After all these years, Shepard stared back into the same warm brown eyes she had learned to grow accustomed to. It felt like their first meeting on Vancouver, it felt like their reunion on the Citadel, it felt like their meeting with his family, it felt like London calling, it felt like the hope of a new life. It felt like home.

"Shepard?" Kaidan's incredulous voice awoke Shepard from her daydream. Now was not a time for silly fantasies of what could have been. She knew better. That was three years ago. She created a new life for herself, away from whatever past she held onto.

And yet, Shepard's heart still fluttered with the foolish idea that maybe, perhaps, after all this time, they could go back to their lives together. Screw the Alliance, screw Cerberus. But she grew up knowing not to hold onto childish fantasies. After all, that's how she survived this long. She ran away from home when she was six, was found by Kaidan, was orphaned, was adopted by an addict who sent her to the Citadel, fell in love with a specter, and after he died, joined Cerberus. Her life was built on survival. And yet, her question still remained. After all these years, why did he still hold this effect on her? He was only a boy of her past, a ghost she had decided to leave behind.

Yet something inside her knew the answer was as clear as day. It did not begin while lying down on the sunflower field, nor when she revisited Vancouver, nor when they met again on the Citadel. It began with a simple act of charity, a characteristic he grew with as a man. He made her feel safe after so many years of running. He made her feel human.

And yet here she was, pointing her gun at him, and both of his teammates ready to fire with a moment's notice. The glow of Kaidan's own biotics seemed to fade, yet his firearm was still cautiously pointed between Shepard's eyes.

"We should take her hostage." A burly man with a thick accent decided, with his assault rifle positioned and ready to fire. "She could know valuable information about Cerberus. Look at the ranking on her uniform."

"You know, Vega, the aggressive way isn't always the answer." The boyish voice answered. Shepard recognized him as Jenkins, the man who defended her in the Citadel hospital after the reaper attack all those years ago. His eyes were hardened now, as if he has completed his transition from boy to man, or rather, from human to military dog.

"That wasn't how I meant it." Vega replied shortly.

"Then exactly how was it supposed to mean?" Jenkins bit back, but his voice was wavering. Both men were working up a temper, as if they were releasing some pent up anger.

"It's your call, Commander."

Both Shepard and Kaidan were still too stunned to react. Kaidan began to slowly lower his gun, but Shepard remained unwavering. She would not be fooled by this. Perhaps the Illusive Man was right. He had no reason to lie to her, after all. This really could be a clone trying to impersonate him. The very thought had Shepard furious, her headache quickly returning.

"Who the hell are you?" Shepard demanded through a strained voice. A part of her heart deep inside broke to see the utter loss in Kaidan's eyes.

"Shepard… what are you talking about?" Kaidan completely lowered his gun, and both of his teammates did the same.

"How dare you impersonate him. I can't stand to even look at you." Shepard grit her teeth together, the very thought of such an insult to the man she knew infuriating. "The Kaidan Alenko I lo- knew died in space three years ago."

"Shepard, it's me." Kaidan attempted to walk forward, but Shepard's pistol remained trained on his forehead. His biotics began to glow again, his raw emotions spiking the defensive reflex.

"Commander Alenko has been revived by your own team, but he's back with the Alliance now. You won't be able to fool him." Jenkins frowned at Shepard, unable to recognize her, too busy defending his idol.

"What do you mean, 'my own team'?" Shepard asked incredulously, her own determination wavering, along with her aim.

"Cerberus revived him." Vega announced, plain and simple.

Cerberus? Shepard completely lowered her gun. Too many things were going on at once for her to comprehend. The day began with her trying to discover the real reason why she was sent to Mars, only to be attacked by Dr. Eva. And now, Kaidan's team was telling her that Cerberus has revived him. It was Eva, who should have been a fellow Cerberus operative, herself who had the orders to dispatch Shepard. Some of it made sense, yet it still left so many questions to be asked.

"Look, the Commander seems to know you, and won't shoot, so he apparently seems to trust you. Just come with us, we can settle this later." Jenkins placed his gun back in his holster, ready to leave.

