Chapter Eleven, The Start of Greatness

"I can't believe your master left you to fend for yourself in a dangerous forest just to pass some stupid test."

I shrug, regarding him with an even gaze, "It was necessary to ascertain if I was worth her effort."

"That seems so... cold and inhuman. How did anyone allow it?"

"Perhaps it was cruel," I concede, "but say you had a highly skilled person in your employ. Would you give them time off of work and have them worry after a young, inexperienced apprentice if you didn't think it would pay off later?"

He shuffles uneasily, "When you put it that way... but I still can't understand the mentality of ninja."

I smirk, amused, "Then what of samurai, Chronicler? Don't they raise children from eight and younger to kill and die in the service of their masters, just like trained hounds- just like us?"

"The Nation's Scholars are different." he retorts, suddenly cold.

"How? You joined their academy at seven. They trained you how to distinguish fact from fiction, to know when someone isn't telling it all. They trained you how to fight, how to kill. You were the top of your class, and you proved it when that robber ambushed you on your way here. Face it, just like me you're not afraid to kill when the cause is right."

"Our training was different! We weren't taught how to go out and indiscriminately kill everyone that doesn't agree with us! Our courses were strictly self defense!"

"So is that what you think I am, a mass murderer going after innocents and guilty alike? You're a great judge of character."

The Chronicler takes a deep breath and shudders, "I hadn't imagined interviewing you would be like this when I won the draw. You're supposed to be a great, kind man that did the impossible daily- not a cynical, sociopathic monster."

"Maybe I'm both." I retort, amusement drying and giving way to melancholic thought, "I'm not a monster though, they only exist in the minds of children and short sighted fools. Maybe I'm a man that is great, kind, cynical and sociopathic all in one? Regardless, my childhood made me what I am today."

The Chronicler doesn't answer.

"This is why people should never meet their idols, child. The pedestal you put them on, the dreams, and illusions you shape around them shatter like glass in the face of reality."

He still doesn't answer, staring into his lap and fingering the pad and pencil cradled within.

"I suppose we should resume the interview again?"

0o0o0o0o0o

Research on how to remove Orochimaru's curse seal is slow going, we're running into multiple obstacles, snags, and pitfalls, the greatest of which we found out just before I started writing this memo. Through a rather complicated experiment (the details of which I'll send you later), we discovered that during the transmission of the seal to the person, the seal heavily altered itself-to the point of illegibility- using a method Orochimaru must have devised while still an active ninja of our village.

While the details of this method is still unknown, those in the Research and Development- Seal Division, are working every waking hour to isolate it, so we may counteract and eventually remove the seal on Agent Anko.

Meanwhile, I have some good news and bad news. The bad news is, one subject of Project: Cleansing passed away last night due to complications in the Life Suspension array. The good news, Research and Development- Medical Division, has produced a better chakra-vitamin cocktail that will slow the muscle loss subjects experience even further. Now, instead of losing a projected eighty percent of muscle mass within the coming decade, subjects are predicted to lose no more than forty percent. The previous cocktail has been declassified with shipments due to arrive to the usual hospitals within the week to aid with coma victims.

In addition, after months of research and experimentation, we have developed an advanced seal array that may finally allow us to remove the Subjects from their altered state of consciousness. First application of the seal to a subject will be at 1500 hours today, you're free to come and observe if you wish.

-Homura.

0o0o0o0o0o

When I awoke after the ceremony I found a note next to me, stating that they banned me from attending training. I spent that day playing my flute, shopping for supplies, and having dinner at the only restaurant I ever went to. I also met with Sasuke, having a novice philosophical discussion of the universe's nature. It quickly degenerated into a mild argument over the best way to flambe bunny.

Other stuff happened, nothing interesting other than Sakura poorly stalking us for a few minutes. Day quickly turned to night, me returning to my apartment just shy of midnight. I awoke at six, ate a quick breakfast after getting dressed, then made it to the Forest of Death clearing by six twenty.

I found Anko waiting for me, lounging on an overhead branch.

