Here is the next chapter – very safe to read... darn it! No flashbacks, it's just Kory and Richard beginning to reconnect and heal.
.
Politics As Usual
.
Chapter 11
.
I wondered if Richard was remembering things the same way I did that first night we spent together as lovers. His look of longing with a flash of desire told me that he remembered what happened: the evening that we met for the first time the future President, the then-candidate and former Governor Howard Burton Hudson at a fund raiser was also the first night we made love.
Dinner had been wonderful but our discussion had not touched on the 500 lbs. gorilla in the room that is Congresswoman Barbara Gordon, and now that our plates were cleared there was a not so confortable silence between us. Not that the restaurant itself was quiet.
Even though the restaurant was relatively small, maybe seating 100 or so, it had become completely full on that Friday night and there was a particularly raucous group at the atelier. This was hardly a Benihana or similar teppanyaki restaurant and the chefs were not playing to the crowd, but that hadn't stopped this bunch from cheering on the kitchen staff. I could see the host and the manager casting looks on the group of paying customers, coming up with the best strategy to get them to settle down. It was an awkward situation I could live without witnessing.
"Why don't we have dinner and coffee upstairs?" Richard suggested. "The room service menu has better desserts anyway, not just sorbets and tarts."
"Sounds good," I replied, relieved but suddenly feeling shy. I wished yet again that I had already found out where Babs and Dick were in their relationship before we went up to our rooms so I could know where Richard and I stood. A slight twinge of both dread and excitement hit me. Other than coffee and dessert, what else was going to happen when we got upstairs?
TtTtTtTtTt
Dick checked us in and the bellman accompanied us to our cars for our luggage. In spite of what I am sure is usually excellent professional behavior by the hotel's staff, the bellman gave Dick an odd look, which I read as 'are you crazy?' when he realized we each had our own suite. I had to fight to hide my smile when Dick gave him a very hard look. But Richard being Richard, I'm sure that he still tipped the bellman well even with the lapse in decorum.
"I'm going to get settled Richard," I said once the bellman was gone. I needed to regain my composure a bit. Plus my heels were getting to me. Even after all these years of wearing them, I really could only stay comfortable, if that's what you'd call it, for a few hours. Who designs those horrible things? "Would you mind if I change?"
Richard gave me a look that I was sure was desire, "Not at all."
I went into my suite, resisting the urge to look over the room's many amenities and got down to work unpacking and figuring out what to change into. I'd brought plenty to wear – from a little black dress to sweats and everything in between. I had also brought along an assortment of lingerie and sleepwear.
I decided I was leaving nothing to chance, that when in doubt, go for the more conservative look. I changed into velour pants and a very soft cotton/cashmere blend long sleeved shirt with a fairly deep v-neck. It was a casual and touchable outfit, all the way down to my chenille socks. Once changed, I checked myself in the mirror: it wasn't the most flattering thing I could have put on but still not bad. It was certainly safer but less fun than a nightgown or even pajamas and we were having dessert, not going to bed. There was no way I would want to look over-eager or otherwise embarrass myself.
Plus, no matter how tempting it would be, until I was assured that Dick and Babs were completely broken up and that Dick and I had a future, I did not want to pursue a physical relationship with him. Our relationship had never been casual and I was not going to let it be that way, not now, not ever. I was sure that Richard would feel the same way.
I must have stood in front of the door that joined our two suites for a full minute before knocking. Finally I did knock and Richard greeted me immediately. He had also changed, looking comfortable and as handsome as ever in jeans and a pullover. The blue of the shirt nearly matched the color of his eyes. I watched him as his eyes raked over my body. His eyes darkened markedly. I guess he was fine with my choice of oufits. I was pleased I hadn't disappointed him, but again, no matter what his reaction, what mattered most was if Richard was truly free for us to be together.
Simultaneously, I said "Richard, we need to talk-" and he said "Kory, we need to discuss-"
I felt heat on my cheeks and Richard blushed slightly. "Ladies first," he said.
"Richard, uh, why don't you go first?"
"All right Kory, I'd like to talk about us."
