A/N: So, honestly, I don't know if I'm gonna finish the story or not. I wrote this story back before Book 6 came out, if my memory serves me, and now the series has ended. So I don't even know if there are any people who even care about this story anymore. Either way, I've had this chapter on my computer for a while, mostly but not quite finished. So I'm sending it in. If there are enough people still interested, I guess I can pick this one back up, but accelerate the plot line a fair amount. If not, it was fun to write at the time, and lots of fond memories!! Also, if you do read this all the way through, I do have better versions of the first five chapters.. I'll probably just replace those when I add this chapter. They're all marked as updated, but I kept the same old A/Ns. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything connected to it; that would be JK Rowling and Scholastic Books. So don't sue; I'm broke.. heh..

Going Through the Motions
by Squall Thrawn

Chapter 11

You Just Took My Soul With You

"What seems to be the problem today, Mr. Potter?" asked Professor Parthagonian as Harry gingerly picked himself up from the floor of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. It was late in the evening on the Wednesday after his break-up with Seamus. "Last week, you did quite well in your lesson. Your mind was focused, empty of all emotions. You were keeping me out quite well. Today, though, you're offering no resistance."

"Sorry, Professor," muttered Harry. "I haven't been able to concentrate the past couple of days."

"Your mind must always be focused at all times," pressed Parthagonian. "We don't know when Voldemort is going to try to invade your dreams, pervert them for some foul purpose. Whatever is going on, anything else, is secondary to your Occlumency lessons."

"Yes, Professor, I'll try harder this time," Harry replied dutifully. He obediently got himself back into position.

"That's enough for one night, Mr. Potter," said Professor Parthagonian, dismissively. "Just remember what I said and, come next Wednesday, be better prepared." Without a further word, the tall man walked to his office and closed the door behind him.

Harry stifled a groan, and trudged out of the classroom, grabbing his book bag on the way out. He made his way towards the Great Hall for a late dinner. There weren't too many students in there by this time; however, Hermione and Ginny were waiting for him, and strangely enough, so was Dean Thomas. As Harry approached the small group of Gryffindors, he noticed out of the corner of his eye a small knot of mixed students from different houses and years standing in the corner of the Hall and talking to each other in low tones.

"Hey, Harry," said Ginny as he approached the small group of Gryffindors. "How were… things?"

"Tiring," answered Harry, truthfully. "He may not be as caustic as Snape, but Professor Parth is just as strict."

"I just hope you're learning more this year," said Hermione, encouragingly. She and Harry had returned to speaking civilly when classes had resumed on Monday. Though she still disapproved hardily of Harry's decision and some of her tone when talking to Harry reflected those feelings, she still found it well nigh impossible to abandon him entirely. Harry privately suspected that since the direct approach hadn't worked, she now had an agenda to very subtly 'bring him to his senses'.

"I think so," said Harry, nodding. He turned to Dean Thomas, his expression showing some surprise at the black boy's presence. "How are you doing, Dean?"

"Fair enough, Harry," said Dean, shrugging. "I'm sure you're surprised that I'm here; things are pretty strained at the moment." That was probably the understatement of the century. Seamus and Harry hadn't spoken so much as a word to each other since the 'break-up'; in fact, Seamus had been unable to look Harry in the eye since then. The fact that they had multiple classes together and even shared a table in Defence Against the Dark Arts only made things worse.

Unable to say anything, Harry merely nodded grimly. He still felt horrible about the situation.

Dean continued. "The thing is, Harry, I do want to patch things up with Ginny. And I know that the two of us have never been that close, but I hope we can at least reach the point that we were at, before the Truth or Dare night." Dean's voice took on a quieter tone. "And I want to help Seamus. He's really hurting, Harry. I honestly don't know what happened between you two, but it hit him really hard. He's been rooming with Neville since it happened, and Neville told me that every night he's been kept up by Seamus's crying."

"I don't see how I can help, Dean," said Harry, hoarsely. "All I've done so far is hurt him."

"Maybe talk to him, Harry," pleaded Dean. "He needs to get over you; maybe you can help him do that. Also," Dean continued, "I'm worried about Seam's safety."

"Are you afraid he's going to hurt himself?" asked Hermione, worried. "It can't be that bad!"