"You ready to get beaten into the ground, brat?"

"I actually have a question," I returned, "when I looked in the mirror I saw something on the back of my neck. I asked Sasuke about it yesterday, and showed me a seal of some sort on the back of his."

She scoffed, twisting off the branch and landing with cat-like agility. On a side note, her coat acted just like a coat should when falling from one-hundred feet in the air.

"Its not a seal, kid, its a tattoo. You know how that wolf ANBU talked about the order's sigil? That's what the tattoo is."

"Then all order members have them?"

"Are we playing a game of state the obvious?" she laughed, showing me the back of her neck.

The small tattoo shone into existence, an odd branding looking nothing like mine. It had two Konoha leaves crossed like blades above a tree, a curving flame surrounding them both. My tattoo only had leaves.

"The leaves are the symbol of initiate rank." Anko explained casually, "You get the tree when you become Agent, and the flame for when you achieve Commander rank. The tattoo is only visible when you want it to be, useful for staying on the down low. Don't ask me how it works, too much science for you to understand."

"Are those all the ranks? The ANBU mentioned something about obeying the Masters at all times."

"That's because the highest rank is Master, the symbol of which are roots surrounding everything else. Don't ask how many people in the order there are, and don't go around asking people if they're in it. At your rank you'll only know those that tell you they're in because they need to work with you, blah, blah, blah." Anko rolled her eyes, "Failure to comply with these orders will result in your soul being sucked into my belly."

"Where did the lecture come from?"

"Masters, and by masters I mean someone taking on students, that are teaching inducted initiates are required to give a lecture on procedure. So don't go around trying to delve into classified material you should not know."

"Can you actually do it?"

"Do what?"

"Suck my soul into your belly. Is that some kind of jutsu you'll teach me?"

"That was sarcasm, kid."

I knew it was, I just used it to broach my next subject, "Then what will you teach me?"

"Stuff you use to kill people quickly and quietly, stuff to make you a better summoner, stuff to manipulate people, and other stuff."

"Can you please be more specific?"

My master shook her head, grinning, "Nope!"

I regarded her without amusement- or any other emotion really-, "Is it because its classified?"

"Nope! I'm just tired of playing twenty questions with you, now think fast!"

A large brick the size of a chair's seat fell into my hands, making my knees bend to absorb the weight. I looked at it for a moment, then back at Anko.

"This is what we're going to do today." she stated simply, walking away with a gesture for me to follow.

"The brick is made out of densely packed together earth stuff." my master explained happily, lazily tossing a kunai at a shadow that shrieked and vanished, "It weighs about one hundred pounds and is lined with seals that double the weight every time it gets wet."

When we stopped by a deep stream, I had a feeling where she was going with that line of explanation.

"Now strip, you're going into that water naked." at that I dropped the brick, looking at a familiar fish circling the water.

"And what about those things?" I asked, "I don't like the idea of going in with all my soft parts exposed."

"That's the main reason we're doing this." Anko chirped happily, grinning, "You're going to channel chakra into the water to disrupt their senses and keep them away from you. Too little, it doesn't work and you get eaten by a swarm of fish. Too much and they go into a frenzy that makes them attack everything in the water- including you. The commotion will probably also attract a few curious- and hungry- predators."

She put a finger to her lip in thought, scrunching her face, "You know," Anko murmured, "maybe you should have a clone on shore just in case?"

"If we're doing a chakra exercise why do I need the brick?"

"Why not? Now strip." she commanded.

Finding no fault in her logic I quickly disrobed without a care. Years earlier I would have had a great sense of unease doing so, if only because of all the scars on my body. I had worked over that with the help of Kakashi, however. As for modesty I never had much of a sense of it in the first place- just ask my wife.

Bending down, I picked up the brick and held it over my head while channeling chakra through my body. As I approached the water and looked into it- forming a clone a short distance away- I heard a low whistle from my Master. I turned to find her scanning me from head to toe with a lewd expression.

