A/N: I don't own Hetalia or any of its characters, or any fairytale I use. All credit for this awesome idea goes to Kuroi Kitsune, one half of the HaniChanTwili account!

Guide

P = Poland

Li = Liet/Lithuania

Es = Estonia

La = Latvia

R = Russia

Peter Pan

And now for Peter Pan! Everybody ready?

P: This, like, better be good, ok? I'm totally gonna be angry if it's not.

Li: Don't say stuff like that, Poland, I'm sure it'll be fine!

Ok!

Once upon a time, there was a family with three children. The eldest was a girl named Tori; after her were two boys, Eduard, and the youngest, Raivis. Tori was a very good storyteller, and always told Eduard and Raivis tales of the adventurous Feliks Pan, who fought pirates along with his little fairy Tinkerbell.

But she was turning sixteen, and would no longer be able to share a bedroom with her young brothers; she would move out of the 'nursery', and the stories would end. It made Eduard and Raivis very sad. So Tori told many, many stories on the last night, and the three siblings fell asleep late at night.

Tori was awoken with a crash. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around the room, and saw a blond flailing after his shadow.

P: Like, ahem…?

Sorry, saw an impeccably dressed boy flailing after his shadow. Sheesh.

And Tori gasped; it was Feliks Pan! Trying to move softly, she helped Feliks catch his rebellious shadow, and then used her sewing needle to attach it back to him.

Raivis and Eduard woke anyways, rubbing their sleepy eyes. Upon seeing that it was really Feliks Pan, little Raivis got excited.

"We can go to Neverland! And then we'll never have to grow up, and Tori can read us stories every night!"

"I don't think-"

But Tori was interrupted by the enthusiastic Feliks Pan.

"That sounds, like, totally great!" the blond cheered. "Once Tink, like, sprinkles you with pixie dust, we can, like, fly there!"

Feliks motioned over a tiny, glowing pink pony with wings. It flew around all of the kids, covering them in a sparkly dust.

P: That's, like, the coolest thing ever! A pony fairy! How, like, awesome!

… If you say so, Poland… Anyway…

"Now just, like, think of happy stuff!" Feliks instructed.

So everyone thought of happy things; Eduard of a new computer, Raivis of toys and candy, and Tori of telling stories. Then they all flew off; off to Neverland. Feliks led the way, with Tinkerbell leaving a sparkly pink trail behind them. As the group reached Neverland, a cannonball whizzed by them.

"O-oh no, p-pirates!" Raivis stammered.

But Feliks led them in weaving around the shots, and they all landed safely in the trees of the island. Then, Feliks Pan put two fingers in his mouth and whistled shrilly. Several boys popped out of the underbrush and assembled in front of Feliks. Raivis hid behind Eduard and clung to the older boy's shirt.

"These are my Lost Boys! We're, like, never gonna grow up!" Feliks Pan grinned, motioning to the group around him.

"Hey, boss!" one of the littler Lost Boys piped up, "we wanted to go hunting for Indians today! Can we?"

Feliks nodded, running a hand through his hair.

"Like, sure thing. I'll just, like, take Tori to see the mermaids, k?"

P: Oh my gosh! There's, like, mermaids? Liet, this is like such an awesome story!

Li: O-oh? Well, it's good that you like it, I guess.

Eduard and Raivis went with the Lost Boys, as it seemed that Feliks was intent on going alone with Tori. The boys didn't mind; they'd much rather find Indians than mermaids anyway. So all of the young boys set out, creeping around through the forest. But they just weren't sneaky enough.

La: O-oh n-no… Estonia Th-that sounds b-bad!

Es: … Yeah, it does…

Because the Indians snuck up on them, and when the boys least expected it, they attacked! All of the kids were tied up, and interrogated. It seemed… The princess of the Indians; that is to say, the chief's daughter, had been kidnapped. The Lost Boys were the suspects, but all of them were at a loss.

"We didn't do it!" one of the bigger boys shouted angrily.

But the tribe didn't listen.

La: Wh-what will they do?

We'll find out. But in the meantime…

Feliks led Tori to the little bay where all of the mermaids played.

"Feliks~!" the mermaid girls called excitedly when they saw him.

But they all soured upon seeing Tori.

"Who's she?" one spat, splashing water at the poor brunette.

"Yeah, Feliks! Look at her, she's so scrawny," another sneered.

Tori flushed in humiliation. Wasn't he going to tell them to stop? But Feliks Pan did nothing of the sort. He just laughed at the helpless look on Tori's face.

Li: This sounds about right…

P: H-hey, Liet, don't say that!

Li: Well, it's true! You always just laugh whenever I really need your help! I don't even know why we're friends!

