Chapter 11
Julia was enthralled. He picked her up roughly with his strong arms and covered her mouth with deep, hungry, insistent kisses, pushing his tongue between her teeth for her to pull on with her own mouth. A promise of what was coming next. He swept her backwards until her legs and buttocks connected with the table with him pressed firmly against her, separating her knees, his urgency quite obvious. He lifted her easily onto the table surface, scattering papers into a swirl. His hands worked her dress and liberated her bosom, allowing him to drop kisses on her breasts as he pulled her skirt and petticoats up to allow him access to her. One of her buttons skittered on the floor of the semi-public place. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck and lifted herself up while he pawed at the strings of her drawers…..
The telephone rang a third time, jolting Julia out of her daydream. She launched herself out of her chair at the handset and attempted to say, "Hello, Dr Ogden," without betraying her emotional or physical state. Fortunately she mostly had to listen to the conversation, which she ended by agreeing to take on an extra shift in admissions just to get the administrator off the phone sooner rather than later.
She hung the ear piece on the handset and leaned back again, squirming a little in the chair. Oh my, that one…. Again! Julia smiled at herself. If there was ever any doubt that thoughts control feelings and physical responses, she had all the proof she ever needed considering the effects her fantasies about William had on her person. Useful knowledge in her line of work, but I knew that before I ever considered being a psychiatrist. She had just wanted to relax in her office after a very frustrating meeting with some of the hospital board members, and my more supposedly-enlightened colleagues, about changing the conditions in some of the wards. Her walk back to her office was punctuated with muttering under her breath about the obstinacy, stubbornness, inflexibility, intransigence, intractability, obduracy, mulishness, pig-headedness, perversity, recalcitrance, implacability and uncooperativeness of MEN!
Being a well-educated and well-read woman she could go on…..The harsh rap of her heels beat out her anger on the wooden floors as she made her way through the building. Once, when she went on like this in William's presence, he pointed out to her, reasonably enough, it was not all men, nor only men. "But it is always men!" she had retorted, and he had no comeback to that, or the wisdom not to share it.
By the time she got back to her office she was beside herself, and needed composure for her next patient due to arrive in 15 minutes. She had rocked back in her chair, gazed at her fish and before she realized it, closed her eyes and drifted off...to think of William. My unguarded mind likes to take my body with it. Julia reflected that this was a great example of the mixed messages she gave her husband. What would happen if I shared this one with William? How could I tell him I have fantasized that I want him to just… take me, when I resist any small measure of anything that seems like he is controlling me?...Julia, she thought with exasperation at herself, you are overthinking things as usual. She was drifting off again…. Maybe I want to keep this fantasy just for me; after all, I have kept it all these many years…she smiled once more… then again…..
The telephone shrilled, dragging her abruptly back to her office. She answered and to her surprise, it was William's voice over the line. His voice can produce similar results, she noted delightedly."Yes, William?"
This time his voice was rather hushed on the other end of the line. "Julia, I have another angle to pursue regarding Miss Pearce," he began. "I wondered if her belongings were stored somewhere after her escape—if so I want to examine them. Also, do you think you could review her asylum records? I am looking for anyone who visited her or sent her mail. She made statements that she had 'friends' who helped her. I want to know who these friends were—and Julia, I also wonder if someone from within the hospital might have helped her." William's concern was evident in his tone.
"You are worried someone here might be a threat to me?" she asked.
He answered. "We must consider the possibility, don't you think? Is there a way to do this discretely so that no one knows? Either bring the information home for us to look at together, or look yourself while you are at work?"
Julia quickly calculated and agreed, "I just consented to take another shift, so I have an opportunity. I will see what can be done here, find out where her belongings went and let you know. I will see you at home later—don't wait dinner." Julia rang off, smoothed her hair, and picked up her file as the nurse brought her next patient in.
