I laid back on the familiar leather couch against a sweetly scented god. Edward, my Edward. I felt whole, complete but something in the back of my head was yelling at me. It was the one that was scared to get hurt gain. I knew that if I got hurt again I wouldn't be able to take it. I would go to the Volturi and get myself killed. Maybe I could get another vampire mad enough that they would…
"What are you thinking?" Edward asked snapping me out of my death plans. I looked at him and suddenly felt uneasy. How could I know for sure he wouldn't leave again? I was so scared at that moment I wanted to attach to him forever.
"WHAT DID HE DO?" Jasper yelled running into the room panicking. "Edward take it back now!" What the hell was he talking about.
"Take what back?" He asked, looking at Jasper like he was insane, which was a possibility the way he was acting.
"Whatever you just did or said to make Bella feel that way!" Alice ran in panicky too.
"We are not reliving the last forty years! You guys can get couples therapy but please don't break up!"
"Break up?" I clutched onto Edward even tighter, what was going to happen. What the hell were they talking about. "NO!" I all but screamed putting my arms around Edward's waist as tight as I could.
"Bella, it's alright, love. They're crazy, you'll get used to it again. Remember when you first met them? Alice was very weird and Jasper wanted to kill you." Edward soothed me. I was feeling even more scared but as Edward rubbed my back that odd calm sensation came over me again.
"Again not me." Jasper said. "But Bella, why were you so scared and hurt and sad right before we came in if Edward didn't say anything or do anything? He didn't say or do anything right? Cause, as your older brother, I will kick his ass." Jasper said trying, and succeeding, to make me smile.
"No he didn't do anything, really." I smiled warmly and Jasper calmed down. I didn't just see it I felt it. It was cool and soothing. Edward was radiating of warm sweet stuff. I didn't really know the emotions. I cocked my head to the side as I let the warm fill me. So familiar and amazing and…
"Love!" I blurted out not thinking.
"Huh?" Edward asked.
"Love, it's the warm sweet stuff swirling around you." I tried to explain. He still looked confused. Then I felt that too, it was thick and cool. Like fog you can't quite see through, that makes sense.
"Love and confusion." I looked to Jasper who nodded. "That's what you feel." I smiled proud that I had figured out how to work this. I guess where I could mimic powers I could choose when to turn them on and off. Like choosing them whenever I wanted. I guess that's why I didn't always hear the buzzing in my head. I learned to turn it off. I didn't get visions all the time. I could turn that off too.
"Oh and what do you feel." At that moment I realized I felt love but I couldn't say it. Why? Well, hell, how was I supposed to know?
"Everything." I said. That was true, my whole body flooded with emotions. Jasper must feel like a walking hormone around me. I could see the disappointment in Edward's face. He wanted me to say it. I knew he did. But I couldn't. I smiled warmly and buried my face in his chest.
EPOV-
"Alice, be reasonable, it's been two weeks and she hasn't said it." I complained.
"Edward, she will, give her time, she's probably waiting for the right time." She said looking through her stash of clothes, apparently it was time we all got a new wardrobe. I wouldn't allow it if Alice hadn't said something about how I was being a shithead by not giving my clothes to needy children. Yeah, she's ridiculous but then Bella agreed as long as she didn't have to go shopping. So, I said why not.
"I've given her plenty of times. I say it a thousand times a day. You know why she hasn't said it. I feel it and she doesn't." I flopped down on Alice's too big bed so my feet were hanging of the edge but my back was still on the bed.
"She does, Jasper knows she feels it right Jazz?" Alice looked over at Jasper who was buried under his pile of new clothes that Alice was sorting through. She was making piles for her, Jasper and Bella and Rosalie was putting together the one's for her, Emmett and I.
"Of course she does." He agreed with Alice, like anyone wouldn't. She may be small but she's not the one to mess with.
"See Edward. Just because she hasn't said 'I love you' doesn't mean that she doesn't feel it." Alice was trying to get me to calm down. But it has been two weeks. Two weeks of me saying 'I love you' and her kissing me instead of saying it back. Before I could ask Alice why she wouldn't say it if she felt it she told me to basically shut up.
"She's going to be here in about a minute. She'll probably be able to hear us really soon." Alice said putting a pair of dark blue skinny's in Bella's pile. I waited until I heard her car coming up the driveway to run and greet her.
"Hey, love." I pulled the car door open before she even had the car in park. I undid her seatbelt as she took the keys out of the ignition.
"What's the rush?" She laughed as I pulled her out of the car kicking the door lightly to close it. I pulled her into my arms and held her for a minute. Love coursed through my whole body and I knew she had to feel it too, didn't she?
"I love you." I said cupping her face in my hands and looking into her eyes. Then she did it again. She leaned in and kissed me. I would call her on it if I didn't love being this close to her. And if I wasn't terrified of why she didn't say it.
BPOV
"I… I have to be home in an hour." Damn me and my chicken-ness. Why wouldn't it just come out. I knew this feeling all too well. Now it was just that much stronger and I didn't hurt whenever I thought of him. He was mine now, forever.
We walked into the house and I concentrated really hard on controlling my power. I can mimic powers and I learned that just because they're there for me to mimic doesn't mean I have to. I also learned how the warm lovely feeling that was always in the Cullen house was love. Jasper told me that you have to know all the feeling before you can change them. I chose to leave the changing bit to him, and the feeling them bit. I don't want to know what all the teenagers in my school feel throughout the day.
"Bella! I need your help! Hurry! I'm going to die, it's urgent!" Emmett boomed from the kitchen as soon as I got in the house. It probably wasn't that urgent but I sent Edward an apologetic smile then ran to the kitchen only to find Emmett smelling a sandwich.
