WARNING: For details on overall warning, see Chapter One. Also in the
warning: lots of stupidity and senseless mayhem ahead! Beware!
Author's note: Even if it's getting harder to post regularly, I'm trying to combat this lack of updating (and thus deter the event of Black Rabites of Doom appearing on my soon-to-be-demolished-anyway doorstep) by a nice big long chapter. Please don't get used to them, but feel free to enjoy them! I hope this story doesn't become too silly, because I am beginning to think my standard is dropping dramtically. I only ever get good ideas on rainy days, though, and since it hasn't rained here for about two months (damn drought!) my creative juices are drying up. Time to go do a dance to the rain gods I guess.
Extra-special Author's note!: Even though this is a little pre-emptive, I am now taking votes for what you guys want the final classes of Duran, Angela and Hawk to be. The classes probably won't be a big issue in this, but people like their say and far be it from me to deny you your rights as reviewers! I don't have too much of a personal preference anyway, so please, vote away, knock yourselves out!
Response to Reviewers! (Thank you all. You have become my reason to get up each morning):
Rosa-Aquafire: I'm glad you like the personal responses, I find it to be a more rewarding experience for both the reviewer and the writer if there's actually more than a one-way communication. Besides, I like to defend myself and my stories and thus validate my existence as a fanfic writer. For example, fair enough point about Riesz's character (or Lise, if you prefer), but I figured that she seemed like the type to have a bit of a temper, and being abandoned in Jad then dumped in a prison cell she probably wouldn't be in a gentle, shy and sweet mood. Besides, it's hard to write (I find excuses for everything....) Anyhow, thanks very much for the review as always!
Serenity-Wheeler: Thanks for the review! Even if it's just to say hi, it's always to good to hear from you.
ChibiCharizard: Months to write two pages, I don't feel so bad about delayed updates anymore. A lot of people seem to be used to the name Lise, but dang it, I had to go get the Japanese version from somewhere first, didn't I? Anyhow, I hope people can put up with that, because it's far too late to change. Thanks for your review!
Solarious: Of course Angela has to get all the bad luck in the world, it wouldn't be funny otherwise (insert evil laugh in your choice of spelling here). I'll have to think about making a chapter on violent and temperamental Princesses, hmm...... I'm still working on ideas for Kevin's characterisation, which is probably why he's had about three lines thus far. Ah well, I have a few more chapters before I have to start worrying about it again. No! Keep the Rabites of Doom away! Hurry up and GROW, Mana Beast, we don't have much time! Excuse me, I'm going to have to go raise the Mana Fortress to hurry things up a bit.
Wingnut: I fear the day Minerva makes her appearance. Love hearing from you guys, you inspire me for some reason. My dance to the rain gods doesn't seem to be working, want to ask one of your buddies to do something about it?
As usual, thanks to all the reviewers! Hope you enjoy the chapter, though I really wonder how ANYONE can find this funny anymore....
_______________
Another Witchmaker
Chapter 11 - Tournament of the Exes
By Sinnatious
************
Angela didn't think she'd ever been quite so happy to get off a boat. At least, that was until they arrived in Maia. The Princess had done her fair of travelling before, but never before to so many small towns filled with questionably sane people in such a short time.
"At last! I'm so looking forward to sleeping in an inn!" Angela announced. "Then off we can go to find Gnome! Think of how much more it will hurt when I have GNOME's magic, Hawk."
Hawk massaged his neck with a scowl. "Magic is cheating."
Duran was busy talking to one of the hands on the dock. He followed them a moment later. "If we want to get to Gemstone Valley, which is where the Fairy thinks the Mana Stone Gnome is protecting is, we'll have to find some other way because all the paths are supposed to be blocked off from the road. That guy suggested we try Bon Voyage."
Lo and behold, right next to where they were standing was a house with a sign out the front saying 'Bon Voyage's Amazing Inventions'.
'Well, that's convenient', the Fairy commented from inside Angela's head.
The magician almost had a fit. 'What are you doing inside MY head again! Out, out!'
Hawk was busy opening the door. Duran, being polite as usual, said, "Um, shouldn't we knock?"
The thief shrugged. "The door was unlocked."
"How did you know?" Angela demanded. "Are you trying to rip off houses and innocent people in Maia, too? I bet some old granny in Wendel is STILL looking for her purse!"
"Hey, if you're so righteous, why are you using that cane I bought you with that money then?!"
'I think he has a good point, Angela,' the Fairy agreed.
'When will you start learning that I don't CARE what you think?' Angela mentally hissed back. Instead of answering Hawk, she simply flounced into Bon Voyage's house - and immediately ran into some strange woman.
"Hey, watch it!" she said, cradling her head after the blow. The woman simply smiled and apologised. Well, this certainly couldn't be Bon Voyage, but for good measure she asked anyway. "Are you Bon Voyage?"
"Why no! Bon Voyage is out the back, working on his new invention. You can go see him if you wish," the anonymous woman said. She hid her face behind her hand and giggled, making eyes at Duran. Well, that certainly wouldn't do - Angela grabbed the Knight and dragged him out with her before either of them could get any ideas. Hawk said something that was probably along the lines of an innuendo to the woman before following them out back as well.