P: B-but…

Uh oh… Er, I think I should move on before any more damage is done…

ANYWAY, guys! Um… So, just at that moment, the mermaids shrieked and dove beneath the water, because a small rowboat was approaching. And in that rowboat was the feared pirate, Captain Ivan Hook.

R: This is me, da?

Yeah. It is.

He was rowing towards a cave just outside the bay, and a young woman was tied up in the boat as well. Feliks recognized the girl immediately. It was the Indian Chief's daughter, Tiger Lily!

"Come on, Tori," Feliks whispered, grabbing the girl's hand.

She flushed, but nodded, and they flew after the pirate and his hostage. Once inside the cave, Feliks snuck up on Captain Hook while Tori rushed to untie poor Tiger Lily. And though Tori was successful, Feliks wasn't. Ivan turned around, whipping out his weapon of choice, a large faucet pipe. Then he pierced the front of Feliks's shirt with the hook that stood in for his missing right hand.

P: Like, how dare he! Ruining my clothes! How totally evil!

R: I can be more evil than that, if you wish…

O-ok, guys, let's just keep going with the story!

Um… Ok so… Feliks and Captain Ivan fought for many minutes, but Feliks was ready to just fly off when he saw Tori and Tiger Lily were both safe and free. Until he heard a distinct sound. A sound that sent the pirate captain into shivers.

"That's, like, Natalya, right?" the blond boy laughed.

R: B-Be-Belarus, go hoooooome!

It's ok, Russia. She's not really in the story…

A-anyway… The pirate peered over the edge of the cliff the two of them were fighting on, and saw a large green crocodile peering up at him with a toothy grin. Fighting a shriek, he ran for his rowboat and sped away.

Feliks Pan laughed loudly at the retreat, and flew down to where Tori and Tiger Lily were waiting.

When they brought Tiger Lily back, the Indian tribe let the Lost Boys and Tori's brothers go.

La: Whew!

Es: … Thank goodness…

Then, they threw a huge party for Feliks, in honor of him rescuing the chief's daughter.

The celebration was in full swing and everyone was having fun, but the tribe shut Tori out; even if she'd been part of the rescue, she was just a girl.

"Go, like, get us some snacks, ok, Tori?" Feliks Pan all but ordered.

Tori scowled and stomped off. Why did they have to treat her like that, just because she was a girl! She was just as good as them! And her brothers were forgetting who exactly it was that told them stories every night!

At the same time, Tinkerbell was fuming too. Feliks was paying too much attention to Tori! He'd totally forgotten Tink was even there, forgotten to call for her when they chased after Captain Ivan! … And there was an idea… Why, if she could get that nasty pirate to get rid of Tori, things would go back to the way they'd always been!

Li: … Oh, no…

So she flew off to where the pirates' ship was anchored, and tried to make a deal. She explained that she would tell Captain Ivan where Feliks's hideout was, so he could capture Tori. The pirate agreed, smiling a dangerously innocent smile the whole time.

But when she was locked inside a lantern, Tinkerbell knew something was wrong. She had to get back to warn Feliks! So the little pink fairy pony stomped her small hooves against the glass until it shattered, and then flew away.

In the meantime, Tori, Eduard, Raivis, Feliks, and all of the Lost Boys had made it back to Feliks's hideout. Raivis was homesick. Eduard as well. Tori thought it would be a good idea to get back before their parents worried. She also offered to let Feliks and the Lost Boys come along.

"Surely our parents would adopt you!" she told them cheerfully.

Li: Yeah; that would be wonderful!

And the Lost Boys thought that sounded like a great idea.

But Feliks Pan didn't.

He argued loudly that he was never going to grow up, no matter what the rest of them did. So the others gave up trying to convince him.

"Come on, boys," Tori said coolly.

Eduard, Raivis, and all of the Lost Boys trooped out after her, some looking back at a sulking Feliks Pan sadly. The blond pulled the curtain across his door angrily. And it was at that point that a small vial of something was slipped into Feliks's nightly medicine. And who should see but little Tinkerbell as she flew to the hideout; she froze, hiding herself, and panicked.

"I guess I'd, like, better take my medicine," Feliks shrugged. "They'll all totally be back. There's, like, no way anyone would want to grow up!"

It was almost ten, and Tinkerbell the pink pony fairy zoomed into Feliks's room as he carried the medicine in with him.

"Like, what?" he asked impatiently, as the pony made little jingling sounds. "Poison? You're, like, crazy, Tink. No one would put that in my medicine!"

But Tinkerbell was frantic. She grabbed the cup of medicine and tugged it out of Feliks's grasp.

Then she drank it, and collapsed to the floor.

