Summary: "There are questions I have to answer...things I have to do..." On a quest to fulfill a dream, Alice travels the world with the Company but finds herself leading a double life with twice the complication, thanks to a certain butterfly and an increasingly emotional correspondence with the Hatter that leaves her torn between the two worlds. Book One of the Alice in Underland trilogy.

Genre: Romance/Adventure

Pairing: Alice Kingsley & The Mad Hatter/Tarrant Hightopp

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or locations from Lewis Carroll's novels Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, nor do I own any characters or locations from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. All rights go to Lewis Carroll, Tim Burton, Linda Woolverton, Disney, etc.


Alice in Underland: The Letters

Part Eleven

2 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

It's good to be at sea. Because our visit to Singapore was during the New Year it made things a bit strange. We spent most of our time working so unfortunately we didn't really get to see much of Singapore itself, outside of the bangsals. And then of course, there was that annoying New Year party and the men bothering me. In any case, I'm certain I'll enjoy Singapore much more the next time we come. We'll be stopping here again when we make our return trip to London.

We're still celebrating the Twelve Days of Christmas and the mood on the ship is festive as ever. I'm back to my recently established routine of reading during the day and visiting with Miss Prescott, then dinner and refreshments and games at night. Tonight we played the usual games of Charades and Lookabout then after Lord Ascot left we played the Forfeits game. Absolem had given me a lot of good ideas on how to punish the men who tried to steal a kiss from me during the New Year's Eve party so to our immense delight, I was finally able to have a bit of revenge on them. I hope you don't think me petty and horrid but if you saw what it was like for me, I think you'd agree they deserved it. Here are some of the forfeits I made the men pay tonight (all of whom tried to kiss me at the party):

Mr. Derville had to dance the Waltz with Mr. Quinton. Both of them were quite red-faced by the end of the dance, as the other men whistled and cheered and had a great laugh at their expense during their Waltz.

Mr. Harris had to leap about the room like a frog for two minutes and say "ribbit" every time he jumped. The sight of it was quite amusing! We were all in stitches over that one.

Mr. Thornton had to kneel down and recite a love poem (by a woman poet) to Mr. Kirby while holding Mr. Kirby's hand. I have a book of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poetry so I went to my cabin to fetch it before the game began with the intention of using the following poem, called "A Man's Requirements":

I.
Love me Sweet, with all thou art,
Feeling, thinking, seeing;
Love me in the lightest part,
Love me in full being.

II.
Love me with thine open youth
In its frank surrender;
With the vowing of thy mouth,
With its silence tender.

III.
Love me with thine azure eyes,
Made for earnest granting;
Taking colour from the skies,
Can Heaven's truth be wanting?

IV.
Love me with their lids, that fall
Snow-like at first meeting;
Love me with thine heart, that all
Neighbours then see beating.

V.
Love me with thine hand stretched out
Freely—open-minded:
Love me with thy loitering foot,—
Hearing one behind it.

VI.
Love me with thy voice, that turns
Sudden faint above me;
Love me with thy blush that burns
When I murmur Love me!

VII.
Love me with thy thinking soul,
Break it to love-sighing;
Love me with thy thoughts roll
On through living—dying.

VIII.
Love me when in thy gorgeous airs,
When the world has crowned thee;
Love me, kneeling at thy prayers,
With the angels round thee.

IX.
Love me pure, as musers do,
Up the woodlands shady:
Love me gaily, fast and true
As a winsome lady.

X.
Through all hopes that keep us brave,
Farther off or nigher,
Love me for the house and grave,
And for something higher.

XI.
Thus, if thou wilt prove me, Dear,
Woman's love no fable.
I will love thee—half a year—
As a man is able.

That forfeit was the best of all, I think! And honestly, they deserved it. Both Mr. Thornton and Mr. Kirby had been the worst and the most determined to steal a kiss from me at the party so they had the harshest punishment. The other three men had annoyed me when they tried to kiss me but Mr. Thornton in particular was quite drunk and practically had to be pried off of me by Mr. Bowen when he tried to steal his kiss (or rather, tried to force it on me). And Mr. Kirby earned his punishment because he'd had the audacity to whisper in my ear that he "knew" I wanted him to kiss me and that he was more than happy to oblige "my secret wish". Can you believe the nerve of that man? At the time I wanted to slap his face for his disgusting presumption but that was when Lord Ascot noticed what was happening and he intervened immediately and stopped Mr. Kirby before he could kiss me.