The portly - oh, who was she to be tactful, he was downright fat - and short man was hard at work on what looked to be a giant cannon. Wanting to be sure, Angela asked, "Are you Bon Voyage?"
No response.
Annoyed, the Princess repeated, "I said, are you Bon Voyage?"
Still no response.
"HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
Finally, a response. He turned to her. "Oh, why hello there pretty miss! I'm afraid you have the wrong place - the brothel is down the road."
The Fairy erupted into laughter. Hawk was grinning too, until he saw her face and what had to be the beginnings of a dangerous spell combo. "Ack, no, don't kill him Angie! We need his help!"
Angela struggled to release her arm from Hawk's grip. "Let me hurt him! Just a little bit!"
Bon Voyage, in the meantime, was regarding them with a puzzled look. "Is something the matter?"
Duran, being the Mana Knight and all, figured it was his Knightly duty to step up while Angela and Hawk argued in the background. "Bon Voyage, sir, we're trying to find a way to Gemstone Valley, and were told you might be able to help us."
The crazy inventor's face positively lit up at this. Angela, having calmed down enough for Hawk to let her go without fear of her harming anyone bodily, tapped her foot impatiently. Bon Voyage starting jumping up and down in excitement. He was even more hyperactive than Carlie.
"Why, yes! At last, someone to help me test my new invention! It's almost finished, but first I'll need some gunpowder! Once you have the gunpowder, come back to me!"
At that, he turned around and began working on his invention with a renewed enthusiasm. The three were left standing and staring at him.
When it appeared that he wasn't going to say anything else, Angela walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and looked at her. "Um, excuse me, but where can we get some gunpowder?" she asked.
Bon Voyage just continued looking at her, scratching his head. "I'm sure I've seen you somewhere. Ever been to Maia before?"
Angela struggled to reign in her already thoroughly tested patience. In fact, if it weren't for the presence of Duran she might have killed the Inventor by now. "Once. But my question was: where can we get some gunpowder?
"Yup! Gunpowder! Need it to work! I can't send you anywhere until I have some gunpowder," Bon Voyage said.
"But where can we get some?!"
The odd inventor just stared at her again with a curious look, as if he couldn't comprehend the words she was saying. Finally, Angela gave up. "Never mind. I'll ask someone else. It could be days before the message reaches your brain."
Bon Voyage just gave them a cheery wave as the three intrepid Mana heroes tiredly left the house, Angela being sure to steer Duran safely past the woman hanging around in the kitchen.
They stood out the front of the house for a moment, feeling a bit lost on what to do next. Duran finally spoke. "Where can we get gunpowder?"
"Hawk," Angela suggested, "Don't you have some underworld buddies stocking that kind of stuff somewhere?"
The thief scowled, kicking a loose stray stone. "I did. But this is Maia, and all the contacts I have here would probably hand me straight over to the thieves guild if I went there asking for stuff. The bounty on my head's probably bigger than anything I can steal in this little place."
"You're an outlaw. That's cool!" Duran said in an effort to cheer him up.
It seemed to work. Plastering that permanent smile back on his tanned face, the Navarrian replied, "It's sure to attract the ladies! Speaking of which, if we want to find some other place to get some gunpowder - I highly doubt the local store will sell it at any price we can afford - we should go hang out at the inn."
"Good plan," Angela said sarcastically. "If we're going to get information off anyone, it'll be off a bunch of drunks."
"Drunks talk, my fair Angie," Hawk said, gallantly leading the way.
"I remember once when I had too much I confessed to my aunt that King Richard used to have a crush on her," Duran commented.
"Really? Wow, you must be in good with the King if that's the case," Hawk replied. "If I ever did anything like that to Flamekhan I'd probably be beheaded. These days, anyway."
Angela dropped back as the two men walked ahead, regaling each other with drinking stories. The inn seemed like a good place to go after all - maybe if she got Duran drunk, she might actually get to first base with him or something. Nothing like alcohol to drop a few of the inhibitions....
They arrived at the inn and went inside, sitting down and ordering a drink and a meal. The hot food was most welcome, after eating their rations for the past few days. It wasn't so bad, travelling like this - heck, she was even starting to think Hawk came in handy every now and then, even though she'd probably prefer being alone with just Duran.
'How come you never count me in any of your equations?' the Fairy whined inside of her head.
'Because you are an annoying pint-sized insect, that's why!' Angela retorted. 'Get back into Duran's head already!'
'I can't!' she wailed. 'There are people here, they might see me!'
So she was stuck with the insect for even longer then. That was just great. When had she snuck in there anyway? Duran was the chosen Mana Knight, she ought to just stay in his head! Or stay in Hawk's for a change, but she kept insisting that she refused to share a skull with a thief.
Sighing, Angela almost didn't notice the guy who had pulled up a chair next to her until he'd started talking.
"Angela, long time no see," he said with a leer.
She stared at him, perplexed. "Who are you?"
The man managed to look offended for a whole two seconds. "You mean you don't remember me, Hector? After that fantastic night we spent together?"
Angela was trying to rack her memory from her long list of nights out getting drunk in foreign cities. "It can't have been too fantastic, I'm drawing a blank here." From the looks of this guy, her standards obviously dropped a lot when she drunk and lonely.