"Not bad for a brat, brat." she complimented, walking up to me and turning me around in her hands, "I can see all the physical training you went through didn't go to waste." Anko paused with my back again facing her.

She smacked my bottom and I felt her grin, "You need to work on your butt a bit though, its kind of flat. Otherwise you won't get as many girls falling for you as you should."

I hefted the brick onto my shoulder, stared up into her eyes and asked, "Is this the part where you tackle me into the stream, loudly declaring your love for me before we have an all day sexathon?"

She grinned at me lewdly, pulling me into her arms, "I thought you'd never asked."

And so I lost my virginity to my alluring master. We had sex all day every day for right in that forest, had dozens of little Ankos and Narutos, then became lord and lady of the entire universe.

...Just making sure you were paying attention Chronicler, you've had that blank look for a while now.

I ripped myself from her hands and jumped onto the water. Gradually I let the chakra in the soles of my feet fade, allowing myself to slowly sink into it. The freezing liquid felt like dry ice blasting my whole body, causing me to shiver and quake enough to nearly drop the in the brick.

I watched the fish approach slowly, circling around me several times before darting away.

"Would you look at that? Maybe it was intimidated by your rocking bod?" Anko tweeted happily, "Let's find out for sure..." she brought a kunai to her hand, slashing it and letting the blood drip into the stream.

Instantly the water boiled and frothed, blue fish thrashing everywhere in search of their promised meal. Everywhere, that is, except the few calm feet of water separating me and their frenzied hunger.

"Huh! You're actually sending out the right levels of chakra on the first try." my master observed before walking away.

I balanced the brick on one hand for a moment, "How long do I have to stay like this?"

"Until I say otherwise." Anko answered without turning around, "Don't worry, I'll be back in a few minutes."

I watched her retreating back for a moment before focusing on the space around me. The icy water still stung my body, the lack of support under my feet proving the stream had more depth to it than it seemed. I contemplated applying more chakra to the stream to warm it up but quickly discarded the idea.

Minutes passed, the strain of my arms telling me to channel more chakra into them to strengthen myself. Nothing of note happened until my master returned, several sealing scrolls with her.

They all turned out to hold water balloons, which she lobbed at me all day while I awkwardly dodged around. Anko went easy on me, only hitting me twice before sundown. At her order I jumped out of the freezing water, air biting into me and sending tremors through my body. My face never betrayed my discomfort.

I looked around shore and found something missing, "Where are my clothes?"

Anko shrugged, vaguely gesturing around the forest with a smirk, "Somewhere within five miles there's a nest of Gazers enjoying some new bedding. If you want to go looking for them in the middle of the night you're more than welcome to. I'm going to hang out at your cave."

"All my weapons and tools were in my gloves, Master." I reminded her.

"I know, here." she tossed them to me, and I slipped them on without a moment's hesitation, "There's nothing in there, though, I took everything out and put it in my storage. You're not getting anything until training is over, a competent ninja can capture a kage naked and without weapons."

"By that definition there aren't a lot of competent ninja, are there?" I countered, falling into step behind her and warming myself with a small fire jutsu.

I never left the forest, wearing nothing but a pair of gloves. Every night I endured Anko subtly reminding me that if I got cold she wasn't afraid to cuddle. My training usually ended with me nearly drowning as I buckled under the brick's weight. Not only that, but on several occasions I nearly got castrated by a horde of hungry fish after loosing control of my chakra. Anko really enjoyed it when the latter happened.

My training continued as such for a while, swimming naked in a river full of flesh eating fish while holding a brick over my head. Then the fateful day came four weeks later when my master gave me a wide smile, proudly proclaiming for all the forest to hear, "Congratulations, you finally have average chakra control."

"Does that mean I'll start learning better genjutsu?" I expressed emotionlessly, pulling myself from the shivering water, "I know one or two but nothing that can really help in a fight."

"You can learn a few lower level genjutsu, but nothing capable of paralyzing people yet."

"There are genjutsu that do that?" I asked, thinking back to the Gazer.

