Chapter 11
The Best Friend Ever
Ichigo took a deep breath. It was a busy evening, and only she and Lettuce were working. Berry and Zakuro weren't scheduled to work that evening, and Pudding had called in sick. Minto generally never showed up any more unless she thought Zakuro would be there; but she never did any work anyway, so she wasn't missed much. They had called Ringo, and then Berry, but neither could come. And so they finally had called Zakuro, and surprisingly, she had said she would come; but she wasn't in yet. So Ichigo and Lettuce were running their legs off.
And the front door was opening again. More business, Ichigo thought, and she took a step toward the front of the room. And then she stopped.
It was Fate that came in. Her hair was hanging limp, in strings, like yellow straw. Her face was more than pale; it was gray. And her eyes were red: so red were they that Ichigo could hardly tell what should have been the whites of her eyes from the parts that should have been red. Like a walking dead person she advanced across the room. She took one glance at Ichigo, but did not stop. She just turned her eyes to the floor at her feet and kept on trudging. She reached the door at the back of the room, the door to the kitchen, and passed through it.
Lettuce had also seen the zombie-like apparition that had passed through the room with death in her train. She looked at her red-haired companion in askance, and Ichigo nodded. Then she took a few steps toward the green-haired waitress. "I'll have to take care of this, I think," she muttered. "I'm sorry to leave you with this mess out here."
But Lettuce, being Lettuce, simply nodded. She would somehow carry the waitressing load. So Icihgo turned and hurried out of the dining room, passing through the double doors into the kitchen.
There was Fate, leaning against the wall, gasping and sobbing. Ichigo ran to the blonde girl, took her shoulders, and turned her from the wall. She looked into those red eyes and saw there… nothing. And she recalled Zakuro's words: "…the most awful, saddest… emptiness I could ever imagine." And her heart broke, and as pity welled up inside of her, she drew the blonde girl to herself, and held her tightly. Fate collapsed there in her arms, her body shaking, her breaths coming in painful gasps.
Ichigo held her for a long time, her cheek pressed against the girl's blonde head. She wanted to say something, but she had no clue of what to say. So she just held poor Fate tightly, and let her cry. And she cried long.
Yet finally, the sobs subsided, and Ichigo was able to loosen her hold on the poor girl. And then she asked, just above a whisper: "Fate-o, what… happened?"
And the tears started flowing again. Fate pulled Ichigo tightly against herself again, and sobbed some more. And yet, she finally, weakly gasped out a few words. "Nanoha… hates… me."
Ichigo did not know what to say. She knew that poor, lonely Fate desperately loved that Nanoha. But Nanoha had also loved Fate, Ichigo thought. She had to understand why Fate would say such a thing. She knew that she was treading far into places that were none of her business, but Ichigo had long since caring about things like that; she walked wherever she would, now. And so she whispered again, "She… hates you? Did she say… why?"
There were many seconds without words, and the only sound was Fate's painful gasping. But then she pushed herself slightly away from Ichigo, and moaned: "She threw me out of her house, screamed at me, because… because I kissed you."
Ichigo gasped in turn. "You… told her? Oh, Fate-o, why would you tell her?"
The blonde girl's tears redoubled, and Ichigo had to hold her for another long time. But finally Fate groaned, "Because… because I wanted her to like you, so we could be friends together…"
"Friends?" Ichigo responded. "Fate-o, you and I are… friends. You and Nanoha… are lovers. And that means all kinds of extra things, things like jealousy and lovers' quarrels. Don't you see that?"
But Fate just buried her face back into Ichigo's left shoulder and sobbed all the more loudly. And Ichigo just held tightly to the gasping, shaking girl. She wanted to say something, but did not know what to say. So she just held her long, and stroked the hair on her head, and tried to comfort her as best as she could.
And she thought, long and hard. Poor Fate had no place to go. She was not from Earth, had no family to go home to. She was far too young to legally rent her own place. If she tried, she would fall into the hands of Child Protective Services. And she could not identify herself to them – whatever identification she had wouldn't be Japanese, to be sure. And Ichigo could not take her home; she could not do so without explaining to her parents just who she was. And that would require a whole lot more lying than Ichigo would ever want to do. And even then, it would be a very temporary situation. She had no idea what she should do; so she just held the sobbing Fate tightly to herself.
And then the door to the kitchen opened, and someone came through: Zakuro had finally come in. She stepped up quite quickly and stood behind Fate, staring over the broken girl's shoulder into Ichigo's eyes. Yet finally, she had to speak; and she did so quietly. "Ichigo, what happened?"
Fate released her tight grip on Ichigo and turned her head. Fear shot through her red eyes when she saw Zakuro. And she gasped once more, this time nearly in terror. Zakuro was the one that had healed her, of course. But for a reason she could not understand, Fate feared her, feared her as someone with a power she could not begin to grasp. She slid around Ichigo, trying to keep the red-haired girl between herself and the dark-haired idol. But she still held Ichigo tightly.
And Ichigo turned slightly, so she could turn her face to Zakuro. She took a deep breath before she said anything. No matter what she said, it would come out wrong; but she had to say it. "Fate-o says that her Nanoha… hates her now."
Zakuro was silent for a second, and then said, still softly, "Why?"
Fate glanced at Zakuro for a second before again bursting into tears and burying her face in Ichigo's shoulder. So Ichigo again had to answer: "She says she told Nanoha… that she kissed me."