Putting a hand on her knee, he leaned forward, "Well, then why don't we get reacquainted?"
Face quickly getting red, Angela eyed her staff which she had foolishly left by the door next to Duran's sword and their bags. "Hands off, pervert! I've got bigger fish to fry than dealing with drunken idiots in bars!" She cast a glance over to where Duran was chatting with the waiter. Why didn't he say something? Come on, Duran, she mentally cursed, this is your cue!
'Hector', if that was his real name, didn't get the hint. He simply moved in closer, saying, "Aw, come on, Angela, let's run off together. You were quite happy with the idea last time."
Dang, being sexy all the time had its drawbacks! "Lay off already!" He still didn't get the hint.
Suddenly, 'Hector' became still and pale when a short curved blade was held within an inch of his throat. "Why don't you get the hint that the lady isn't interested?" a very pissed-off looking Hawk intoned.
The strange man pulled back carefully. "Sorry, sir."
Hawk turned to her. "What's your problem, Angie? I get blasted by a spell for making harmless comments and some guy hits on you in a bar and you just sit there? Are you delusional or something?"
"I was waiting for Duran to step up, and you ruined it, you idiot!" she hissed back. Duran apparently still hadn't noticed what was going on, even though the waiter he'd been talking to was staring at the thief with a terrified expression. He was still stuck on the thought of tracking down some gunpowder - that was Duran, complete dedication to his mission.
Suddenly grinning, Hawk withdrew his blade. "Oh. I get it. Well then.....," he said, turning back to 'Hector'. "You really interested in Angela?"
The guy had more nerve than she thought - he nodded, though still kept his distance from this scary individual. "In that case," Hawk proclaimed, "You can have her- IF you can beat THAT guy in a sword fight!" The thief gestured to Duran with a flourish.
"Hawk! What are you doing?" Angela protested, even as Hector's, and several other vaguely familiar-looking males' faces lit up.
Hawk grinned. "You wanted Duran to fight for you, didn't you? Well, here you go."
"Fine!" Hector agreed, standing up. "I will win the lovely Angela's hand in battle! I'll duel with that bozo tomorrow at dawn, in the town square!" With that, he strode out of the bar.
"Hey! Hey! I'm not gonna be some prize for a swordfight! Is anyone listening to me?! HAWK!"
Hawk was observing his handiwork with a satisfied smirk as the bar quickly emptied. Duran finally noticed what was going on. "A challenge? What?"
"Duran! You mean you didn't hear it? That guy challenged you to a sword duel, and if you lose you have to hand over your knighthood AND they'll run off with Angela and the Fairy and you won't be able to save the world!" Hawk explained.
"What? No way!" Duran looked alarmed.
Patting the Knight on the back, the thief reassured him, "There's no need to worry, all you have to do is beat him, right?"
The Forcenan immediately relaxed. "Oh yeah. Thanks for watching out for me there, Hawk."
"No problems!"
'Dirty stinking filthy rotten liar,' the Fairy commented somewhere inside her head.
'How do you think I feel? I'm the prize in some orchestrated sword fight now, and Duran doesn't even know I'm the prize he's fighting for!' Angela complained. Out loud, she commented sarcastically, "Good one, Hawk. That was just what I wanted."
"What?" Hawk asked innocently. "You have a problem with it?"
"Of course I have a problem with it! How stupid are you?! Your brain would rattle inside a flea's skull!" Angela yelled.
Hawk protested that, of course. "Fleas don't have skulls!"
"Rrrrgh, I can't take this anymore! I'm going to bed!" Angela announced, and stalked off to sleep, stopping by Duran to drop off the Fairy. Duran said goodnight himself, then started talking to Hawk about the upcoming duel the next day. Nothing like a duel to excite a Knight, she supposed. Maybe Hawk really did know what he was doing.
That idiot? Nah. He just screwed everything up.
Angela hardly slept three hours that night, though, anxious about the next day. To say she wasn't concerned about the welfare of her big crush would be lie - even though she knew he was a competant swordsman, she'd never seen him against another swordsman yet, and she had no idea of how good that Hector fellow whom she had supposedly seduced at one point, possibly years ago, was at swordsmanship.
Dawn came with Hawk dragging her out of bed and down to the town square where Duran was already prepared for the day's duel. This had absolutely nothing to do with their quest, why were they wasting their time with this? The Fairy was probably annoyed, too. And after that whole affair in the inn last night, they'd completely forgotten to ask anyone about where they could find some gunpowder!
Seating herself on a barrel in a good position to watch the fight, the Princess glared daggers at the thief. "If this doesn't work, then you are aware I'm going to kill you."
"Aw, come on, Angie, have a little faith in Duran, won't you? He's the Mana Knight!"
'That's right,' the Fairy agreed from inside her head.
Again, Angela had to suppress the urge to have a fit. 'When did you sneak into my head again?!'
'Shhh,' the deity shushed her. 'It's starting.'
Hector and Duran both raised their swords and bowed to each other. Angela suppressed a yawn from her sleepiness - she'd seen plenty of magical duels while she had been the Princess of Altena, and sword duels weren't that much different. The only thing that made this one interesting was that her honour was at stake and it had Duran in it. Still, if things went wrong she always had her magic - she could just blow the place to smithereens and abscond.
