at his face, and suddenly everything clicked into place in his head with a solid Snap!

A grin spread over the face-painted lips, and Jake took a nonchalant sip of his shake before asking, almost as if to inquire about the weather, "So, you and Mistoffelees, hmm?" Alicia jumped as if stung, her eyes flying wide and her face blanching white under the face paint. Her breath hitched midway to her lungs, and her eyes darted about, looking for escape. Jacob recognized the panic of fear, and the imminent threat of her bolting, and speedily continued, grabbing her hand to steady her. "Alicia, listen! I'm not judging you. To be honest, I'm not exactly surprised. The two of you get along so well, and you're the person dedicated to this whole mess the most, even if you're new and just really an understudy… Alicia-You're the closest of all of us to the Jellicles, and you've only known about them for a few months. You get so involved in their lives, care so deeply for them, for all of them…I'm not even as close as you are, and I've had one living with me for the past thirteen years!"

Cici listened, tears of relief and confusion in her eyes, wounds brought up the night before still raw in her mind. Doubt made it's way to her thoughts, however, and her tiny smile flagged.

"You aren't…you're not disgusted?" she asked in disbelief, stammering as she hunched over Leary, her arms wrapped securely around her furry, purring shield. Jacob laughed kindly

"Disgusted? Why would I be?"

Alicia blinked, thinking the answer obvious "Misto-Mistoffelees is a Jellicle. A cat. He's not…Human." To her surprise, Jake smiled. Patting her hand he leaned forward and reassured her. "Cici, you're my friend, and Misto's been my friend for years. Two of my closest friends have hooked up and seem fairly happy about it." Jake paused at her incredulous look, glanced around to make sure people weren't evesdropping, and continued. "And look, as far as the human thing goes? I'm Bi, Sleepyhead, I've seen how 'human' humans can be. Trust me, Mistoffelees is more human than half the people in this city, so the fact that he's a bit fuzzier than most of them isn't about to bother me-or anyone who's spent any time around the Jellicles."

"So-you aren't-it's not weird that I-I mean…" Alicia blushed.

"Hon, half the girls had a crush on the real Tugger, and well, you've seen the fan fictions, all those silly Original Character stories… It's not so strange, being attracted to a cat. It'll take some getting used to, just 'cause we haven't seen it, but it's no big deal. I think Rosemarie and that maned idiot hooked up once. Bombalurina was on the outs with Tugger or something…anyway.

"Besides," Jake grinned mischievously, "I'm the last person in the world who can judge you. I'm gay, or was, but I got married-to a woman!-and have a kid! How can I judge you for genus when you don't judge me for gender?"

"You understand?"

"Yes."

"And you still want to hang around with me, even though I-you know?"

"Put the cat in the bag, shall we say? Honey, it's no more an issue to me than if you'd slept with Karl…though he may have something to say about it-he's been crushing on you since the word go."

"I'm just so confused, Jake." Alicia muttered, stuffing the last few fries of her lunch down her throat before continuing. She swallowed too big a bite and choked before finishing her jumbled thoughts. "I mean, not that being with Misto wasn't wonderful-it was. It was fantastic, but why-why couldn't I have that with a human? Why have all the men in my life been shit, but a tom from a species that shouldn't even exist makes me feel, I don't know, like I matter, like I'm worth something?"

Jake sighed, the dregs of his shake rattling wetly as he stalled, looking for an answer. "I can't tell you that, Cici. But does it matter, though-that he's a Jellicle? To you, does it really matter?"

"No. That's the shit of it. Last night…nothing mattered except that Mistoffelees was Mistoffelees. I knew I shouldn't have, but I just didn't care."

Jake stole a drink of Alicia's soda and looked at the girl. The flesh-bleaching fear had left her face, to be replaced by a gentle blush. She almost glowed, even if the undercurrent of worry still seethed beneath the surface. That sort of glow was rare, after only a couple months acquaintance and one session of sex, but Jake recognized it instantly. He took both her hands in his, giving her a gentle smile.

"Do you love him?"

"What?" Alicia squawked at the unexpected question.

"Do you love Mistoffelees?" Jake repeated, squeezing her hands. Alicia's eyes swam, and she stuttered as she looked away.

