okay, it's been a while, and i'm getting bad at this because my computer, her name is Isabella "Bell" Taylor Dell, got sick and we had to take her to JDomingers Hospital For Electronics, and then Joe couldn't fix her and so he sent her home to die w/ her loved ones before my mother, Dr. Dragomir called Dell's family (her biological family) Dell Corp. and then they lended a bonemarrow or something and fixed her - my computer.

Let's all take a moment of silence to digest the weirdness

Dinner is quiet, so it's unusual for the Trager household. Lori eats her food slowly, thoughtfully and answers every question after being asked a few times. Josh is trying his hardest to take small bites really fast without Stephen or Nicole to notice. They notice. Nicole keeps on looking over at Kyle who has this far away distant look in his eyes. A glorious look. Stephen looks at Nicole looking at Kyle and wishes she would butt out of it.

Jessi eats alone at her apartment because Maria is working overtime for a friend at Borders. All she is eating is a box of macaroni and cheese with a glass of coca cola. Her mind is wandering so far away it's a wonder her head doesn't split to a million, tiny little fragments. She's thinking of Kyle, wondering if he's thinking of her, about their night that will soon start.

Foss is around…. Somewhere.

Detective Knight is eating at the police station where only a few other people are staying for dinner. It's either those really dedicated to their jobs, those who know they are sleeping on the couch tonight, or those who don't have someone to order them to sleep on the couch. The janitor is there because his step mom took away his x-box. Detective Knight eats Macaroni and Cheese also as he peers at the computer. It's fairly simple, emails about where to be, what to watch, and who to locate in that weird instant messaging language, a calendar with only dates of dentist appointments and professors, and porn. Detective Knight doesn't buy any of it.

Josh is the first one to finish, not unexpected. He tells his parents that he is going to go play videogames as he stands up out of his chair and walks out of the dining room.

"Tell Andy hi," Stephen calls out as Josh walks up the stairs. Under his breath Josh mutters shit in a tired voice. He still hurries up to his bedroom to go on his laptop and see Andy though. Like any other teenage romance. Besides Jessi and Kyle's, though. Lori leaves her plate on the table, barely finished, tells a lie about going to do homework when truthfully she is going to go call Mark. Her pillow talk buddy. Kyle grabs their plates, along with his and goes into the table to wash the dishes. Even in a hurry, he's still sweet.

Nicole takes the moment as her first chance to be alone with Kyle since she kicked Jessi out.

"Hey," she says in her soft, motherly voice.

"Hello," Kyle says as his back straightens and he turns his head to look at her. It's the first words he's said to her all night.

"I thought you were going mute, usually you are so animated during dinner," Nicole laughs a little bit but it comes more awkward, more forced than usual. She stands on the other side of the counter of Kyle as he washes the dishes speedily but effectively. He slows down a little bit for her sake.

"I think you've gotten me confused with Josh," Kyle says with a forced smile in a light hearted way. Nicole doesn't take it the resilient way Kyle intended though.

"Kyle…" She struggles to find the right words. "I know it's been hard on you since Jessi moved out, but its better this way. Honestly, the house is too small for all of us alone and yet with another person here," Nicole exclaims.

"We could have made it work."

"No, we couldn't. Not while your hearts are entangled in such a passionate way," Nicole says with a hint of tiresome in her voice. She doesn't want to talk about this, she wants it to go away but she knows better than to believe that it will. "Kyle, you know I love you. I don't even have to think of you as a son because I feel it in my heart."

"I know, Nicole," Kyle tells her. "I appreciate it," he truly does but right now he wants to be with Jessi.

"Kyle, Jessi's not good for you. You deserve someone who will make you happy, who will –"

"Jessi makes me happy," Kyle interrupts her without thinking. Still lost with that one word he continues. "Jessi makes me feel like I'm alive, willing to do anything. She's beautiful, and smart, and stubborn but it's who she is. I don't want to change her; I just want to be with her." He finishes.

"Kyle," Nicole says, her lips now pressed in a tight line. "Are you still seeing her?" Kyle's hands have stopped washing by now and he grabs a towel to dry them. He thinks about telling Nicole, or not telling her. Kyle would never lie to someone if he had another choice but he's lied before for Jessi.

"Yes."

"Oh Kyle," Nicole starts but then Stephen walks in. He is bringing in his own plates. He had the decency to finish his food. He looks at Nicole and then at Kyle before he puts two and two together.

"Kyle, I can get those, why don't you go on up and get some homework done," Stephen is being sarcastic and Kyle knows it. Homework is the key word in this house for sneaking around to see your soul mate. Kyle leaves the dishes in the sink and leaves without looking at Nicole. At this moment he knows that someday he'll have to choose, his family, or Jessi. He just wishes that one day Jessi can be a part of his family again.

Nicole turns on her heel to look at Stephen who is glowering down at her with his eyes.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to force him out?" Stephen hisses at her so no one else will hear. Kyle can hear them.

