Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.
Okay, so I'm sorry for being one week late, but I was really occupied and I must admit I was out of inspiration, but for the next chapter, I have nice ideas, now I just need to find time to write them down. Sadly, I must take time to write my diary too: it helps me a bit, concerning my stress level, my depressive episodes and such... yep, I'm fucked up... but no big deals, I'm working on it.
Anyway, if you experience stress, or sadness, or low self-confidence etc... A diary can be quite helpful: it's the psychologist talking (but it can't solve problems though... well nothing's perfect.
R & R
Destiny against Choice
Chapter eleven: Kitsune
Current era: Japan
Syaoran-kun and I went to a huge and crowded mall I had only heard of. It was to be sure I wouldn't meet any known person. The mall was completely at the other side of the city and it had five floors. Thanks to Syoran-kun's job, president of his own business, we were transported there by one of the company's chauffeur and into a shining black car.
While we were wandering into the mall, people were staring at us since I was always into Syaoran-kun's arms; atleast I had my own clothes and not my cocky friend's. In Japan, you would rarely see a woman and a man touching each other in public so much less a woman being held by a man; things are slowly changing though... slowly...
Even if I knew it was a necessity at this moment since I had no shoes and a hurt foot, the looks we were getting were really annoying and embarrassing me. Sadly, it seemed Syaoran-kun was in no hurry to find me some shoes: before buying some, we first searched for clothes, meaning we both had to enter the boutiques while I was being held like if I was a newlywed woman. I was highly hoping for Syaoran-kun to get tired of my weight, but it seemed he had been trained well. Plus, the chauffeur was following us everywhere to hold our bags and bring it back to the car when there was too many of them. I felt so sorry for the poor man and wondered if it was part of his contract.
Luckily, it didn't take too many boutiques to have enough clothes according to me leaving only the search for shoes and underwear. However, there was no way I was going to shop underwear with him around. Therefore, I ordered him to find me some shoes so that I would atleast be able to limp into the lingerie's boutique. Smirking, he accepted and I finally was able to WALK with his help.
Finally came the underwear matter; I demanded him to stay outside the boutique and pushed and entered without him... or so I thought. Two steps later, I turned back towards him; he was playfully smirking.
"I told you to stay outside; I'll call you when I'll need you; I believe the reasons are obvious." He rolled his eyes.
"May I remind you that I already know what type of lingerie you wear? I saw everything." I grunted, blushing.
"Thanks for reminding me, but since you already saw everything, there's no point for you to accompany me." I was doing my best to stand straight, but my foot was really beginning to bug me. Syaoran-kun laughed and approached me, his hands in his pockets. Slightly lowering down his head, he faced me, amusement dancing into his gorgeous orbs.
"Relax; I was just kidding. I'll be waiting for you. Are you sure you'll be alright though?" I nodded, releasing a breath I was holding in. He exited the boutique and I turned around to face the store. A salesclerk instantly came to me and asked if I was in need of help.
The woman was a bit old, but she seemed really nice. She looked like if she was a gipsy. I smiled.
"Yes, I would need to build a whole new set of underwear." The old lady smiled and tilted her head to the side.
"To you wish to please your boyfriend too?" I was surprised at how open this woman was; I tried to do not show my embarrassment and amusement.
"No, he's not part of the equation."
"Well, even so, I can offer you to refer you to some younger salesclerk; they might be more à la page than I am, even if I do know the shop." I shook my head.
"No, you'll be just fine. I know what I need anyway. My major problem will be my foot, so if you could just spare me useless walk..."
It took us about thirty minutes to conclude the whole sale. I limped towards the entrance to get Syaoran-kun since he was the only one who could provide money; I wasn't pleased by the situation even if I knew I couldn't use my credit card, or any other cards, without being tracked down, therefore, I had no choice.
When he arrived at the cashier desk, my purchase had already been put into a bag. Syaoran-kun glanced at me while paying, amused by my shy behaviour. We thanked the old lady and went out of the boutique.
I was happy to know we were done shopping since it meant we could go back to his apartment and I could stop relying on him to walk with less difficulty. However, I had not programmed to run into Naoko-chan. Syaoran-kun and I were going out of the lingerie shop (together) when I heard a sharp gasp and the call of my name. My head immediately turned towards the sudden scream and for a moment, my brain seemed to stop processing the information; of all the places to meet a childhood friend!!
I looked up at Syaoran-kun's who was glancing at me; unpleased, but keeping his tempers and nerves under control.
