Chapter 8

Reliving the past

I was finally on my way home. I made it to the airport in Washington. I got off the plane and made my way over to the baggage claim. I recalled the last time that I was here. The day when my life changed. I quickly took hold off my belongings and headed to the car rental kiosk, where I rented a car. I would soon be buying one when I had the time.

The drive to Forks helped me calm my nerves. I hoped that they wouldn't be there. That I could live in peace in what was my hometown. I watched as the scenery passed how it had changed over the years. How what were once small family own stores were now big commercial businesses. I continued observing my surroundings until I made it to the WELCOME TO FORKS sign.

I was trying to keep my emotions in check. I drove slowly through the town not much had change it was like I was thrown back in time. Everything was like I had left it. I tried not to think in the pain that looking at all of the places that I spent time with my father, with my friends, with him. I knew that once I made it to the cemetery I would not be able to handle the pain that I was feeling.

With all the courage and effort that I could muster I made it to Fork's Cemetery. I couldn't get out of the car. I sat there watching the sun go down and the night getting colder. I don't know exactly how long it took me to gather the strength that I needed, but I finally made it out of the car. It didn't take that long to find my father's grave. His head stone read:

Charles "Charlie" Swan

Beloved father and husband

Honorable Chief of Police

You will be missed

But what really caught my attention was what was next to his head stone, it was another one but this one read:

Isabella "Bella" Swan

Beloved daughter and friend

You will be terribly missed

Loved and remembered for the rest of

Our lives.

The word on the head stone made me lose my composure. I broke down right there in front of my father's grave. I was sobbing madly. I couldn't stop. My venom filled tears falling in the grass below me. I cried for the life that I had been deprived of. I cried for the father that I did not get to say good bye to. I grieved for the family that I gave up. The one that I would no longer see. I just cried and cried and there seemed to be no end to the flow of tears.

I can't believe that I would not be able to see my father, my mother, my sibling. I gave all this up to become a monster. Something that I could not even look at in the mirror. Something that would never die. I at that moment I realized how lost and alone I was. I noticed that my existence would be cursed. I hated myself.

Some rustling from the woods behind me caught my attention. I didn't turn around; I knew who was behind me. I could sense who it was even before they made their way in my direction. Still the tears would not stop; they only came harder, with their presence. Why? Why did it have to be them?

"Bella? Is that really you?"

I stood slowly at the sound of their voices. I looked toward the ground and turned slowly to face them. I looked them straight in the eye, with a look of pure rage, but still the tears did not stop. They were flowing freely down my face, and I made no move to stop them.