A/N: Thanks so much to everyone reviewing/faving/following/ and reading! You guys are awesome!
"And oh, poor Atlas
The world's a beast of a burden
You've been holding on a long time"
"What the hell…" Natasha breathed. She was positive that she had just heard Loki's cries. For a second, Natasha wondered if this was another dream. She had just woken up, though. Dreaming or not, Loki sounded hurt. She jumped out of her bed and gracefully made her way across the dark bedroom until she dropped to Loki's side. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, but she wasn't sure if the man before her really was Loki. His hair was a tangled mess and his clothing wasn't the decorative garments that she had always seen Loki wear. She reached out to touch the man's cheek, forcing their gaze to meet. Staring into his tear-filled green eyes, Natasha saw that this was undeniably Loki, in the flesh. "Loki? What happened?" she whispered.
He dropped his Mother's dagger to the floor and instinctively threw his arms around Natasha. Loki felt like a helpless child as he buried his face against her chest, sobbing. Her body felt warm and comforting, just like his Mother's. The very thought only brought him more pain, forcing him to hug the red-head tighter.
Seeing that he wasn't going to answer her question right away, Natasha began running her fingers through the knots in his hair. The unmistakable scent of blood filled her nostrils, making her even more curious. Was Loki bleeding? Or did he make someone bleed? She bit down on her lip, wondering what she should do. If he was, by chance, dangerous, then she had a gun not too far away. For now, though, she chose to keep her voice soft and non-threatening. "Loki?"
The man responded with muffled cries. His ice-cold tears dampened the bare skin of Natasha's chest, along with her cami top. Loki couldn't bring himself to speak. There was a part of him that prayed this was all another nightmare brought about by Thanos. Natasha's arms embraced his body and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Although Loki knew that he was in the arms of Natasha Romanoff, he could only think of his Mother. Numbness took over once he felt that his tears had forsaken him. He took a deep breath in, then exhaled. Every intake of breath made his chest ache more and more, while exhaling only made him feel emptier. Loki turned his head to the side and listened to the sound of the woman's heartbeat. It sounded a bit faster than normal-he wondered if she was frightened-but it felt calming, nonetheless. After staring into the darkness for a few moments, listening only to the sound of Natasha's heart and steady breathing, her voice broke the silence.
"You need to tell me what's wrong…. I can't help you if you don't," she continued once his body stopped trembling. "Loki…" Natasha still wasn't sure what sort of situation she was dealing with, so she made sure to keep a soothing tone. Whatever the case, he seemed much calmer now.
"I killed her," Loki said weakly. Saying those words made everything feel real to him.
Natasha didn't want to know. Rather, she was too afraid to know. "Loki…" She had a bad feeling that 'her' was the woman Loki had told Natasha many a stories about… The agony in his voice only convinced her more.
"The dark elf may have been the one to kill her, but I am the sole reason they invaded…I should have died tonight, Ms. Romanoff…"
There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She closed her eyes for a moment, desperately hoping that it wasn't Frigga who had died. Of all people…
He pulled away from her embrace and looked the woman in the eyes. "My Mother is dead!" Loki spat, forcing Natasha to cringe. "She was killed by the very weapon she chose to defend herself with!" Loki snatched the blood-stained dagger from off the floor and held it up for Natasha to see. He rose to his feet, standing above her in a menacing manner.
Natasha didn't know Frigga personally. All she knew of the goddess was from Loki's stories. So why did she feel like her heart was breaking-like she had lost someone dear to her? Slowly, she stood up to be more at level with the god. She had never lost anyone close to her-emotional attachments were dangerous, especially in her risky line of duty. Natasha felt that the pain Loki was enduring must have been unbearable, though. The tears, the rage-all such powerful emotions. He needed someone to listen and console him before he did something reckless.
"I am who they seek! He is after me! He wants me dead!" the god continued, raising his voice. "I was about to die-gladly, I might add- until-" Loki could hardly bring himself to say it. Grasping the dagger tightly, he brought it dangerously close to Natasha's neck.
The Black Widow didn't even flinch. She wasn't afraid of the knife held inches from her skin- she had been through much more dangerous situations. "Until what?" she prodded. "Just let it all out," she added under her breath.