So tonight's game was rather satisfying because I finally had my revenge. Absolem was quite entertained by it all and it took everything I had not to laugh because I could see him the whole time while he was hiding in the room and watching. You should have seen the look on his face when Mr. Thornton was kneeling and holding Mr. Kirby's hand and reciting the poem. It had been Absolem's idea in the first place, though I chose the poem, which I think was quite perfect for the occasion.

I hope you don't think too badly of me for being so...vengeful. Honestly, I'm not really a vengeful person but the men need to learn they cannot take liberties with my person and get away with it. I asked Absolem if he thought you'd be disapproving of my methods and he said he was certain you wouldn't be and then he said in fact, you probably would have come up with even worse forfeits to punish them. That made me laugh, trying to imagine what you might have come up with. Is what Absolem said true though? You don't disapprove of what I've been doing, do you? I would be most distressed if I ever did anything to cause you to think less of me.

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

How you worry about such silly things, my angel! Nothing will ever make me think less of you. I wish you could understand that and stop worrying! Absolem was indeed correct when he told you that not only would I not disapprove but that I also would have come up with even worse punishments for those men who dared to try to kiss you. I absolutely love your forfeits. I would have made Mr. Thornton kiss Mr. Kirby's hand after reciting the poem though. That would have reinforced the "lesson" quite nicely, I think. The poem was perfect. How delightfully embarrassing that must have been for them both! And I think you're sublime for your choice of not only selecting that particular poem but also for choosing a poem that was written by a woman poet.

Forever yours,

Tarrant


3 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

Today was the usual - reading and visiting with Miss Prescott during the day. We're still working on one of the puzzles Margaret gave me for Christmas. While we worked on the puzzle, we had quite a laugh over last night's Forfeits game. She knows I was punishing the men who tried to kiss me at the New Year's Eve party and she said she thought it was the perfect revenge and commended me on my creativity.

Tonight we had our dinner and then the expected refreshments and games afterwards. We played Charades and a new game, called Statues. Once again, after Lord Ascot retired, we played the Forfeits game. Even though my forfeits were less embarrassing (as I feel I've sufficiently punished the men who most deserved it), I think the men are a bit scared of me now!

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

How I wish I were there with you. What fun we would have playing all those games! And how I would love to win a forfeit and ask you for a kiss. I think you'd let me, wouldn't you? You would pretend it was only to teach the other men a lesson and that it was for show to make them think we were having what appeared to be a secret "pretend courtship" but really, you'd let me do it because you want me to kiss you. And after I kissed you, I'd be bold and whisper in your ear that I liked it. I wonder what you would do then?

Forever yours,

Tarrant


4 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

Tonight when we were playing the Forfeits game, I almost Futterwackened. I decided not to at the last minute because I realised I would have to lift my skirt and show my ankles and that is simply not something that is done by a lady of my station and breeding, especially when I've been trying to convey the message to the men that I want to be left alone.

Did I ever tell you that I did Futterwacken - or at least made an attempt to - after I declined Hamish's proposal? When I got back to this world and returned to the gazebo and declined the proposal, I was in a strange and rather defiant mood so I went around and spoke my mind to my family and to Lowell and the Chattaway sisters and Lady Ascot. Lord Ascot then asked to speak privately with me in his office when I told him I had some business I wanted to discuss with him. As I began to make my way towards the Ascot's manor to do so I stopped suddenly and that's when I Futterwackened. Everyone was quite shocked!

Goodness, thinking about it now, it really was a rather shocking thing for me to do! How utterly improprietous of me. But you know what? I don't regret it, my sweet Hatter. I did it partly as an act of defiance but it was also in honour of you.

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

I would have loved to have seen that.