"I-I…" her voice disappeared to nothing. Leary chose that moment to make a loud, disgruntled yowl and hop on her shoulders, cuffing her face with his tail, and biting at her neck like he had the tux tom's in his attempts to steal the bow-tie. Alicia smiled, wrangling the beast off her back.

"My cat knows me better than I do. Yes, I do-or, I'm starting to, at least. I'm not sure. I've never been in love before."

Ignoring the sadness of that statement for the good of both of them, Jake nodded and cracked a huge grin. "Well then, just be happy about it and stop worrying so damn much! Everything else will sort out later. Besides, I'm living proof you can't help who you fall in love with, so at least you've got me in your corner if things get crazy."

Alicia smiled demurely and nodded. "Thanks. Um, Jake? Was I…was I being that obvious?"

"Not really, but I'm the only one who knew Misto didn't come home last night and where he went, so I might have been watching more."

"Um, Jake? I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else. Misto left this note, said something about the tribe couldn't find out, so…"

"Not a problem. Remember-Gay (well, Bi…) I know how to keep a secret when I need to."

"Thank you."

The two sat in a companionable state of mindless chatter for the rest of the lunch hour before heading back to the theatre, braving the wind huddled together, Leary walking beside them on his leash. Jake leaned in, guarding Alicia from the wind a bit more, unable to contain himself any longer. He just had to ask.

"Just out of curiosity, what was I missing all those years when I was still completely gay?"

Alicia's face turned red, but after a bit of joshing, she used her hands to indicate the size of the tom in question. The black eyebrows almost disappeared into Jake's wig.

"Damn! Really?"

"Mmhmm."

"Ah. Pity I'm straight at the moment. Oh well. I feel the sudden need for my character to be a bit more…cocky." Jacob joked, snickering at the scrunched up grossed out face Cici was sporting.

"Don't be gross, you sound like John."

"Then it's working already!"

"Grrr!" Cici growled, grinning. Jake gave her a look

"Trick Misto taught you?"

Cici hissed at him silently and swatted at the back of his head playfully, happy she had someone she could count on. They barely made it back to their places for the 'Jellicle Songs' set when Gillian blew her whistle.

An Awkward Conclusion

If any of the Jellicles noticed that their resident magician was out of sorts, none of them troubled themselves to say anything about it. Mistoffelees suffered through the rest of the day, flickering in and out of the theatre on whatever asinine little chores he could think of, even going so far as to finally clean out his half abandoned den and escorting Rumpelteazer to Alicia's apartment building when the queen in question took Leary home. Rumpelteazer herself had to bite her tongue; she didn't need escorting, and was too much of a tomboy to be flattered.

But even all the minutia of the day couldn't keep him away from what he knew he had to face sooner or later. The tux couldn't miss the significant glances and nods Tugger was shooting across the set, nor could he miss the dusting blush on Alicia's face whenever they caught sight of each other. A swift pang of jealousy so strong it worried him crashed through his stomach every time he saw her dancing closely with one of the cast. Mistoffelees shook his head worriedly. He had to get his emotions under control, one way or another-running wild, they were dangerous, and wild was precisely where they kept heading.

Mistoffelees used every calming technique he'd ever learned as he approached Cici between sets. Alicia hadn't noticed him tailing Rumpelteazer when she took the cat home, so he had a plausible reason for asking what he was about to. He knew she wouldn't believe that, but he had to say something, just in case anyone was listening in. Cici stood backstage, cooling off with a bottle of water, when Bryn short cut the cat. The tall actor tapped on Cici's shoulder to get her attention, a consternated look on his face.

"Connors," he said, making her jump, "you-you're doing well. Keep it up."

"Umm…wow…thank you Bryn." Alicia said, confused. Walters stalked away, and she sat down to retie her shoes. Mistoffelees shook off the unpleasant jolt that came with Bryn's name on Alicia's lips and walked over to her. Plunging in, the black cat choked out, "Alicia, listen, I, um…I'm not entirely satisfied with what I said about Leary's health yesterday. I noticed him acting a bit lethargic today, and I'm worried that I missed something that may be wrong with him. Would it be alright for me to come back over and check on y-him?"

"Well, sure, Misto." Alicia said, her voice chipper and unreadable. "I'll drive us again. Damn snow."