"It's worse than you'd think, Hermione, but that's not it," said Dean. He pointed to the group of students in the corner. Harry noticed that while a few students had left the group since he'd first seen it, a few more had joined, resulting in. Comprised mostly of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, Harry recognized Zacharias Smith of Hufflepuff and Michael Corner of Ravenclaw amongst others.

"Who are they?" asked Harry, worry creasing his brow. Now that attention had been especially called towards the group, Harry dimly recalled seeing them around the school; mostly in the periods between classes. And, now that he'd thought about it, it had always been the classes he shared with Seamus.

"Let's just say, they're not your fan club," said Dean, grimacing. "If you were ever wondering who in Hogwarts disapproved of yours and Seamus's relationship, or homosexuals in general, there's the bulk of them right there."

"All of them?" questioned Hermione, surprised. "I wouldn't have thought that many would be so opposed. I mean, I know there was some muttering going on when Harry and Seamus walked into the Great Hall hand in hand, but I hadn't realised they were actually banding together in opposition to it."

"It's more widespread than you'd guess, Hermione," said Dean gravely. "There is a fair amount of Gryffindors, Ron included, that weren't all that happy at the thought of what Harry and Seamus might be doing in their room."

"Then why aren't there any Gryffindors in this group?" asked Harry.

"They respect you too much, Harry," said Dean, simply. "You and Seam are both Gryffindors. There's a lot of House loyalty at work here. As it is, though, Ron and Cormac McLaggen do meet up with these jokers on a fairly regular basis."

"Ron," Ginny growled out. "How I ended up with that git as a brother, I'll never know."

"Are these people bothering Seamus?" asked Harry, still troubled.

"More and more so since the two of you broke up," answered Dean. "Apparently, they were too scared of what you might do if they messed with your boyfriend. But now that you aren't together anymore… Seamus has had his books knocked down in the hallways, ink spilled in his bags, and they're always calling him derogatory names." Dean sighed. "And he's too wrapped in his own world to talk to anybody about it. If I hadn't witnessed some of it myself, I wouldn't have known either."

"I'll see what I can do," said Harry, reluctantly. "I'm sure I'm the last person he wants to talk to, but Seamus could get hurt if he doesn't watch out; I get the feeling they mean business."

There was a pregnant moment of silence, until Hermione finally spoke. "Have you… have you finished Professor Parth's essay on Blanditium?"

Harry shook his head. "I haven't even started it yet. I don't seen the point in learning about some half-arsed form of Imperius that only works under certain conditions?" Finishing their dinners, the Gryffindors continued talking of their classes. All the while, though, Harry kept one eye on the group in the corner. He had a bad feeling about them.

"Come on, gather 'round, class," called Hagrid. "I've got summat great ter show ya." The sixth-year Care of Magical Creatures class approached the wire cage sitting on a tree stump near Hagrid's hut with trepidation. After the Blast-Ended Skrewts in their fourth year, anybody with sense was leery of what Hagrid could be teaching about next.

With a dramatic flourish, Hagrid pulled the cloth off the cage. Most of the class gave a sigh of relief at the sight of the scrawny mournful-looking bird that greatly resembled a vulture. Greenish-black, it peered at the class quizzically.

"What an ugly looking bird," Harry could hear Ron muttering under his breath.

"What is that, Hagrid?" asked Dean Thomas, frowning at the scrawny bird in front of them.

"Tha' is an Augurey," replied Hagrid. "Ya don't see too many a' these aroun' anymore. Does anyone know anythin' 'bout these beauts?"

To Harry's total lack of surprise, Hermione's hand shot up. "The Augurey is native to Britain and Ireland. It only flies in the heavy rain, and its cry was once thought to be a death omen. However, people have since found out that its cry in fact foretells rain. And another name for it is the Irish Phoenix."