Forever yours,

Tarrant


5 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

Tomorrow is the last day of the Twelve Days of Christmas. It's been quite an experience and I'm very happy Lord Ascot arranged for us to celebrate it. It seems to have made a big difference in everyone's mood and it's certainly brought us all closer. Despite all my problems with the men who were bothering me, it didn't spoil things. I think I've resolved that problem anyway, at least for now. So in the end, I feel it worked out perfectly and it's been a great success.

My rose is still alive and well. Can you believe it? Absolem said it's because of the magic from Underland. Thank you for giving me such a lovely gift, Tarrant. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Whenever I look at it I feel so happy. Are you still wearing your amulet?

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

I'm glad the rose is still alive. I wasn't sure how long it would last in the Otherworld but it seems the magic from Underland carried over. Yes, I'm wearing your amulet. As I said before, I shall never take it off.

Forever yours,

Tarrant


6 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

Good heavens! There's been talk of pirates possibly giving chase to our ship. Lord Ascot is very alarmed about the whole thing and he gave me a long talk about what to do if we ever get attacked but I told him not to worry about me. I wish I could have told him about the Jabberwocky and the dangers I've faced before. I doubt a bunch of pirates could be more frightening than the Jabberwocky, the Red Queen, the Red Queen's Knights and Stayne being after me. And to be quite honest, the thought of seeing real life pirates is actually rather exciting!

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

While I trust your ability to take care of yourself and face anything that comes your way I find myself worried. Absolem came for a visit today and told me what pirates are when I asked him about it. Really, they sound quite menacing. Please take special care, Alice. I have a strange feeling that something is about to happen and I'm scared. There was a certain expression on Absolem's face when he was talking to me about them. I asked him if you were in danger and he said no matter what might come to pass, he'll always look after you and he'll make sure no serious harm will come to you. His choice of words didn't exactly reassure me.

Forever yours,

Tarrant


7 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

Well! Apparently, there really were pirates after us but our ship is quite fast and we shook them off. Isn't that something! I know I should probably be scared - everyone else is - but I'm not. I've read some stories about pirate adventures and honestly, I can't help but find the thought of them chasing after us exciting.

Absolem is acting a bit strange though so I asked him if he thought we were going to get attacked by pirates while we're at sea. He said no but he had a funny look in his eyes.

We're very close to Borneo now, and we should be arriving there sometime before dawn.

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

Oh, I don't like the sound of that at all! Absolem always knows what will happen and I think something is about to happen. My amulet has been tingling too, which has me quite concerned. Please, please be careful!

Forever yours,

Tarrant


8 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

Here on the island of Borneo we're trying to establish trading contracts for various spices, coffee, sugar, tobacco, coconuts, beeswax, camphor and some beautiful exotic woods. I was supposed to spend the entire day doing Company business but because of the rather unpleasant reception I was receiving by the men from Borneo, Lord Ascot quietly pulled me aside and told me that while he hates that women are treated this way, unfortunately it's the way things are. He told me it would probably be best if I left and let him take care of everything. Because he looked so distressed and conflicted about it, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him for being put in such an uncomfortable position so I didn't put up a fight, and I took mercy on him. I told him that I understood and appreciated that he at least saw that "the way things are" is unfair and unjust, and that it certainly isn't his fault that men as a whole are so blind and prejudiced when it comes to women, then I made it clear that I was mature and wise enough to accept reality.

So instead of working, I spent the day exploring the Brunei region with Miss Prescott and Mr. Bowen (who was assigned to escort us). We had a guided tour which was interesting. Tomorrow we'll be visiting some of the local markets. Since I can't do Company business while we're here I shall be playing the part of tourist. I'm disappointed that I can't do my work and help get the contracts but I'm looking forward to seeing more of the island and going to the markets. I'll get you a present.

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

I'm sorry the men are so horrible in the Otherworld. How can you stand it? It makes me so angry that you're being treated the way you are. What is wrong with the men in your world? It doesn't make any sense to me.

Please take care while you're off the ship. I have the most horrible feeling that something is going to happen, especially because of Absolem's strange behavior and the wording of his assurance to me that he'll look after you and make sure you don't come to any serious harm and his response to you that you won't be attacked while at sea. The fact is, he didn't say you wouldn't be attacked while not at sea and that has me quite anxious. I'm terribly worried about you right now.