I then understood I had to take the lead in the play Syaoran-kun and I had to take part into in front of Naoko-chan. My two friends didn't know each other, and therefore, the Chinese man wasn't certain of how to act; I didn't want him to alarm my friend by running off with me in his arms.
"Naoko-chan! What are you doing here... of all the places?" My voice was steady and I had a smile on my lips, but inside, my thoughts were boiling.
"Oh, there's a little library in this mall where you can find rare items and I had ordered something for my mother for Christmas. Sadly, they couldn't make it, but they were nice enough to demand a fast shipping anyway and call me right away... but I could ask you the same question; and who's your friend? You disappeared few days ago without telling anyone; did you spend Christmas with your father? And how did you hurt yourself so badly that you limp" Naoko-chan had always been the curious one.
"Hum... Yes, I was at my father's place, but as you can see, I'm back." Silence slid between us since my friend waited for the other answers I "forgot" to provide. Naoko-chan looked at Syaoran-kun , motioning me to atleast give him a name.
"And my friend here is Syaoran-kun. Syaoran-kun, I present you Naoko-chan, a childhood friend." Naoko-chan shyly smiled and looked at the bag my friend was holding. She frowned a bit and I became nervous; Naoko-chan knew me too well to believe I had gone into a lingerie boutique with a guy I never told a soul about. I tried to hold my smile still.
"Well we better get going..."
"Wait! Don't you have time to take coffee with me?" Syaoran-kun placed a hand behind my back and slightly pushed me forward.
"I'm sorry, but no. We have to leave. It will be for a next time, right Sakura-chan?" I nodded, eager to stop lying.
"Well, okay, then. See you, Sakura-chan!" I smiled and waved, but I noticed she was looking a bit suspicious; I guessed that I was a bit less cheerful than usual, plus it was obvious I was hurt (my foot) and I had not explained it either.
Quickly, Syaoran-kun brought me to a bench, made me sit and asked me to wait for him. Then, he headed back to where Naoko-chan had disappeared into the crowd: the last look I had thrown at her, I had seen her with her cell to her ear.
He came back few minutes later, took me into his arms once again and began to walk quickly, taking large steps.
"You're friend Tomoyo-chan is back in town; Naoko-chan called her since she's suspicious about me which mean we'll soon have company... which one, I don't know, but I'd rather not discover. We're going out by the back door; I told the chauffeur to wait for us there."
While Syaoran-kun was walking, I looked over his shoulder. At first, I didn't notice anything special, but eventually, something caught my eyes: some people were gazing at us. Of course, a lot were because it was not every day you would see a girl held into a guy arms like I was, but those glances of surprise, they were not out of place; the serious ones following our every movements were though. Why did this mall had to be so huge!
"I think some guys are following us... I'm not sure." Syaoran-kun grunted.
"Sure or not, we're leaving." We arrived at the back door, but as soon as Syaoran-kun's hand reached for the doorknob, a tall man approached us and forbid us to go any farther.
"If you'll please follow me; no story." Syaoran-kun groaned once again and sighed.
"Alright..." I hastily looked at him: what was he saying?! Suddenly, Syaoran-kun threw me, and I literally mean, threw me into the big stranger arms. The man caught me, almost losing his balance, but then my friend swung his fist onto the man's temples. Quickly, before the guy could bring me down with him, Syaoran-kun grabbed me back, put me over his shoulder and headed outside. Somehow, I managed to hold onto my purchase; I wouldn't have been able to loosen my grip anyway: I was too surprise and frightened.
Once outside, a surprise was waiting for us: a park. A park with bushes, trees and snow; there was nowhere to hide and at the limit of it was the car... waiting for us... Syaoran-kun had not predicted there would be a park to cross through.
Still, he couldn't just stay there and wait for our pursuers to capture us; therefore, he tried his luck and began to run towards the car and through the snow. Soon, we heard the doors bang open and the scream of some men. Over Syaoran-kun's shoulder, I saw them reaching for their weapons under their common clothes. My nails dug into my friend's skin and I couldn't contain a shriek.
"They have guns! They're gonna shoot!" And I added under my breath "And so this is how our story ends..." Clinging to Syaoran-kun, I freed the tears I had not realised I was ignoring. A wide void was forming into the pit of my stomach and I thought about all the things I was going to miss; all the experiences I had not been able to live... Had I even truly lived until then? Had I ever felt like I couldn't leave this life not because of family or friends, but because of me?
Syaoran-kun's muscles tensed up and he muttered, like if answering to my previous desperate comment "I won't let this happen; no way: Not this time." I felt he was running even faster, but then I looked once again at our pursuers: they were aiming for us... And we were such easy targets!