'I don't think that was what Wisp had in mind when he bestowed his magic upon you,' the Fairy said from inside her head.
The Princess paid her no heed as the clash of two metal swords drew her attention. Duran and Hector locked blades and strength for a moment. Then, just as quickly Duran brought his sword under the block, knocked it to the side, and thwapped Hector on the side of the head with the flat of his blade. Angela clapped and cheered. "Go, Duran!"
Hawk, being the self-appointed umpire, stepped in and dragged a dazed yet uncompromising Hector off to the sidelines, returning to hold Duran's fist in the air in triumph. "The Great Knight of Forcena wins! Sorry, mister, you lose."
Hopping off her barrel, Angela made her way over to the pair. "Gee, that was fast. Oh well, great, now we can get going. Come on then!"
"Wait a minute!" an anonymous voice from the crowd called out. "I want to challenge to Knight for Angela as well!"
"Me too!" a second voice added.
"I would like to enter the tournament as well," a third man said.
The trio of heroes, and probably the Fairy too, all stood and stared wide- eyed at the small crowd of men who had gathered with their weapons. Finally, Hawk broke the silence. "You sure get around, don't you Angie?"
"I deny it! I don't know half of these people!" The rest she could barely even recognise. Some of these guys just had to be getting in it for the fun, there was no way she could possibly have this many ex-boyfriends visiting Maia alone just by chance.
'Carlie was right, Angela, you really are a slut!' the Fairy said, aghast inside her head.
'I would agree with you if it meant getting you out of my head! I was a very curious teenager, okay?!'
'Curious? This adds a whole new level to the meaning of promiscuous!'
"Well, are you up to Duran? Think you can handle all these?" Hawk asked with a grin.
Duran apparently was a sucker for a challenges. Raising his sword and grinning, he replied, "Yeah. I need some exercise."
Angela thought she just fell in love with him all over again.
So they sat there as Duran waded through challenger after challenger, most fights never lasting more than twenty seconds, though one guy Angela vaguely recalled as being named Seph or something lasted about three minutes and even managed to work Duran to a sweat. Then there was the Beastman guard Angela had flirted with then knocked unconscious, who had somehow made it all the way to Maia and didn't seem to get the idea that the Princess had just tricked him so she could escape, but Duran had plenty of experience fighting low-ranking Beastmen guards so it was another fairly quick battle. After that, Angela then began deciding that even if sword duels mostly involved hot guys, they were immensely more repetitive and boring than magical duels, also lacking the great special effects. Halfway through, she stopped watching and began inspecting the grain on the barrel she was sitting on as well, making certain to cheer on Duran at regular intervals. Even the Fairy's mental chatter was starting to wander, occasionally coming back to the point that they were wasting valuable time that they should be spending on their quest.
Hawk yawned. "Gee, Duran, this is getting boring. I might have to challenge you soon just to make things interesting."
The Knight grinned in response. "If you think you can take me, try."
Waving a hand to dispel the idea, the thief just stretched. "Nah, I intend to hold on to my dignity a little longer. Just take care of this one quickly, okay? He's the last one, then we can get moving!"
Nodding, Duran charged the next opponent, who managed to block a couple of the Knight's strikes before a mighty blow from Duran on the hilt of the sword loosened his grip enough so that the next strike sent the sword flying from his grasp. Gulping at the sword tip pointed at his throat, the last challenger conceded defeat and slunk to the sidelines along with the rest of the sorry losers who Angela couldn't even believe she'd ever dated. She was just about ready to swear off alcohol and partying it was so humiliating.
Hawk patted Duran on the back, congratulating him, Duran taking it in his stride. "Well," Angela said cheerfully, hopping down from her vantage point to join them, "With that over with, let's so find some gunpowder. Any of you losers know where we might find some?"
Duran sheathed his sword and gave his many challengers a stern look. That got a quick response.
"You can try the dwarves, they have gunpowder and weapons and everything! They live in a cave just off the path of the Golden Road!" Hector babbled, a couple of others nodding their confirmation earnestly. They'd already been publicly humiliated, there was no point incurring any further wrath upon themselves that day.
Angela smiled sweetly. "Why, thank you! Come on, guys, let's get going then. It's nearly lunchtime as it is!"
With that, the three of them began walking away, only to be intercepted at the edge of town by another anonymous villager carrying a wimpy-looking sword.
"Angela! Is it true that in this town you can enter a tournament to win your hand?"
That did it. "HOLY BALL!"
Several dramatic explosions of light later, Angela dusted her hands off and straightened her gloves. "Well then, shall we continue?"
Hawk and Duran merely nodded wordlessly, the Fairy still inside her skull muttering about using her powers for evil or something like that. Determined to ignore her, the Princess strode ahead, leading the way out of Maia.
Despite the whole sordid affair being immensely embarrassing, it had given the Princess an idea, though. Duran didn't seem to be noticing her obvious affections and come-ons, so he would simply have to made to realise his true feelings in a different manner. And an expert on seduction such as herself knew one of the best ways to get a guy's attention was through jealousy.
The plan was simple. She simply had to stop doting on Duran and start throwing herself at someone else. And since Hawk was the most convenient male around both of them at the time, he'd be the target of her fake attractions until Duran finally grew a clue.