Us. I liked the sound of us.
"I'd like to talk about us as well."
He drew a breath, "Why don't we sit down?" he motioned to the sofa behind him. His suite looked about the same as mine, and it had a separate bedroom from a living area.
"Certainly," I replied.
I took a seat near one of the ends of the sofa and Richard sat fairly close. It reminded me of when we used to sit and talk on a bed or sofa. I drew up my knees under me and turned to face him as I always had. He smiled, likely at the familiarity of my position.
There was a knock at the door. Richard reached over and squeezed my hand, "That must be dessert. I hope you don't mind that I went ahead and ordered for us."
He answered the door and the bellman rolled in a cart with a full coffee and tea service and three covered dishes.
"Let's see what we have here," Richard said with a smile, beckoning me over.
I stood at his side as he lifted the covers of the dishes, "Devil's food cake with peanut butter sauce, hot apple pie a la mode and finally, strawberries and Chantilly cream."
Strawberries and cream – nothing like feeding that to each other... wait, what?
It turned out that we did share our desserts, keeping things playful which meant whip cream on the nose instead of being licked off fingers. It was definitely intimate but not necessarily sexual. Fun but odd...
I sipped my decaf tea. I thought about the Chamomile, but I didn't want to fall asleep. Not that I wasn't revved up being with Richard, I was just so relaxed and comfortable with him, even after all this time. Again, odd...
"I guess I'll just ask you," I said, surprised it was me asking first, "where do we go from here?"
"That's up to you, Kory."
"It is?"
He took my hands in his and looked into my eyes. "Yes. I know we have a lot to discuss and when I asked you here this weekend, I had hoped to have things more settled than they are..." he paused, looking uncomfortable.
"With Barbara?" I prompted.
"Well, yes. Kory, I was planning on making sure Babs understands that it's over between the two of us, that I'd have moved out or be in the process of moving out by this weekend. However, she wasn't going to hear it at first and then she got called back to Washington."
"You still live with her?" I didn't hide my hurt.
"Not as a couple, but technically our home, I mean that home, is my address."
"Oh." I felt tears sting my eyes.
"But I was staying in a hotel when I was in Westchester."
I only nodded. I had to remain cautious.
"I should have removed all my things previously from that house, I was busy, but I broke my engagement with Babs, I intended to leave, it was unfair for me to leave my things there."
"Uh-huh."
"It was my intention all along to leave. Things with Barbara didn't change because of you."
Ah, the classic quandary: I wanted his life to have changed because of me, but I needed things between Dick and Barbara to have been at least in the death throes.
"Kory, I do want you to know that I've arranged to have my things moved to Jason's."
"In DC?"
"Yes, in DC."
I smiled at the prospect and my mood definitely improved. This conversation was quite a ride emotionally. Not that it surprised me, I knew the whole weekend would be.
Richard gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I am going back to California on the red eye flight on Sunday and I'll be back to stay on the 15th of next month. It's just about four weeks away and then I'll be back East, back in DC for good."
I hugged Richard, but not quite in the over enthusiastic way that I did when I was younger. It was such a relief hearing all that. We did have a fighting chance. But I also knew it wasn't going to be that easy. I let go of Richard and sat back a bit. Even hugging him my brain got a little foggy, just like it always had.
"May I ask what happened between you and Babs?"
Dick straightened up, "Why Babs and I broke our engagement?"
"Well, further back, like why you two got engaged in the first place." I thought for a moment as Richard collected his thoughts. I needed the complete picture to move forward, be it closure or the rekindling of my relationship with Richard. "Actually even earlier – why did you start dating her?"
His face was soon marred by a sad smile, "I think you and I are still putting the pieces together, but it seems that I was misinformed or mislead."
"About Lucas and me?"
"Yes."
"Where did you hear that we were going out? Who told you?"
"Well, I saw you at the function after the Governor's Ball together. I wanted to go over to ask you about it, but didn't get the chance that night, being pulled here and there by different people, you know how it is. And then the following week I saw you and Lucas talking and dancing when a bunch of us went over to the K Street Bar and Grill."