Forever yours,

Tarrant


My darling Alice,

I didn't get a letter from you today. What's going on? Absolem didn't come when I called for him this afternoon. I'm so desperately afraid something has happened!

Forever yours,

Tarrant


10 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

You won't believe what happened to me! I'm sure you must have been worried after not receiving a letter from me yesterday but there was a reason for it. So where do I begin with my incredible tale? Perhaps I should tell you the whole story from the start.

I woke up yesterday and took breakfast with Miss Prescott and Mr. Bowen then the three of us went ashore for our visit to the markets. At first everything was fine. We were looking at the various wares on display at the market when suddenly I was grabbed from behind as a hand covered my mouth to stop me from screaming and I was quickly dragged off and away before anyone could see what was happening. Miss Prescott and Mr. Bowen had been a few stalls down and their attention was on the selection of carved wood boxes they had been admiring. In those first few seconds I didn't exactly know what was happening but I was aware that I was being kidnapped. I just didn't know who was kidnapping me.

You'll no doubt find this quite shocking, Tarrant, but it was a pirate! Can you believe it? He was rather frightening but strangely, I wasn't too alarmed at that point. Perhaps it's because everything happened so fast. I didn't have time to think. The market was close to the harbour so it didn't take very long for the pirate to get me aboard the pirate ship. He took me down to the dungeon and locked me in, telling me in broken English that I was to be a prize for the Captain. That's when I began to get scared. He told me that my golden hair was a beautiful treasure and that the Captain would be very pleased with his gift. By that time, it started to sink in that I'd been kidnapped by an actual pirate and I was beginning to get an idea of what my intended fate would be so I was growing more and more afraid by the second, as you might imagine. The pirate kept staring at me and it was quite terrifying. I couldn't think straight at first but then suddenly a thought came to me. I told him he should let me go immediately because I had magical powers and he would pay for kidnapping me if he didn't release me at once. Of course he didn't believe me. He just laughed mockingly and said to prove that I had these "magical powers". I called for Absolem and when he appeared a moment later the pirate was shocked. You should have seen his face! Then Absolem started yelling at the pirate and threatening him which shocked him even more. The pirate was so unnerved, he ran away. As soon as he was gone we tried to think of different ways to get me free. But before we could do anything a different pirate came down to investigate. Absolem scared him off too. Really, it was almost comical.

That was how it went for the next few hours. Every time Absolem would scare off one pirate, another would come down to see what was happening. Finally we had a break and it gave us enough time for Abby to get the dungeon door unlocked. He said he did it using magic. In any case, once I got out of the hold he helped me find my way out and up to the deck then he told me to jump into the water and swim to where the Company ship was docked. I did as he said, though it was rather difficult to swim because my dress had grown quite heavy once it got wet. But Absolem was with me the whole way, urging me on and promising he'd save me if I couldn't swim anymore. He told me the best course of action would be to tell everyone that I'd gotten lost at the market and found my way back to where the ship was but that I accidentally slipped and fell into the water. So that's exactly what I told the men who rescued me. I was taken to Hospital but after being checked over, the doctors said I was fine and just needed rest after enduring such a shock. Lord Ascot was most distressed about it. Miss Prescott and Mr. Bowen were even worse. They felt guilty for "losing me" at the market, which made me feel terrible because of course, that's not what really happened and it wasn't their fault at all. I had to stay overnight at the Hospital because Lord Ascot and the doctors wanted to make sure I hadn't suffered any ill effects from being in the water so long. Absolem stayed with me the whole time, hiding from sight when anyone was around. Thank God for him. He really saved me, Tarrant! I don't know what I would have done without him.

After being checked over again this morning, the doctors gave me a clean bill of health and I was sent back to the ship with the strict order to stay on bedrest for the remainder of the day. Miss Prescott stayed in my cabin all day to watch over me and she finally just left after making sure I had my dinner. That's why it's taken so long for me to get the chance to write to you and tell you everything. I'm going to sleep now so you can get my letter and know I'm alright.

