First, let me say I am sorry that this chapter took so long to get out to you. I have been going through a lot of stuff lately, including having my old laptop die and getting a slightly newer one that didn't want to install or recognize the software I use for writing.
Second, the usual disclaimer, I do not own or claim to own the characters, I only play with them for my own amusement.
Chapter 11
Alice was looking at her as if she wished she could read the slayer's mind, while Buffy was just waiting for the vampire to answer, and wondering why the woman didn't just tell her, it couldn't be that big a deal, could it?
She watched the brunette lick her lips and take several deep breaths that Buffy knew the woman didn't actually need.
Maybe it was that big a deal after all.
She just wished Alice would get it out and over with.
"You know I was reading these history books looking for something that might give you an edge, against Edward. Well there's a story, an account, of a human who was killing vampires, not a slayer, but he had a lot of the same strengths you do".
Alice looked up at her, biting her lip again, maybe trying to feel out how Buffy was taking what she had said.
Buffy nodded, so far she was following.
"Go on" she prompted the vampire.
"The Voltouri sent one of their men to kill the hunter, and they sent another to bring back an account of the fight, just in case their man didn't return. They sent one of their best soldiers to kill the hunter, Tomas, his name was. And they sent a scribe named Roland to watch".
Alice made a face, perhaps about what she had to say next, Buffy wondered what was really bothering the brunette, because so far she hadn't heard anything that should make this so hard for Alice to tell her.
"Tomas was cruel, and arrogant, he decided to let the hunter suffer before he died. He bit the hunter, was going to let the poison do the job for him, but something happened".
Here Alice stopped, biting her lip and twisting her fingers together anxiously.
"Alice, please just tell me" the blonde muttered.
Alice took a deep breath "You aren't going to like it".
The vampire bites her lip again and then says words that take an agonizingly long time to sink in, and turn her world upside down.
"The venom didn't kill the hunter, it made him stronger, faster, enough so that he killed Tomas before he even realized that the man wasn't actually dead".
For long moments Buffy couldn't move, couldn't even think of what she should do or say, and then reality snapped back into place like a rubber band against her wrist and she jumped up from the bed and headed into the bathroom without a word.
She knew Alice was probably freaking out over her weird reaction to what sounded like it could be the solution to their problems, but Buffy just really needed to not be looking at the vampire right now.
She needed time to process this, time to think of questions, because there should be questions when something was this big.
Buffy thought she might just be losing it.
Her girlfriend/mate, had just suggested giving her poison to help her survive a fight.
It was the opposite of logical, it was just un-logical.
Twisting the knobs in the shower, she forced herself to put the idea out of her head, at least for a little while.
For a long while she just stood under the spray, letting the water run over her head and trail down her skin.
The slayer stood in the shower until her thoughts began to recede and she could feel her blood pumping through her body, could count the minutes by her steady, even breathing, and then she finally began to wash herself, the routine of it something she didn't have to think about.
By the time she was done with her shower and brushing her hair and teeth, Buffy thought she was ready to face Alice again, and ask a few questions about what the vampire had just revealed.
The blonde walked out of the bathroom already opening her mouth to speak, only to find her room empty of the brunette vampire she wanted to talk to.
It took the slayer a few moments to figure out what had happened, and then she was cursing herself and reaching for her shoes and car keys, only to realize that her car was at the Cullen's house, they had been driving Alice's car around the day before.
She was looking around the room, hoping for inspiration, when she caught sight of the key chain with a huge, gaudy, fake diamond on it, Alice had left the keys to her Ferarri on the table, in plain sight.
She hesitated only a moment before grabbing the keys and heading out the door, if the vampire hadn't wanted her driving her car she shouldn't have left the keys in her room.
Buffy just hoped that the brunette had gone home, because she really didn't know where else to begin looking for her.
As she headed for the vampire's house, Buffy began to appreciate just how great Alice's taste in cars was.
The Ferrari was easily the most expensive car the slayer had ever driven, but she found that the way it handled and the interior made the price seem almost reasonable, even if she could never afford it for herself.