Loki let out a growl of anger as he threw the weapon to the floor. "Until the All-Father found it in his heart to save his 'son!'" Fresh tears formed in Loki's eyes.
An audible gasp escaped Natasha.
"I should have died! Me!" he screamed. "But he saved my life! And for what? So I can live with the suffering?" Loki stared down at his trembling, blood-stained hands in horror. The very sight of crimson was going to drive him to madness… until he found himself staring down at the red locks of Natasha. Suddenly, the red became bearable again.
She had thrown her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "It's gonna be ok, Loki," she whispered.
He remained silent as he rested his cheek against her hair. Deep in his heart, Loki knew that he would never be okay. Losing his Mother was a wound that would never heal.
"You'll sleep here," she ordered. Natasha didn't want to boss him around after what he went through, but she wouldn't stand for Loki moping. "Take a shower and I'll find some clothes for you." She didn't know how she would get him a change of clothes without being questioned. Her best choice would be to sneak into someone's room and hope they stayed asleep. Steve was going to be her first choice, since he was closest in height with the god.
Loki pulled away from her embrace. "There is no need, Ms. Romanoff." His tone was cold. "No one here will bother to stop my choice…"
Natasha didn't like the road he was turning to. "And your 'choice' is what? Killing yourself?" she wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"No one will notice I was even gone," he explained with narrowed eyes. "Rather, no one will care."
The assassin responded by giving him a swift smack across the cheek.
Loki stared at her with a puzzled expression. His hand began to rub his cheek which had started to sting.
"Quit being so damn selfish!" she snarled. "If you think no one cares, then you're wrong! Haven't our talks meant anything to you?!" Natasha demanded. "We've talked about everything-we opened up to each other. Are you trying to say that I don't care?" she fumed.
The god turned his head away, refusing to look at her. He couldn't deny that they had gotten to know each other rather well. Loki had learned so much about her. She was so much like him-was he really willing to leave her?
"Loki!" she shouted. They had a fight quite similar to this before… "You listen to me!" Natasha roughly grabbed him by the arm. "I'm sorry about what happened, alright? But is this what Frigga would want?" He let out a low growl as she said Frigga's name. "She would think you're being selfish! She loved you and would want you to live!" Her nails dug into the coarse fabric of his sleeve. "I still care about you, alright?!" she yelled. "And I'm not going to stop because you need me!" Her voice began to soften. "You need someone right now. And I'm not going to leave you," Natasha vowed with a look of determination in her eyes. "Dammit, Loki, you better be list-"
He had definitely been listening-he let every single word sink in. Despite how much the truth in her words hurt, he accepted them. His Mother would want him to live a happy life, as any good mother would. Loki couldn't think of any better life to live than with the woman who completed him most. He needed her now more than ever. She was far more than a friend in which he shared stories with. Natasha Romanoff was the very representation of everything he could have been, had he taken the right path. She was given a second chance, but what about him? Did Odin spare his life to give him a second chance? Perhaps Natasha Romanoff was his fate-the All-Father did send him to her, after all. It was for these reasons that Loki silenced Natasha with a kiss to the lips.
Natasha felt her mind go blank for a second. One minute, she was angry with Loki, and now he was kissing her. She didn't mind, though. This kiss felt far nicer than his spiteful one from an earlier nightmare. It didn't take long for her to lock her arms around his neck. The desperation behind his kiss left her wanting more.
Their lips soon parted just long enough for Loki to speak. "It would seem that my life was saved for a second time this evening."
The coolness of Loki's breath against her skin sent a shiver up her spine. "I don't want to lose you." She cupped his cheek and stared into his eyes, so full of sadness.
For the first time that night, Loki managed a small smile. "Who is the selfish one now?"
"I mean it." There was a fierce honesty within her words.
"I trust you," he replied before kissing her again. Without this woman, he would surely be dead by now. The very thought about no longer living made him realize just how disappointed his Mother would be in him. She would have wanted him to live, just as Natasha had told him. And as for Natasha, Loki wondered what she would do if he were gone. Would she grieve? Did someone entitled with the reputation as the cold and unfeeling Black Widow even shed tears? "I trust you with my very life, Ms. Romanoff." A hand stroked her cheek, smearing blood across her porcelain skin as he did so. "Forgive me…" He pulled his hand away and lowered his head.