"Put me down! Syaoran-kun put me down! They're going to shoot; if we're not together, they might not! Touya won't let this happen! I said: leave me here!" His grip around my legs and waist tightened; Syaoran-kun had no intention to let me go. At this moment, I couldn't tear my eyes from the sight of those gunmen pointing their weapon at us. Soon enough they were going to shoot...
Suddenly, a strong wind started to blow, waking up the sleeping snow on the ground. The trees began to dance and the sky and clouds became dark and violent. The air was quickly getting oversaturated with snowflakes creating a screen between the men and Syaoran-kun and me, but that couldn't be possible because there wasn't enough snow on the ground to create such a storm; it was impossible. And yet, I didn't really care for the moment; our pursuers couldn't see us and therefore, they had really little chance to hit us even if they did try to fire.
The air was thick and cold, but we finally managed to reach the car; Syaoran-kun brutally opened the door and threw me inside the car before following me while ordering the chauffeur to step on it. He had not seen who was in the car since he was looking at the storm outside to see if the men were still after us. In fact, he realised there was someone else beside us only when he looked at me to see if I was alright. I, on the other hand, had been aware of the intruder's presence since the very moment I was thrown into the car, but I had been too surprised to even murmur to Syaoran-kun to look the visitor's way.
The moment Syaoran-kun's gaze fell on the intruder's smiling face, his arms wrapped around my body and tightly held me to his chest.
"Who are you?" Our visitor cocked his head to the side, still playfully smiling. He didn't say a word, but I managed to gain back control of my voice.
"Eriol-kun... What are you doing here?" I had so many questions, but this one was the only one I could correctly emit.
Eriol-kun still stayed silent. Growing impatient, Syaoran-kun ragingly turned towards his chauffeur.
"Hiso-san, why did you let a stranger get into the car?" Hiso-san gazed into the frontal mirror to look at us. He seemed like he couldn't understand the question.
"Sir? No one got into the car beside yourself, the damsel and of course myself... I guarantee you I would never..." With a white voice, I cut his sentence.
"Then how do you explain this man's presence?" I kept on eying Eriol-kun; my mind was still confused and I had no idea of how to react to this strange situation.
"Hum... Well, the master has every right to be in this car, miss... He is the owner after all... Is everything alright, sir? Miss?" Suddenly, Eriol-kun exploded into loud laughter and somehow, in the depth of my brain, I noticed it wasn't evil, but simply amused, like if my best friend's boyfriend was watching a great humorist's show. After a moment, Eriol-kun stopped to laugh and I felt Syaoran-kun's grip grew tighter.
"Your chauffeur can't see me." It was the first time he had opened his mouth and used his tongue and yet, his words were making no sense at all: How could the chauffeur not see him?
"What are you talking about?" Syaoran-kun lowered his head to be able to whisper into my ear.
"Sakura-chan, who is he? Do you know him?" Without removing my eyes from Eriol-kun's features, I answered my friend's question.
"He's the boyfriend of Tomoyo-chan." I asked once again my previous question in other words "What's the meaning of this, Eriol-kun?" Once again, he didn't answer to my question due to Syaoran-kun's intervention.
"There was nothing about him in the document I received back in China..." This time, it was Eriol-kun to answer.
"Of course there wasn't because I'm the one who sent you this letter." Syaoran-kun and I both stayed silent, the new information processing through our brains; though I gained back my tongue sooner than him.
"So since the very beginning, you knew who I was? You were gathering information on me? Maybe even spying on me?! Do you even really love Tomoyo-chan?" With each word grew my anger, my indignation and my pain. I kept my voice under control, but I knew my eyes were making me very easy to understand: I was mad.
"No, no, no. You don't understand. I am not Eriol Hiiragizawa. Well... you could say I am..." Syaoran-kun growled. His patience was diminishing.
"Explain yourself." Eriol-kun sighed.
"You look so much like you ancestors' spirit... I'm the kitsune-kami-sama: the fox spirit, master of illusions, mystery and cleverness." He stopped for a minute, but his audience stayed silent.
