I was being held under. It was a feeling I had grown familiar with, like I was being forced beneath the black tar from my nightmares. Choked. Immobile. Disoriented. Scared.
My mind faded in and out. I was unable to get a strong grasp on my senses. I knew I was being carried but I didn't know by whom. There were no sounds of voices, nothing at all. It was only me, floating in the blackness, waiting to be pulled back to the surface.
I don't know how much time had passed but I slowly began to feel very cold. The black tar seemed to transform into icy water. Shards of cold glass penetrated the numbness of my body. I was being poked and prodded, with sharp pain occasionally jolting my senses.
The pain eventually faded but the ice didn't disappear. The cold reminded me of the journey to Tsibeya that Mal and I endured. We had struggled to keep warm, to stay alive in the winter chill, using each other's body heat for warmth. My heart gave a little twist at the thought.
I then remembered seeing the stag for the first time. Its large, elegant body clouded my thoughts. With its silvery antlers and its languid disposition, it had overwhelmed me. When I rested my hand on the stag's body, I knew we were connected. I knew there was something much larger at play than what I saw.
My thoughts suddenly shifted to the stag lying on the ground, its dark eyes vacant of all life. Its crimson blood spilled against the pure, white ground. The Darkling had slit its throat without hesitation. He was quick to secure the collar on me and bind me like his pet.
I was awoken by this memory. My body jolted upwards, with my hands in a defensive stance in case I needed to attack. I quickly realized I was alone, in a small, dimly lit room. The walls seemed to curl in around me, making me feel uncomfortable.
I was sitting on a narrow yet comfortable bed, which had smooth, silken bedding. There was a tiny, wooden table, one chair, and a chest placed about the room. No windows, no decoration, no source of warmth or comfort.
As I stood, I immediately realized that my body felt more like mine again. Though I could still feel the dark, lingering presence inside of me. I looked myself over, checking for cuts or bruises but I didn't find anything. There was only the same torn clothes I had been traveling in.
Cautiously, I approached the wooden door that stood in the corner of the room. I placed my ear against the wood and listened for any sound of movement. I heard nothing but I decided to wait. Time passed and I heard the shuffling of boots then muted discussion.
The doorknob slowly turned and I backed away, scrambling for something to attack with. I stood behind the wooden chair and gripped the withered sides with shaky hands, ready to throw the chair on whoever walked through the door. Though I doubted my ability to actually lift the chair.
A tall, tan-skinned woman walked into the room wearing Heartrender colors and an annoyed look on her face. She took in my defensive stance and rolled her eyes. In her hands was a pitcher, a rag, and a bundle of clothes, which she dropped on the table before me.
"Clean yourself up. You have ten minutes," she said in a thick accent. She left the room before I could respond.
I pushed the rag aside and grabbed the pitcher, hoping it was filled with cold water. Hesitantly, I placed the pitcher to my chapped lips and drank nearly the entire container. I used the rest of the water and tended to the dirty patches on my body.
Finally, I picked up the bundle of clothing. I didn't know what to expect. As I unfolded the clothes, a bitter laugh escaped from my mouth. I was given a black ensemble, with black kefta and all. There had been a small doubt in my mind that I had not been abducted by the Darkling's Grisha but now I knew for certain.
I threw the clothes on the ground and waited for the Heartrender to return.
I was surrounded by four Corporalki, two behind me, and two leading me through winding halls. They had covered my eyes and bound my wrists as they seemingly led us in circles, probably in an attempt to confuse me. Eventually, we walked into an open space, where voices echoed through the earthy smelling air.
I recognized the feel of the stone floor and I knew we were in the same large room that I saw the Darkling in. The voices faded out as we moved through the room. I could hear a few whispers as we walked by. I wondered how many Grisha the Darkling truly had at his disposal.
One of the Corporalki removed my bindings and pushed me through a long, narrow hallway. He opened, what I imagined to be the Darkling's bedroom door, and shoved me in, gently closing the door as he left.
The Darkling had his back turned to me as he stared at a large map on the wall. Furniture had been repositioned around the room so that the map would be in full view. I squinted my eyes, trying to make sense of several foreign symbols that dotted the terrain.
"You were a map-maker before all of this, weren't you?" the Darkling asked, turning his head slightly toward me.