"Rule thirty four of shinobi warfare," Anko lectured, smirking, "there are genjutsu for every situation, sense, and effect conceivable. However, if there isn't a genjutsu invented that does a specific task, don't expect that to last."

"Then I would be able to find or make a genjutsu allowing me to communicate with someone that doesn't know sign language?" I again asked.

My master looked at me thoughtfully, "Possibly, with a little effort involved. What brought this on?"

"There are those that may not know sign language, I may need to talk to them one day."

"Of course," she murmured, "silly me. I'll talk to you about that later, for now lets begin your next phase of training. How much do you know about making friends?"

"Friends are for the weak, only civilians and pathetic ninja have them." I asserted, proving how much of a ray of sunshine I was.

"Then what is Sasuke to you?" Anko pointedly questioned, receiving silence, "The weak and strong have friends and allies. The weak gather together so they won't be so vulnerable, while the strong gather to gain even more power. Why do you think we put most shinobi on teams, so they can whine and fight between each other?"

I waited for her to continue.

"I asked because to gain information, power, and influence you need to know how to connect with people. As you are you have the attitude and personality of a mindless drone. If you want to manipulate people into giving you what you want, you either need to know how to intimidate or to sweet talk. Once you learn the basics and I deem you adequate I'll drop you off somewhere in the city and have you try to glean something from a passing civilian."

I looked through the wall of trees for a moment, listening to the silence, "What would a civilian know that I'd want? They don't serve in the military, they're dead weight to a city."

Anko sighed, putting her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes, "Civilians are a necessary evil, brat. Without people doing all the administrative, maintenance, and whatever work that supports a city, Konoha wouldn't be what it is. Civilians run the banks, the shops, the restaurants, the places where shinobi go and relax. Without them morale would drop like a wingless bird off a cliff, or our military's manpower would get bogged down doing maintenance and other crap."

"...You have a point." I admitted, kicking myself for not realizing such an obvious truth, "But how would civilians know anything of military value?"

"Millions of ways, kid, secrets seep through any cracks. Maybe some high up official has an affair with a hot stripper and tells them things?" shrugging, she continued, "Sometimes they don't know any direct information, then you need to fish around and piece together seemingly minor tidbits of gossip. Regardless, you're never going to get information if people hate you and being around you."

"And how would I get them to like me?"

Anko smiled, "Overall you need to know that people love feeling important. From the highest emperor to the lowest beggar, everyone has an ego that needs gentle stroking. You need to make them think you enjoy being around them, that you're genuinely interested. Hang on their every word and pay close attention to everything they say. Get their personality down to the smallest detail and tell them everything they want to hear."

"The first thing you need to know is their name, simply enough. Even if you do everything else right, you can't remember what they call themselves and they'll still hate you. The sound of a person's name is like music to their ears, but be careful not to get too friendly too fast."

She cracked her neck and leaned against the trunk of a tree, "I want to see you smile real quick."

I complied instantly, painfully contorting my face.

"...okay..." my master breathed, holding back a snicker, "You look like some sort of mentally unbalanced serial rapist, stuck on the can with constipation. Work on that, 'cause the next step is to have a pleasant face and attitude. Oddly enough, people prefer talking to a person with a smile in their eyes rather than a disgusted sneer on their lips."

Anko paused for a moment, twirling her hair on her finger, "I should probably make it clear that I'm talking about people in general. Not every person is the same, some like talking to an unpleasant ass better than a grinning loon." a shrug, "Regardless, work on making your smile non-psychotic if you want people to feel at ease around you."

I nodded, prompting her to continue.

"Let's see..." she hummed, "Body language can make or break a conversation. When you want to look important and at ease, walk and stand brimming with confidence. Not only that but body language can be used to intimidate very effectively."

The coat clad woman imperceptibly shifted her body's stance, a sudden wave of unease washing over me.