I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remembered what had happened that night, "Richard, Lucas and I went as friends to the Ball and then with a whole group of us to the K Street. I remember Lucas was bugging me to go over to talk to you, that you and I barely ever saw each other outside of work, and that it was a chance for us to talk. But you left before I got up the nerve."
"The nerve to talk to me? Didn't you know you could always talk to me? How special you are to me? Kory, no one could ever take your place."
Now tears did fall, "I doubted it back then."
"Oh God, I never stopped feeling close to you, even when our only contact was almost exclusively professional."
He hugged me gently and kissed my forehead, and then wiped my tears. We looked into each other's eyes for a bit, and I thought he might kiss me but then stiffened and looked away. It was obvious he had come upon a harsh memory.
He balled his fists slightly, "I was so upset because I thought you and Lucas were a couple." He paused, looking pained as he saw my tears starting to fall again. "As it so happened, Babs had called that evening and left a message while I was out at the K Street. I started to talk to her about it when I called her back, and that's when she told me that you two had been going out for some time."
I felt a flash of anger, but kept it hidden as best I could, my sadness still overwhelming. "So you took her word, and didn't ask me?"
"To be honest yes, but I don't know why I did. You cannot imagine how bad I feel about that now."
"Believe me Richard, I can."
"As it so happened, I had been trying to get up the nerve to ask you if we could get back together. It was nearly election day and I didn't want to wait any longer for us to be back together, so the thought we had waited that long and then you had moved on..."
My tears fell in earnest, pretty much it was as if a dam had burst, and I began to sob. I couldn't help it – I was so sad for the lost time, relieved that the misunderstanding was cleared up, and to top it off, I couldn't bare seeing the sadness on Dick's face.
"Kory, shh, it'll be okay," Dick said as he pulled me close, stroking my hair. We sat there for a bit and then he repeated, "It'll be okay."
"Wi-will it?" I asked between so bs, "Wha-what about Babs?"
"Kory, m'love, as far as I am concerned, it is over with Babs. Everything will be fine now."
I nodded yes in agreement, but still had to ask, "What about Babs, I mean why did you start seeing her?"
"I was so hurt initially and I sought comfort in her arms," he said, which needless to say really hurt, not that I could have cried any harder than I had been. "We got along well. We had similar interests, similar backgrounds. Long story short, after Hudson left office and I wrote my book, Babs ran for the congressional seat and won. We split our time between DC and Westchester. We eventually got engaged, bought a house together, but Kory, it never felt right. I never felt about her the way I felt, the way I feel about you."
"Really?"
"Of course, Kory. So I thought about it and knew it wasn't the right thing. I wasn't going to settle. Even if you and I never got back together, I was never going to be truly happy with Babs.
"Right before I was going to tell her I wanted to at least take a break, I got the call from Governor Schwarzenegger's office. Needless to say, she was very upset. It was horrible. I broke our engagement but didn't move my things out. It was wrong for me to do that, but we were going back and forth with what to do with the house. I wouldn't mind buying her out but now I think she was just stringing me along, that she could convince me to stay with her after I got back from California."
"But is it really over? Are you sure?" I hated asking again, but this was too important.
"Yes, it's over and I'm sure. I just wanted to remain being friends with her and I was so busy that I just left my things there."
"Were you going to call me?"
"I wanted to, but Babs told me you were still with Lucas."
"What? That's crazy! Why would she say that, and what would she know about my life?"
"I don't know."
"And you didn't even want to talk to me about it?"
"I'm sorry Kory, I don't know why I didn't talk to you directly about it."
But then I realized, "Lucas did only came out about six months ago and yes I was still out and about with him, but usually in groups including Apollo."
"So may be she misinterpreted it?"
"Maybe." I was skeptical but I didn't want to put Richard in the position of feeling worse or possibly getting defensive about Babs.
We sat quietly. My tears had stopped, although I probably didn't have any left, and I sipped my now cold tea. Dick got up and poured himself a fresh cup of decaf.
"Isn't your tea cold Kory?"
