Chapter 10
AN: So, I want to say thanks for everyone who continues to read this story. Especially my three constant reviewers: Kate, Slytherin Princess Jade, and GeorgeWeasleysgirl. I love all your reviews and am very thankful that you're sticking with me. And because I appreciate you all so much, I feel I should tell that since classes have started my life has gotten very busy. On top of school, I have work and volunteering. Because of these activities, I haven't had much time to write (and I feel VERY guilty about that). I want you to know that there are three more completed chapters, so you have at least three more weeks of regular updates. After that I can't guarantee anything besides that I will update as frequently as possible and that this story will not be abandoned nor will I just simply give up on it and do a really bad ending like I have with past stories.
Anyways, sorry for the long explanation. This story will be done, but updates may become less frequent as the semester progresses. I just wanted you all to know because I appreciate you all a lot!
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Alex, Dani, and Jacqueline are mine.
"Please Tom, just let them be. Our children are happy. Please leave them out of it!" the voice, her voice, pleaded with him for the millionth time.
"What I'm doing will ensure their safety," he thought back.
He had made so many mistakes. He had overlooked the possibility of Potter's mudblood mother dying to save him and the consequences of her sacrifice. Not only had he lost his body and failed to kill the boy, but it was he who had killed Jackie. He had thought that by binding her soul to his he could keep her alive forever. He knew he had messed up almost immediately after binding her soul. The more he tore his sole apart, the sicker she became. He was able to give her potions to keep her alive and slow her aging, but he was never able to ignore the changes in her. As the years went by she had less energy and became very despondent…and withdrew from him.
He grimaced, remembering how the deeper he got into the Darts Arts, the more she avoided his touch. He was not as deformed then as he was now. Yes, his eyes had turned red and his nose was flatter, but he had still resembled a normal man. No, it was not his looks. It was him. He had pried into her mind once while she slept. He was too cold for her, too inhuman. It scared her, what he was doing. She was constantly begging him to stop. He remembered her reaction when she started getting sick. She cried on and off for days and refused to speak to him. She told him that she did not want to live forever, that being with him—Tom, not Voldemort—was enough. He had not listened, thinking she was just overreacting. He would find a way to fix it, and she would come to see it his way. He failed her, and then he lost her.
"Tom," her voice was softer now, less urgent. "Tom, I've always loved you, and I always will. I know you're not proud of every decision you've made in the past, but now's the time to make up for those decisions. If don't try to take over the world, no one will want to kill you. You can live for as long as you want in peace, and our children can have happy, safe, normal lives. Isn't that was this was about? Be strong enough to keep your family safe? Starting a war won't keep them alive."
"ENOUGH! I am doing my best! They will be safe once they are here! Once I have taken over and rebuilt the wizarding world everything will be fine. They will be fine."
"You plan to kill a boy, who is a close friend of your son's and your daughter's boyfriend. You'll probably end up killing many of the people they care about. How are they supposed to be fine then?"
"They'll deal. I promised to keep them alive. Guaranteeing everyone's happiness is not always possible…Besides, you were supposed to be here," he added begrudgingly.
She was quiet for a quiet some time. He sensed all the emotions she was experiencing, and could tell she was trying to think of what to say to him next. Her presence in his head was much like her presence in the last few months of her life: sad and desperate. She was sad because she could not be with her children and she thought she had failed both them and him by not fighting with him enough. She was desperate to change things this time, and he knew she would always try to change his mind. He also knew that she could change his mind if her argument was logical enough.
"You may not be able to admit this to yourself, but I know the loss of our first child still haunts you. That wasn't our fault, Tom. It was my father's, and he got what he deserved. But if you continue on this path, you could lose another person you love; we both could. Could you survive another loss like that?"
"I survived losing you."
"You haven't lost me. You may not be able to touch me, but you can hear me and feel my presence and see me in your mind," she said, still speaking calmly to him, "you won't be able to do that with them."
"I promise to take care of them to the best of my ability," he thought gently. She was the only one who could ever calm him. The only one who was never afraid of confronting him in his rage. He missed her more than he cared to admit, but it is difficult to hide something from someone who lives in your head. "However, that's all I can promise."
She did not say anything, but in his mind he imagined her sighing in defeat…for now at least. She would never stop fighting him. And honestly, he did not want her too. He feared the day that he would not here her voice. Funny how she could still make him feel everything he claimed to be above.
"Why didn't you tell me about the fertility potion?"
"You would never have taken it."
"Why did you give it to me?"
"I thought a child would make you happy, make you better…make you like me again. Though, I had only thought about one child. I suppose the potion was stronger than I realized. Why didn't you tell me about Danielle?"
"Because you were scaring me. So many people were dying; I feared for my children's welfare…I always wished things had been different."
"I know. Me too."
"Just not in the same way."
"Maybe more than you think. I was close to being good once, you know," he thought jokingly.
"Perhaps."
"I will take care of them."
"I know."
"I…I love you, Jackie."
"I love you too, Tom."