Hagrid looked suitably impressed at Hermione's encyclopaedic knowledge. After giving Hermione five house points, Hagrid continued on with the lecture, comparing the Augurey to a regular Phoenix. Having already witnessed firsthand many of the abilities of Fawkes, Dumbledore's Phoenix, Harry didn't find the lecture as informative as most of the other students did. He instead spent the time debating what he should do about Seamus. And trying to ignore the frequent glances made by Justin Finch-Fletchley. Ever since the break-up had become public knowledge, the curly-haired Hufflepuff seemed to be trying to covertly flirt with Harry. Harry found his efforts vaguely comical, since Justin's attempts to be secretive couldn't have made it more obvious if he'd tried. Harry let them pass without responding, however. If he couldn't be with the one he wanted without endangering him, he sure as hell wasn't going to drag a whole new person into his mess. Putting Justin firmly out of his mind, Harry went back to figuring out what to do about Seamus.

As the class drew to a close, Harry finally came to a decision. Vaguely thinking that he was going to have to get any assignments from Hermione, as he hadn't been listening, Harry waited for Hagrid to dismiss the class. After what seemed like five hours, they were eventually released. Bypassing Hermione and dodging Justin Finch-Fletchley, he caught up to Seamus and Dean, who had been the first to head towards the castle.

"Hey," said Harry, feeling anxious. The two turned around at the sound of his voice. Dean looked almost relieved at the thought of Harry intervening. Seamus, however, stiffened, and quickly turned his head away.

"Please, Seamus, we need to talk," said Harry pleadingly. Seamus hesitated, then turned his head back and nodded.

"I'll be in the common room, then we can head down to dinner," said Dean Thomas. "I think you two need to talk privately." The boy walked off towards the castle, leaving a now awkward silence behind him.

"Why don't we walk for a while?" suggested Harry, finally. Seamus shrugged, and the boys began walking towards the lake area.

The two walked in silence for a bit, before Harry finally spoke up. "I noticed that Dean's been trying to make up with Ginny recently."

Seamus nodded. "He told me he feels bad about how strained things got between the two of them when he was having problems with… with us."

Harry hesitated over how to broach his topic delicately. "Dean also mentioned that you've been having problems with some of our classmates."

Seamus turned to look at Harry angrily. "I didn't ask you to protect me, Harry!" Seamus shook his head. "I can take care of meself just fine, without the Golden Boy keepin' an eye out for me."

"But that's just it, Seamus," pleaded Harry, "you aren't taking care of yourself. I've noticed how detached you are in class, and Dean told me that you aren't standing up for yourself at all."

The brief fire in Seamus' eyes died as he silently looked at Harry. "What's the point in standing up for meself?" Seamus finally said, shrugging helplessly. "There's only one of me, and there's always a lot of them. I couldn't even try to take them all on, alone."

"I guess I see your point," said Harry, finally. They continued walking in the general direction of the lake.

"Are we done?" asked Seamus, finally. He looked eager to remove himself from the awkward silence that had befallen them once again.

"Actually, I had something else to ask you," said Harry, softly. "Do you… do you remember our plans to discover the spy in Gryffindor?"

Seamus grimaced. "That agreement with that slimy Malfoy? How could I forget?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Harry admitted. "I've come up with a plan that could help us discover how much information is flowing from our tower to the Slytherin dungeon, and that should help us find out who's supplying it."

"And you need my help," said Seamus, not so much asking a question as stating fact.

"I would really appreciate it," replied Harry, nodding. "The more people working on this, the easier it will be, and, theoretically, the faster the results." Harry's expression turned more serious. "I know that I'm asking a lot of you. I'm sure the last thing you want is to hang around me, after all that happened. I wouldn't ask if this wasn't so important." Harry looked imploringly into the Irish boy's eyes.

Seamus immediately looked away, unable to handle Harry's gaze. A minute or two of silence passed. "I'll do it," said Seamus, finally.

"Really?" asked Harry, both surprised and pleased.

Seamus nodded. "When I first agreed to this, when we were meeting with Malfoy, I meant what I said. Those Slytherins have a lot to answer for."

"Thanks, Seamus," said Harry, truly grateful. "They really do have a lot to answer for, not the least of which is causing all these problems in Gryffindor.. And between us."

Seamus shifted his feet uncomfortably.

It was then that Harry blurted out his earlier thoughts, without considering whether he had any right to be voicing them or coaching his thoughts into words that wouldn't embarrass him.

