Only God Knows

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. That is all. So shut the hell up and get over it.

Summary: Naruto is forced into a camp for "troubled" youth. But will a certain raven lead him further from the path?

Well, hello fellow readers. It's me again. I know that I keep changing my username and it is probably getting tiring, but I am going to keep this name for a very long time for personal reasons (if you can figure out why, then I'll dedicate a chapter to you. Well, I have been busy with school and life. So I'm sorry. I will try and finish up all of my other stories, just give me time.


Ch11

The entire group looked at the forty-year-old with the hardened face. He looked as if he was fuming with anger at the scene that was unfolding before him. My body tensed up from the atmosphere he produced. I was terrified to even breathe in fear of offending him.

Sai, Sasuke, and the other man with the covered eye remained like statues. Perhaps this was custom for the man to shrill like a loon. Maybe he was the kind that just wouldn't stand to see such foolishness.

"No wonder your son's a fag!"

The man in green looked at him in shock. After he comprehended what the man said, he chuckled. Lee just looked ashamed to somehow disappoint his old man.

I knew how it felt to somehow not be good enough. And right now, he looked as if he was worthless simply because his father was probably going to agree.

"My son may have his demons," the father began, "but that does not give you the right to disrespect him. I highly request you apologize."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" the man spat.

"Gai, a father to a young man with many problems that I would want to see him overcome."

"I didn't pay this god damn camp to have my son deal with hippies!"

"That is enough!" my father shouted. "Mr. Uchiha, I could care less if you use that type of language. But you do not use our God, our savior's name in vain."

Sasuke spoke softly to his father in some language (I). Maybe Japanese or Chinese or something. I don't know. But whatever he said made his father's face turn from anger to absolute rage.

He suddenly grabbed Sasuke's arm violently and spoke in that same language. I was confused. I didn't know what was going on. And it seemed that I wasn't the only one. By the appearance of the situation, it seemed like only Sai and the other man knew what was going on.

"Oh, come on, uncle, you can't be serious." Sai smiled nervously.

I gasped suddenly when I saw the man slap Sai across his face. Sai looked at him with wide eyes. This was getting out of control fast.

"Fugaku. I could care less what you do to Sasuke. I am not going to get in between of your family business, but if you ever lay a hand on my son, so help me." The man spoke sternly.

"Danzou," the man named Fugaku spoke.

Again he spoke in the foreign language. But his tone seemed more in a playful manner. It was very disturbing, to say the least. A part of me had a feeling that he was still being cold-hearted, despite the fact that Fugaku, Sasuke's father, was smiling and laughing.

"Don't come back if you're not cured." Fugaku spoke coldly, his voice dipped in venom.

The look in his eyes were soulless. His nostrils flared as his breathing increased. I felt horrible for the Uchiha. If he wasn't "cured", then he would be thrown away like a candy wrapper. His father was a reminder not only for Sasuke, but for all of us that this world has people who hated our kind. We were going to suffer silently because of this hatred we would face for the rest of our lives.

Sasuke's father looked disgusted at his son, as if he was some diseased rodent in the streets. The gravitation of this situation was just suffocating us. Or maybe just me. None of us could muster a word. Even the councilor was speechless.

Fugaku muttered a few more alien words to Danzou and soon both left the room. All of us watched in an eerie silence as they swung the doors open and left.

What could we say to make it right? How was Sasuke feeling about all of this? Could we even say something to change the how he felt about all of this? I felt helpless to see somebody in this position. It could easily have been any of us.

"Hey, kido," the woman broke the silence.

She touched Sasuke on the shoulder lightly. He slide away from her as if her touches burned and ran off.

Nobody could blame him for running. I would have done the same thing. He was fighting the darkness in his own heart, and that darkness was winning. He was trapped in those shadows, drowning in his sea of hopelessness. I wished that I could tell him that everything would be fine. But I knew that I could not even believe those words. How could I tell him that if even I couldn't have faith that his father would accept him, even if he was still a homosexual?

"Well," the woman smiled. "I think we had a rather exciting day. Today's session is over. Campers, you have 3o minutes to spend time with your family before they leave."

I looked at my parents, my mother shook her head at the situation.

"That poor boy." My mom whispered.

"He's in my cabin." I muttered.

"Just pray for him." My father spoke.

I looked up at my father. He had the same face my mother had. It seemed like both of them were having a silent conversation. I hated it when they did that. It normally meant that I was in trouble. So it seemed that I was going to end up having that lecture with my dad after all. I wasn't looking forward to that. I didn't want to deal with it at the moment. Right now, I was still shaken up with the situation between Sasuke and his father.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." My mom blurted out.

She stood up and headed out for the bathroom. I had a strong sense that she only said that so she could leave me alone with my dad. I know that when they dropped me off a week ago that I wasn't really that friendly with him.

I'm still a bit upset with him, but not as much as I was last week. I'm not one to hold grudges. Those things are bad for the human soul. They only end up destroying us all. So why should I hold some ill will when I could be happy?

"So, how are you?" he asked.

"Good." I muttered.

"I know you're still angry, Naruto. I can see it in your eyes."

