Tell Me Lies (Sweet Little Lies)

Dean woke in a cold sweat. He bolted upright, rolled from the bed and landed in a fighting crouch in one smooth motion. He stared around the room in total confusion as his heart almost painfully hammered beneath his sternum. It took several moments for the pieces to fit; the dull light from beneath the curtain on the window, the strip of light from under the door, the bed, the smell of sex and the vague familiarity of a roadside motel room.

He straightened and rubbed a hand over his face. He glanced at his watch and frowned. It was early, seven thirty, and he wished he was still sleeping. He shivered and moved toward the bathroom. He could hear the shower and he smiled as he pushed the door open.

"Dean?" Logan poked her head around the curtain, soap in her hair and a smile on her face. "Didn't mean to wake you."

He smiled, kissed her nose and motioned to the toilet. "Didn't, have to take a leak." It was true, but it wasn't what woke him.

She nodded and ducked back inside the shower to give him some privacy. "You sleep okay?" She asked as she rinsed her hair. "It felt like you did, but you never know, right?"

Dean finished at the toilet and shut the lid. "Yeah, slept good." He watched Logan move behind the curtain. "Mind if I join you?"

"Knock yourself out." Logan worked conditioner through her hair and stepped aside so Dean could get under the spray. She smiled when he pressed against as he moved past her.

Dean turned his face to the spray and let the water smooth away the last bits of sleep. He shivered when Logan's arms moved around his waist. "You sleep okay?" He asked, pulling her arms to his chest before he turned to face her. He rested his chin on her head.

She snorted and shook her head. "I don't sleep anymore." She looked up at him. "Not really well anyway."

He pivoted, so that her back was to the spray and she could rinse her hair. "You used to sleep well?" His words were half question – half statement.

She leaned into the water. "Yeah, well things got really confusing." Her words were simple, but the meaning heavy and she heard him grunt in reply. She wiped water from her face and leaned into his solid form. "You're back, things should be better now," she paused and looked up at him slightly unsure, "Right?"

Dean watched her face; once again confused. He pulled her against him and kissed her forehead before resting his chin on the top of her head. "You mind telling me what that was about last night?"

The gnawing sensation in her gut intensified and she kept her cheek pressed to Dean's chest. "What about it?" She was buying time and she knew it. She pulled back just enough to look up at him.

He sighed and smoothed hair from her face. "The whole promise thing; it wasn't like you." He kissed her forehead. "I love you Logan, but promises for the future aren't us."

She shook her head and looked away with a sigh and pulled from his arms as she moved out of the shower. She stood on the small paper bathmat and grabbed a towel. She wrapped it around herself and turned to the sink. Her voice was quiet. "What if they had to be?"

Dean heard her speak, but not the words. He pulled the curtain back as he rinsed his soap covered head. Water sprayed onto the floor and he smiled when Logan cursed at him. "What did you say?"

She turned on him, hands on hips, tears in her eyes. "I said; what if we had to make promises about the future? What if you had to promise me tomorrow and the next eighteen or so years?"

Dean finished rinsing his hair and then turned off the water. He gave her an odd look, reached past her to pull towel from the chrome rack on the wall and wiped his face. "What the hell are you talking about?" He waited on her answer while he toweled his chest and arms dry? He noticed her tears and frowned. "Damn baby, what's with the crying?" He wrapped the towel around his hips, secured it at his waist and reached for her even as her words moved through his head. Worried excitement settled in his gut.

Logan let Dean settle her against his chest again and she hated herself for feeling so weak. She hated that she kept crying. "I'm sorry. I don't want to cry, I hate it." She loved the way she felt in his arms; better, calmer, and stronger, but she didn't like needing him to feel that way. "I don't know how to tell you."

He frowned again before pulling back and lifting her face to his. "How about just saying it?" He stared into her eyes and saw the war she was having inside herself. "Just tell me Logan."

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Yesterday when Castiel spoke in that strange language, he told me something; something that I should have already known, but that I wasn't willing to admit." She closed her eyes, took another breath and swallowed. "That last day in the abandoned house…the last time I was with you…we, ah…" Her voice trailed off as her throat tightened.