It was only when she turned off the main road and onto the Cullen's winding driveway that she slowed the car below seventy, between the narrowness of the drive and the trees that crowded either side, she didn't want to scratch her mate's car.
When the house came into sight without her having heard the sound of trees branches against metal, the blonde breathed a sigh of relief.
Her rental car was sitting right out front, as if waiting for her, but that didn't necessarily mean that Alice was home.
Buffy got the feeling that the vampires went out on foot as often as they drove, and having seen the kind of speed they were capable of, she couldn't blame them.
What if Alice's bite could give her that same sort of speed?
She supposed it came down to how much she was willing to risk, how much they were both willing to risk, to give her the chance to survive the fight.
The slayer had already come to terms with the fact that she was ready to die, and the fact that that decision had everything to do with having met Alice.
Buffy was already climbing out of the car when she realized that while Alice might not be home, someone else could be.
She paused after shutting the car door and wondered if she should go back to the motel and just try to reach the vampire on her cell phone, but she was already here, and it seemed kinda pointless to just leave.
Before she could make up her mind to get back into the car, the front door opened and Alice stood there, looking at her as if she thought Buffy might not be quite real.
The first thing out of the blonde's mouth was pure typical Buffy Summers.
"You left"
The moment it was out, she wished she could take it back, it had sounded so harsh and accusing, and the brunette's face feel immediately.
Alice opened her mouth, and then promptly closed it, apparently at a sudden loss for what to say.
Finally she sputtered out a response.
"You went and hid in the bathroom!" the incredulity rang through the brunette's voice.
"I know" Buffy said softly "I needed a little time to process. I think we need to talk a bit more. Um, if I can come in?" she asked, gesturing to the door Alice was currently blocking.
She watched the battle play across the other woman's face, eyes squeezing tightly shut and jaw clenching and releasing, before she stepped backward into the house to allow Buffy to enter.
Once Buffy was inside Alice closed the door and lead the way into the living room, sitting down without a word.
Obviously this wasn't going to be as easy as she had hoped.
"I know I reacted really badly, and you have every right to be mad at me. I just needed a little time, to try and get it into my head. When I came here, the watchers gave me a file to read, about Edward, about you, about what sort of vampires you were".
She darted a glance at the amber eyed pixie across from her, but Alice gave no sign that she might be saying things wrong again, so she continued.
"Do you want to know what that file said about your bite? It said it was poison, no antidote, no cure, no hope, just death. And now suddenly you're telling me that not only is there a chance I could survive it, but that it might be my only chance of surviving this mission. You gotta admit, it sounds pretty crazy."
A glance at Alice showed that she seemed to be listening, and looked a little less tense than when Buffy arrived, she only hoped that was a good sign.
"Alice, I'm not saying I'm ready to just tell you to have at my neck, but I am thinking about this, about the possibility that it could work."
She paused to give the vampire time to process what she had said for a moment before continuing.
"You are going to have to say something though, if we're going to have a conversation about this".
The brunette blinked, as though coming out of a deep trance.
Then the vampire pinned her with a piercing stare.
"You just, you don't know what it's like, feeling like the one person you'd live, or die for, is rejecting you for trying to help them".
Buffy watched her mate shake her head, and then pull her knees up to her chest.
"I tried to keep it to myself, because I knew you wouldn't like the answer I had for you. I was hoping that the watcher, or your witch friend might come up with something better, but then they didn't, and you asked me what it was I kept going back to in the book. I couldn't keep it from you anymore".
The slayer was lost for words, and even badly put together puns were evading her at the moment.
She watched Alice lick her lips before continuing.
"I know what a risk it is, better than anyone. I don't want to lose you, and I especially don't want to be the one to kill you. We need to decide what we're going to do with the information we have, but more, we need to decide what we can live with".
Buffy nodded slowly, turning things over in her mind. She knew Alice was right, and that the way she had reacted was totally unfair to the brunette.
She licked her lips and took a breath before speaking hesitantly.
