Me: So, I'm working on Fanfiction Meets Youtube along with this...

Fang: She's overwhelming herself...

Me: I am not! Just having trouble keeping up a Twitter conversation while writing both of these...

Fang: -cough- Overwhelmed -cough-

Me: -throws Fang a cough drop-

Fang: AHH!! CHRISSY!! -faints-

Me: All my fellow Tweet Whores should get that inside joke...


Fang's POV

"Ella, can I please use the computer for a minute?"

"I'm busy!"

My laptop had picked today as an awesome day to just crash and burn, leaving me with no other choice but to share the family computer while Dr. Martinez took mine to get fixed. And the rest of the family wasn't that into sharing.

"Ella!!"

"In a minute, Fang! Jeez!"

I sighed, leaning up against the wall outside Dr. M's office/computer room. I heard the phone ring somewhere in the house, but ignored it, letting Max or Iggy pick it up. This 'waiting' thing was so frustrating...Plus, I'd stayed up half the night trying to get my laptop to work, so I guess I was a bit crabby. Heck, Max said I got absolutely paranoid when I was overtired, but I didn't know what she was talking about. She was probably trying to sneakily hint something at me, and I'm sure I'd figure out what she was hiding, eventually...

"Yo, Ella! It's that Laura girl from school on the phone!" Max yelled across the house.

This was it. My one chance. I quickly blended into the wall behind me as Ella exited the room and ran down the hall to get the phone. As soon as she was gone, I ducked into the computer room, locking the door behind me.

I plopped myself down in front of the computer...

...And nearly went into shock.

In the first tab, Ella had a site open with the heading, 'How to Get Pregnant.' I scanned through the article. It explained how to know when you were most fertile, when to 'do it' and some more disgusting things I won't even go into detail about.

I noticed some other tabs open and started clicking on those.

The next one explained how guys can get healthy.....Errr....What's a good synonym for this? Mobile Reproductive Cells? Yeah, that'll work.

The next tab was probably the most disturbing. 'How to Have Sex.' You mean they have a website on this? And why was Ella looking it up?

I started reading through the three sites, trying to figure out what Ella was up to. And the conclusion I was coming to wasn't a very good one.

I'd heard about girls in high school who get this crazy idea that they aren't loved enough so they have a baby in order to have something that'll love them. Then, there are the girls who try to have a baby so that their boyfriends won't break up with them.

Now I was worried. Was Ella trying to do what I think she was trying to do? And....With who?

I mean, she and Iggy had sort of an 'almost relationship'. They weren't official, but there was definetely something going on. And if Iggy would stop flirting with every female in sight, maybe there would be.

Was Ella trying to get hold of Iggy in a way he'd never be able to get out of?

That's when I thought about the second tab. The one about the healthy 'Mobile Reproductive Cells'. Why would she be looking that up unless....

Iggy was in on this.

You know, I had been going for this whole idea that she thought she was going to seduce Iggy into....'doing it' and Iggy would tell her no and talk her out of this stupidity, then we could book Ella for some meetings with a therapist and everything would be fine. But if Iggy was going along with this...

Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I jumped up from the computer and slipped out of the room, blending in with the wall behind me just in time as Ella walked right by me and went back into the computer room.

I, in the meantime, started down towards our room to confront Iggy.

I stormed into the bedroom where Iggy was acting all innocent, sitting there probably working on a bomb or something, like nothing was going on. Who did he think he was fooling?

"You." I growled.

"Hey, Fang, what's up?" Iggy said, not even looking up from his bomb. That little rat...

"Look, Iggy, I know what you're up to, and I just want to let you know that it's the stupidest idea I've ever heard of in my entire life, and if you go along with it, I'll have lost all respect for you! Iggy, I knew you could stoop low, but never this low! Taking advantage of someone like that and trying to have, have one of those! You sick, sick freak!"

Iggy had froze where he was, then slowly placed his tools down. "Alright, Fang, you're freaking your buddy out here..."