"I'm just trying to explain myself, my reasoning's to him." Nicole pleads. "The boy needs to understand we are only looking out for his safety!" She adds in her own hushed voice.

"It's Kyle. He's not a boy, he has gone through more terror, more sorrow than we could ever imagine. Hell, I still can't wrap my own head around it most of the time but he's a part of this family now. Look Nicole, you can't just draw people into our lives only to push them out after time. It happened once, it's not going to happen again," Stephen storms out of the kitchen upstairs to his own bedroom.

Nicole doesn't know what to do, or what to say. She just stands there for a while.

Kyle sneaks out of his house through the famous window. Amanda doesn't see him though, she's playing her piano. Kyle takes in the sound of her beautiful music. He misses it, the soothing melodies and bridges. Somewhere in his heart there will always be Amanda. There is always a first love that stays with you, no matter what happened or when it did. He only hopes Jessi understands that.

Jessi is on her couch doing homework she didn't do the night before. She doesn't like school, the work is easy but it's boring to her. The only truth behind her going is Kyle. And Lori. And Declan. And even Hillary. She has friends, even though she would never admit to being Hillary's friend but it makes the difference. Someone knocks on her apartment door, her mind immediately thinks of Kyle. She jumps up out of her seat and walks to the front corridor. Next to the door is a mirror and she takes a good, deep look before opening the door. The lip gloss Hillary helped her pick out, combed hair and every inch of makeup intact.

She opens the door with a smile but it soon vanishes.

Nate is standing before her. His shaggy long brown hair is distinct along with every outline of his face. Jessi locks her eyes with fury and sets her mouth with anger. It doesn't take long; after all, she's damaged. The word runs through her head, it makes the blood in her veins speed up, her hear pound louder and every ounce of adrenaline in her body to wake up.

"Hello Jessi," Nate walks into her apartment after tearing her arm off the door. "Mind if I come in?" He asks sarcastically when he is already in. "Oh, I already am," a list of words hustle through her head ; dirt bag, idiot, asshole, moronic, butt face, imbecile, and many making its way at the speed of lighting.

"Hello asshole," she responds when she finds the perfect word to fit him.

"Aw, a little sensitive, are we?" Nate asks as he walks around the apartment. Jessi wants to cut out his throat with her teeth and feed it to the night but waits. She doesn't know why she waits, but she does. "I came here to make an offer," Nate tells her. "See, I want those papers back, the ones you stole from me?"

"You mean the ones you took from Cassidy?" Her throat burns at the sound of his name.

"He's dead. Your boy killed him."

"Cassidy was going to kill Kyle!" Jessi steps forward, ready to throw a punch and not miss.

"He would never!" Nate says in an equally toned voice. "Cassidy would never kill his own brother," Jessi takes a step back. Not physically, but mentally. Whoa – brothers? What the – how the – Kyle wouldn't – Cassidy isn't Jessi thinks to herself. Nate sees her eyes pondering the thought and so he takes out the knife from his pocket and raises it only an inch into the air. "Kyle's the monster, you see, and he's going to pay," Jessi's eyes notice the knife lunging towards her stomach but her reflexes are much faster than this guys. Nate's name doesn't exist for her anymore, he's just an enemy now and there's only one thing you do with them.

Promptly, Jessi takes hold of Nate's wrist and twists his arm against his back. Within a few quick strides she has him pinned against the wall with his pocket knife in her hands. Jessi carefully lets one of her arms release him with the other one still in place. She raises the knife to his cheek and can feel his fear breathe out of his mouth and into the icy air.

She pushes him to the floor. He looks up, confused, dazed and extremely pissed. His knife is still in Jessi's hand and Jessi looks like the goddess Athena. Of war. Her eyes could be black and held with a deeper past than anyone could imagine. Nate isn't stupid or a coward, at least, not yet. He reaches into his shoe on his left foot to pull out a gun. Raising it into the air he points it at Jessi but she doesn't hesitate, she doesn't fear, she simply stares. All it does it click when he fires it. Jessi's other hand opens up to reveal the bullets in her hand. A wicked smile crosses her face. Nate scrambles up to his feet and runs toward the door.

Jessi is faster. Stronger.

She makes it there just when he is at the door so she can pin him up to it. Her arm at the base of his throat. Jessi now sees how useless he can be, how scared one man, no, one boy can get when you take away his protection. Nate's eyes are wild and petrified as he looks into Jessi's calm, encouraged, and black eyes. She looks hungry to him. Hungry for a kill.

"Ever even think about pulling something likes that again, and I'll kill you," she threatens, then let's go of her hold on him, opens the door and pushes him out. Leaning against the door she takes a few deep breaths and then looks into her mirror. Her fingers run through her hair a few times and her hand then brushes the black halter top down. She pats her jeans to get rid of the wrinkles and spots. The doorbell rings. Jessi answers the door and this time it's Kyle.

"Hey," she smiles sweetly. Kyle walks in, puts his arms around her waists and starts to kiss her. Jessi closes the door behind them.