"I know how I reacted wasn't right, I know it wasn't even close to reasonable. I'm not used to being so off balance, to not knowing what I'm doing in a situation".
Alice gave a bitter bark of laughter at that, to Buffy's ears it sounded painful.
"That's what being in love is Buffy. It's being off balance and not knowing what you're doing. It's finding a way through everything, together".
The vampire paused a moment.
"It's about knowing that you're not alone, that you don't have to go through anything alone anymore".
The slayer hung her head "I think I'm learning that one the hard way" she murmured, knowing the vampire would hear.
Before she could even look up the brunette was at her side, but it was Buffy who reached out, pulling the other woman to her and kissing her deeply in what she hoped was the beginning of an apology that she lacked the words to deliver.
Pulling back she looked into Alice's eyes and said what was on her mind, punctuating the sentence with quick kisses scattered across the vampire's face.
"I don't want to let you go, ever".
"Then don't" Alice said simply, crawling on top of the blonde.
Buffy let her hands slide along the other woman's sides while she enjoyed having the sexy vampire pressed against her full length.
And when she slipped her hands under Alice's shirt she felt the vampire shiver in anticipation, with a quick prayer that she wouldn't screw up Buffy let go of all thought and just did what felt right.
Alice's POV
Alice lay curled around her mate, as still as if she actually slept.
Buffy turning away from her in the motel room that morning had almost been enough to break her, but at least the blonde now seemed to understand what she had done wrong, as well as the possible consequences.
She had known that the slayer would have a lot to adjust to, but Alice really hadn't expected that learning to make decisions and working out problems together would be would be such a stumbling block for her.
Buffy was also lying still and quiet, though Alice could tell that the slayer wasn't sleeping any more than she was.
She wanted to ask what was going through the other woman's mind, but figured that giving her time to bring it up on her own would be easier on her.
As it happens, Alice didn't have to wait long at all.
"I feel like I should be asking questions, but I don't know where to start or what to ask" the slayer said quietly, turning in Alice's arms to look at her.
"I know this is a big deal, and you shouldn't feel like you have to decide anything tonight. So just take your time. It will be ok".
The brunette wished she could give her mate better reassurances, but even without her gift she could sense that time was running out for them to prepare.
"What happens if it doesn't work? Is there a chance I could survive?"
Alice winced inwardly, that was the last question she wanted to answer for her mate, but she had promised.
She had to choose her words with care now, she had to tell the woman the truth, but she didn't want to scare her either.
"What I would give you is a small, controlled dose of the venom. If it doesn't work like we're hoping it would; the only other option would be to give you more, a lot more".
"More?! But what . . .? oh".
Alice watched the realization spread across the woman's face, and wished there had been a gentler way to tell her that if the venom didn't make her stronger that the only way to save her would be to turn her.
Alice was prepared, just in case the woman made a run for it, but instead Buffy only looked down, obviously thinking hard about the choice and the chance in front of her at that moment.
It had to be hard for the slayer, to contemplate becoming the thing she had hunted for so long.
Surely she realized that she would be the same person even if she became a vampire?
Alice couldn't offer her any stronger reassurances because she couldn't remember what she had been like as a human herself.
Once, when she had asked Carlisle about it, he had sworn to her that all the others had been the same people both before and after their transitions, and that she must have been as well even if she couldn't remember it.
At the moment Alice was wishing that Carlisle were there to help her explain things to her mate better.
The slayer chose that moment to ask her next question.
"And would I, would we, I mean you and I? . . ." she trailed off, clearly at a loss for how to say what she wanted to.
Alice's eyes went a bit wide as she realized what Buffy was getting at.
The woman wanted to know if they would still be mates if she were turned.
"Yes, of course we would still be mates. A little thing like you becoming a vampire couldn't change that! I mean, not that becoming a vampire is a little thing or anything but "
she cut herself off as she realized she was rambling.
Buffy was staring at her curiously, like she might be something fascinating she had just discovered.
"It's ok Alice. I get it. You don't remember being human, so to you being a vampire isn't a big deal".