Their eyes met, and both blushed before laughing uncomfortably. Cici ended the awkwardness by bolting off as Gillian and Andrew called for the cast. Mistoffelees was left standing, confusion running around madly in his brain.

The drive to Alicia's apartment was silent, and Mistoffelees felt his earlier confidence slipping away as uncertainty made it's icy way into his brain, slicing through the warm, cherry incense infused air of the van. Alicia said nothing, only watching the road, a tiny smile on her lips. Mistoffelees agonized internally. Was she laughing at him and his forward behavior, however circumvent it had been? Was she covering up some cold distrust after revealing what she had to him the previous night? His confidence slipped further from his grasped.

As they clambered their way up the fire escape, Mistoffelees did not offer her his arm in support. He was certain she didn't want him too. The things he meant to say to her were running over and over in his head, trying to sort themselves out into order. Once inside, after shaking the snow from her shoulders and discarding her boots, Alicia stood before Mistoffelees, waiting and silent. Whatever he had been meaning to say, all of his carefully planed comments to assure her that everything was alright, or to sweep her off her feet, all of them flew out of his mind, and the black cat found himself apologizing to her to her instead, his hand clamped firmly around hers. Every singly thing he'd perceived as wrong amplified in his mind a hundred times over, and he only hoped she could forgive him.

"Alicia, I…I am so sorry. What I did…I was wrong. I practically forced myself on you last night-I didn't once think-I just shoved and bullied you into it and-I mean I-I understand it if you hate me. I just-I wanted it to happen, I wanted you so much. I didn't want or mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry for…" He couldn't look at her, couldn't face what he perceived he'd done. Alicia forced him to do just that as her hand cupped his cheek. She was smiling at him.

"Shut up, Misto…What happened last night, I wanted it to happen just as badly as you did." She began, her eyes locking to his resolutely. "You didn't force anything on me. I wanted you. You didn't hurt me, and I couldn't hate you if I tried."

"But what about-you cried-you…" Mistoffelees stuttered lamely, beginning to realize he was doing exactly what Tugger warned him about, letting his doubt gnaw at him and defeating himself. Alicia smiled at him sadly. She wondered if he regretted it that much, but she didn't let that stop her from saying the little speech she'd been writing in her head ever since lunch.

"Last night was amazing, Misto, and I decided that I'm not gonna let that other crap effect me-effect this and whatever it turns into." Her hands dropped into his and entwined their fingers. "Mistoffelees, I care about you. I feel safe around you, and I know you'd never knowingly hurt me. I know you wouldn't use me or take advantage of me, so I'm not going to let those things, those things that made me cry, poison this. That has nothing to do with Us, and even if Us ends right here, it's still too good a thing to taint with that." Mistoffelees stood there, reeling a bit and running 'I care about you' in a loop in his mind. Alicia squeezed his hands when he didn't respond right away.

"Misto-I'm gonna be happy about this, and I'm not going to let my father's sickness fuck it up."

"So it was just those awful memories? I didn't hurt you?" The tux asked, his eyes pleading, needing to be sure. Alicia beamed at him before her smile faltered.

"No. And you never will. I hope."

"You hope?" Misto asked, more confused now than anything.

"Mistoffelees, if I told you something-something serious about this…would it scare you off?"

"I-no, Cici-nothing about this short of me hurting you somehow could ever scare me off."

"Good." Alicia said. She dropped his hands and looked at the floor, her face red and her voice catching. A quick shot of panic stung Mistoffelees before her word completed themselves. "That's good because-because…I think that I…I love you, Mistoffelees."

The black cat's heart flooded with warmth, his head swimming at her words. A gigantic grin split his face and his last bit of nervousness disappeared. He threw his arms around Alicia, kissing her soundly and sweeping her around in a huge circle before placing her back on her feet and taking her hands back into his. He leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Well, there's nothing scary about that. I love you too."

Mistoffelees found himself on the floor the next instant, pinned under Alicia after she'd flung herself into his arms, her shriek of delight stopped only by the fact that her tongue was now snaking its way down his throat. He chuckled and purred in the same breath, holding to her as tightly as he could, and thought only 'screw the tribe,' before too much blood flowed away from his brain. The lights of the apartment flickered and sizzed off, and the two were bathed in a moonlight washed blue darkness. To enthralled with removing clothes and mapping out still unfamiliar flesh, they never made it to the bed.