"I miss the old Seamus," said Harry, quickly, lest the sandy-haired boy leave before he had a chance to speak. Seamus looked at Harry with an unreadable look. "You used to be so carefree, always with a ready grin and a joke that usually had us shaking our heads. What happened to him?"

"I think he was left behind when I got pulled out of the closet," said Seamus, simply. "It's hard to be carefree when you have to worry about people hating you for being a poof, when you have to worry about somebody you care about putting himself in harm's way." The Irish boy's look turned sad. "And when you get the taste of something you get the feeling you were never meant to have, when you experience emotions you should know all too well that you were never meant to experience…"

Harry was shocked to hear Seamus's implication. "What do you mean by that, Seamus?" asked Harry, incredulously.

"It's like this, Harry. A man is born in a dimly lit room. He lives his entire life there, happy in his life because he doesn't know any differently. And then, suddenly, bright light comes from a nearby room, and he looks in. And what he finds is brilliant light, so bright that it hurts his eyes at first. But in this light he sees life more clearly, more fully than he ever could before. So when he's pushed back into the dimly lit room, without knowing whether he'll ever return to the brightly lit room, he realizes that dimness just isn't good enough, anymore." Seamus looked at Harry, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Seamus," said Harry, anguish heavy in his voice, guilt clearly etched in his features. He reached out towards Seamus, but the Irish boy shied away.

"I can't.. Harry.. I can't deal with this right now," said Seamus, backing away. "Please just tell me how I can help with your plan, later.. I can't do this… right now…" Seamus turned away and rushed off towards the castle, its twinkling lights seemingly beckoning to him.

Harry sighed. He had found out what he had needed to, but his primary goal, trying to coax Seamus out of his funk, had failed miserably. His appetite suddenly gone, Harry continued walking towards the lake, heading towards his usual place.

It was there, several hours later, that Draco Malfoy found him. As the Slytherin approached, Harry was standing under the birch tree, looking out over the water. The blonde boy silently put his hand on Harry's shoulder, his actions strangely almost gentle. The green-eyed boy quickly jerked away from the hand, then he looked behind him to discover its owner.

"Malfoy," said Harry, neutrally.

"Potter," replied Malfoy in a similar tone. "You seem a bit jumpy tonight."

"I've a lot on my mind," said Harry, shortly. "You'll pardon me if I don't feel like sharing."

"Fine by me," said Malfoy, shrugging. "I didn't come here because I'm desperate for your company." He had a sneer on his face by the time he had finished. "Let's get to business, then. You said you had a way to discover who the mole was." The two had bumped shoulders in the Charms corridor that day, and Harry had quickly asked Malfoy to meet him by the lake that night, in between shouted insults that brought into question Harry's upbringing and the possible inbreeding in the Malfoy family.

"I did," said Harry, nodding. He gestured towards the birch tree, and the two of them sat under it, with a rather significant space between the two of them. "Follow my reasoning, if you will. Whoever informed Blaise, Pansy, and Nott about my preference for blokes obviously had to have heard it the previous night, when it came out during Truth or Dare."

"You were playing Truth or Dare?" asked Malfoy, scornfully. "What, are you all a bunch of first-years?"

"I doubt first years would have understood half the things that were said and done during our game," replied Harry, drily. "And it was Seamus's idea. He wanted to give me a chance to relax, and he was trying to get to know me better."

"I'll bet he was," said the blonde-haired Slytherin, his eyebrow raised. Strangely enough, Harry could have sworn that he could detect the slightest bit of jealousy in his tone.

"At any rate," continued Harry, "I told them about how my first kiss was with Cedric Diggory, and that I was gay."

"Hold on a second," Malfoy interrupted. "You were with Diggory?"

"Sorta," said Harry, wincing as he realised he had inadvertently given Malfoy some ammunition. Then a thought struck him. "Why is it that you haven't heard this already? I figured the spy had spilled the whole story."

"I haven't heard anything about it, Potter, and if Pansy hasn't used it by now, she hasn't heard it either. That's interesting," mused Malfoy. "I mean, that's just the sort of hurtful thing that could've actually done some damage," continued Malfoy, speculatively. He caught Harry eyeing him with a look betraying his surprise and a fair amount of anger as well. "I'm just thinking out loud," Malfoy said hastily.

