It didn't take long for Robyn to pass out from the pain. In fact, she didn't even have time to let out a scream. The brothers were grateful for that. Sam had lifted her into his arms, but her back was so torn up that even resting there was too agonizing. Dean opened the front door for them and they ran out of the house, towards the car. Castiel stood at the Impala, looking at them expectantly.
"How is she doing?" He asked quickly.
"Not good…" Dean answered as he hopped in the driver's seat. He waited for everyone to get in before speeding off towards a hospital. Cas sat in the back with Robyn, her head resting on his shoulder. She was barely conscious now.
"I can't…go to a hospital…" She said, wincing as she fought off the pain.
"You have to go, Robyn." Sam said urgently.
"They…are going to ask…too many questions…that can't be answered without suspicion. I'll be fine." Her eyes closed softly as she slipped back into unconsciousness.
Even though Dean didn't want to admit it he said, "She's right. There is no explanation that won't call for a police investigation." His jaw tightened.
"Can't you heal her, Cas?" Sam asked, realizing they were running out of options.
"No…" He said with a somber tone.
"Why the hell not?" Dean snapped.
Castiel sighed. "They branded her with a symbol that separates her from the power of angels. The only thing that I can do is simple physical contact. I can do nothing beyond that."
Dean cursed under his breath. "Why would they brand her?"
"The symbol stands for much more than just separation of angels. It also represents what she is. I've never actually seen one. It's ancient…older than myself. It's not much younger than God really. It stands for possession… meaning that-" He didn't even want to finish the thought.
"What Cas?" Sam asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.
"Do you know the saying 'they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders'?"
"Yeah."
"This is where it comes from. The brand was made on her left shoulder. She now carries the burden of the creatures she is a part of. Meaning that everything that is mixed in her DNA she is now responsible for. It's a punishment from her father…for choosing friends that are hunters instead of her own kind… and angels instead of demons."
"And there is nothing we can do?" Dean asked, his hands tightening around the steering wheel.
"No… Besides destroying every threat to monsters, there is absolutely nothing we can do. Every time a creature is killed, there will come great pain, and then a piece of her will die along with it."
"God, dammit!" Dean snapped, hitting the steering wheel with his palm. "Why can't He give her a break? It's one thing after another! It's not her fault that she's a monster, it's His! God created this thing so He can take it away!"
Sam was silent, as was Castiel.
"It's not fair… It shouldn't have been her."
"Then it would have just been some other poor soul." Castiel chimed in.
"Look at her, Cas! If they brought the top ten people on this earth that didn't deserve this, she would have won hands down."
"She's also the toughest." Sam said simply, as if that meant anything to Dean.
"She was made that way! Hell, the prom queen would have grown a pair by now if she was put in this position."
"No, Dean. It had to be this way. She is the only one that is able to rough it all the way to the end. This was her destiny and she knew it." Castiel argued, even though the words tasted bitter coming from his mouth.
Robyn woke just enough to mutter, "Guys… are we there yet?"
Five minutes later:
They rushed Robyn into the motel room, laying her on her stomach on one of the beds. They grimaced as they saw the amount of blood and tearing of her skin. Dean took out his knife and carefully cut down the middle of the shirt's back. It was only then when he was really able to see the symbol forever imprinted on her shoulder. It seemed to have a fiery glow to it because of the scarred and burned skin it had created. The boys were surprised when they realized that it was just a very intricate cross. They didn't focus on this long as they saw how deep the cuts on her back really were.
"Dean, get thread and the needle. We need to sew her up…fast." Sam said as he watched Dean go to retrieve the items.
"Remember, she will not die." Castiel said, trying to comfort Sam.
"I know, Cas. But I can't see her like this. And I know that Dean will have a stroke if this keeps up. He's been in a constant state of worry about her since she joined. They have a bond like family."
"You know… she loves you too." Castiel said after a short silence.
Sam smiled slightly. "That's just because she doesn't have to ability to do anything but love."
"Or maybe you're her family too."
Dean ran into the room with the needle and thread and passed them off to Sam. It didn't take long for him to start stitching her up. They all concentrated eager for this part to be over. The waiting seemed endless.
Finally, Robyn began opening her eyes as they were just finishing wrapping up her wounds with gauze.
"Looks like someone got one hell of a good sleep." Dean said, with a look of pure relief plastered on his face.
"Yeah…" She said, sitting up carefully, wincing.
"You okay?" Sam asked, placing a gentle hand on her arm.
"He just…left me there. He didn't even try to help me."
"Who?"
"It doesn't matter." She said, not meeting anyone's eye.
"It sure looks like it matters to you." Dean joined in.
"Well, it does, Dean. But not to you." She suddenly seemed angry.
Dean suddenly remembered something Robyn had sad back at her house. "Your dad…you're talking about your dad."
Robyn said nothing.
"Can I talk to her for a minute? Alone." Dean asked, looking from both Castiel to Sam. They both nodded and Sam got up from his seat on the bed which Dean occupied next. Cas just disappeared from inside the room, leaving the two alone.
