A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you again for all of the reviews, I'm really glad you've enjoyed this story. However, I'm going to be putting College Break on an indefinite hiatus because I honestly don't know what to do with the plot. I know I said there'd be one more chapter, but I honestly don't like what I had in mind for it, so I'd rather put it on pause until I want to come back to it. I'm sorry! But it's been a fun ride. I'm working on a new story, Captive. It's totally different than this one and Duplicity, but if you're looking for something wild and crazy, definitely check it out!
Also, I'd already written this 5x05 flashback scene below, so I figured I'd go ahead and post it for you all, since I'm not sure where to work it in now. Thanks for sticking with me on this story!
Flashback.
Emily.
We were both in bed, she'd asked me to stay over. Having her so near, but far, was excruciating. I repeatedly thought of the space between us in the bed. How many inches apart were we? How many centimeters? Millimeters? What slight movement would it take to touch her, to kiss her?
But I couldn't bring myself to bridge the gap. It seemed so vast yet so small. I didn't know what it would mean, what it would change. So, I was stuck. Wide awake but paralyzed. I'd spent so many years wishing that she was alive, that she'd be back, but now that I finally had her… I had no idea what to do. Especially with what she'd said.
Those kisses weren't just for practice.
Earlier, I'd tried to ignore it. I'd tried to tell myself it didn't change anything. But now in the confines of the darkness, a different narrative played out. I allowed myself to admit how badly I'd wanted to hear her say that. I'd wished for it, dreamed for it. After Maya, Paige, I'd thought I was over it. Over her. But I couldn't deny it. That determined, undying hope, the one I'd watered and nourished, eager for it to blossom into the words she spoke, that Ali loved me in the way that I loved her, it still persisted. It was like a pilot light that had stayed burning deep within me, waiting for ignition, waiting for those words.
"Ali, are you awake?" I finally said, unable to stop myself, fearing if I did nothing I might explode.
She didn't move as I stole a glance at her back. And, as the silence stretched on, I thought, even if she wasn't awake, I could turn, I could move my arms around her waist, pull her close. I could burrow my face into her neck, drown in that sweet scent. I could wake her with a kiss, my lips pressed against her ear.
But she was awake, taking in a breath, shifting onto her side under the sheets to face me. She leveled me with those brilliant, bright blue eyes, her head moving slightly across the boundary between us, onto my pillow. She pulled it back again, a late correction, but I noticed it. I noticed it because a strand of her hair had almost brushed my face as she'd moved, and I could smell her suddenly, strongly, intoxicatingly. I fluttered my eyes closed, momentarily overwhelmed, before opening them again. In response, a smile played almost invisibly at the corner of her mouth. It might've been invisible to someone who had not studied her, committed every detail about her to memory like I had. But I saw it. I also saw her glance down at my lips before flickering back to my eyes.
If I knew anything about Ali, it was that that look was not accidental. It was an invitation. It was like she was waiting, like she could read my mind, like she knew exactly what I was really asking.
I was so nervous, my fingers tingled in a painful way, the way they would before I'd start a swim competition. How could I do this? I thought, and then, how could I not?
In a surge of courage, like jumping off of a cliff or out of an airplane, I leaned forward to kiss her. I was surprised when she met me half way, as if she'd just decided to kiss me herself. Our lips pressed together for a heady few seconds, gently but firmly. I pulled back for a moment to look at her, her eyes drifting open to look back at me. There was no shame, no embarrassment. This wasn't like before where she'd pretend she didn't feel the same. She was just right there, waiting for me.
And then, suddenly, it all felt real. It was actually happening. All of those imagined but inconceivable scenarios that had played through my mind hundreds of times were actually merging into reality.
I moved my hands back to her face, bringing her in again. With each kiss, I could feel something building, like a hunger, a years long culmination coming to critical mass. And, surprisingly, I was getting the same sense back from Alison. Her mouth moved more urgently over mine, her teeth closing around my bottom lip.