In silence Zakuro bowed her head, and shook it for many seconds. Then she looked up, and muttered the next question: "Why in heaven's name, or hell's, or anywhere else's, would you do that?"
Fate just sobbed even louder, and once again Ichigo had to answer: "I guess she wanted us all to be together… you know…"
"A threesome?" Zakuro's distaste for that was obvious. "I thought you said that you weren't interested, Ichigo."
"I'm not," Ichigo answered. "But Fate-o…"
Then there was more silence, until finally Fate raised her red face and teary eyes from Ichigo's shoulder. In pain she stared at Zakuro, and said, "I love them both, and I couldn't live with them being enemies, with them fighting…" More tears poured out. "If they don't become friends, I'm sure… one of them… will kill the other. Don't you see?"
But Zakuro shook her head. "If you hadn't told this Nanoha, she may never have found Ichigo. There didn't have to be killing, or even fighting, any more."
But Fate still shook her head. "It's like it was with Nanoha, Nanoha and me, we both wanted the jewel seeds, we kept competing, and fighting… until we fought to the finish. I was beaten, I would have died, but she saved me, because she wanted to love me. That love… stopped the fighting between us." She sobbed a few more times. "If Ichigo and Nanoha can't be friends, then they'll always be enemies. And that would mean I'd have to stay away from Ichigo! I couldn't do that, she's my friend, I love her, don't you see?'
Zakuro still shook her head. "If you really loved Ichigo, you'd have left her alone. That would have protected her from this Nanoha. That's what would be best for her. Isn't that what love would do?"
Fate, her mouth hanging open, gasped several more times, but said no words. She just collapsed again in Ichigo's arms, and began sobbing again. Zakuro stepped up and reached out to touch her, to try to comfort her; but when Zakuro's fingers touched Fate's shoulder, the blonde girl pulled away abruptly. She just held on to Ichigo, and kept sobbing.
Zakuro was silent for many seconds, and then she spoke in a louder voice. "I suppose… you're right," she muttered. "Now that your Nanoha knows where to find Ichigo, there's little doubt that she'll be coming here – with death on her mind. And if Ichigo – and the rest of us – can somehow survive that, I suppose that the rest of that infernal Bureau of yours won't just let us alone. We're kind of doomed, now, I guess." Her voice trailed off.
And then Fate spoke, and for the first time all evening, she spoke without sobbing. "I would never let anyone hurt Ichigo that way. I will… protect her!"
Zakuro stared into the blonde girl's red eyes. "Really? You would fight your Nanoha to protect Ichigo?"
Fate finally released her grip and turned fully to Zakuro. "I didn't say I would fight her! But… I would protect Ichigo. I have defensive powers, you know, magic screens and all of that," she said.
"And if your screens fail, and you fall before this Nanoha's attack…" Zakuro began.
But Fate interrupted her. "Nonoha would never hurt me like that!"
But Zakuro slowly shook her head. "She hurt you pretty horribly today," she said softly.
Fate gasped, and the tears began flowing again. "No! She would never hurt me… like that," she said, her voice rising. "Nanoha loves me!"
Zakuro looked down for a short time and then looked up again and stared into Fate's eyes. "You told Ichigo… that she hated you. But… I suppose both are true, now. If she had no real love for you, she would not hate you like you said she does." She turned away from the sobbing girl. "So... which is stronger, I wonder. Her love – or her hate?" She turned back to Fate and awaited her answer.
Fate did not answer that question. But through her sobs, she said with gritted teeth: "I will never… let her destroy Ichigo. Not her, not the Bureau."
Then there was silence, a silence that was long. And then the silence was broken, suddenly and harshly, but the ringtone of Fate's phone. Fate hesitated at first, and then took the phone and looked at it. She stared at it long, and the said, "It's… Nanoha."
And Zakuro was silent; but Ichigo said, "Answer it! Now! Don't let it go to voicemail! Hurry!"
And Fate glanced at her, sighed… and answered the call.
"Fate-o here," she said with a trembling voice.
She listened long before she could get a few words in. Finally she said, "You didn't have to worry… like that! I'm OK," she lied.
The conversation went on for several more minutes, with Fate listening much and speaking very little. But finally Fate lowered the phone. The call was over. She looked at the floor as she spoke. "Nanoha… wants me to come home."
Zakuro was again silent; so Ichigo spoke. "You have to go," she said, quietly buy strongly. "You have nowhere else to go, and… you have to work this thing out, one way or the other."
Fate looked into Ichigo's dark eyes, but said nothing. But then Zakuro said, "You know – this meeting could be the end between you and… Nanoha."
Fate stared at the floor again. And her voice was tiny when she spoke a single word: "Yeah." And tears dripped down her face again.
Ichigo once more embraced the sobbing girl, and whispered, "But you still have to go."
Again the single word escaped Fate's lips: "Yeah."
Ichigo held her for many seconds, stroking her hair, and then said, "I would go with you, but… you know that I have to keep as far away from… Nanoha… as I can. You know that."
Once more, a single word came from Fate: "Yeah."
And Ichigo said, "I'll take you out the back door. You won't have to walk through the public dining room, not when you're like this." And with her arm still around Fate's slumped shoulders, she helped her toward the door.
But then Fate stopped, and turned her head to Ichigo, and said more than one word. "Ichigo, you're… the best friend anybody ever had."
And Ichigo said nothing, but instead hugged Fate even more tightly, and then she took her through the kitchen's back door.
And Zakuro stood long in the heavy silence, and tears flowed down her cheeks and dripped onto the floor.