Goodnight, my dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

Good God! I knew something like that was going to happen. I'm just glad you're alright now. Absolem came today and told me everything. I asked him how he could allow you to even get in such a situation and asked why he didn't warn you. He said Fate has its own plans and he can't interfere with it but that I shouldn't worry because no matter what, you're protected and nothing truly bad is going to happen to you.

I do feel somewhat reassured by that but I also feel angry and helpless. Why can't I be there with you? I want to be the one looking after you, not Absolem! I'm glad he's there with you, of course, and truly, I'm more grateful than I can say that he saved you the way he did but it's not fair that he's the one who's allowed to be in the Otherworld with you instead of me.

Sometimes I go quite mad, Alice. Being apart from you is terrible. Having your amulet to wear has helped a little because as I said before, it's as if I have a piece of your heart with me, but sometimes it's not enough. I want all of you. We should be together, not apart!

Forever yours,

Tarrant


11 January 1873

Dear Tarrant,

We're back at sea now. The ship left port after the business was concluded late this afternoon. The next destination is Saigon. I'm quite eager to see it, as I've been told it's a rather exciting place.

No one knows what really happened with the kidnapping, not even Miss Prescott and especially not Lord Ascot. They still think I fell into the water and it was an accident. I can never tell the truth or I wouldn't be allowed to continue on as an apprentice with the Company. Abby told me you were worried but I promise, I'll be more careful from now on.

I miss you. I wish you were here, as always.

Goodnight, dear Tarrant.

Yours always,

Alice


My darling Alice,

I know you'll be more careful but I can't help but worry. Yet, I also know this is something you have to do so I won't make a fuss. But it's not easy.

I miss you too. So much.

Forever yours,

Tarrant


**A/N: Imagine my immense delight to find while researching 1870's Borneo that pirates were a big problem in that part of the world! I thought it would be fun to include a little pirate adventure as a nod to Johnny Depp's outstanding turn as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Of course, the pirates in this chapter aren't the ones from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (as the pirates in that region were generally not British), but I wanted to give a little salute to my favourite pirate.

** Well! After reading the recent reviews I've decided to give more than a little nod to Captain Jack Sparrow and I plan to give him an actual cameo role in an upcoming chapter. It fits in nicely because pirates were quite an issue back in that time, especially around Borneo, Hong Kong, Singapore and essentially the whole area the Company will be travelling through all the way from Ceylon to Shangai, particularly in all areas situated along the South China Sea. Borneo actually had its own land-based community, like Tortuga (which was one of the pirate communities featured in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies). Piracy was still in its Golden Age in Southeast Asia at that time though it was waning and that Golden Age was coming to an end by the late 19th century. It had already come to an end in the Caribbean a century before.

A little history lesson about pirates in the 19th century:

From www . reference .com/browse/piracy: The Bugi sailors of South Sulawesi were infamous as pirates who used to range as far west as Singapore and as far north as the Philippines in search of targets for piracy. The Orang laut pirates controlled shipping in the Straits of Malacca and the waters around Singapore. and the Malay and Sea Dayak pirates preyed on maritime shipping in the waters between Singapore and Hong Kong from their haven in Borneo.

From http: /www . allacademic . com/meta/p100435_index . html: First, pirate political communities grew out of simple necessity. While operating at sea, as self-contained communities, where rules were enforced through coercion (or threat thereof), pirate ships behaved similar to the Weberian idea of what constitutes a political community. Second, on many pirate vessels, there was a specific normative utopian sentiment, emphasizing relatively democratic and equalitarian principles. For these reasons, pirating vessels have often been described as "republics-at-sea." This utopian aspect is also seen in pirate attempts at setting up political communities on land, such as on Tortuga, Mauritius, Borneo or in Madagascar. Thirdly, the attempts at formation of land-based political communities, was the result of the success of piratical activities which in turn, required safe havens, or ideally, trading entrepots (e.g. Reunion, Tortuga and Port Royale). Pirates set up political communities, specifically land-based communities, since ships as "republics-at-sea," tended after all, to be temporary, contractual operations. Pirate attempts at forming land communities were possible because of great power inattention or encouragement."