"Why would I go with you?" Shepard asked dubiously. It was a stupid assumption of an Alliance soldier to make that she would simply just follow..

"I don't know what Cerberus has been telling you, but our home planet has been attacked. With Earth under attack of the reapers, we are now a species that could become endangered any day. Every second we waste here, more humans are slaughtered at home. The Commander trusts you, so we should, too." Jenkins answered for Kaidan, who still seemed too stunned to speak.

Shepard looked down to the Cerberus insignia sewn onto her breast, then back at Kaidan. His eyes were still studying her every move, dreading what would have to come if she refused. She remained vaguely aware of the gun that still was in her hand, ready to be fired. She could end it all, this easily. She could move on with her life, completely leaving behind all that happened in her past.

Yet she couldn't do it.

No matter how much she willed herself to press her finger onto the trigger, some part of her could not murder the little girl that lived inside her, the little girl laughing with a boy in Vancouver over hot chocolate and doughnuts.

"Are you with us?" Kaidan asked.

She told herself she was doing this for humanity. If Vega was right, then the reapers were already attacking Earth. She had to do anything she could to help her species survive this, even if it meant siding with the Alliance for now. After all, isn't that what Cerberus was about; helping humanity?

Shepard glanced at her pistol, and tucked it away. Years later, in a starship high above, flying with the stars she and Kaidan had once dared to defy while reclining on a bed of sunflowers, some part of her would wish she had just ended it all there.

Yet for now, Shepard nodded and stood completely, her composition still uneasy from her concussion.

"Let's go."


Shepard stepped out with Kaidan's squad, already unsure of herself. They were near the exit of the station, by the trams. By now, Shepard was acutely aware of the distant mumbling in the room ahead. She wanted to say something, but working alongside members of the Alliance proved to be more difficult than Shepard imagined. Obviously she had not fully gained the trust of either Vega or Jenkins. But she didn't blame them; she didn't trust them either. She and Kaidan had not spoken a word to each other, besides the rare command he'd give the entire squadron.

However, fighting with the marines was one thing. Being under the command of Kaidan was an entirely other situation.

"Kaidan-" Shepard had tried to communicate with him, but received a quick glare from both members of his team. She knew they didn't mean it; they only perceived her not calling him by his title as a slight and acted on their reflexes. Yet she still would not call him Commander. He was not her commander, and they both shared the same rankings now after all. Kaidan turned around to listen to her, all the same. "Your team should take cover behind those crates. Let me do the talking."

"Shepard, you can't just reason with every pocket of Cerberus troops we encounter. Every one of them are terrorists. Were you not aware of the hostages murdered outside the base?" Kaidan berated her for the first time since their untimely reunion. Part of her knew it was inevitable, and part of her deserved it as well, but none of her self awareness helped lessen the sting.

Shepard immediately bristled. Here she was trying to helping him, and there he was, patronizing her actions. Before she could reply, a bustling through the air vents distracted the both of them, and the entire team glanced at the ceiling. The sound was not mumbling soldiers after all, but a chase in the vents. They could hear stray gunshots ricochet above them. Kaidan aimed his rifle at the opening of the vent, ready to shoot the hostile. Instead, an asari leapt out and landed gracefully on the floor, throwing a singularity at the group of Cerberus operatives who had attempted to attack her.

When they were all dead and gone, all it took was a glance in Kaidan's direction to send a sigh of relief through her body. Shepard immediately lowered her own gun, realizing it must be one of Kaidan's allies. Kaidan's team moved forward, she and Kaidan exchanging a hug, and then she and exchanged formal apologies about Earth's demise, and questions of where have you been and what are you doing here. When all was said and done, Kaidan stepped aside, revealing Shepard in all her glory of her Cerberus uniform.

"What is she doing with you guys?" Liara immediately pulled out her rifle, which Shepard quickly raised in return.

"Easy, Liara." Kaidan lowered Liara's firearm with ease. "She's with us."