"Look, I'm going to tell you something that is really going to suck to hear, but you gotta listen. You understand?"
Again she said nothing. She didn't even acknowledge that he was talking.
"He doesn't care about you."
"Fuck you, Dean!" She glared at him. The pain in her eyes wasn't from the agony that lingered on her back, but something much deeper. Dean recognized it well. Rejection. The pain of knowing that the one person that you need to love you, doesn't, or doesn't show it.
"I told you that you need to listen!" Dean shouted back, but despite him raising his voice, it was soft. Making her know that he cared when her father doesn't. "He just wants you on his side so he can kill you later when he doesn't need you anymore."
"Shut up!" She shouted, pushing him away roughly, hurting herself in the process, but she gritted her teeth to hide the pain. "You don't know anything about it! He's my father, he has to love me!"
"No… he doesn't. He should, but that doesn't mean he does." Now Dean wished he hadn't said anything, but he knew that he had to. It was the right thing but the look on her face suggested otherwise.
"Leave me alone… Stop acting like you're my father! All of you just want me on your side because you can't kill me! You don't give a shit!" Robyn couldn't remember where those words came from but they felt familiar.
Dean acted on impulse. He grabbed her shoulders roughly, making her look him in the eyes. "Stop it right now." He ordered. "Don't start accusing me of not caring, because I do… more than anything. You are not a weapon! But if you start turning on us, you will become one. Your father will turn you into one. He doesn't love you." He hesitated. "But we do. We do love you."
"Well…I hate you."
Dean immediately let go like he had just been shot.
That night:
Robyn had a knot in her stomach ever since she said that terrible phrase. She knew that she didn't mean it, but Dean sure as hell didn't. The look on his face sure expressed that pretty well. But he just kept pushing and pushing and the pain from her wounds were starting to make her head swim… and the pain from what he was saying. Dean hadn't said another word all night. He wouldn't even look at her. She didn't blame him of course. She couldn't look at herself in the eye either. She had cut him just like he had been cutting her except she cut much deeper and faster before he barely even started. She wished that she could just tell him that she didn't mean it and hug him, but it was too little too late. And the word love was foreign coming from her mouth, even though on an emotional level, she let it fly.
Robyn studied the sleeping faces and made her choice. She had to leave. Fighting back tears with a clenched jaw, she pulled on a shirt over her bandaged torso and without any noise, escaped through the door. In that crippling silence, she left her family behind.
As she walked down the deserted sidewalk through the city, a man in a trench coat approached her. She recognized him immediately.
"Don't, Cas."
"Don't what?"
"Don't stop me. It's better this way."
"I wasn't going to stop you…"
"Then what do you want?"
Castiel stared at her for a moment and shook his head. "I'm not going to stop you…this is your decision, but it isn't a wise one you're making."
"I don't want to hear it. It has to be done." She argued.
"You don't realize what you're leaving."
"Yes, I do."
"Then why are you leaving?"
"Because, I'm screwing everything up! I wasn't meant to be a part of a family, Cas. I was meant to be alone…"
"Why?"
"Because, I'm a monster. And I will always be a monster. I already hurt Dean…"
"He's a hunter. Whatever you said, I'm sure he will be okay."
"No…It's just not going to work. Not this time."
The angel sighed heavily. "Fine. But I want you to have something…" He said as he reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a folded up piece of paper, holding it out to the young girl. "This belonged to you. I snatched it from your room."
Robyn gently took the piece of paper and unfolded it, revealing the picture she had drawn when she was so much younger. Her old family. She had painted this the day that her family "died". She saw Castiel in the middle of the painting and smiled softly. The folded the artwork back up and hugged her guardian angel tightly. "I'll miss you so much…all of you."
"Then don't leave." Castiel suggested, obviously confused by her choice.
"I have to…" She said, releasing him. "Can you tell Dean that I really am sorry? I didn't mean what I said. And, can you tell him that I love him? Sam too."
Castiel took a deep breath and put a hand on her shoulder. "Yes. I will be sure to tell them that."
She nodded. "Goodbye…Cas."
"Goodbye." He watched her begin to walk away. "And Robyn,"
She turned to look at him.
"Be careful…don't get yourself killed."
Robyn smiled slightly. "I'll try not to."
And with that, they parted ways.
Dean:
He had been awake, hearing the slight, tender sounds of footsteps. For an instant, he could see the light of streetlamps as the door to their room cracked open. Then the light disappeared as the door closed again. He knew what had left… who had left, but he made no effort to stop her. If she hated him so much, then she should leave. His throat tightened as he lay there in complete darkness, listening to Sam's quiet, rhythmic breathing. He tried to tell himself that everything would be okay with her gone, but he knew that he was lying to himself. He would miss her. It would be like losing his best friend. Hell, it would be like losing his daughter. But he was too damn stubborn to go after her.
Little did either of them know that it was this stubbornness that would lead them all into the toughest fight for survival any of them ever witnessed. And it would surely be the most painful for all of them.