So Angela's next campaign would soon begin.
Author's note: Even if it's getting harder to post regularly, I'm trying to combat this lack of updating (and thus deter the event of Black Rabites of Doom appearing on my soon-to-be-demolished-anyway doorstep) by a nice big long chapter. Please don't get used to them, but feel free to enjoy them! I hope this story doesn't become too silly, because I am beginning to think my standard is dropping dramtically. I only ever get good ideas on rainy days, though, and since it hasn't rained here for about two months (damn drought!) my creative juices are drying up. Time to go do a dance to the rain gods I guess.
Extra-special Author's note!: Even though this is a little pre-emptive, I am now taking votes for what you guys want the final classes of Duran, Angela and Hawk to be. The classes probably won't be a big issue in this, but people like their say and far be it from me to deny you your rights as reviewers! I don't have too much of a personal preference anyway, so please, vote away, knock yourselves out!
Response to Reviewers! (Thank you all. You have become my reason to get up each morning):
Rosa-Aquafire: I'm glad you like the personal responses, I find it to be a more rewarding experience for both the reviewer and the writer if there's actually more than a one-way communication. Besides, I like to defend myself and my stories and thus validate my existence as a fanfic writer. For example, fair enough point about Riesz's character (or Lise, if you prefer), but I figured that she seemed like the type to have a bit of a temper, and being abandoned in Jad then dumped in a prison cell she probably wouldn't be in a gentle, shy and sweet mood. Besides, it's hard to write (I find excuses for everything....) Anyhow, thanks very much for the review as always!
Serenity-Wheeler: Thanks for the review! Even if it's just to say hi, it's always to good to hear from you.
ChibiCharizard: Months to write two pages, I don't feel so bad about delayed updates anymore. A lot of people seem to be used to the name Lise, but dang it, I had to go get the Japanese version from somewhere first, didn't I? Anyhow, I hope people can put up with that, because it's far too late to change. Thanks for your review!
Solarious: Of course Angela has to get all the bad luck in the world, it wouldn't be funny otherwise (insert evil laugh in your choice of spelling here). I'll have to think about making a chapter on violent and temperamental Princesses, hmm...... I'm still working on ideas for Kevin's characterisation, which is probably why he's had about three lines thus far. Ah well, I have a few more chapters before I have to start worrying about it again. No! Keep the Rabites of Doom away! Hurry up and GROW, Mana Beast, we don't have much time! Excuse me, I'm going to have to go raise the Mana Fortress to hurry things up a bit.
Wingnut: I fear the day Minerva makes her appearance. Love hearing from you guys, you inspire me for some reason. My dance to the rain gods doesn't seem to be working, want to ask one of your buddies to do something about it?
As usual, thanks to all the reviewers! Hope you enjoy the chapter, though I really wonder how ANYONE can find this funny anymore....
_______________
Another Witchmaker
Chapter 11 - Tournament of the Exes
By Sinnatious
************
Angela didn't think she'd ever been quite so happy to get off a boat. At least, that was until they arrived in Maia. The Princess had done her fair of travelling before, but never before to so many small towns filled with questionably sane people in such a short time.
"At last! I'm so looking forward to sleeping in an inn!" Angela announced. "Then off we can go to find Gnome! Think of how much more it will hurt when I have GNOME's magic, Hawk."
Hawk massaged his neck with a scowl. "Magic is cheating."
Duran was busy talking to one of the hands on the dock. He followed them a moment later. "If we want to get to Gemstone Valley, which is where the Fairy thinks the Mana Stone Gnome is protecting is, we'll have to find some other way because all the paths are supposed to be blocked off from the road. That guy suggested we try Bon Voyage."
Lo and behold, right next to where they were standing was a house with a sign out the front saying 'Bon Voyage's Amazing Inventions'.
'Well, that's convenient', the Fairy commented from inside Angela's head.
The magician almost had a fit. 'What are you doing inside MY head again! Out, out!'
Hawk was busy opening the door. Duran, being polite as usual, said, "Um, shouldn't we knock?"
The thief shrugged. "The door was unlocked."
"How did you know?" Angela demanded. "Are you trying to rip off houses and innocent people in Maia, too? I bet some old granny in Wendel is STILL looking for her purse!"
"Hey, if you're so righteous, why are you using that cane I bought you with that money then?!"
'I think he has a good point, Angela,' the Fairy agreed.
'When will you start learning that I don't CARE what you think?' Angela mentally hissed back. Instead of answering Hawk, she simply flounced into Bon Voyage's house - and immediately ran into some strange woman.
"Hey, watch it!" she said, cradling her head after the blow. The woman simply smiled and apologised. Well, this certainly couldn't be Bon Voyage, but for good measure she asked anyway. "Are you Bon Voyage?"
"Why no! Bon Voyage is out the back, working on his new invention. You can go see him if you wish," the anonymous woman said. She hid her face behind her hand and giggled, making eyes at Duran. Well, that certainly wouldn't do - Angela grabbed the Knight and dragged him out with her before either of them could get any ideas. Hawk said something that was probably along the lines of an innuendo to the woman before following them out back as well.
The portly - oh, who was she to be tactful, he was downright fat - and short man was hard at work on what looked to be a giant cannon. Wanting to be sure, Angela asked, "Are you Bon Voyage?"
