AN: Sorry about the long wait, Christmas was crazy! Sorry for any mistakes, this chapter was not edited. Thank you for all the reviews, especailly byrhthelm, Semaphore, rlrct, VisualIDentificationZeta, Michi uk, and jpstar57. Enjoy!
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It smelled of disinfectant and sickness. She was in hospital. Harm hadn't left her side since they had been reunited. Meg was ever so grateful. Harm had assured her that Peterson was dead. The SWAT team had taken him out. Meg was shocked to realise that Peterson had done this before. But she smiled a little and asked the appropriate questions before the ambulance rushed her off to hospital.
The hospital was keeping her overnight, they wanted to make sure she was hydrated enough before they sent her home. Meg felt awkward. She was constantly being watched by doctors, people treated her like she was going to break down. It angered her. Even Harm was hovering, he treated her like she was made of glass. She just wanted to be in her own shower and then snuggle under her own cover. Relax in the warmth of her familiar bed. Open her eyes and see the familiar items in her room. She just wanted to be home. Instead she had to deal with starched sheets and an uncomfortable hospital gown. Her IV itched and the walls were made of glass, she had no privacy. She was like a fish in a bowl.
But Harm had apologized profusely when he told her she couldn't go home and when she slyly suggested he break her out of the hospital he had gone all responsible on her. And acted like a sap. Something about letting the doctors do this so that he could be 100% sure she was ok. But she wasn't ok. She wasn't even fine. Inside she was a mess. Yeah sure Harm had told her Verity, sorry Peterson, was dead, but she didn't believe it. Her mind played tricks on her. She saw Peterson everywhere, in everyone. A nurse getting too close, or her doctor putting his hand on her arm to comfort her would cause her to flinch back as if she was about to be hit. It made Harm even more protective of her than he already was. She tried to make light of the situation and played down her fears and reactions to the people around her. It wasn't like she was blocking Harm out, she would open up to him, and there were just too many people around. She had to be strong now.
She also felt an irrational fear that these walls were going to close in on her like her cell. In fact all she had to do was close her eyes and she was back in that cell. Meg dreaded the nurses coming into her room and giving her pain meds. She would be forced into dreaming she was back in that cell with a gun to her head, and she couldn't wake up. She would be trapped. The thought terrified Meg, causing her to be very nervous every time a nurse walked by. When they came to give her pain medication she had caused a big fuss.
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"No." Meg crossed her arms.
Harm shifted in the corner. "Ma'am, it will help you with the pain. You'll go to sleep and not feel a thing. It's the best thing for you now, to sleep. It will be ok." The nurse stepped forward with the needle. Her shoes squeaked on the clean floor. Kindly she put her other hand reassuringly on Meg's arm.
Meg flinched. The nurse stepped back. The room became stuffy. Why were they looking at her like that? She wasn't going crazy. "NO." Meg said firmer this time. Harm moved unsubtly closer.
The nurse sighed in frustration. "Ma'am are you sure? You really need to sleep. You don't have to worry about it hurting, the needle is inserted into your IV. It is up to you, but this medication is recommended by your doctor." The nurse reached out to touch her, then drew her hand back quickly.
"Yes, I am sure. No medication." Meg arms drew tighter around herself. She tried to hold her fear inside. Why couldn't the nurse just listen to her? She wanted to be alone now.
The nurse looked unsure. "Well it's up to you. Call me if you change your mind." She put the needle away, then turned and walked out of the room, glancing over her shoulder as she went.
Watching her talking to the other nursed and pointing at her room, Meg shivered. "She is telling them how crazy I am." It was a statement. Both Harm and she knew what was going on.
Harm came forward and gently sat down on her bed. Meg drew her knees up to her chest. Her chin rested on her knees. "No they're not." Harm said to her. Meg looked at him sceptically.
"Really Harm? The pointing and miming trying to give a patient a needle is just a coincidence? Res ipsa loquitur. Harm, their actions speak for themselves. Either you're being nice or you are going crazy along with me sir."
Harm ducked his head, "Since we have no evidence with which to prove either claim shall we drop this conversation?" Meg glared at him in response. "I'll take that as a yes." He hid his smile. She was acting more like Meg again. This was the most she had said since she was brought in, and while it wasn't much, it was something. Harm knew that Meg would be different after her captivity. But nothing prepared his for the small scared childlike Meg that was sitting on the stretcher. He had felt so protective, she had looked so scared. She looked so unsure now in the hospital bed. He almost reached out, but then he remembered how she had reacted when the nurse had tried to comfort her, and decided against it.
Meg sniffed. Damn it, why was she feeling emotional? She felt so silly for the way that she had dealt with the nurse and she knew Harm must have his suspicions. She didn't want to sleep, Meg didn't want to be at her captors mercy again. She was supposed to feel safe once it was all over. Why then did she feel so vulnerable, so defenceless? Peterson was dead. Meg knew that logically. Meg felt tears threaten, her world was so unstable at the moment. Police wandered past her room, curiously glancing in, a sign she might not be safe yet. The man who had taken her statement leant against a desk talking to another guy in a NCIS cap. She wanted to be home, she wanted it all to go away, Meg wanted to be normal again. Because right now she was a mess.
Meg was being quiet for too long Harm realized. Glancing up he caught the tears dancing in her eyes in the bright hospital light. Meg was staring forward into nothing, a blank look, it scared Harm. "Meg?" She turned to stare at him, her eyes were conflicted. Her lip trembled slightly. "Hey, what's wrong?" Forgetting about what happened with the nurse Harm put his hand on Meg's shoulder. She leaned slightly into him. A tear trickled down her face.
"I want to go home." Meg's voice wavered. Harm leaned forward, unsure of whether she would refuse his comfort or not. "Please Harm?" She sounded so young. He hugged her. It was all he that he could do. She let him.
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Her face went slightly red thinking about it. Breaking down in front of Harm was embarrassing, he was so damn nice about it, that was the problem. Meg wondered how long she could avoid sleeping before her body forced her to. Harm himself had long ago collapsed in a chair inside her room, his long legs sprawling everywhere, his flight uniform crumpled. He must have worked in it for days, not stopping at his apartment to change. He must be so tired. So was she but she wasn't going to sleep. Her thoughts drifted, and her eyes grew heavy. Sleep came.