She shook her head, "It's just part of who you are, and something I will have to get used to".
Alice really could have kissed her, that the woman could accept and was willing to stick around to get used to her little quirk.
It meant more to her than she had the words to express at that moment.
Alice nodded and took a breath she didn't need, waiting for Buffy to continue.
It seemed the slayer was finding her footing because her next question came quick.
"Mates are permanent, right? So you wont just, I don't know, get bored and leave me one day, right?"
The slayer sounded uncertain, almost scared, and it ripped Alice's heart out to hear it.
"Yes Love, mates are permanent. That's why Edward went mad when his mate and child were upset"
Alice said it calmly, as gently as possible, when what she would have liked to do was wrap her in a bear hug and not let go for an hour.
Buffy chewed on her bottom lip in silence for a minute, apparently deep in thought.
"I didn't understand when I first came here why a vampire who had stayed good for so long would suddenly just snap like that, but I think I'm starting to" she said finally.
Alice felt her lips turn up in a warm smile, there was hope after all if the slayer was beginning to understand the depth of the bond between mates.
A moment later it seemed that the slayer had come to a decision, because in an instant her hesitancy vanished, as did the hint of fear Alice had been sensing from the woman since they began their talk.
"So what do I need to know?, about what happens if this doesn't work like we think it will."
The blonde's voice was calm, but there was a resolve in it that hadn't been there before.
For the first time since learning that the slayer was her mate, Alice felt hopeful that the odds might actually be in their favor.
"You can accept the idea that you might end up a vampire?"
The brunette wanted to be extra sure that Buffy knew what she saying.
A misunderstanding that big might actually be enough to sever the bond between mates, and that would only compound the vampire problem in the area.
"It's not on my top ten list of things to do in Forks, if that's what you're asking, but I'm not ready to be dead dead yet either" the blonde replied.
"You know it's a different kind of life Buffy" Alice reminded her simply.
"Yup, but it's not as bad as it could be, I mean your type of vampire doesn't burst into flames if you get a little sun".
The brunette stared at the slayer for a minute, not sure whether to laugh or shake her head at the woman's craziness.
That was the absolute last reaction she had expected from her.
Unable to help herself, the vampire let out a peal of relieved laughter that had the slayer looking at her like she might be the crazy one, and that only made Alice laugh harder.
Once Alice was finally able to get control of herself she leaned in and kissed the slayer gently on the lips.
"Ok, in all seriousness, are you really alright with the possibility that you might become a vampire?"
she asked finally.
"Yeah" the blonde said softly "I can handle it".
The brunette thought she might never have heard someone so determined to succeed before.
Alice felt, for the first time since this nightmare had begun, like they somehow had a chance of succeeding.
The two of them, as if by mutual agreement, settled back against the back of the couch, pressed against each other in a long line from hip to thigh and Buffy's hand found it's way into Alice's.
It felt like all of the tension had just gone out of the air between them and the brunette was so relieved that she felt like she could actually have slept, even though her kind never did.
"We need to keep up with your training, but I've seen how you move, with a little extra edge you can beat Edward" Alice said into the silence that had fallen in the room.
Buffy looked over at her.
"You mean we aren't just going to count on your bite to be the magic bullet here?" the slayer asked, clearly surprised.
The vampire just shook her head "I try to play smarter, not harder love" she said simply.
"If we're just" Buffy started.
"But we're not" Alice finished before the blonde could voice her doubts.
Then slowly she began to lay out what she had in mind, she had been thinking this through ever since she found the entry in the book.
Alice intended to use their relationship to make it easier on Buffy, to play and tease right up to the point of biting her.
That way it would not be such a shock or a surprise when they finally took that step.
She knew that even though Bella had begged Edward to turn her for months it had shocked and hurt her when he finally did it.
Alice really didn't want her mate to suffer even a moment of that with her.
When she was finally done the slayer seemed a bit confused on a few points of the plan, and a bit worn out from their day, but generally accepting of what the brunette had in mind.