"But how-"

"We'll explain later." Kaidan nodded towards Shepard, who complied and put away her gun as well. Liara seemed unable to trust Shepard's presence at first, but decided to trust Kaidan's words instead. She explained why they were even there, claiming there was some sort of Prothean device that could stop the reapers, explaining why Cerberus was even based there in the first place.

"That can't be true." Shepard quickly cut in between Liara and Kaidan's chat. "We- they were here because it was a convenient place to set up a base and mine for whatever else the Protheans left behind."

"Which seems to be the Crucible." Kaidan nodded, agreeing with Liara's report. "You were their commander, shouldn't they have atleast told you why you were here?"

Shepard frowned. She was able to doubt herself and her own allegiances, but immediately felt defensive when it was brought up by Kaidan of all people.

Kaidan sent James and Jenkins back to the shuttle, preparing to act as as their getaway drivers covering the exits of the tram. Working with Liara under Kaidan's command was a completely different situation. Liara was capable of defending herself and more, but both she and Kaidan depended too much on their biotics. The team was completely disproportionate, relying on Shepard to do most of the heavy lifting. Luckily enough, all the guards were gone and only the defense mechs were left for the team to pick off.

The chaos of the entire situation did not allow Shepard enough time to think of exactly what she was starting by fighting alongside Alliance soldiers against Cerberus. She knew repercussions awaited her, but if she thought about it too much, she would get caught in the crossfire and die anyways. So she simply did not let herself ponder on it- for now, at least.

They dysfunctionally fought their way through the trams together, relying on Shepard's knowledge of the base and the strategies that Cerberus employs, Kaidan's guidance, and Liara's biotics. They finally made their way to the exits of the trams, leading to what was called the Crucible. Shepard could barely believe Cerberus was working on this, under her very nose. Liara nodded and moved towards the nearest terminal, planning to download the information.

"Commander Alenko," A man's raspy voice flooded through the terminal, a voice she knew all too well. Shepard turned around next to Kaidan, the both of them looking in awe at the transmission of the Illusive Man. At the revelation that his two finest projects were now working together, the Illusive Man sighed and took a drag of his cigarette. "I see the lovebirds have been reunited. Beautiful. I do adore happy endings."

"What the hell is Cerberus doing here?" Shepard stormed towards the terminal, demanding answers, her grey eyes in a fury. "Tell me the truth. About everything."

"Slow down there, princess." The Illusive Man chuckled, a sound that did not suit him.

"And just where is Paul?" Shepard continued on, not bothered by The Illusive Man's interruption.

"Who's Paul?" Kaidan asked dubiously. Shepard paused, looking behind her, remembering just who it was. It dawned on her at that moment how much Kaidan didn't know.

"You seem too high tempered to talk right now, princess. I'll talk to Alenko instead." The Illusive Man sighed, unperturbed. This only seemed to further ignite Shepard's fury.

"Stop calling me princess, or I swear-"

"What the hell is going on?" Kaidan stepped forward, also needing answers. The Illusive Man instead tsked his tongue and shook his head.

"I only talk to reasonable people, remember? Calm down."

"Don't you tell me to calm down." For the first time in all the years of knowing Kaidan, he lost his temper. "You told me that Shepard was dead. You told me that the only way to honor her memory was to join your fight against the reapers. You told me-"

"Kaidan," Liara looked up from her terminal, her eyes in equal amazement and horror. Kaidan paused, realizing just what he could have done, and remembering the real reason he was even there.

"Just tell me what you want." Kaidan sighed in defeat. The Illusive Man seemed to relish in it.

"What I've always wanted." The Illusive Man didn't even bother to hide his smug grin. "These artifacts hold the key to solving the threat."

"I've seen your solution." Kaidan seemed revolted by even the thought. Shepard could only wonder what he's seen in his year under Cerberus control. "You're turning your people into monsters."

"Not monsters, Alenko. Tools. Because why kill your enemies when you can control them?" The Illusive Man smiled. Shepard realized at this moment that all eyes were on her. "I see you've been putting my philosophy to good use."

