Wow… I have 70 reviews! And it's only been ten chapters! My other crack fic has 81, and it has twenty two chapters! OMG, I LOVE YOU ALL!
The Desperado- You get to do what you do best in here… (gets perverted mental images)
Red Mage 04- Just one ghost… and I thought that would explain why Daxter looks up, and then grins evilly at the end… and here's the "hell to pay," as you so accurately put it.
Cursed Avenger1-Don't worry about the drawers block!
GoodMorningBeautiful2005- I'll check that document as soon as possible!
Meowen- Heh… Aren't they great?
Afeenaninganing- Well… I wouldn't do anything as drastic as that… and you'll hug me to death after this chapter.
LunarSquirrel- Don't worry, you won't get roasted… yet.
Silver Horror- Funny funny Daxter. The truth is out!
Jaklover123- Well… it was Samos because you could reason that everyone would want to get him. I mean, think about it! Jak and Daxter- he's a grumpy old man. Keira- she wants to prank her father. Torn- because… he gave him a lot of annoying orders? Ashelin- maybe he criticized her! Tess- just random thoughts, and all the rest of them, because they wanted to. And I guess they made a voodoo doll model of his apartment/house.
BlackRatchet- Well, I updated. Is this okay?
Farr2rich- Is that referring to me being a woman? I'm taking it as a compliment!
And everyone, this is my first flamer. EVERYONE READ THE REPLY I GIVE HIM/HER! (but first read the flame, otherwise it won't make sense)
Like I'd tell you- I can see why you'd not tell me your name; you just pissed me off. And sent me straight into a mood of depression. I appreciate constructive criticism, but unless you know how to write a crack fic, I suggest you keep your ideas on how to to yourself. A crack fic isn't supposed to have a plot. And a crack fic is supposed to entertain the readers. Since my reviewers and the ones who put this story on their favorites list are the only ones who show the definitively care about this story, I write something that appeals to them. They all tell me they love the story, and since most of them have more than recently chatted/contacted me in some way, I'm more inclined to believe them. Thank you for telling me you hated this story.
Wow… I wrote four pages of story this time! And with all the review comments and author's note, it's a total of SEVEN PAGES!
11. AH! ERROL! WHAT THE HELL?
"Okay peoples," Liz said to the assembled audience(which, coincidentally, contained Damas, Kleiver, Pecker, Onin, Sig, and Kleiver's little sidekick, Veger). "Jak and his crazy compadres, also known as the Governor, her boyfriend, two annoying ottsels, Jak's girlfriend, two more annoying ottsels, and various assorted random Mary Sues-"
"Self-inserts!" interjected Andrea.
"-and Marty Stues," Liz went on blithely, "have emotionally damaged your acquaintance, Samos the green eco sage."
By this time, everyone except the Mary Sues and Marty Stues- ahem, SELF INSERTS- were asleep. Andrea sighed.
"They made him jump on plants."
Chirp. Chiiiiiiiiirp.
"Ummm… they destroyed beer!"
"WHAT THE HELL!" they all yelled in unison, as they bolted upright.
"So..." Damas said slowly. "What exactly are we doing?"
"…we don't know yet." Sig said, and turned into a gloomy looking llama.
A lightbulb popped on over Liz's head. "I know!" she yelled.
"What?" asked Pecker.
"We're Mary Sues and Marty Stues, right?" Liz said, grinning evilly.
"Yes…" said all the game characters.
"No…" said all the self inserts (cough MARY SUES AND MARTY STUES cough).
Liz ignored them. "Well then. Let's just tie them up, and somehow get a bunch of fangirls and fanboys! That should terrify them enough."
"You can just leave Desperado with the girls," observed a voice from behind them all.
Everyone spun around, except for Andrea, who was snoring on Liz's shoulder. A white glowing person was floating a foot above the ground.
"Hey!" Cir said. "It's Errol!" And indeed it was.
Errol blinked. "Yeah, so?" he said, sounding annoyed.
Pecker gaped at him. Onin had a similar expression, except she was gaping at the wall to the left of Errol.
"You're DEAD!" Veger said faintly, and fainted. He is such a coward. EVERYONE SPIT ON VEGER! (Is seen at the head of a crowd of Jak fangirls and Veger bashers, all of whom want to kill Veger)
Errol blinked again.
"Hi Captain Obvious!" Liz said cheerfully, and waved to the unconscious form of Veger.
Okay. Now everyone blinked.
"Right…" Errol said.
"Hey! Person I don't know! If you're dead, why are you walking around looking like a ghost?" Damas asked. He seems kinda… clueless, doesn't he?
Errol rolled his eyes. "I am a ghost, you idiotic fucking bastardic(1) son of a bitch!"
(That was fun to type!)
"But you're dead!" Pecker yelled, for once completely out of it.
"…and why wouldn't I be?" Errol said, a little confused. Liz kicked Pecker.