"You should be freaked!" I shot back! "Just wait 'till Max finds out!"

"Fang..." Iggy said warily. Ha, he knew I'd caught on! "I know Dr. Martinez has some good drugs lying around this house, but that doesn't mean you should be testing them..."

"Oh, fine!" I snapped back at him. "Play stupid! It won't last for long!" I raced out of the room, not wanting to hear any more of his lies. I'd heard enough.

I went down to the living room, planning on finding Max and telling her what I'd found out. To my pleasant surprise, Ella was in the living room talking to Max. Perfect. As I approached the two of them, I heard Iggy coming up behind me. Doubly perfect.

"Max, I need to talk to you."

"Don't listen to him, Max!" Iggy called from behind me. "I have a feeling Fang's partaken of illegal substances. You might want to find him a straight jacket."

I spun around. "Shut up, you sick, perverted spawn of Satan!"

I turned back to Max, who looked both freaked out and exhasperated all at once. "Fang, what now?"

"Iggy and Ella!" I said, pointing to the both of them.

Max just raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah..."

"Max, can't you see?" Ella said. "Fang's trying to be a weathervane!" She imitated my pointing.

I dropped my arms. "Max, they're...Up to something..."

Iggy, who had come to stand next to me, nodded. "Yep, Max, we're both up to something. I'm up to about 7'2" and I'd guess Ella's up to about 5'7"."

I gave Iggy a glare that was lost on him. "Stop trying to change the subject! You can't keep this a secret any longer!"

Max had turned to Iggy. "Iggy, what's going on?"

Iggy sighed dramatically. "Max, I cannot tell a lie. You're beloved Fang is on drugs."

I would've punched him if Max hadn't grabbed my arm. "Iggy, be serious." She told him.

Iggy just shrugged. "Seriously, I haven't the slightest clue."

"He's lying!" I told her. "I have proof!"

Max crossed her arms. "Alright, Fang, let's hear this 'proof'."

"I went in to use the computer while Ella was on the phone and she had all these....Like, pregnancy sites up! Like, 'How to Get Pregnant' and 'How to Have Sex' and 'How to....Well....For guys to keep....Stuff healthy! So I figured out that they were planning to- to....Ella! Why are you laughing?! This isn't funny!"

Ella had been cracking up from where she stood next to Max. Poor girl, she had probably finally lost it. She took a deep breath and got control of herself for a moment. "You're right, Fang. It's not funny and I should appreciate your concern. But I doubt a little Health class project is going to inspire me to give birth to Iggy's spawn."

...

"So...You were working on a Health class project..."

"Yep."

"And Iggy had nothing to do with it..."

"Nope." Iggy said.

"And you don't want to have his kids..."

"Not anytime soon." Ella said, giving Iggy a pointed look.

"...And I'm just overtired and paranoid."

"That about sums it up." Max said.

I just stood there for about thirty seconds, defeated.

"...I'm going to bed."

Max gave me a pat on the shoulder. "It's ok, Fangles, maybe next time you'll catch the real bad guy..."

I just glared at her and walked back down the hall.

As I was walking away, I heard Iggy call to me from behind. "Hey, Fang, guess what? Ella and I have decided to name our firstborn son after his crazy Uncle Fang!"

"I'm flipping you off, Iggy." I called back, and did just what I told him that I was doing.

God, I hate my life sometimes.


Me: -laugh hysterically-

Fang: I don't get that paranoid when I'm overtired!

Me: Pretty close...

Fang: No way.

Me: You accused my dog of being an alien.

Fang: That was just the one time...

Me: You accused my cat of being a spy.

Fang: Now that was a-

Me: You accused Mr. Hardy of hiding the door to Narnia in his beard.

Fang: ...Touche.

Me: Thought so.

R&R?

And an early Happy Birthday to a reviewer named 'too hyper for sugar'! -gives cake- No, this one's not over yet! :D