Dean's grip tightened on her hips, his heart skipped a beat and he felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. He scanned her face, saw her lips tremble as she fought for control. "Shit Logan, we said goodbye and I never thought to…we didn't use anything."

She nodded and looked up at him. She reached for one of his hands and slid his palm across her hip to the small, barely there swell above her pubic bone. She sniffed. "That's what Castiel told me, Dean." Tears fell from her eyes, slowly running down her cheeks. "He told me I was pregnant."

He swallowed, nodded and a huge smile spread across his face. He released his held breath. His hand curled possessively and protectively over her belly as something primal rose up from inside him. "You're sure?"

She laughed nervously. "Angel's don't tell everyone they're pregnant, so yeah…pretty damn sure." She was confused by his reaction. "Dean, please tell me what you're thinking. I'm scared to death, worried sick and terrified. Please tell me you still love me."

He pulled her against him and laughed before bending to kiss her quickly. "Yes, I still love you." He kissed her hair and her face. "Why would you think I wouldn't love you?"

She sighed in relief and shrugged, guilt still heavy in her gut. She'd told him this much, but she knew things still might get worse. What if it wasn't Dean's? She gripped his arms and fell against his chest sobbing with relief and guilt at the same time. "You were always careful. We hunt, I know how you feel about life and hunting and everything this lifestyle brings with it. I was just afraid…"

He pulled back. "Have you seen a doctor? You need to see a doctor." He moved into the bedroom and started digging through his duffle. He found his shaving kit and was back in the bathroom in under twenty seconds. "Logan? Hey baby, you haven't, have you?"

She stood where he'd left her. "What?"

He gave her a lopsided smile as he smoothed toothpaste onto his brush. "I asked if you'd been to the doctor, said you need to get to a doctor. You need vitamins and good food and rest and shit Logan, you need to be careful." He paused, toothbrush in mid air as his face paled. "Oh my god Logan, you can't be doing this anymore."

She shook her head and grit her teeth. She knew he'd say that and she held up a hand. "First, I know I need to see a doctor and I will. I'll start vitamins and I'll be careful, but fuck it all Dean…" She moved to the sink and pulled her own toothbrush from he make-up bag. She flipped off the cover and angrily grabbed Dean's toothpaste. She glared up at him as she squeezed out a small dollop of Crest. "I'm not giving up hunting until I have to." She stared at him as she thrust her toothbrush into her mouth and began to brush. "You're nob gonna twell mwe to gwive thab up." She said around the brush.

Dean watched her take her frustration out on her teeth and he shook his head. He knew he said the wrong thing. She was right, he really couldn't tell her what to do. He sighed heavily and held up a hand in surrender. "Okay, I'm sorry. You're right, I don't have any right to tell you what you can and can't do, but don't expect me to keep my mouth shut if I think you're putting yourself or the baby in danger. It isn't going to happen." He brushed at his teeth for a few seconds watching the stubborn line of her back relax a tiny bit before the sick nagging in the pit of his stomach finally took on the shape of a thought. He paused his tooth brushing. "Baby, don't take this the wrong way, but I was gone four months and…" He wasn't sure how to finish his thought. "I mean, if you…I'd understand if there were other people."

He waited, stomach rolling as he watched her eyes meet his in the mirror. Needing something to do, he forced his hand to move the toothbrush over his teeth, trying to look as if it didn't matter, but knowing that it did. Somehow it mattered and even though he was holding himself to a separate standard, he hoped she would reassure him.

Logan swallowed and almost gagged on the toothpaste laded saliva she attempted to get down. She bent over the sink and spit before rinsing her mouth and straightening to turn to face Dean. She watched him brush his own teeth. She wanted to lie, but when her eyes rose to his, she knew he saw it. "Dean…" She cursed silently at the tears, the damn tears, and she made an anguished sound in her throat as she struggled to pull herself back together.