"Among the less learned, what you're experiencing is called killing intent." she lectured calmly, "A common misconception is that its caused by a powerful ninja expelling chakra from their body. In actuality its just a few subtle shifts in the way a person carries themselves. An imperceptible narrowing of eyes, slight tension of muscle, a hint of aggression, and a host of other details trigger primal instincts in the brain. A person untrained to resist fear can experience the compulsion to flee or freeze up like a deer. There have even been instances where a skilled user caused heart attacks or strokes in the victim. This is one of the few communication skills you'll learn that has potential outside of intelligence gathering."

That, more than anything she said earlier, interested me. Anko shifted back to her previous stance, the pressure vanishing like it never existed.

"That's it for now, I'll tell you specifics when we begin. For the next three months, we'll do almost nothing but this."

A month later she dropped me off in the city with the explicit orders to glean some sort of deep dark secret out of a civilian. This proved incredibly difficult, because for some reason people feel uncomfortable talking to a naked kid covered in burn scars.

0o0o0o0o0o

"Is Konoha the most powerful ninja state because of the order and ANBU?" I suddenly asked over dinner, "I know I could beat regular genin and chunin with little effort, I've seen them. How can we be a viable military power?"

"How do you know the ninja you saw weren't order members?" Anko queried, leaning coat-less against a fallen tree trunk. She cut a chunk of meat off the huge tiger I killed and prepared, tossing the cooked flesh into her mouth.

"The way they walked and talked told me most genin weren't powerful." I shrugged, using one hand to ask questions. A constant, even flame emanated from my mouth, cooking my favorite cut of meat- the heart. I had to tear it in half twice so the literal bloody thing wouldn't snap the twig I stuck it on.

"The chunin acted more smoothly and efficiently," I signed, turning the twig over to heat it evenly, "but not enough to warrant any interest. It wasn't until I looked at the jonin that I saw the most dangerous, yet compared to you and Kakashi most walked uncoordinated. I know its possible, but difficult, to walk like an inexperienced weakling and still be dangerous- so I may be wrong. Regardless, I'm trying to say that the regular ninja are weak in comparison to us, that we must pull the most weight."

I cut the flow of fire, turning over the heart piece and taking an experimental bite. Hot all the way through, well done, the blood remaining within giving some extra flavor- just the way I liked it. Say what you want about any other cut of meat, to this day I still enjoy tiger heart with tiger blood sauce.

"ANBU and order members do most of the difficult or important missions, while most regular ninja do missions commissioned by civilians and the like." my master explained, burping and pounding her chest, "After all, why train up super powerful- city leveling soldiers then send them out to catch a runaway cat? To put it bluntly most of our military consists of throwaway canon fodder directed by the more skilled and intelligent. With agents working behind the scenes to make our casualties lower and tactical superiority higher than our opponents, we've yet to have lost a war."

"Has it always been like that?"

Anko nodded, taking a swig from her canteen, "Ever since Madara Uchiha founded the order."

"Never heard of him."

"Long story short he ensured our military superiority then turned traitor and got killed a long time ago. The powers to be saw the program's potential despite that and kept it going." she grunted, "So far foreign powers only heard whispers about our existence, which gave rise to a few counter ops designed to take us down. You have no idea the logistical and security nightmares we go through to keep them away from any decent intelligence."

Anko raised a dainty hand and ticked off one finger after another, "Intelligence puts military strength with Konoha first, Iwa second, Kiri third, Sand fourth, and Kumo fifth. Kiri and Sand are close to getting shunted back a spot by Kumo because of civil war and political turmoil respectively. Iwa has a weaker economy than Sand despite a larger military, and Kiri used to be the economic powerhouse before civil war set in."

"What about the smaller countries?"

"They're just for decorating maps mostly." my master shrugged, yawning, "They'd need to put their many differences aside and gang up on Kumo to get even a slim chance of winning a war. Without any evidence of an official or a shadow war, the worst Konoha needs to worry about is Akatsuki."

"I haven't heard of them."

"They're a terrorist group that made it their life's mission to destroy the major hidden villages, starting with Konoha."

"Are they some sort of problem?"