No response.
Annoyed, the Princess repeated, "I said, are you Bon Voyage?"
Still no response.
"HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
Finally, a response. He turned to her. "Oh, why hello there pretty miss! I'm afraid you have the wrong place - the brothel is down the road."
The Fairy erupted into laughter. Hawk was grinning too, until he saw her face and what had to be the beginnings of a dangerous spell combo. "Ack, no, don't kill him Angie! We need his help!"
Angela struggled to release her arm from Hawk's grip. "Let me hurt him! Just a little bit!"
Bon Voyage, in the meantime, was regarding them with a puzzled look. "Is something the matter?"
Duran, being the Mana Knight and all, figured it was his Knightly duty to step up while Angela and Hawk argued in the background. "Bon Voyage, sir, we're trying to find a way to Gemstone Valley, and were told you might be able to help us."
The crazy inventor's face positively lit up at this. Angela, having calmed down enough for Hawk to let her go without fear of her harming anyone bodily, tapped her foot impatiently. Bon Voyage starting jumping up and down in excitement. He was even more hyperactive than Carlie.
"Why, yes! At last, someone to help me test my new invention! It's almost finished, but first I'll need some gunpowder! Once you have the gunpowder, come back to me!"
At that, he turned around and began working on his invention with a renewed enthusiasm. The three were left standing and staring at him.
When it appeared that he wasn't going to say anything else, Angela walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and looked at her. "Um, excuse me, but where can we get some gunpowder?" she asked.
Bon Voyage just continued looking at her, scratching his head. "I'm sure I've seen you somewhere. Ever been to Maia before?"
Angela struggled to reign in her already thoroughly tested patience. In fact, if it weren't for the presence of Duran she might have killed the Inventor by now. "Once. But my question was: where can we get some gunpowder?
"Yup! Gunpowder! Need it to work! I can't send you anywhere until I have some gunpowder," Bon Voyage said.
"But where can we get some?!"
The odd inventor just stared at her again with a curious look, as if he couldn't comprehend the words she was saying. Finally, Angela gave up. "Never mind. I'll ask someone else. It could be days before the message reaches your brain."
Bon Voyage just gave them a cheery wave as the three intrepid Mana heroes tiredly left the house, Angela being sure to steer Duran safely past the woman hanging around in the kitchen.
They stood out the front of the house for a moment, feeling a bit lost on what to do next. Duran finally spoke. "Where can we get gunpowder?"
"Hawk," Angela suggested, "Don't you have some underworld buddies stocking that kind of stuff somewhere?"
The thief scowled, kicking a loose stray stone. "I did. But this is Maia, and all the contacts I have here would probably hand me straight over to the thieves guild if I went there asking for stuff. The bounty on my head's probably bigger than anything I can steal in this little place."
"You're an outlaw. That's cool!" Duran said in an effort to cheer him up.
It seemed to work. Plastering that permanent smile back on his tanned face, the Navarrian replied, "It's sure to attract the ladies! Speaking of which, if we want to find some other place to get some gunpowder - I highly doubt the local store will sell it at any price we can afford - we should go hang out at the inn."
"Good plan," Angela said sarcastically. "If we're going to get information off anyone, it'll be off a bunch of drunks."
"Drunks talk, my fair Angie," Hawk said, gallantly leading the way.
"I remember once when I had too much I confessed to my aunt that King Richard used to have a crush on her," Duran commented.
"Really? Wow, you must be in good with the King if that's the case," Hawk replied. "If I ever did anything like that to Flamekhan I'd probably be beheaded. These days, anyway."
Angela dropped back as the two men walked ahead, regaling each other with drinking stories. The inn seemed like a good place to go after all - maybe if she got Duran drunk, she might actually get to first base with him or something. Nothing like alcohol to drop a few of the inhibitions....
They arrived at the inn and went inside, sitting down and ordering a drink and a meal. The hot food was most welcome, after eating their rations for the past few days. It wasn't so bad, travelling like this - heck, she was even starting to think Hawk came in handy every now and then, even though she'd probably prefer being alone with just Duran.
'How come you never count me in any of your equations?' the Fairy whined inside of her head.
'Because you are an annoying pint-sized insect, that's why!' Angela retorted. 'Get back into Duran's head already!'
'I can't!' she wailed. 'There are people here, they might see me!'
So she was stuck with the insect for even longer then. That was just great. When had she snuck in there anyway? Duran was the chosen Mana Knight, she ought to just stay in his head! Or stay in Hawk's for a change, but she kept insisting that she refused to share a skull with a thief.
Sighing, Angela almost didn't notice the guy who had pulled up a chair next to her until he'd started talking.
"Angela, long time no see," he said with a leer.
She stared at him, perplexed. "Who are you?"
The man managed to look offended for a whole two seconds. "You mean you don't remember me, Hector? After that fantastic night we spent together?"
Angela was trying to rack her memory from her long list of nights out getting drunk in foreign cities. "It can't have been too fantastic, I'm drawing a blank here." From the looks of this guy, her standards obviously dropped a lot when she drunk and lonely.
Putting a hand on her knee, he leaned forward, "Well, then why don't we get reacquainted?"
