Love?

Chapter 11: Epilogue

"I was looking for sense in my existence. I have lost my innocence in doing so. I finished my heart without defense. I was looking for love and recognition. I paid the price of silence. You gave me a sense to my whys, like the need to be myself. You killed the fear, sleeping there, sleeping there in my arms.

"You're the one that's making me strong. I'll be looking, looking for you, like the melody of my song."

―"J'ai Cherché"/"I Searched" by Amir [English Translation]

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

"It appears that everything is sorted," Arthur comments into his teacup, sitting at the counter while Francis pulls honey from the cabinet for his own cup.

"What's sorted?" Alfred asks around a yawn as he walks into the kitchen and rubs a hand through his hair.

"Nothing, Amérique." Francis points to the coffee pot. "Allemagne was considerate enough to make coffee."

Alfred retrieves a cup from the cabinet and starts pouring the coffee. "Who's Alley Man?"

"Germany," Arthur mutters.

"Oh, cool." After the first sip of coffee, Alfred seems to change from a zombie to at least a koala as far as awareness. "Do you guys like dinosaurs?"

Francis frowns and furrows his brow, but Arthur just answers, "I'm indifferent to them, considering that they're extinct. Why do you ask?"

"Terra Nova is on Netflix again, so I'm rounding up people who want to watch it."

Francis pauses. "'New Earth', oui? What is it about? Other than dinosaurs."

"Earth is dying and stuff, so people go to a dinosaur world to live. It's pretty awesome, and I wish they would make a second season." Alfred scowls into his coffee mug. "It's like every good dinosaur show gets killed."

"Killed?" Francis repeats.

"Yeah, like they only made one season of Terra Nova, and then they killed off the main dude in Primeval, so I didn't want to watch it anymore after that. You can't just kill people." He glares at Arthur. "And you can't only air three episodes per season and wait two years between each season!"

Arthur rolls his eyes. "Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are very busy actors, and I do not control Sherlock's air dates."

Alfred mutters something under his breath.

Everyone ends up agreeing to watch Terra Nova in the living room. The space is slightly cramped, but everyone fits without too much issue, though Francis, Arthur, Matthew, and Gilbert have to fit onto one couch and Arthur complains about not wanting to be pressed so close to the frog, lest he be molested. Of course, he doesn't have any problem with Francis's arm around his shoulders when no one is looking. Matthew doesn't seem to mind Gilbert's arm around his own waist either. Meanwhile, Tino is comfortable in Berwald's lap in the armchair again, and in the other chair, Feliciano is copying the other couple, now seated on Ludwig with his arms around the blonde's shoulders. Lovino is sitting beside Antonio on the loveseat while Kiku and Dixie are in the other. This leaves the remaining couch for Alfred and Ivan to stretch out on. With Lapushka and Hero tangled up in their feet, of course.

The beginning of the first episode in interesting enough, but it isn't until the first dinosaur is shown that Ivan lights up.

"That would be amazing!" Ivan whispers in Russian to Alfred, who chuckles. On screen, the little girl is feeding small branches to a long-necked dinosaur.

"I didn't know you liked dinosaurs that much," Alfred replies.

Ivan nuzzles into the back of Alfred's neck and tightens his arms around the other's shoulders, but he keeps his eyes on the television. "Neither did I."

But then the scary dinosaurs come out during the next episode. When a person gets eaten in a sneak attack, Alfred and Gilbert burst in unison, "Oh!"

Lapushka cries and stalks up Ivan's body to his owner's ribs, where he lies down and licks at Ivan's jaw. The feline gives Alfred a look that clearly says that he is not doing a good job of something.

In Russian as to not embarrass his partner, Alfred glances over his shoulder and asks, "Are you scared?"

"No, don't be stupid." Ivan's eyes are barely peeking over Alfred's shoulder.

"Okay, so I'm not scared of ghosts and you're not scared of dinosaurs, right?"

Ivan grumbles, "I'm not scared of the carnivorous ones."