Anko shot a sharp look my way, "The heads of the group are all S-ranked criminals capable of going toe to toe with the Hokage himself. Two of them are from Konoha, Orochimaru of the Sannin," her hands tightened perceptively as she spat his name, "and Itachi Uchiha. The way they train recruits is on par with the order from what little we know. They have operations within every country, their income and expenditures rivaling that of Suna. So yes, you could say they're a problem."

I didn't flinch at the sudden intensity of her glare, "I suppose they are."

My master turned away, anger fading, "I've run into them numerous times. Their organization's sigil is a red cloud, so if you ever see it run your ass the other way. You're tough for a little brat, but you're nowhere near strong enough to fight one of their agents. I'm authorized to tell you only the bare details because chances are you'll run into them one day. Don't think I'm telling you this out of anything but necessity."

For some time we said nothing, eating and drinking our fill after an exhausting day training.

"Come on, its getting dark." she finally stated, "My presence can only dissuade the toughest predators for so long. Even I think twice about taking on the big boys."

0o0o0o0o0o

Three months later found us at our usual training spot. What time I hadn't spent learning of communication and manipulation I used to hone my mind and body. I honed my skills in infiltration, practicing against the forest's deadly beasts. I grew deadlier, quicker, quieter- my kill count rising with every hunt.

As I grew stronger I fought progressively tougher beasts. Night Shades scattered at my mere presence, giving way to apes that danced through the trees in swarms. Gazers came at me in packs, hoping to overwhelm me with numbers and cunning.

I asked and Anko explained to me the culture of the forest. The beasts, all intelligent, had separated themselves into several brackets. In some sort of sense of honor, pride, or self preservation the strongest only fought the strongest, the weakest fighting only the weakest. Some beasts fit into several brackets like the gazers, changing their method of attack when going after stronger hunters.

She said that they could also sense the strength of individuals, the bracketing only a wide categorization of strength. When I entered the forest only the weak bothered to hunt me, until I earned the attention of stronger predators.

Such an odd place.

Not only did my skill and strength change but my appearance. The habit of cutting my own hair out in the field gave myself a wilder look, my hair spiky and grizzled. I earned a couple scars here and there from the occasional accident on my part or from persistent predators. Oddly enough my skin somehow darkened in the forest's constant twilight. It would have made me harder to spot if not for my hair color.

The day came when my master announced I had become adequate at subtle manipulation. Again I faced an abrupt shift in training, this focusing on the most famous of ninjutsu; summoning.

"Do you know why most summoners need to make themselves bleed to call for reinforcements?" Anko asked early in the morning, "Its because as the fluid that gives life, blood is saturated with chakra. The summoned use that to pinpoint your location, appearing within feet of you at worst. Yet with proper training, skill, and control, its possible to summon without any blood."

I listened to her lecture as I tenderized another unfortunate tiger. Since my master refused to let me use any tools, I had to do everything with my bare hands. Bone cracked under my hands as I snapped them in two, slowly tearing its large corpse in half to make cooking it more manageable.

I paused in my work, raising my bloody hands to ask, "Say you used another's blood, like this tiger's, would your summon still appear?"

She shook her head, "No, but it won't matter once you master the art of summoning. We'll start practicing after we eat."

"You hinted a few times that you can summon more than just summons." I pointed out, momentarily working one handed, "What will I be capable of?"

Anko smiled at me, "Now that would spoil the surprise."

We didn't talk after that. I broke the meat into ragged steaks, cooked everything, and served breakfast. After I stowed the fur in my cave we began practicing. I went through the motions, thinking back to that spider I summoned in the Forest Tower.

I slammed my palm onto the ground, bringing forth a cloud of smoke that gave way to the larger spider. She looked up at me, appraising, as her mandibles clicked.

"Long time no see, summoner." she nodded at me then paused, "My understanding of humans isn't foolproof, I thought a lack of clothing is taboo among your kind?"

"We're in the Forest of Death as a part of training." I explained, "If I can conquer the beasts here without any tools, then I will be much more powerful."

She looked from me to my master, "So you're not courting her?" the creature asked, gesturing to Anko with one leg, "Humans are only nude with their mates, and both of you show a distinct lack of clothing."