"Oh, you're here." He held out two different sandwich's to me. "Which one is better?"
"Wait, what?" I was expecting something about an x-box malfunction or a broken something. Something he would need me to fix not a sandwich.
"I got put in study group and it's my turn to make the food. Last week Bradley brought cheese and crackers." Emmett said matter-of-factly smiling like he was a five year old.
"And why did you call me exactly." I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Well, I haven't eaten human food for a really long time, so I thought maybe you could try it." He pushed one of the sandwich's at my mouth trying to get me to eat the thing.
"You eat the damn think, I don't eat that stuff either."
"But you make it for Charlie and Jacob." Emmett said, smiling at the fact that he used Jake's name. We decided not to use the words mutt, leach, parasite, bloodsucker or pup.
"What did you want me to make? Dessert or healthy snack's?" Why was I constantly helping him get along with humans?
"Oooo, something with chocolate. Everyone loves chocolate." I huffed and started to make chocolate fudge brownies.
"Bella, love, why are you making brownies?" Edward asked coming up behind me and snaking his arms around my waist.
"Because Carlisle and Esme couldn't just stop after you and Rose. No they had to also have a child stuck in a man size body."
"HEY!" Alice yelled from up the stairs.
"YOU AND JASPER CAME HERE ALREADY CHANGED, CARLISLE DID NOTHING YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE, AND I WAS ONLY JOKING!" I yelled back up though I could've just said and she would've heard.
"OH, EMMETT NEEDS YOU TO FIX HIS GAME THINGER AFTER THAT!" She replied.
"See, he likes to torture me." I huffed and shoved the brownies in the oven then headed up to Emmett and Rosalie's room.
"Emmett, for the billionth time you can't throw it every time you lose." I muttered walking into the room and quickly putting the damn game system back together. It only took a couple of minutes. "All better?"
Emmett just chuckled and hugged me. "What would we do without you." I suddenly hurt a lot. In my chest and I knew why I couldn't say those three little words.
"Yeah." I said hugging him back then heading downstairs to see Edward. I had only been there for about twenty minutes but u had to go home and think things through.
"Hey, I'm heading out. I'll be back tonight, take those out when the timer goes off and don't forget to turn off the oven." I said pulling on the jacket I took off when I started baking.
"Why are you leaving" He replied sadly, scrunching his brows together.
"I just got to get home, cook for Charlie and Jake." I said, smiling, probably a sad smile. I didn't have it in me to smile right now.
"Oh." Was all he said. I bit the inside of my lip. He was definitely upset. If there was ever a time to say those three damn words it would be now. I opened my mouth to say them but couldn't get them out. So I did what I always did. I kissed him, as passionately as possible. And I felt the warm, happy, amazing feeling course through my entire body. How could I feel this but not be able to say it. His arms snaked around my waist and mine went around his neck. I started to walk backwards toward the door but he walked with me pushing me up against the wall beside the door. I pulled my head back for a minute kissing him chastely.
"I really should go." I muttered between kisses.
"A few more." Edward said kissing me again, bringing me back into my Edward trance.
"I have to…." I tried to tell him I had to go home but got lost in the kiss, pulling him closer to me. I liked being able to kiss him without him holding back. And he definitely didn't hold back. He pulled one of my legs up hitching it around his waist, pulling me impossibly closer.
"Ew, get a room." Emmet said from behind Edward. My leg dropped and Edward let out something that sounded like a growl. I looked up at him still in his arms and caught his gaze.
"One more?" He asked with a pout. I had to laugh. He sounded like a two year old. I pecked him once then pulled away fast. He didn't look satisfied, which only made me laugh even harder.
"What's so funny?" Edward complained.
"You look like a kid who just found out there's not Santa Claus!" I said between giggles. He made a mock shocked face.
"No Santa Claus? So Carlisle lied o me?"
"I really do have to go." I sighed when my laughter died down.
"Really?" Edward questioned with a sad face. I mimicked his puppy dog look and nodded, which only made his lip pout out further. I chuckled a bit and pushed it in lightly with my thumb. "Can I at least walk you out?"
"Hmmmm, well, I've been spending so much time with you that.." I tried my best to keep a serious thoughtful face but burst into giggles at his astonished face. "Sure." I turned around swinging my pony tailed hair in the same direction and intertwined our hands. He walked me to my car slowly as I enjoyed being close to him. When we got by the door I turned to face him and bit my lip. I knew he was going to say it and I knew I wasn't going to say it back. It was just that simple. I couldn't completely explain it to myself but I knew some of it.
"Bye Bella," He said pecking my lips. "I love you." There it was, the reason for my existence yet I couldn't find it in me to speak the three damn words.
"I know." I muttered as I opened the door and went to get in but Edward caught my wrist.
"That's not what I want to hear." He said looking into my eyes,
"No?" I said acting clueless. "What did you want to hear?"
"Don't play dumb Bella, I want to hear you say it."
"Say what?" Playing dumb was good.
"Bella…"Edward groaned though it seemed more like a whine to me. I bit my lip and looked down. Then it got really quiet, it was like in a movie when a character is in a fighting scene about to die, all sound stops and things move in slow motion. Edward cupped my cheek in his hand and stared deep into my eyes.
"I love you." He repeated, meaning every word. Then he just waited. After half a minute I looked down and his hand dropped.
"Bella… do you love me?" He asked sounding completely confused, frustrated, sad, anxious, stressed and worried all at the same time. I had no idea what to do. Why couldn't I just say it. Be ordinary? So I did the only thing I could think of. I went vamp speed into my car turned the key and through it in gear, driving 100mph above the legal limit away from the Cullen house.
