Life in Dauntless
Chapter 11: Stage 2
I am now two weeks pregnant and today is the start of stage two of training. I came fifth in the rankings for stage one, it would have been better if I would have attended the rest of the classes but I didn't, because of Aaron, who came first.
Grandma is still staying with us, we decided to wait until I have finished initiation to do something about the people most probably coming after us, I also have to go to that doctor's appointment in two weeks.
Grandpa's funeral was a week ago. I couldn't handle it. Christina and Will were there, they made sure not to bring Aaron, they didn't bring any of their children, but they look like him, and their friendship with my parents is still patchy. They barely talk. I also couldn't handle the pain and the emotions that came with the day.
When we got home I locked myself in my bathroom and cut myself. Because of everything. I made sure not to cut myself where anyone would see it, though. I cut at the top of my left arm four times. They aren't big cuts, but they were enough to help at the time.
I haven't cut myself since.
My dad taught me ways on how to not show my divergence when I am in a simulation. I just have to do things the way a Dauntless would do it, or wait for my heart rate to calm down.
I'm scared about what I will see.
About what I will have to face.
Knowing that at least one of my fears will probably be Aaron.
Because I don't want to encounter Aaron, still, and no one else wants me to encounter him either I have to wait for everyone else to finish before doing mine. I am waiting in the apartment. Zeke and Uriah will call my dad when everyone is done and my dad will take me down there.
I spend the day with my parents and my grandma, watching movies and eating god knows what.
I don't speak.
I barely even pay attention to my surroundings.
I'm too busy thinking about my fears and what on earth they could be. Or how many I have.
At about five in the afternoon Zeke calls my dad and he leads me down various halls towards the simulation room.
We enter it and find Zeke and Uriah play fighting, as usual. It's good to see something normal again.
I actually smile.
"Guys, stop with the fighting." Dad tells them.
They stop and look at us.
"Okay, sorry. Hope, do you want to take a seat? Do you want your dad to stay?" Uriah says.
I nod as I take a seat in the lone chair in the centre of the room.
Dad shuts the door behind him and he walks over to me, sitting on the small gap at the edge of the chair so he is looking at me. He takes my hand in his and kisses my forehead.
Uriah injects some serum into my neck.
"It's going to take effect in sixty seconds." Zeke explains.
"Be brave, Hope." Dad says.
I remember the tattoo I have on the back of my neck and nod at him, trying to believe that I can be brave after everything that has happened.
It isn't long before my eyes start to drift close and I am no longer in the room.
I open my eyes a second later and I am somewhere completely different.
I am standing by the railings of the Chasm. There is no one there.
I am alone.
But then I'm not.
I see someone in the halls, but it's just a shadow at the moment, it's too dark to see who it is.
They step out of the shadow and I know who they are immediately.
It's Aaron.
He's stomping towards me. His eyes dark. But everything else about him is the same.
I try to run but I can't.
I'm paralysed.
How the hell am I supposed to get out of this the way a Dauntless would?
Wait.
I have to die.
A Dauntless would die.
If I did anything else then I would show my divergence.
He's getting closer.
And closer.
And closer.
I'm struggling to breathe.
I try to move again, but I'm still paralysed.
He's here.
He starts punching me and kicking me.
I can suddenly move.
But only backwards.
I feel my back against the railing.
This is it.
This is how I have to 'die'.
He pushes me. Hard.
I fall.
I'm still falling.
Black.
I jump up, struggling for breath.
My dad puts his hands on my shoulders to steady me as I take many deep breaths.
I feel bile rising up my throat.
I jump out of the seat and run over to the trash can in the corner of the room, managing to make it before puking.
I feel my dad's hand on my back, rubbing it soothingly.
When I'm done I stand up and my dad wraps his arms around me.
"H-h-h-how l-l-long w-was I-I-I i-i-i-i-in t-t-t-there?" I ask.
"Two and a half minutes." He answers.
"You two can go home now, if you want." Zeke says.
"Thanks Zeke, for the help with everything." Dad replies.
"No problem. I was wondering if you guys wanted to come round mine and Shauna's for dinner one night. Just my family and your family, you know. We haven't spent much time together recently. It's fine if you can't with everything that has happened recently, but you know." Zeke suggests.
"Sure. I'll talk to Tris and call you later." Dad says and he says goodbye to them before we leave.
God, this is going to be a tough week.
Hey Ravens, how are you?
Sorry for the wait.
I will update as soon as I can.
Please review!