"She's just my master." I explained evenly, "She instructs me, and this a part of-."

"Our love is so tender" Anko cried suddenly, clutching her heart, "but even among his friends he denies our relationship. You're such a cold and heartless man," she screamed, "yet I can't help but love that about you!"

Arms encircled my chest before I could fight back, "We'd fight the world for each other, Naruto!" she sobbed, "Don't deny it!"

As I gave my summon my equivalent of an exasperated look she nodded her head as if it all made sense now.

"So it is common among humans to mate with their masters." she murmured, "Perhaps that instruction book we found didn't lie after all? Still though, I wonder who this 'Jiraiya' is?"

I merely closed my eyes, "I summoned you because we're going to practice summoning and I wanted to give you forewarning. Don't be surprised if you pop in and out of this location every few seconds. Sorry about the inconvenience."

She nodded, "I understand, one can't master a method of fighting without practice. My name is Kirasi, if I hadn't mentioned before."

I nodded, "A pleasure." then dismissed her with a subtle handsign. Turning to look Anko in the eye, I asked, "Was that really necessary?"

Innocent, doe eyes stared into mine, "What do you mean, my love?"

I shrugged her off my shoulder, "That. What's the point in making my summons think we're together?"

She shrugged and grinned playfully, head rising off my shoulder for a moment, "It's just harmless fun. I just want you to get used to the dangers of being a smoking hot teenager, what with hormones flying all over your body. Being sexually confused can be fun, but it can get a little annoying when you get an erection from seeing a ham sandwich."

I regarded her for a moment, noticing her fingers slowly snaking down my front before I smacked them away.

She sniffed, offended, and let go, "Prude."

I handled Kakashi's constant porn reading, habitual tardiness, and numerous flights of fancy with nothing but a raised eye. The advances of a seeming nymphomaniac pedophile did nothing to faze me.

Then the day finally came when we'd leave the forest. I scrounged my cave top and bottom for anything useful, sticking all the furs and plants I collected into my gloves.

As we set off I asked Anko, "Can I have my supplies back?"

She tossed a scroll to me as we jumped from branch to branch. I opened it, read the seal that any competent ninja could, and pointed out, "Those spare sets of clothes I had isn't here."

Sealing scrolls could be read by anyone with the proper knowledge. When items vanish into an alternate dimension, several lines appearing on the seal that describes the items held within. Because of the gloves' capability to hold as much as an average scroll each, Kakashi taught me how to discern them. The gloves also had been keyed to my chakra, so no-one else could take anything from them.

"Yep," my master supplied, turning midair to face me, "that's because they're back at your house."

"And I suppose I'm supposed to sneak there naked, without anyone seeing me?" I asked, grabbing an overhead branch and swinging from it to the next, "Easy."

"Yep," Anko repeated, folding her arms behind her head and jumping backwards from branch to branch, "that sounds about right except the easy part. Remember, ANBU patrol the village, they're to report to me any time they spot you." she grinned lewdly, "Get spotted too many times and you'll get... punished."

I simply nodded, causing her to roll her eyes and continue, "Once you finish dressing report to the Hokage tower. We're going on a little adventure."

And so months of traipsing nude around a deadly forest ended, damning me to live in a city teaming with sheep guarded by wolves. However, to my pleasant surprise, we quickly set off on an adventure that sent us far from Konoha.

It proved a very enjoyable experience.

If anyone reading this is good at drawing I would like a picture of a grim faced Naruto throwing giant spiders at someone, preferably Sasuke. I'm thinking about making something like that Voiceless' picture.

Thanks to Feral Smile for letting me use the brick training device from his fic, Throwing Shadows. If you're in the mood for a gritty ANBU fic going over the Naruto world's special forces equivalent, then look no further. If you're too lazy or busy to search it by name its in my profile's favorites list.

Also, be on the lookout for a one-shot I may finish soon. Not going to give too much away, but its about a Naruto that gets interested in joining the Konoha Police Force at a young age.