"Okay. I'll be your teddy bear when you're not scared, sunflower." Alfred smiles as the arms around him tighten.

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

That night, after Kiku, Tino, Berwald, the Italy brothers, Ludwig, and Antonio have left for the airport, Alfred brings together the remaining nations for a small dance. Matthew, Francis, and Arthur are staying for a few more nights, but Gilbert and Ivan have to leave tonight, and Alfred isn't hiding his unhappiness.

So the three couples are slow dancing in the foyer to country music.

"When can you visit again? Or I'll visit you," Alfred murmurs into Ivan's scarf.

Ivan slips his hands under Alfred's shirt and rubs his lower back. "The next world conference is in New York, da?"

"It's not until October though."

"I know."

"I don't want to wait that long. I can't wait that long. Waiting for April was torture."

"I know, myshka."

Alfred sighs.

"Do not worry about it right now. Relax." Ivan kisses his forehead. "You normally sing your country music to me."

"Don't wanna sing sappy love songs when you're going to leave in a couple hours."

"But I wish to take that southern drawl to my home with me, darlin'."

Alfred laughs. "So ya still like a country boy?"

"Of course. More than like."

"Well, if ya want me to sing, then I gotta oblige to my sunflower, ain't that right?"

Ivan smiles into Alfred's skin. "Da."

Alfred pulls away from Ivan's neck and loosely wraps his arms around the other's neck. "Well, I'm gonna live where the green grass grows. Watch my corn pop up in rows. Every night, be tucked in close to you. Raise our kids where the good Lord's blessed. Point our rockin' chairs towards the west. And plant our dreams where the peaceful rivers flow. Oh, where the green grass grows."

After the song ends though, Matthew says, "Al, this is just depressing. Get something through the speakers to dance to."

"Like what? Disney?"

Ivan thinks Alfred is joking. But then Matthew nods. And Alfred reluctantly releases Ivan and moves to where his phone is plugged into the television speakers.

"You're serious?" Gilbert asks the question before Ivan can.

"Dude, Disney is the best thing ever!" Alfred says while he fiddles with his phone.

Matthew nods and takes a step away from Gilbert, but he keeps their hands laced. "If you want to make it with me, you must understand that."

"He's not joking," Arthur says while Francis nods.

"It's for kids though," Gilbert says.

"So the music is crap?" Matthew scoffs. "Narrow-minded idiot."

"Preach it, Mattie!" Alfred cheers before music starts from the speakers with one sentence: "Tell me something I don't know."

Alfred moves back to Ivan and takes his hand before he begins some sort of dance. It seems to involve shaking hips and shoulders and randomly placed steps. "Everybody tells me that it's so hard to make it, it's so hard to break. Yeah, there's no way to fake it. Everybody tells me that it's wrong what I'm feelin', I shouldn't believe in the dreams that I'm dreamin'. I hear it every day. I hear it all the time. I'm never gonna amount to much, but that's never gonna change my mind. Oh!"

Then Matthew starts jerking Gilbert's hands back and forth and singing. His voice is just as loud as Alfred's somehow, and his smile…Gilbert swears he's melting. "Tell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know, something I don't know, something I don't know. Tell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know, something I don't know, something I don't know." His dancing is a little more coordinated that Alfred's. "How many inches in a mile. What it takes to make you smile." Matthew turns and presses his back to Gilbert's chest. "Get ya not to treat me like a child, baby."

"Tell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know, something I don't know, something I don't know," Alfred finishes.

Ivan and Gilbert very quickly decide that they like Disney music.

As the next song starts, Alfred looks to the couple stepping to the beat in the corner. "Come on, Artie; loosen up! I know you like this song."

Arthur scoffs. "Hardly."

"Yeah, right." Matthew changes his hip movement to the new beat. "We know that you're a rocker."

"The Jonas Brothers are not rock."

"But you know who they are," Francis says.

Arthur scowls, but doesn't object.

At the chorus, Alfred starts dancing with Ivan again. "I'm slippin' into the lava. And I'm tryin' to keep from goin' under. Baby, you turn the temperature hotter. 'Cause I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for you, baby."