"You're here to try to kill Jak, right?" she asked.
"Yeah," he replied diffidently. "The boss wants him down wi' the rest of us."
" 'The boss'?" asked Kleiver.
"The Devil!" Liz and Errol snapped in unison at him. Sig hiccupped and turned into a llama.
"Okay then… why does he want Jak 'down there'?" the fat mechanic continued.
"Because Jak would make a good right hand person, or so he says," Errol replied, and yawned with the bored air of one who really doesn't give a damn.
The llama's eyes glazed over as it considered this new possibility. Actually, everyone's eyes did, not just the llama's.
"So… you're here to bug Jak to death?" Liz correctly summarized.
"Yep," he said.
"Well… in that case…" Liz said as she got an evil grin on her face.
It was very, very late at the Naughty Ottsel. Everyone was either drunk or asleep.
A bunch of dark shapes slowly came in through the front door. A creak split the silence.
"Shut up!" hissed Andrea to the unfortunate Cir. "Or else… Jak will wake up!" That, of course, terrified Cir. He squeaked and jumped ten feet in the air.
The entire group was stupidly attired in black. They were also acting like ninjas.
Damas jumped, and landed doing a stupid ninja move. Andrea rolled her eyes. So did everyone else.
"Whatever," grumbled Errol. He had managed to make himself look more like grey-ish smoke than white-ish smoke.
So… they all tied up everyone… except they kept waking up. So, eventually, they just decided to knock everybody out. This, of course, caused a huge problem, as everyone kept ripping over the unconscious peoples laying on the ground.
After a long long time, which was in reality only ten minutes, they had everyone on Jak's team in separate rooms/places of the Naughty Ottsel, they stopped to rest a bit.
"Can we just kill Tron?" Andrea said. "Hey, I just said his name wrong!" And then a minute later, "Hey! That'll annoy him! Tron, Tron, Tron, Tron…"
And them came the inevitable:
"Who's Tron?" asked Damas.
Everyone(except Errol, who could only try and not succeed) proceeded to bang their heads against the wall.
Jak groaned. "Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhh," he said. He thought that either he'd become very drunk, and this was the result, or that he'd fallen down the stairs again.
Actually, he fell down the stairs again. Samos' team didn't have to knock him out.
"Well, well, the eco freak wakes up again," a nastily familiar voice said.
Jak opened one eye and glared at Errol. "I killed you. Twice. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!"
"Well, right now I'm here to bug you to death while you proceed to get mauled by fangirls," Errol said coolly.
"He's not dead- I mean alive," a squeaky voice said. "He's just a little ghost walking around to drag you into hell."
"That's oh so comforting," Jak snapped at the squeaky voice, which turned out to be Andrea.
"Alright, he's awake!" she yelled through the door. "Bring in the fangirls!"
What were these fangirls everyone was talking about?
And then…
"OMIGOD!" squealed about a hundred high-pitched voices. The sound of a stampede echoed through the hall.
And then…
Through the door came the LARGEST, SCARIEST, most HIDIOUSLY TERRIFYING sight you could ever imagine.
It was a horde of screaming fangirls.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came the agonized shriek.
Unfortunately for the others, everyone else on Jak's team(except for the Mary Sues), they all found themselves in similar predicaments. The only ones who enjoyed it even remotely was Daxter and Jynx; however, their opinions changed very quickly when the fangirls began to, er, take liberties with the two. Namely- well, I'm not going to tell you, but you can certainly get your minds out of the gutter.
Tess had a bunch of screaming fanottsels(boys, fortunately) who all drooled over her.
Torn was able to appreciate how normal Ashelin was.
Razor missed his little Mary Sue girlfriend(coughEmicough).
And Ashelin and Keira were tied up in a room with Desperado on the loose…
And as for the Mary Sues?
"I've really got to pee," the chicken said.
Grus whimpered. "I want coffee!"
They were all somehow stuck to the roof; more precisely, the sign of the ottsel.
And thus, Samos' team got revenge for Jak's team destroying beer- ahem, mentally disturbing Samos.
A/n- I think this was posted sooner… I'm not sure.
(1)- I'm not sure if this is even a word, but oh well, it was fun to write!
Yes, I had some major no-no words in there. But this is Errol. And I spell his name with two 'r's because it looks cooler.
I was listening to Greenday's "Minority" this time; "Down with the moral majority!" Yeah!
Can you tell I'm getting stupider and stupider?
JAK X CAME OUT TODAY!
I have not played it yet, because my friend got grounded and can't play. She is also known as the ottsel Andrea. And my musey. But she is still my friend, so don't worry!
Plus, a couple days ago I got mobbed by the goth table… I drew a picture of Greenday anime style, and (rather stupidly) showed it to my friend… who is a goth… and we were by the goth table. I made fifteen copies, and I have three left over.
-animedragongirl