"Currently, the most powerful and known religions maintain there's only holy figure: Allah, God, whatever you call it, it remains the same. However, in Ancient Times, most civilisations, if not all, believed there was more than one god. America, Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia... Do your researches. Here in Japan, we were not gods, but spirits... it might even be the best description... Anyway, the fact is that our role was to maintain the balance of this World. The spirit of earth, of river, of forest; the wolf spirit, the owl spirit, of course I too ... We are so many, but we all exist for one task: keep this planet alive. Balance. Ying and Yang. But one day, we lost control: a specie was growing more and more powerful. Of course, it's the law of the jungle, but then again, this planet has its limit. Therefore, we implanted Ying into a female human being and Yang into a male kind; their unification being the most powerful gesture of bonding and therefore the only one that can free enough energy to revive Earth. We had never done this before; we didn't know Ying and Yang would blend with each human being's soul meaning that each time the planet was in need of your unification, you would appear. You have succeeded only once, but afterwards, you were mercilessly killed each time you would come back to life. Now, Earth is breaking down; dying. Back into your first life, each of your tribe had a shaman; two twin brothers despising each other; this explaining why they had joined different clans. They dreamt of your unification, of its meaning and they decided they had to stop you both from doing so; you're failure meaning Earth would be more easily surpassed by mankind. Each time you failed, men would create a new invention to take advantage of this planet; stealing without giving back. Earth grew weaker and weaker and now, it is at its limit which is why I am here; to help you both. It was decided I was the most qualified for this mission. Therefore, I fit into your good friend Eriol to keep an eye on you; he remained himself and he was aware of my presence; your friend understands the situation and I must say he enjoys this more than he should. Now that this is all cleared up, I'd like to hear a little thank for the snowstorm I created back there to save your lives." Syaoran-kun and I remained silent, still shocked by the spirit's speech. There was no way a normal human being would believe such a story, but then again, it was quite alike what we had already found at the library and reincarnation shouldn't be real either. Plus, the chauffeur couldn't see Eriol-kun and it was perfectly impossible for Syaoran-kun and I to have the same visual hallucination.
My friend was the first one to gain back his senses.
"What will happen to Earth if we do unify? Will there be earthquakes and volcanoes' eruptions?" Eriol-kun smiled and shook his head.
"We do not wish to kill your kind, we want Earth to breathe and live; the forests will bloom, rain will purify the ground and the water will be clean once again.... BUT, some people will lose their work of course. Soon, there will be no more petrol; therefore, We planned to give a little push towards cleaner ways to use the environment... Of course, it means changes and destruction of old ways, but We have no choice: the survival of your planet means yours too."
"So what happens now?" This time, I was the one to talk.
"You do what you are suppose to do, but remember. It must be thoughtless, free of any intentions... pure. Ying and Yang reside into your hearts; they're not meant to think, but to feel." I bit my lower lips, uneasiness creeping into my veins; I felt like if the World had been put on my shoulders alone to support. Of course, I knew Syaoran-kun would always be there for me, but in this situation, it wasn't really helping since he was part of the deal.
Softly, the car stopped in front of Syaoran-kun's building.
"Tell me, Eriol-kun, do you love Tomoyo-chan?" I wasn't sure if it was my friend who was going to answer or the fox spirit.
"Yes, he does; I live his feelings for her every minute of the day and night." I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to control my nerves.
"I guess I can say without fearing to make any errors it is this love you're talking about; Syaoran-kun and I have to share this sort of bond, right?" Eriol-kun nodded.
"Then do you realise the difficulties of being sure those feelings are mine and not shadows of my ancestors'? Do you realise how much stress and responsibilities you're binding to our relationship, draining it of any romanticism, any deepness and any freedom? Do you realise how hard it is to simply love? To give and have faith without being sure you won't be hurt? Do you realise that?"
Eriol-kun's eyes saddened and his chin slightly dropped.
"I'm sorry Sakura-chan. I know it is hard..."
"It is..."
"But remember one thing: you cannot be forced into something you don't want to do." I huffed; his words seemed to have another meaning than the one I had always given this motto. Still, I didn't wait to see if I could decipher his little game; I managed to get free from Syaoran-kun's grasp, got out of the car and headed towards the building's lobby's main door. I heard my friend give some instruction to the chauffeur and easily caught me back since I was still limping. He leaned over my shoulder and whispered into my ears.
"He vanished."
Okay, so I'm publishing this while watching The Vampire diaries and I'm sorry if I let some errors slip out of my sight, but I really like this tv show. I know, I told you about diaries before know I'm telling you about the Vampire diaries, but for real, it is a coïncidence. My teacher talked about diaries last week and I thought I would try... Anyway, I'll stop finding excuse.
But seriously, try this show: The Vampire Diaries (on CW) It has nothing to do with Twilight (beside the vampire thing, but they're different vampires). Sadly, the bad guy, Damon, rocks! Shit...
An other show: Merlin. It's made in England. It's not the old Arthur tale, it's funnier and fresh and new. Really try those shows!
Well, see ya, gotta watch the show!
BTW: à la page, à la mode, I guess you know what it means, but kitsune means fox (just in case)
Lune-diamant
