Part 11: Fin
Finn and Jake's bodies became conscious once again, expelled from Quasipan's mind entirely (the hairball dimension was a pocket of the spirit world, but ultimately still connected to Quasipan's brainspace). Quasipan had been able to expel all three of their psychic avatars out of his head because they were now a "group" linked by bonds of the heart.
Jake kicked up and rubbed the soul off his body blearily. "Huh. Guess we won."
"I thought there was never any doubt?" said the snakeworm.
"Uhhh. What is this thing?" Jake stared at the worm with his puppy eyes. "Good Glob. Not another psychic worm to deal with," he whined. "I'm pooped, man."
Finn seemed to have some juice left in him. "Come on, Jake, you're not the unstoppable dynamo of this duo, not me. …Oh shnikes, Jake, there was something I meant to tell you, but I forgot what it was!"
"Hope the cat didn't eat a chunk out of your brain or something. Not that it would actually—"
"—Change much, yes, hilarious, Jake."
"Ahem," the worm cleared its throat. "While immersed in Quasipan's mindspace, you came to want to tell the dog the following: "We're way excellent, homedog."
"No need to tell me that," bragged Jake. "No one knows better than I do!"
"Now I must take my leave," the worm intoned as he inched away. A pause. He held his head up high. "I'm off to be a hero now."
"No besnizzles?" asked Finn, flabbergasted. He'd made a psychic worm want to take up the hero's life? "Whoa, I'm like a… role model or something! That's bedonk!"
"Hold your horses, buddy, maybe it was me," said Jake.
"No, it was the human," replied the worm.
Finn reached into his backpack. "Here, dude. Take this. It's a legendary guidebook called the Enchiridion."
"Oh, no no, don't worry," said the worm. "I gleaned everything I need to know about the business from you already." A crack of the wormy lips.
"He is psychic," said Jake.
"It wasn't his head I peered into." A full blown smile. He faced Finn, head still held up high, proud as can be. "It was your heart."
"Aww… really?" Finn blinked, a little touched. "I said all that beshniz?"
"It can't have been your head, your head's mega tiny," said Jake.
Finn froze as he was struck with the realization of just how sickeningly girly he must have been, to spout stuff like "the heart."
Suddenly, a squeak. Of course.
"Ooh, a worm!" The vole named Ælfgifu pounced, but Quasipan intercepted, picked the vole up by the tail.
"If you're attacking worms, I trust your senses have returned?" asked the cat drolly. "I do remember I left you with the rather unfortunately inaccurate impression that you're a cat, but then, my own category error was a tad bit greater—I used to think I was a god, of all things!"
"I'm not a cat?" asked the vole.
"Cats hardly eat worms."
"They don't?" Ælfgifu started panicking in Quasipan's grasp.
"Uhh, no, they don't!" said the worm, sweating wormy sweat.
"I'm pretty sure I've seen a cat eat a worm before," said Jake.
"Have you now? Well, then I certainly do have much to learn, don't I?"
The cat snapped its paws, and the vole returned to normal.
"You can snap your paws again!" gasped Finn.
"I say, why so shocked? No matter the amount of information stored in this noggin of mine… there's always room for the imagination, isn't there?"
"Uhh… Gonna be a hero, kay, bye everybody!" The worm inched away at top speed from the vole while it was distracted.
"Yes, well, I believe it's time I departed to participate in this wide and wonderful world you humans left for us cats to play in."
"Sorry about destroying your UFO seat," said Finn. The wreckage of the flotation device was still kind of steaming in the winds.
"I'm not going to fly. It's time I walked. Walked on my own four feet."
"You're going to stumble a lot without a tail," said Jake.
"And I'll pick myself up each and every time. Now, adieu, and adieu."
Quasipan lifted his front paws, and Finn and Jake took them to shake goodbye before the cat could topple over.
"Hold on, kitty, could you stay?" asked Ælfgifu. "I know you cats like to eat rodents and stuff, but… we could use some serious firepower for the coming war against the capybara-pika alliance. They'll seize upon our compromised position and stuff!"
"Little one, there is no need." Quasipan tapped his head. "I predict no such war will occur."
"How come?"
"In my infinite approximate knowledge, I know only one thing for certain: Jake the dog and Finn the human will save the day."
"Ugggh," said Jake, rolling on the grass. "Can't the worm do it or something, I just want to sleep."
"Up and at 'em Jake, it's only 1:00 in the afternoon!" yelled Finn.
"Have we really done that much in such a short period? We're getting maybe a little too good at this hero business, you know that?" Jake scratched his tummy.
"It's been roughly six hours since you two had breakfast," said Quasipan. "Now, I bid you farewell. I'm tuckered out myself, and I wish to dine on the fine salads of a quaint little restaurant on Mars. Voles, yes, quite…" The cat mumbled, amused.
"You're gonna walk to Mars?"
"I might cheat a little." And with that, Quasipan vanished from sight.
"…Wish I could teleport," said Jake.
"C'mon, dummy. Hop on my back."
Finn slung the dog over his shoulder and set about working to prevent the daily cycle of rodent wars on the Meerkat Plains. They still had the rest of the day to perform heroics they'd actually remember, after all. It was a tough job, but whenever an innocent cried out, Finn the Human and Jake the Dog were always on call.