Face quickly getting red, Angela eyed her staff which she had foolishly left by the door next to Duran's sword and their bags. "Hands off, pervert! I've got bigger fish to fry than dealing with drunken idiots in bars!" She cast a glance over to where Duran was chatting with the waiter. Why didn't he say something? Come on, Duran, she mentally cursed, this is your cue!
'Hector', if that was his real name, didn't get the hint. He simply moved in closer, saying, "Aw, come on, Angela, let's run off together. You were quite happy with the idea last time."
Dang, being sexy all the time had its drawbacks! "Lay off already!" He still didn't get the hint.
Suddenly, 'Hector' became still and pale when a short curved blade was held within an inch of his throat. "Why don't you get the hint that the lady isn't interested?" a very pissed-off looking Hawk intoned.
The strange man pulled back carefully. "Sorry, sir."
Hawk turned to her. "What's your problem, Angie? I get blasted by a spell for making harmless comments and some guy hits on you in a bar and you just sit there? Are you delusional or something?"
"I was waiting for Duran to step up, and you ruined it, you idiot!" she hissed back. Duran apparently still hadn't noticed what was going on, even though the waiter he'd been talking to was staring at the thief with a terrified expression. He was still stuck on the thought of tracking down some gunpowder - that was Duran, complete dedication to his mission.
Suddenly grinning, Hawk withdrew his blade. "Oh. I get it. Well then.....," he said, turning back to 'Hector'. "You really interested in Angela?"
The guy had more nerve than she thought - he nodded, though still kept his distance from this scary individual. "In that case," Hawk proclaimed, "You can have her- IF you can beat THAT guy in a sword fight!" The thief gestured to Duran with a flourish.
"Hawk! What are you doing?" Angela protested, even as Hector's, and several other vaguely familiar-looking males' faces lit up.
Hawk grinned. "You wanted Duran to fight for you, didn't you? Well, here you go."
"Fine!" Hector agreed, standing up. "I will win the lovely Angela's hand in battle! I'll duel with that bozo tomorrow at dawn, in the town square!" With that, he strode out of the bar.
"Hey! Hey! I'm not gonna be some prize for a swordfight! Is anyone listening to me?! HAWK!"
Hawk was observing his handiwork with a satisfied smirk as the bar quickly emptied. Duran finally noticed what was going on. "A challenge? What?"
"Duran! You mean you didn't hear it? That guy challenged you to a sword duel, and if you lose you have to hand over your knighthood AND they'll run off with Angela and the Fairy and you won't be able to save the world!" Hawk explained.
"What? No way!" Duran looked alarmed.
Patting the Knight on the back, the thief reassured him, "There's no need to worry, all you have to do is beat him, right?"
The Forcenan immediately relaxed. "Oh yeah. Thanks for watching out for me there, Hawk."
"No problems!"
'Dirty stinking filthy rotten liar,' the Fairy commented somewhere inside her head.
'How do you think I feel? I'm the prize in some orchestrated sword fight now, and Duran doesn't even know I'm the prize he's fighting for!' Angela complained. Out loud, she commented sarcastically, "Good one, Hawk. That was just what I wanted."
"What?" Hawk asked innocently. "You have a problem with it?"
"Of course I have a problem with it! How stupid are you?! Your brain would rattle inside a flea's skull!" Angela yelled.
Hawk protested that, of course. "Fleas don't have skulls!"
"Rrrrgh, I can't take this anymore! I'm going to bed!" Angela announced, and stalked off to sleep, stopping by Duran to drop off the Fairy. Duran said goodnight himself, then started talking to Hawk about the upcoming duel the next day. Nothing like a duel to excite a Knight, she supposed. Maybe Hawk really did know what he was doing.
That idiot? Nah. He just screwed everything up.
Angela hardly slept three hours that night, though, anxious about the next day. To say she wasn't concerned about the welfare of her big crush would be lie - even though she knew he was a competant swordsman, she'd never seen him against another swordsman yet, and she had no idea of how good that Hector fellow whom she had supposedly seduced at one point, possibly years ago, was at swordsmanship.
Dawn came with Hawk dragging her out of bed and down to the town square where Duran was already prepared for the day's duel. This had absolutely nothing to do with their quest, why were they wasting their time with this? The Fairy was probably annoyed, too. And after that whole affair in the inn last night, they'd completely forgotten to ask anyone about where they could find some gunpowder!
Seating herself on a barrel in a good position to watch the fight, the Princess glared daggers at the thief. "If this doesn't work, then you are aware I'm going to kill you."
"Aw, come on, Angie, have a little faith in Duran, won't you? He's the Mana Knight!"
'That's right,' the Fairy agreed from inside her head.
Again, Angela had to suppress the urge to have a fit. 'When did you sneak into my head again?!'
'Shhh,' the deity shushed her. 'It's starting.'
Hector and Duran both raised their swords and bowed to each other. Angela suppressed a yawn from her sleepiness - she'd seen plenty of magical duels while she had been the Princess of Altena, and sword duels weren't that much different. The only thing that made this one interesting was that her honour was at stake and it had Duran in it. Still, if things went wrong she always had her magic - she could just blow the place to smithereens and abscond.