Dean felt the small pain in his heart and he hated himself for it. He knew it wasn't fair to feel the way he was feeling, but jealousy rose up inside, dark and ugly. He pulled the toothbrush from his mouth and moved to the sink to rinse. His movements were mechanical, routine things done every day, but the thoughts in his head were anything from routine. He nodded, dropped the toothbrush into his shaving bag and pulled his razor from inside. When he felt his hand shaking, he dropped it back inside and as if nothing were unusual, he used his deodorant and zipped the case closed before leaving the bathroom.

Anger made Logan quick and she caught his arm before he'd gone two steps. "Dean?" Her voice held a desperation that she hated.

Dean spun and looked down at her. He pushed a hand through his still damp hair with a sigh. "God Logan, I need some time." He turned to his duffle and pulled out clothes while he glanced at the clock. "I'm going to get breakfast. I know Bobby said nine, but that really means eight thirty." He pulled on shorts and jeans and then sat to pull on socks before tugging a t-shirt over his head. "I saw a donut shop down the street. Coffee and donuts sound good."

Logan watched as he shoved his feet into socks and boots. "Dean, I'm sorry." She announced sincere but unsure of where she stood. When he didn't acknowledge her, she shifted from foot to foot while holding the towel to her chest. "I was hurting and lonely. It didn't mean anything and I really hated myself afterward." She dropped her eyes to the floor wishing he'd say something; anything. "You said you'd understand, but even I don't understand."

His eyes flittered to hers before he rooted in the bag for a clean button down. He pulled it out and let it drop and unroll before slipping his arms into the sleeves. He stopped and looked at the woman who stood where he'd left her. She looked young and scared and he knew he should reassure her. Inside he knew. He knew it was his with a certainty that surprised him. He'd already made a decision. The baby was his and there wasn't any way to change that now.

He sighed and took the three steps to Logan. He cupped her chin and lifted her head until her eyes found his. He gently wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. "Logan I'm not going to say I like the idea, but I understand." His eyes dropped as memories rose up inside. "I wasn't exactly a monk either." He glanced up at her and then closed his eyes against the guilt, pain and then the pity he saw there. "Shit baby, don't look at me that way. I saw too much guilt and pain downstairs and I don't need your pity." He wasn't angry. He cupped her face in both his hands and bent over and kissed her lips softly. He pulled back, his breath puffing over her lips as he spoke. "It doesn't matter, okay Logan. It doesn't matter baby." He kissed her again, this time taking the time to taste the toothpaste inside her mouth. He slid a hand down her hip to her belly. His eyes were on hers. "I'm with you, no matter what."

She bit her lip and nodded as a few stray tears fell from her eyes. She let him pull her against him and she clung to him franticly. "I'm so sorry, I was drunk and it was stupid and it shouldn't have happened." She pressed her face into his chest. "I promise it didn't mean anything."

Dean held her, his one hand spread over her stomach and his other moving up her back. He pulled back, glanced at his hand and then looked in her eyes. "It's mine Logan." His eyebrow rose sharply. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded and wiped at her eyes. "Thank you." Her voice was quiet. "I really think it is yours. I want it to be yours. It has to be, but…" Her voice trailed off and she lifted the towel to her face and wiped her nose, laughing at how silly she must look. She kissed his cheek before looking to the clock. "You better get those donuts; Bobby will be here in thirty."

He smiled, even though he didn't really feel like it. He meant what he was telling her, but there was still a nagging feeling of disconnect in his gut. "Cream no sugar, but half decaf." He eyed her with a mischievous look.

She landed a slap on his shoulder and pouted. "Damn it, I need my caffeine fix."

He grabbed his wallet and keys from the table. "And you'll get it, just not full strength."

She grunted and watched him leave, her heart lighter, but her conscious still heavy. She watched him turn at the door, wink and then he was gone. She grabbed her duffle and found a pair of black cargo pants and an old black and grey camouflage t-shirt. Then she dug through the smaller pocket on the side and snagged a pair of panties and a bra. She slipped her clothes on, then moved to the bathroom to dry her hair.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean was back before Bobby knocked on the door. It was eighty thirty eight when Logan opened the door to find her uncle and Sam on the other side. She waved them in and watched as they dropped their bags by the door. She hugged Bobby. "Dean got coffee and donuts." She kissed his cheek and gave Sam a stiff smile before turning to where she left her coffee.

