AN: It makes me sad that I can't reply to anonymous reviewers by private message, but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the kind words, constructive criticism, and suggestions given to me by everyone, including the anonymous reviewers. Shoutout to quinipissa479 for the "romancing the halls" comment. :) It was too funny to not incorporate.


"I can't believe you're still alive, mate," Ron told Sirius as they sat for breakfast the next day. "And sitting down, too."

"He didn't wallop me," Sirius told him.

"Which hex, then?" Ron pressed.

"No hex," Sirius laughed. "Seriously!"

"My father does not go back on his word," Harry looked at him suspiciously. "He promised he'd whack you."

"He gave me a soft pat to keep his word," Sirius explained. "Seriously."

"Then what happened?" Hermione asked.

"Well he got all strict and stern, and made like he was going to spank me good," Sirius explained. "He called me over to him, gave me a lecture, and then instead of whacking me he just patted my backside."

"Why did he do that?"

"Well, he promised I'd feel his hand on my backside, so he didn't want to go back on his word," Sirius replied, smirking. "But he said he would grant me mercy. He said I reminded him of Harry."

"He has no problem spanking me," Harry smirked. "And mercy for me means a few swats knocked off. How did you get off entirely?"

"I was sorry," Sirius answered ruefully. "And the thing is, I really was. I have no idea why I said that to him again."

"Taking your life into your own hands, that," Ron nodded. "But blimey, Sirius, how did you get off? Snape's the strictest teacher at Hogwarts, and he hates you too!"

"I think he was sorry too," Sirius answered quietly, looking at his food. "He apologized for hexing me."

The others looked at him, aghast, but Harry nodded. "I knew he would," Harry answered. "He does the right thing. He's apologized to me too."

"It's the end times!" Ron laughed. "Surely the apocalypse is upon us!"

"Although it is difficult to imagine Professor Snape apologizing," Hermione briskly told them. "I do not see it as a sign of the apocalypse. Perhaps we should talk about more relevant things, as Halloween is close."

"Have the twins gotten past the age barrier yet?" Harry asked Ron, and Ron shook his head.

"Yesterday they tried an aging potion that made them both look like they were ninety, and still that didn't work."

"Dumbledore's smarter than that," Hermione rolled her eyes. "But there has to be a way through."

"Why are we so all-fired excited to get through, anyway?" Ron asked, his face slightly pale. "I'm not sure I want to see that dog again."

"Because he's hiding something," Harry told him. "And I want to find out what it is."

"We might have to involve Draco," Hermione told them, not looking up.

"Why Draco?" Harry asked, surprised. Sure, he had been great when they were all in preschool together, and he was really quite useful with the volcano plot. But after the sorting he had become more - distant. Everybody seemed to be sticking with their assigned house.

Hermione shrugged. "He's good at this kind of thing. We should research, though, and then get back together."

"There's one other thing that I want to work on," Harry told them, his face becoming more troubled. "My scar is hurting more and more, but especially in Quirrell's class."

"What does your dad say?" Ron asked, concerned.

"I've mentioned it to him, but I feel sort of silly," Harry told them. "It feels like I'm a baby or something. Anyway, I'd like to make a plan about that too."

"Makes sense," Sirius answered, understanding. He hadn't let anybody know about his dreams of Bella.

"What plan would that be?" Hermione asked, perplexed.

"I want to see what's under his turban," Harry told them his voice even. He knew what he was suggesting sounded more like a prank, but he was deadly serious.

"He never takes it off, Harry," Ron told him. "I'll bet he even uses a sticking charm. That's not going to be easy."

"I know that," Harry told him. "But I just feel it. I want to see under his turban."

"He only started wearing it this year," Hermione mused. "Maybe we should find out more about where he was this past year."

"Fred and George might have some ideas, too," Ron said, thinking. "They are good at pranks, and this feels like a prank."

"This will take a very specialized attack," Sirius told him. "It would have to be as well planned as the volcano. And doing a prank might be a good cover for it."

"Then let's plan," Harry told them.

"Are you sure, Harry?" Hermione asked him. "I mean, we're planning two things that are likely to get us all in a lot of trouble. Should we just take one at a time?"

"We will enact one at a time," Harry decided. "But let's plan for both. And I'll see if Draco wants to help."

"Remus was always good at this sort of thing," Sirius mused. "It's too bad he's a guardian now."

"I intend to ask Snape for help," Harry told him. "It's all in how you do it. He gave us polyjuice for a plot one time."

"Snape helped with a plot?" Sirius asked, incredulous. "Didn't he just punish you for the thing with Fluffy?"

"That's because I didn't tell him," Harry grinned ruefully. "And put myself at risk. If I had planned and executed a good plot, with him helping me, I never would have gotten in trouble. Look what we did with the volcano last spring! And there's been others as well."