P: Like, oh no!

Tinkerbell was fading fast. And there's only one way to save a dying fairy… You have to clap your hands to show you truly believe!

P: Like, clap, Liet! Clap as loud as you can!

Li: I-I'm clapping, Poland!

Oh, but that's not nearly enough…

Li: Come on, Estonia, Latvia! You have to clap too!

La: O-ok! L-let's clap loud, Estonia!

Es: Yeah, if we all clap, then surely…

Tinkerbell's eyes fluttered open.

P: Yes! We, like, totally did it, Liet!

Li: Y-yeah, I guess we did…

And even Russia was clapping…

R: …

Ah… A-anyway…

P: Haha, he looks, like, totally embarrassed!

Poland, be nice. We need to finish the story.

But you see… Though Tori and the boys had left some time ago, they had never reached their destination. As soon as they'd exited Feliks's hideout, every one of them had been captured by Captain Ivan and his crew of pirates! Then, the pirates had tied the children up, and rowed them to the pirate ship anchored in the bay.

And then the sound had started. Captain Ivan began to shiver. All of the Lost Boys laughed, but Eduard, Raivis, and Tori were confused.

"Wh-what's that noise? Why's he s-so scared of it?" Raivis asked.

"It's Natalya, the crocodile!" one of the Lost Boys laughed back.

"B-but why name a crocodile?" Tori questioned, looking befuddled.

"It's named… After his sister," another boy giggled.

"You named it after your sister?" Eduard asked the pirate captain skeptically. "Isn't that a little harsh?"

"You don't understand!" Captain Ivan wailed, still preoccupied by the large crocodile circling the ship. "Do you hear that noise coming from it?"

"W-what, t-that tick-tock, tick-tock?" Raivis stammered.

"Don't you think…? More than tick-tock, tick-tock, it sounds like kek-kon, kek-kon*?" the captain explained, shivering.

Tori's brothers listened, and eventually they heard it too. The kek-kon, kek-kon…

"I-in any case!" Captain Ivan shouted, composing himself. "You can either choose to become part of my crew, or you can walk the plank!"

All of the boys sidled over to the rest of the crew, but Tori scowled and stood firm.

"I will not become a pirate!" she said, scowling. "Feliks will definitely save us!"

"Feliks is dead," Ivan said cheerily. "You see… I sent him a little… Present, da?"

Tori just shook her head, scowling, and stepped towards the plank. She reached the edge, and closing her eyes, trying so hard not to look at the eager crocodile below her, she stepped off.

Li: I-I can't listen…

And before she could even get used to falling, she was flying.

It was Feliks!

P: Like, see, Liet? I, like, totally saved your butt! Haha!

Li: Y-yeah, I-I guess you did…

P: Haha, Liet, you should've seen your face! It was totally priceless!

Anyway, Feliks Pan was very careful about staying out of sight, and set Tori gently down on one of the masts. Then he swooped down over Captain Ivan Hook, his dagger at the ready. And before the pirate could do much of anything, Feliks had slashed away some of the decoration at the buttons of his coat.

P: Hah! I just, like, totally ruined his outfit!

With his real hand, the captain pulled out his large faucet pipe, and attempted to hit Feliks with it. But the blond was too quick, and dodged every hit. Finally, after an elaborate battle too amazing to be described in words, Feliks had beaten the captain, and all the pirates fled in rowboats. Tori could tell which one Captain Ivan was in, because of the large green crocodile following it and ticking 'kek-kon, kek-kon'.

Then, Feliks Pan had Tinkerbell sprinkle the whole ship with pixie dust, and flew the ship back to Tori's home. Tori tucked her brothers in as they blinked sleepily, and then turned to tell Feliks goodbye.

"W-well… I guess… This is goodbye, Feliks," Tori said softly.

Feliks shook his head and pulled something from his pocket. In a fluid motion, he pinned back Tori's hair with the small clip in his hand.

"Just, like… Don't grow up too much, k?"

And he grinned endearingly.

Tori leaned over and kissed him, then pulled back with her cheeks burning red.

"Yeah… N-no problem."

Then Feliks hopped back into the flying ship, and returned to Neverland.

Tori watched him fade into the distance with a sad smile.

P: T-that was, like… Actually really sweet.

Li: Yeah… It was.

Well, folks, I'd say that's about-

The End

*The kek-kon noise is based on the two syllables of the Japanese verb, kekkon suru; that is, to be married. Belarus is notorious for saying this in the Japanese version of Hetalia.

PS: Thank you all for your suggestions for Norway's name! Now I have plenty to choose from! Also, I really like the idea of a Goldilocks story. It will happen! Promise!