And much to everyone's surprise, Arthur picks up the next verse and even lets Francis dance with him with the Frenchman's hands on his hips. "I fell so fast. I can't hold myself back. High heels, red dress." Francis rolls his eyes. Well, his shirt just happens to be red. "All by yourself, I gotta catch my breath."

Ivan hums and murmurs to Alfred, "Arthur is a good singer."

"Yeah, you should hear him play electric guitar."

The next song starts with a bunch of "la la la", and Alfred laughs, "This one's yours, Mattie."

"With pleasure," Matthew all but purrs, and Gilbert reaches for his waist for another dance. The Canadian laughs and slaps the hand away with a little grin before he starts singing. "Why am I always hit on by the boys I never like? I can always see them coming from the left or from the right." Even as Matthew dances around the room, Gilbert follows him, and Arthur rolls his eyes. "I don't wanna be a priss; I'm just tryin' to be polite―" Matthew lets his admirer pull him to his chest before he pushes away. "―but it always seems to bite me in the―

"Ask me for my number; yeah, you put me on the spot. You think that we should hook up, but I think that we should not. You had me at 'hello'. Then you opened up your mouth. And that is when it started going south. Oh!"

Matthew laughs as Gilbert catches him by the waist and twirls him. This time, Matthew doesn't pull away, even if the lyrics tell the opposite. "Get your hands off my hips before I punch you in the lips. Stop your staring at my―hey! Take a hint! Take a hint! No, you can't buy me a drink. Let me tell you what I think. I think you could use a mint. Take a hint. Take a hint!"

Ivan is content to let Alfred sit out on singing this one. "Contradictory, is he not?"

"Yeah, but he's also the opposite of what everyone thinks, so it fits." Alfred laughs. "Besides, Prussia's still chasing him, isn't he?"

"A valid point."

Oo_oO_Oo_oO

Lapushka and Hero say their goodbyes via meows and licks on the head before the Russian cat is put in the car. The ride to the airport is spent in silence, but it so short. By the time Ivan is ready to board his flight, Alfred thinks that only minutes have passed.

"Text me when you get home," Alfred says.

"I will."

Alfred throws his arms around the other and buries his nose in that faded scarf. It smells of wood fire and sunflowers, even after a week away from its home. Taking a deep breath before he lets go, Alfred stares up at Ivan and says, "I'm supposed to say that I love you now, right? Isn't that what couples do?"

Ivan smiles and kisses Alfred's crown. "Christmas Eve at my house, we fell asleep on the couch together and I let you touch my back. Do you remember?"

"Yeah, of course. It was kind of a big deal."

"And I told you then that the complexity of our relationship will never change."

"Yeah. You're right, I guess." Alfred smiles and laughs. "But it's not that. I mean, if I say it, that means you're gone." Then he looks down at his feet. "Geez, I sound like a school girl or something."

"I do not mind."

A pause.

Alfred finally leans up to give Ivan a quick kiss on the lips. "Have a safe flight. I love you, sunflower."

"I ya tebya lyublyu, Fredka."

And just like that, he's gone. Alfred sighs.

While he drives home, Alfred turns on the stereo and plays "Ain't No Thinkin' Thing" by Trace Adkins. A small smile pulls at his lips.

On the plane, Ivan closes his eyes and leans his head back on the head rest. One hand slips under his scarf. The little sunflower charm is warm from being pressed to his skin.

Author Note: And that's all Crow wrote! I just thought of that, and it amuses me greatly. Anyways, keep an eye out for the next part from Lapushka's point of view―Of Heroes and Kitty Kings―because it will up next Friday! And if you a) enjoyed the chapter or b) think I'm awful at writing endings, please, Please, PLEASE REVIEW!

"Where the Green Grass Grows" by Tim McGraw

"Tell Me Something I Don't Know" by Selena Gomez

"Burnin' Up" by Jonas Brothers

"Take a Hint" by Victoria Justice and Elizabeth Gillies