"Don't you dare bring Shepard into this."

"She's already in this, Alenko. Unless you haven't noticed that Cerberus uniform she's wearing." The Illusive Man seemed bored, ready to disconnect their comm link. "You've been a good tool, Alenko. But like the rest of the tools I've used, your usefulness is over. Don't interfere with my plans."

"Commander!" Liara looked up from her terminal in a panic. "The plans, they're not here. They're being erased locally."

Shepard and Kaidan stared daggers back behind them to the Illusive Man, but his likeness already vanished. Only his voice echoed through the room.

"And goodbye, Shepard. It's been fun having you play at being commander, but like Alenko, your usefulness has run out. Have fun in paradise with loverboy."

Shepard raced behind the terminal, already aware of the setup of the base. In every room with a main power system, there were always two terminals surrounding it. One on each opposite end. Shepard didn't even care at this point what the Illusive Man cared to taunt her with. Instead, she discovered Eva meddling with the sister terminal, stealing the local data. Shepard did not hesitate to fire her pistol without a warning shot.

Instead, the bullets flew off the robot's shields, and only alerted her of Shepard's presence. Eva tried to send another punch flying to her head, but she wasn't falling for that again. Shepard quickly ducked in response, and sent a kick to Eva's legs. She fell flat on her bum, surprisingly enough. Shepard was ready to tackle and restrain the hostile, climbing atop of Eva and pushing away her rifle. However, she underestimated Eva's strength. Shepard was quickly overtaken, and pushed away. Shepard's head hit the wall of the base, yet again. The blow was not close enough to her first concussion to be an instant death, but it was close enough to be damned painful. Shepard landed on the back of her leg, her ankle twisting underneath itself. No doubt she had a few fractured (maybe even broken) bones, but she had to fight the pain for now. The room was spinning, and Eva did not hesitate to pick up her gun and race away.

"Kaidan, go after her!" Shepard shouted to where Liara and Kaidan still stood. He quickly understood and followed suit, giving into the chase. Liara raced towards Shepard, offering to help her up from the floor.

"Are you alright?" Liara asked demurely. The asari wrapped her arm around Shepard's shoulder, helping her stand.

"I'll be fine. They're getting away." Shepard attempted to shake off the extra help. She didn't need to be carried; she could fight off the headaches and her injured leg for now until they got onto the shuttle with Vega and Jenkins. They couldn't let Eva get away. Liara nodded, understanding Shepard's will to fight. Liara jogged ahead, hot on Eva's trail, with Shepard doing her best to follow on her own.

By the time they climbed up all the ladders and exited the tram, they found Eva in her metal exterior, lying down in a pool of flames next to a crashed Cerberus shuttle. Jenkins leaped out of his own Alliance shuttle and attempted to help Shepard into the shuttle, realizing that she was limping and barely getting by. But by the time he realized Eva was not truly incapacitated, it was too late.

Jenkins pushed Shepard out of the way, taking the blow. Eva lifted Jenkins into the air with ease, his feet dangling below him. Shepard crawled up from the floor, watching in horror as Eva fried through Jenkins' shields. As Shepard fumbled to ready her pistol, Eva bashed Jenkins' helmet into the cement and flung him across the floor. At this point, Shepard realized Eva was now racing towards her.

Still off her balance, Shepard fired multiple shots to Eva's exterior, everything else in Shepard's mind running blank. Shepard fired two more shots, hearing the fizz of Eva's shields failing.

Her shields were already down, and Eva fell after eight bursts to the head.

Eva was closer now, and Shepard could hear Kaidan shouting for her to run for cover.

With a burst to the head, Eva fell into the flames.

At that moment, Shepard's adrenaline rush escaped her body, and her leg gave out from under her, only to have Liara catch her with ease. Shepard could barely hear Kaidan's brash orders to retreat to the starship as he carried the weight of Jenkins' limp body. As they stepped onto the Normandy, none of them could ever know this was how it was truly meant to be.