The vampire stands, and taking Buffy's hand, pulls the blonde to her feet before leading her towards the den.
"Um, where are we going?" the slayer asked trailing behind her easily.
"The den hun, you look like you could use some sleep, and I figured I'd just put on a movie and keep the volume low while you use me as a teddy bear".
She smirked, knowing full well that that was most likely what would happen, and not minding it one bit.
When they reached the den Buffy pulled her hand gently from the vampire's grip
"Why don't you let me pick something for you to watch?" the blonde asked.
Amused, Alice smiled and nodded for Buffy to go ahead.
Most likely the woman would give up when she realized just how many movies the Cullens owned, but it was a nice thought.
While Buffy started scanning titles Alice grabbed the pillow and blankets Buffy had used the last time she slept in the den, and then she made herself comfortable.
It was fun watching her walk back in forth in front of the wall of shelves where their DVD collection was stored, the blonde would pause now and then and pull out a box to read the summary, and a couple of times the faces the blonde made almost made Alice laugh out loud.
Finally Buffy pulled out a box and headed for the player, Alice figured she could hazard a guess about what it might be based on the area it had come from, but that would take the surprise out of it.
The brunette looked down, stroking a hand over the pillow, while Buffy put the disc in and started the movie.
As the opening menu came onscreen the vampire laughed, it was Bedtime Stories, with Adam Sandler, the movie was a good one, as well as apropriate considering the slayer was about to sack out.
The blonde smirked as she walked back to the couch where Alice waited.
"Glad you like my choice".
Buffy knelt on the couch beside her and leaned in, Alice automatically raised a hand and traced her fingers back into silken locks.
When Buffy straddled her lap, Alice arched an eyebrow.
"You need to rest sweetheart, not start something that will keep you up all night" she reminded her mate gently.
"I just want a kiss or two, I can control myself babe" the blonde replied with a slow smile.
"Babe?" the vampire asked
"Oh yeah, you are definitely a babe" the slayer answered with a grin.
Alice could only smile in response.
Her hands skimmed down the blonde's back to rest on the curve of the other woman's hips.
"You feel so good here, like you fit just right".
"It does feel right being here with you" Buffy admitted, and then she finished leaning in and kissed Alice.
She kisses her slowly, pouring every ounce of that feeling of "rightness" into their kiss.
The brunette felt her eyes drift closed as she pulled her mate closer.
She might never get enough of this woman she thought.
Her scent, her taste, her warmth, everything about her overwhelmed and went to Alice's head in ways that nothing else ever had.
True to her words, after a couple of extremely addicting kisses, the blonde pulled back and eased herself off of Alice's lap, and though she didn't say it the vampire definitely felt the loss.
Soon enough though Buffy settled down on the couch beside her, the woman's head on Alice's thigh.
The slayer was quiet, watching the movie and beginning to drift off, while Alice was watching Buffy.
The vampire smiled softly when she saw that her mate's blinks were growing longer and longer, the woman was clearly fighting sleep and Alice doubted the woman even knew it, a fighter to the core.
The movie was almost half over when the blonde's breathing deepened and her eyes stayed closed and the brunette knew that she was finally asleep.
The vampire lowered the volume and shifted Buffy just a little so that she wouldn't get a crick in her neck.
Buffy's POV
Buffy woke slowly, stretching out her arms and legs, and as her mind caught up to her body she realized that something, or rather, someone, was missing.
She remembered that she had fallen asleep with her head in Alice's lap, but now the vampire was nowhere to be seen.
She sat up wondering where the vampire was, and what she might be up to.
It seemed odd that Alice wasn't at her side, even odder to think that she might have left her alone in the house.
After a few minutes a small noise caught her attention, curious but cautious she padded barefoot to the doorway between the den and the living room.
What she saw across the living room in the kitchen stopped her in her tracks and stuck a goofy grin to her face; Alice was dancing around the kitchen and cooking, cooking for her, since the vampire didn't eat.
Then the vampire spun to face her and flashed her an absolutely brilliant smile that made Buffy feel truly lucky to be there.