Harry looked at the other boy, dubiously at first, before his face turned contemplative as well. "You've a good point, though," said Harry. "It could be that our Death Eater spy has an agenda of their own."

"Or that he or she isn't a Death Eater spy at all, just somebody with an agenda," countered Malfoy.

"What kind of agenda would a Gryffindor have, that would hurt both Seamus and me?" asked Harry, a tad sceptically.

"We're just dealing with possibilities here, Potter," said Malfoy, shrugging. "And I'd say there's a fair chance this might be the case. Much more plausible than a sudden appearance of a Death Eater spy in Gryffindork House. But if we are dealing with a Death Eater spy, let's hear this plan of yours to flush them out."

Harry nodded briefly, before getting to the crux of the plan. "My plan is this, Malfoy: I and several other Gryffindors will spread certain bits of juicy information that could be used against us, or at least passed on. They'll be mainly false, with just a bit of truth to make them believable. And your job would be to find out what is being passed on, and what isn't. We'll keep track of who hears what bit of information." Harry finished and leaned back against the tree trunk.

"And the one person that's heard all the leaked information is the guilty party?" asked Malfoy. Harry nodded. "That's… a really stupid plan, Potter. Really, really brainless. Do you realize how dependent that is, on your housemates not repeating your false information to the point where your entire house knows about it?"

"Well, do you have a better idea, Malfoy?" Harry shot back. "You're so eager to cut down my idea, but you're the one that asked me to come up with something since you couldn't, yourself."

Malfoy snickered. "So defensive there, Potter. And I didn't say your plan was completely worthless. Just… very hit and miss. I think we can refine it quite a bit."

"And how is that?" asked Harry, testily.

"Don't bother with random titbits of information, passed along to random housemates," said Malfoy. "Concentrate on your three main suspects. Weasley, Thomas, and Longbottom? Have your people give them those seemingly valuable bits of information, and give them the impression that you don't want these items spread around."

"That might work," begrudged Harry.

"You'll have to come up with the ways you're going to give those three the information, though," said Malfoy. "I don't care enough about your Gryffindor social dynamics. It's too bad that you split up with the Mick; he would've been useful spreading the false information to Thomas."

"Actually," said Harry, slowly, "Seamus still wants to help me…"

"After what you did to him?" asked Malfoy, incredulously. "I'm surprised he's still speaking to you!"

"You know, Malfoy, for somebody who claims not to care about Gryffindor social dynamics, you sure know a lot about Seamus' and my relationship," said Harry, putting aside his emotions in an effort to put Malfoy on the defensive.

The effort worked. "I don't care!" exclaimed Malfoy, backpedalling. He attempted a sneer, but it looked a tad sickly to Harry. "I was just remarking about what I could see of things. While we're allied for our ouster of Pansy and Blaise, I figured I should at least keep an eye on things that could affect that. And it just seemed obvious to me, even though I wasn't making a special effort to notice the intricacies," Malfoy finished, emphasizing the last phrase. "It looked to me like the two of you created a fake relationship to fool people, but one of you was foolish enough to actually fall in love with the other. Stupid Mick," Malfoy muttered.

"Stop calling Seamus a Mick," yelled Harry. Then his shoulders slumped. "It really was that obvious, then?" he asked.

"It wasn't," said Malfoy, surprising himself with the speed at which he was trying to reassure Potter. Well, that and the fact that he actually was trying to reassure him. "Like I said, I guess I was giving it some attention lest it hurt our chances at regaining my power and finding your spy."

"Moot point now, though," Harry said, shaking his head. "Well, if you don't mind- well, actually even if you do mind, I'm still heading back to the castle. I still have homework to do, and I really don't care to spend any more time with you than I have to."

"The feeling's mutual, Potter," Malfoy retorted, scowling. "Make sure you actually have something to report before we meet again. It's not easy sneaking out of Slytherin House when most of the House seems to think you're up to something." Malfoy added wryly, "And if you're a Slytherin, you usually are up to something."

"I'll see what I can do," Harry said. "And you have to keep your ears open, too. This isn't just my deal; it's ours."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Malfoy grumbled.

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A/N: So, let me know either way. If not, thanks for reading! It's been a fun journey!!

Squall Thrawn