"So how do you talk to him, then?" Sirius asked.

Harry thought for a minute, and then said, "I will often say that I have a hypothetical situation where I need his help. I listen to his advice, and take whatever safety precaution he wants me to do."

"Do you think that would work with Remus?" Sirius asked.

"It might," Harry shrugged. "I think with my dad he wants me to be able to think and to plot, and he knows that bad guys are going to be coming for me at some point, so he wants me prepared. So he'd rather I learned going up against Lucius Malfoy than Voldemort. He's trying to teach me how to think. Of course, any consequences I get from the school I have to deal with.

"That actually makes sense," Sirius agreed.

"Then I know he's going to ask how we're planning on dealing with Fluffy once we are past the line," Harry said. "So we need to get on that too."

"And we have to get by Filch, who's always romancing the halls at night."

"Don't you mean roaming the halls?" Hermione asked, laughing.

"No, I mean romancing," Ron laughed. "I think he takes that kind o' pleasure in his work."

...

Sirius thought about what Harry had said, and decided to see if that really would work on his guardian. Would Remus forbid him?

That night after dinner Sirius went to Remus' quarters. He only had a half hour until he was due in detention, but Remus still wanted him to check in.

"I ordered tea and biscuits," Remus welcomed the boy into his quarters. "I got the ginger ones you like."

"Thanks," Sirius answered absently, nodding.

"White with two lumps?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded again, still distracted. But the ritual of tea calmed him. He recalled having tea with his mother sometimes, and it was one of the few times he was able to speak with his mother. She had expected good manners of course, and he found himself holding his cup properly without even thinking about it. His mother had been the better of his two parents; at least she had rarely hit him. But he hadn't known safety and love until he had known his friends at school. Until he had known Remus. He realized that he knew as little about what a father was supposed to be as Remus probably did.

"Harry told me I should ask you about a . . . hypothetical situation," Sirius asked, taking a deep breath.

"What situation is that?" Remus asked, smirking into his tea.

"Harry says that as long as he does things that are planned and he keeps himself safe and he lets Snape know that he doesn't get in trouble."

"That sounds reasonable," Remus answered. "What did you have in mind?"

"He says that Snape even helps him sometimes."

"Are you going to tell me or not?" Remus asked, exasperated.

"Hypothetically speaking," Sirius told him, taking a breath to calm himself from the anxiety of actually telling an adult that he was planning to break a rule. "How would one cross the age line?"

"I see," Remus smiled, sipping his tea. "That would be very tricky, especially as it was Dumbledore who did it. He's a very powerful wizard, and it would be unlikely to be fooled by any of the obvious means, such as an ageing potion."

"So how would you do it?" Sirius asked.

"First, I would be sure I knew how to handle what was on the other side," Remus told him firmly. "You would need to prepare for what you know is there, and for what you think might be."

"Okay, but then what?"

"You would have to choose a night where most people will be nowhere near," Remus explained. "And you would have to think about what the limits of the age line are."

"What do you mean, limits?"

"Every spell has limits, Sirius," Remus told him. "You have to think about what they are. You will never be able to just cross the line, that won't help. You need to go beyond the limits."

"I don't know what you mean," Sirius told him, scrunching his face.

"That gives you something good to think about, then," Remus told him, smirking. "It's all about planning and seeing boundaries. That's true about most of life."

"So what are the boundaries of the spell?" Sirius asked.

"I'm going to let you think about that," Remus told him. "I believe that Severus helps Harry, not tells him what to do. I've given you enough information to be able to think about it too. And we can talk about it more tomorrow as well."

"Then there's one more hypothetical situation," Sirius told him. "What if we were to play sort of a prank on a teacher."

"Please not Professor Snape," Remus told him, rolling his eyes. "Promise me that."

"Not Snape," Sirius assured him. "And it's not a prank for fun, it's a prank for a reason. It's personal with Harry."

"Let me tell you what I think we should do," Remus told him, thinking. "Let me try to relieve some anxiety for you. I will not punish you for anything that happens at school unless I get a note home. And I won't spank you for anything except for putting yourself or others in danger, lying or direct disobedience. Does that help?"

"That helps," Sirius agreed. "And that sounds fair."

"And let me know if I can be of help with either of your plans," Remus told him. "I agree with Severus, teaching you children how to plan and execute those plans properly is going to be helpful to you as you grow and face dangers."

"So you do want me to tell you these things?" Sirius asked, feeling incredulous. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a guardian he could talk to about everything, even breaking the rules.

"Of course," Remus smiled. "Oh, look at the time. I don't want you to be late for Severus."

"Of course," Sirius answered, finishing his tea and grabbing a few extra of the biscuits.

"I hope he goes easy on you," Remus smiled at him.

"He won't," Sirius sighed philosophically. "But it is our last one, so at least it will be over soon."