'I don't think that was what Wisp had in mind when he bestowed his magic upon you,' the Fairy said from inside her head.
The Princess paid her no heed as the clash of two metal swords drew her attention. Duran and Hector locked blades and strength for a moment. Then, just as quickly Duran brought his sword under the block, knocked it to the side, and thwapped Hector on the side of the head with the flat of his blade. Angela clapped and cheered. "Go, Duran!"
Hawk, being the self-appointed umpire, stepped in and dragged a dazed yet uncompromising Hector off to the sidelines, returning to hold Duran's fist in the air in triumph. "The Great Knight of Forcena wins! Sorry, mister, you lose."
Hopping off her barrel, Angela made her way over to the pair. "Gee, that was fast. Oh well, great, now we can get going. Come on then!"
"Wait a minute!" an anonymous voice from the crowd called out. "I want to challenge to Knight for Angela as well!"
"Me too!" a second voice added.
"I would like to enter the tournament as well," a third man said.
The trio of heroes, and probably the Fairy too, all stood and stared wide- eyed at the small crowd of men who had gathered with their weapons. Finally, Hawk broke the silence. "You sure get around, don't you Angie?"
"I deny it! I don't know half of these people!" The rest she could barely even recognise. Some of these guys just had to be getting in it for the fun, there was no way she could possibly have this many ex-boyfriends visiting Maia alone just by chance.
'Carlie was right, Angela, you really are a slut!' the Fairy said, aghast inside her head.
'I would agree with you if it meant getting you out of my head! I was a very curious teenager, okay?!'
'Curious? This adds a whole new level to the meaning of promiscuous!'
"Well, are you up to Duran? Think you can handle all these?" Hawk asked with a grin.
Duran apparently was a sucker for a challenges. Raising his sword and grinning, he replied, "Yeah. I need some exercise."
Angela thought she just fell in love with him all over again.
So they sat there as Duran waded through challenger after challenger, most fights never lasting more than twenty seconds, though one guy Angela vaguely recalled as being named Seph or something lasted about three minutes and even managed to work Duran to a sweat. Then there was the Beastman guard Angela had flirted with then knocked unconscious, who had somehow made it all the way to Maia and didn't seem to get the idea that the Princess had just tricked him so she could escape, but Duran had plenty of experience fighting low-ranking Beastmen guards so it was another fairly quick battle. After that, Angela then began deciding that even if sword duels mostly involved hot guys, they were immensely more repetitive and boring than magical duels, also lacking the great special effects. Halfway through, she stopped watching and began inspecting the grain on the barrel she was sitting on as well, making certain to cheer on Duran at regular intervals. Even the Fairy's mental chatter was starting to wander, occasionally coming back to the point that they were wasting valuable time that they should be spending on their quest.
Hawk yawned. "Gee, Duran, this is getting boring. I might have to challenge you soon just to make things interesting."
The Knight grinned in response. "If you think you can take me, try."
Waving a hand to dispel the idea, the thief just stretched. "Nah, I intend to hold on to my dignity a little longer. Just take care of this one quickly, okay? He's the last one, then we can get moving!"
Nodding, Duran charged the next opponent, who managed to block a couple of the Knight's strikes before a mighty blow from Duran on the hilt of the sword loosened his grip enough so that the next strike sent the sword flying from his grasp. Gulping at the sword tip pointed at his throat, the last challenger conceded defeat and slunk to the sidelines along with the rest of the sorry losers who Angela couldn't even believe she'd ever dated. She was just about ready to swear off alcohol and partying it was so humiliating.
Hawk patted Duran on the back, congratulating him, Duran taking it in his stride. "Well," Angela said cheerfully, hopping down from her vantage point to join them, "With that over with, let's so find some gunpowder. Any of you losers know where we might find some?"
Duran sheathed his sword and gave his many challengers a stern look. That got a quick response.
"You can try the dwarves, they have gunpowder and weapons and everything! They live in a cave just off the path of the Golden Road!" Hector babbled, a couple of others nodding their confirmation earnestly. They'd already been publicly humiliated, there was no point incurring any further wrath upon themselves that day.
Angela smiled sweetly. "Why, thank you! Come on, guys, let's get going then. It's nearly lunchtime as it is!"
With that, the three of them began walking away, only to be intercepted at the edge of town by another anonymous villager carrying a wimpy-looking sword.
"Angela! Is it true that in this town you can enter a tournament to win your hand?"
That did it. "HOLY BALL!"
Several dramatic explosions of light later, Angela dusted her hands off and straightened her gloves. "Well then, shall we continue?"
Hawk and Duran merely nodded wordlessly, the Fairy still inside her skull muttering about using her powers for evil or something like that. Determined to ignore her, the Princess strode ahead, leading the way out of Maia.
Despite the whole sordid affair being immensely embarrassing, it had given the Princess an idea, though. Duran didn't seem to be noticing her obvious affections and come-ons, so he would simply have to made to realise his true feelings in a different manner. And an expert on seduction such as herself knew one of the best ways to get a guy's attention was through jealousy.
The plan was simple. She simply had to stop doting on Duran and start throwing herself at someone else. And since Hawk was the most convenient male around both of them at the time, he'd be the target of her fake attractions until Duran finally grew a clue.
So Angela's next campaign would soon begin.