She tore away, yanking the sheets back, her arm hooking under my shoulder. She pulled me close in a way that I had never been to her. Never once in all that practice, all those kisses, had we been on a bed, Ali pressed hard against me. I reveled in the taste of her, her warmth, her softness. She rolled on top of me, her hand skirting under my pajama top. As she kissed and kissed me, she lightly traced her nails over my stomach. Her knees were on either side of my hips, I could feel, but it was hard for me to really notice anything other than what was happening with our lips, with her fingers.
I laced my hands into her blonde locks, partially to block it from falling into our faces, partially because I'd always wanted to know what it felt like, to hold her like this, her body weight white hot against mine. I felt her scalp just beneath her hair, shifting under my fingers. She made a noise into my mouth as I raked my nails through the strands.
She sat up slightly, forcing me follow her mouth on my elbows. We stayed connected, her fingers moving under my shirt, from my stomach to my rib cage. She pushed both palms flat up against me. They stopped as she brushed the bottom of my breasts, causing me to inhale sharply into her mouth. She pulled away, looking somehow nervous and sexy at the same time, her mouth parted as she looked down.
As she kept her eyes locked with mine, I felt both of her thumbs shift slightly higher, brushing just below and then across my nipples. I bit my lip, hard, only partially able to quell a moan, feeling it resonate in the back of my throat, as I unconsciously moved my hips upwards, our centers making brief contact.
"Fuck Emily," she whispered, throwing her head back for a moment, massaging both breasts now more roughly, grinding down onto me. If there was a moment where we could turn back, it was gone now.
I lifted fully from my elbows, pushing Ali into a straddling position over my lap. I moved my hands to the hem of her tank, pulling it over her head, only breaking our kiss as it passed by our faces. She grabbed roughly at mine and it was quickly discarded as well. I dragged my nails across her back in long sweeping motions as I kissed her neck. I could almost hear her make another sound in her throat, and I wanted to hear it louder.
It an attempt to produce it, I slid my hands into the back of her pajama shorts, gripping her ass tightly. As I kneaded it, I pressed her towards me, making sure her open legs made contact with my stomach. This had the desired result as I heard her moan long and low, her breaths coming more shakily, filling my mouth with warmth.
Taking control, I flipped us over in the bed, keeping her legs still wrapped around my waist. As I rocked into her, our bare upper halves slid against each other. Ali continued to hum deliciously into my mouth. Feeling an insistent need for more, I shifted slightly for better friction and, as I did it, I could suddenly feel the heat and wetness coming from Ali through her shorts. I pulled away, shocked and somehow even more turned on than I had been.
I had done that. I had done that to her.
"What is it?" she whispered, but I just looked down at her, taking her in.
I wasn't sure if there were even words, all of the ones coming to mind seeming paltry and pitiful. She was just so god damn beautiful. Seeming again to know what I was thinking, she moved her hand to cup my cheek, her thumb brushing over my lips.
"Can I—Can I take these off?" I asked, moving my finger just under the waistband of her shorts.
It was strange, I stuttered the question not because I was nervous, but because I was excited. In my other encounters, nerves and anxiety had always been a huge issue. I'd thought so much about everything. I'd been painfully present. I'd always figured that's how it would be with Ali, too. That if anything had ever actually happened with her, I'd be gridlocked with fear. I'd be frozen by the possibility of impending rejection, of doing the wrong thing.
But it wasn't like that at all. It was like swimming. I was just doing it. It was just happening.
After a moment, Ali simply nodded, biting her lip. Moving back from her, I pushed her legs together, pulling her remaining clothing free. As I turned back, finally able to enjoy her unbelievably naked form, she said, "Take yours off, too."
Something in her tone gave me pause. It was demanding, a hint of the Ali I used to know, the one that always got what she wanted. It sent a seductive chill down my spine, reminding me again of what was finally happening, who I was finally with. The dominating Alison DiLaurentis.