"There's a shower across the hall. I'll get you some clean clothes…" She quickly turned on her heel. Looking down at her own slightly bloody top, Natasha saw that she needed to change. "Just give me a second."
"No need," Loki stated. His words forced her to turn back around. Within a split second, he had wiped away all traces of blood from his clothes and skin, both on himself and Natasha.
Natasha's eyes remained fixed upon the god as she saw his magic at work. She had never believed in magic-it was all cheap tricks. Loki, however, proved her wrong. "So sleep, then," she said after a pause. "You take the bed. If you need anything, I won't be too far away."
"You're leaving?" he innocently asked, sadness creeping into his voice.
"I'm just going to bed." Natasha didn't even want to know what time it was. All she knew was that she wanted to get some more rest before officially starting her day. "I'll be close by."
He reached out to grab her wrist. "Stay with me…" His pleading eyes resembled those of a child. "Please."
Natasha smiled for him. After all he went through, she couldn't say no to him. "Okay," she promised, leading him into her bed. A quick glance at her alarm clock told her that it was just after four. She had at least two more hours to rest up.
Loki crawled into bed with her and snuggled close to her beneath the sheets. "Thank you," he breathed.
"I'm sorry about what happened. Just know that I'm right here for you. I've got your back, remember?" Resting her head against a pillow, the two continued to stare at one another in silence.
"I'm afraid to sleep," Loki suddenly admitted. "Even more so at this very moment. What if Thanos comes? What if I'm forced to dream of my Mother?" A lone tear rolled down his cheek as he thought of the possibilities.
Natasha wiped the tear away with her thumb. "Just try to sleep. Think of…" Of what? Happy thoughts? She had only ever seen him happy while talking about Frigga. Unless she gave him something happy to think about… Leaning in close, she brought her lips to his. A kiss alone seemed to distract the god's mind.
Loki gladly took advantage of her distraction by kissing her back with even more force. His tongue fought with hers as their lip-lock grew more intense. Pure, carnal need overcame him. He wanted more of her. The taste of her mouth wasn't enough to sate him. The god tore his lips away and placed a trail of kisses from her neck down to her collarbone.
Natasha tried to fight back a gasp, only to fail once she felt a hand on her breast. "Loki!" she exclaimed, startled. How far was he thinking a single kiss would get him?
Loki paused and lifted his emerald gaze to meet with hers. "Do you not like this?"
She would be lying if she said she didn't. The coolness of his touch sent pleasant shocks throughout her body. He was so much different than any other man she had been with. Gods were a different story, apparently. Natasha's only concern was how far she would let things go. He had just lost his Mother-was this his way of handling his grief?
"If you would like to sleep, then please do so." Loki respected her enough to slowly pull away.
"No." Her hand reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt. Inching closer, she brought her lips to his ear. "Keep going."
Loki pinned her down to the bed, straddling her hips. For the second time that night, he showed her a magic trick. This one made both of their clothes disappear. He took a moment to marvel upon the milky flesh of her naked body. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Kissing the bare skin of her breast, he was amazed at how smooth and soft her skin was.
Natasha gave in to her needs and began to whine as his lips travelled lower down her body. The teasing way in which he kissed her stomach, hipbone, and inner thigh felt almost cruel. It was as though he was purposefully trying to set her over the edge. Her body couldn't hide her need for him, same for her racing heart. Once she felt the coolness of his lips brush against where she needed him most, she cried out his name.
Hearing her strikingly husky voice cry his name made his desire for her increase. It didn't take long for him to make his body one with hers. The heat engulfing the Jotun's body became unbearable in the most pleasant way possible. Loki wanted to be gentle with her, but Natasha begged for him to take her roughly. Not wanting to disappoint, he gave her what she craved with every thrust of his hips. She chanted his name like a prayer and worshipped him as a god with every pleasured cry. He gave to her until his body was spent and his breathing was just as ragged as hers.
Once they finished, Loki easily fell into a sweet, dreamless slumber. He had an arm protectively draped over Natasha, who had cuddled against his bare chest, fast asleep.
"And all this longing
And the ships are left to rust
That's what the water gave us"
What the Water Gave Me ~FatM