"Oh, it's fine," I replied, still numb from the conversation.
"You want a fresh cup?"
"Sure, thank you."
He brought me my cup, with just the right amount of sugar. I was finally beginning to accept that I probably did mean as much to him as he did to me. That was an overwhelming notion, but one that warmed me to my toes.
He handed me the cup and sat down next to me, even closer than before. I took a sip, it was perfect.
"So where does that leave us this weekend?" I asked.
"I know what I'd like, but what do you want Kory?"
"I'd like to get reacquainted. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here."
"But..." He said, knowing there was often a caveat. He knows me too well.
"I think we should take our time," I couldn't believe I had said that. Much of my body couldn't believe I had just said that.
He looked relieved, "That was what I was going to suggest."
I have to say that surprised me, but it was a pleasant surprise.
He continued, "I just don't think I'd want us to rush things and come Sunday that I'd be leaving for a month. I think we should get to know each other again and if everything goes well this weekend, when I move back to DC, we'll really start things up again."
"That seems like a good idea," I replied, but had to ask, "Is there anyone you're seeing in California?"
Dick almost spit out his coffee, "No Kory. There really wouldn't have been time, but also there was no one that interested me. Plus Babs had me a bit scared off from all women."
"You're joking."
He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, another mannerism that was so familiar to me, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Nah... at least I don't think so." He drew a deep breath, "And Kory, you said you weren't dating."
"No, not recently."
"I read something about you and Keith Olb-"
I cute him off, "It is over between me and the-person-whose-name-will-not-be-spoken."
He laughed. "I'm especially relieved to hear that," he said, and pulled me into a cuddle.
"Me too."
We snuggled on the sofa and Richard would give me a kiss on the cheek or forehead, and we sent each other shy glances. It was comfortable, it was wonderful.
I yawned and stretched, and Dick watched me, desire in his eyes again.
"I better get some rest," I said, looking away. I wasn't sure if I could make it back to my room if I saw that look again in his eyes. Mostly because I didn't want to go back to my room.
"Really? I thought you could stay up as late as you wanted?" he teased, cupping my chin, trying to get me to look into his eyes. Stinker.
"Guess I am getting old," I replied, still diverting my eyes
"Hardly."
He shook my chin and I looked up briefly before I yawned again. "I better get some sleep."
Honestly, I was fighting a headache, not that I wanted to mention it. I had taken Excedrin earlier – I get 'Friday Night Migraines'. Just when the stress ends and you let up, they hit, whether it's at the end of a long work week or after the end of a stressful situation. I'm sure Dick would remember, and he would probably remember I tried to hide them too.
"Head-achy?"
"Yes, and tired."
I shifted to get up. Dick pulled my hand back toward him.
"Please don't go."
"Richard..."
"Nothing will happen, Kory, I just need you close. Like when we were first going out."
"I don't recall that nothing happened back then, Richard."
"True, but there were those first few nights we only kissed."
"That was twelve years ago and we were young and had just met. I don't want things to get out of hand. It would kill me if they did and then we didn't work out."
"They won't get out of hand Kory, I promise. And don't you realize that I think we will work out, that I hope we'll work out. I just want to be near you, to hold you. We've been apart too long."
The last night we had been together was the night of the second Hudson inauguration, a night we both had mixed feelings about, but that's another story for another time.
"I don't know-"
My protest was silenced by a firm kiss on the lips. Definitely not a brush of the lips, but Dick did not move to deepen it either.
I pulled back, "Richard," I breathed, suddenly more than a bit dizzy, having somehow forgotten the intensity of how it was to be this close to him.
"Kory," his voice was now very husky, "let me convince you. I need to be near you. I don't think we should make love either, but I want to be close, I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too," this time I initiated the kiss, and happily let him deepen it. It felt as wonderful as it always had. We hadn't been a couple for roughly twelve years, but I never forgot how it felt to kiss him, to be in his arms. It was where I belonged, and it was where I believe he thought he belonged as well.
TtTtTtTtTt
To Be Continued...
TtTtTtTtTt
Thank you for reading and please review!