I nodded.
He looked back at the map then gave a little chuckle. "Imagine if your true power had never been discovered. You would have wasted away as an assistant to a Cartographer, living out of a meaningless life as otkazat'sya. No purpose, no greater goal to your life."
I ignored the sting of his words. I had no desire to live in the past anymore, as I was only concerned with the now.
"My lifetimes had really been no different." His voice was barely above a whisper.
He turned back to me, his expression changed. The Darkling seemed to be glowing, a hopeful look present in his eyes. He motioned to a wooden table, larger than the one in my room, and he sat down. I reluctantly moved my feet and sat on the edge of the cushioned chair.
The Darkling did his usual study of me, a frown tugging at the corner of his somber mouth.
"You look well, aside from your dirty appearance," he observed. "You didn't like the clothes I sent you?"
"Is the darkness gone?" I asked, dodging his attempt at distraction. "You said you would help me if I came here."
He shook his head and said, "No, not even close. Your healing process is going to take time. You opened a door that can never be fully closed, Alina."
My eyes widened. "You're saying I'm stuck with this? All I wanted was…"
He pressed two pale fingers to his temple and stared at me. "Was what, Alina? Power over me?"
I lowered my eyes to the ground.
"It will never truly disappear, not as long as I am alive. Just remember, light is your strength and dark is mine. Stick to what you know."
I looked back at him and snorted. "Or maybe I could try and put a fetter around you and see how well I fare."
The Darkling smirked. "It was a worthy attempt. Do you know where we are?" He gestured to the map. "Go on, try and guess a location."
I looked at the map and was able to see the symbols more clearly now. The Darkling's sun-in-eclipse symbol was scattered across the map, appearing in Fjerda and Shu Han territory, all the way to parts of Novyi Zem.
"What are you planning?" I questioned.
He frowned at me. "We are in a cave, Alina, deep in the mountainside, within the borders of the Shu Han territory."
I gave him a speculative look, trying to hide the creeping fear spreading throughout my body.
"I brought you here to help you, Alina."
"It doesn't count as helping if you were the one who caused the pain in the first place," I retorted.
He gave a weary shrug. "My plans have changed."
"Your new plan is to keep me trapped then? If I'm stuck here, I am no threat to your attempt to take over Ravka?"
He was silent for a moment, thinking everything through, as he always did.
"What do you see for yourself back within the palace walls of Os Alta?" he asked pointedly. "Be honest with yourself."
"I—I," I fumbled for the right words. I thought of Nikolai's absurd offer for me to be queen. I thought of my role as the unnecessary leader of the Grisha. Then I thought of the Apparat and the Soldat Sol remaining in power beneath the king. The blind worship of Sankta Alina. "I see change." I was lying.
The Darkling's clear, quartz eyes bore through me.
I sighed. "I see tradition."
The corner of his mouth turned upward, ever so slightly. "Ravka is steeped in tradition and so is much of the world. That's what I have wanted to change for a very long time."
I looked up at the map and tried to make sense of the location of the Darkling's symbols. Had he already mobilized Grisha to that many parts of the world?
"How long am I to be your prisoner?" I asked with disdain.
The Darkling's jaw clenched at the word 'prisoner'.
"I suppose until you figure out how to escape. Though the Shu Han do not take kindly to foreign invaders in their land, or Grisha for that matter."
"Then how do you expect me to believe you mobilized an entire Grisha army into a Shu Han mountainside without being detected?"
The Darkling raised his eyebrows at me. "Thats's a valid point. You can take your chances if you ever do escape." He waved his hand absently at the door. "I have things to tend to. Go."
I rose from the chair and gave one last look to the map, trying to memorize as I much as I could. Was there any way I could inform Nikolai of the Darkling's plans?
As I reached for the door, the Darkling said, "Alina, you are only a prisoner here for as long as you regard me as your villain."
I stayed silent and opened the door. I was quickly bound, blindfolded, and ushered down the hallway like before. Despite my seemingly hopeless circumstances, an idea began to slowly form in my head.
Author's Note: I've been really excited to get to this point in the story! As a fic writer, it's always interesting to diverge from the canon and see how readers respond. So yeah, please review and let me know what you think! And thank you to everyone who continues to read this story and review :')