The toilet flushed, the water ran and Dean came out of the bathroom whistling and holding his coffee. Sam pulled a face. "God Dean, please tell me you weren't drinking that on the toilet."

Dean gave Sam a stupid smile and took a big sip. "So, should I tell you that I ate my second donut in there?" He winked at Logan and laughed when Sam gave an exaggerated gagging sound.

Bobby laughed around a jelly filled donut. "Sam, you should know better by now."

Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed a simple glazed donut from the box. He dipped it into his coffee and took a bite. Then he dumped four little cups of cream and two sugars into his coffee. He stirred it with a little plastic stick and took a sip before nodding. Then he bit into his donut. "You guys ah, get any sleep?" He chuckled.

Dean grinned like it was Christmas morning. "What? You didn't hear us two doors down?" He winked at Logan and drank his coffee. He sat on the bed with Logan beside him and watched her out of the corner of his eye as she picked at the last bit of the muffin he'd brought back for her. They hadn't had a chance to talk much before Bobby and Sam arrived, but Logan asked him not to say anything. He agreed, but only because she practically begged him.

Logan was only half paying attention as her uncle went on about what they needed to research and what route they were going to take home. She finished the last of the muffin and was startled when Dean suddenly stood. Her arm jerked and coffee splashed onto her hand. She frowned and moved to the bathroom to grab a towel, "Shit Dean, what the hell?"

He looked at his watch and then grabbed his duffle and Logan's duffle. "We're burning daylight." He pulled open the door and motioned to the parking lot. "Need to get the trunk organized." He moved out to the car.

Bobby grunted, finished his coffee and dropped his cup into the trash. He grabbed his bag and then glanced to Sam and Logan. "He's right. Let's get moving boys and girls." He smiled, lifted his bag onto his shoulder and followed the younger hunter out the door.

Logan realized she was alone with Sam and she offered him a tense smile. "I better make sure I got my shit out of the bathroom." She headed to the bathroom and went through the motions of checking the counter and the shower. The room darkened and she knew Sam was standing in the doorway. She sighed and looked up at him.

"You didn't tell him." Sam watched her flit nervously and then he sighed and shook his head. "Then when?"

She pushed past him. "Damn it Sam, just let it be for a minute." She grabbed her bag from the bed. "Let me process and figure out what to do and find out who it belongs to first."

Sam grabbed her arm and tugged her close just before she slipped from the room. He glanced out the door, making sure they were still alone and then bent close to her ear. "He has a right to know and you need to watch out for yourself. No dangerous shit anymore Logan. No smoking, no drinking, no doing all the risky shit you do on hunts."

She glared up at him and then snorted. Her voice hissed at him as her anger and stress found a target. "What right do you have to tell me what I can and can't do?" She yanked her arm from his grasp. "I was never more than a fuck to you Sam, so drop the weird boyfriend act."

He glared at her and grabbed her arm once more, his grip tighter than it really needed to be and he knew there would be bruises. "What right?" He laughed almost bitterly. "Never more than a fuck, huh? That's almost funny." He shoved her arm from his hand. "You're my friend, I care about you, we've been through hell together and you might be carrying my child." He shoved a hand through his hair. "Fuck, if it's not mine it's my brother's. So you tell me how that makes you just some random fuck?"

She swallowed and refused to cry. "You know what I mean Sam." She looked at him and shook her head when he held his hands out for the keys. "No, I'm driving. I need time to think and I need the space." She slapped her keycard into his hand. "Take care of that for me." She moved past him and then down the steps.

A/N:

Okay, here we are again. Thanks to everyone who's reading. I'm still working things out with school...damn thing, but things are moving along toward the end of the semester. I hope things are better for writing this summer, because fall is going to suck.

So, let me know what you think and I'll get another chapter ready for you all. THANKS!!