I looked at him a bit taken aback. I tried to play it off as if I didn't know what he was talking about. He really doesn't have to know how I fell about him with this. All he had to know was that I wasn't thrilled with him sending me to this camp. He didn't have to know that I was still angry at him for betraying me.

"Naruto, you're my son. I know what's best for you."

"Then let me come back home with you guys."

"We can't do that."

I started to get irritated with him. I wanted to go home. I didn't want to stay here. I really didn't want to know what surprises this hell had for me. I was willing to do just about anything to get out.

"Fine, I was kidding about being gay. I thought it would be absolutely hilarious if I said that I was into banging guys because that's how I roll. I was never gay. This is my master plan for attention. Now can I come home?"

"Naruto, your mother and I are doing this for your own good."

"No, you're doing it because you can't handle the humiliation of me not being like you." I stood up.

I had never yelled at my father. But I couldn't handle it any more. He sent me here because he was embarrassed to have his own kid gay. He was more worried about what the church would think that that he would send his own son to some sort of gay-to-straight prison just so he could avoid the disgrace.

"Naruto, that is not true." My father spoke sternly.

"Prove it. Let me come home with you and mom."

"No. You need to find out if this is just some phase."

I couldn't believe he thought that me being gay was some sort of phase. I always knew that I was different from all of the other boys. I knew that from a very early age. For as long as I could remember, I felt an emptiness in my heart that just wouldn't go away. I wanted to fill it up. I wanted to find out why I felt that way.

And then one day I did. And I was horrified by it. I hated myself because I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to be gay. But it was the only thing that made sense. I looked at the other guys differently. I looked at girls the way I saw my mom or the way a brother would look at a sister. I could never see myself be with a woman. But I could see myself being with a guy. And that was what pissed me off in the beginning.

And my father has the balls to think that I'm just going through a phase? If being gay was a phase, then I have been going through it since I was five. A few months here was going to make me even more self-hating than I already was. And I had just finally accepted my situation.

"Please, Naruto, try to understand."

"I just can't." I spoke darkly.

"I love you, Naruto. I don't want to see you go down this path."

"You're lying. You hate me. Just admit it. You hate me because I'm fucked up your perfect little family."

Both of us were silent for a while. I looked around from the corner of my eyes to see if anybody was paying attention to us. It seemed as if nobody really cared what we were talking about. I didn't want to make a scene. One giant drama was enough for one day.

"Do you hate me?" my father asked me abruptly.

Without even thinking I blurted out a yes. I didn't care if it was out in the open now. This conversation was the straw that broke the camel's back. He didn't know what I was going through, but pretended to understand.

With that done, I left the room. I didn't even bother to look back. I hoped that my father felt like shit. That's how I have been feeling ever since I came here.


After the parents were gone, I went over to the office area where the head of the camp was. I was nervous about this meeting. I didn't know what to expect. This was really scary. I didn't know which was worse, seeing the drama earlier today, dealing with my father, or this. Right now, the police incident was looking really good.

I fumbled with my necklace for a bit before somebody came in the office. It was my grandmother.

"Isn't that against the rules?" she asked, pointing at the my old gift.

"You gave it to me when I was little. Haven't taken it off ever since."

"Really?" she smirked.

"Yeah. I always liked it. It was pretty."

She chuckled a little.

"What's so funny?"

"I remember the conversation I had with your parents about that necklace. They thought it was a little too feminine for a boy your age."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Told them what was the worst it could do." She snorted out loud.

"Are you saying that this necklace made me gay?" I asked oddly.

"Nope. Just saying that the signs were always there. Your obsession with all things Clay, your statement as to why you wanted my necklace, you blubbering all the time when you were little. Your mom said it was because you were sensitive. Ha!"

"I'm not a Clay fan though."

"That's besides the point. You were always a damn little fairy." She stated flatly.

I couldn't believe what my grandmother was saying to me. There was no way this woman was the mother of my father. She was supposed to be just as, if not more, hard-nosed than my father. But here she was, joking around with me.

"But that still gives you no right to be an arse to your father. I can't believe you told him you hated him."

"He told you?" I asked.

"No, Kushina did." My grandmother sighed as she mentioned my mom.

"Oh."

"Your mother and I have been talking a lot since you were put here."

"What you both talk about?" I asked.

I knew I had no right to ask. But I wanted to know out of curiosity. My grandmother and mom don't get along too well. I think it's because mom has to deal with dad comparing how she does things differently than how grandma does things—and vice-versa.

"Well, for starters, she told me how your father broke down with your spoiled little princess act when they both dropped you off."

I slumped a bit in guilt at what my grandmother said. I could imagine my dad falling apart at the front door as soon as they got home. I could vividly see the images of my father's body heaving as tears streamed down, fearing that he lost his youngest son and that I hated him.

"Look, Naruto, I'm not trying to put you through a guilt trip or anything. I know that your father is not perfect. Hell, I've seen him fall down lots of times. I've seen him do things that he's not proud of. But he's human. He's going to make mistakes. Don't be so hard on him. He really does love you."

"I love him too. I just don't see why he abandoned me here." I muttered.

"Naruto," my grandmother whispered as she hugged me.

Sometimes I hated it when she would do this. She would practically push my face into her cleavage. But right now, I really didn't care. It felt nice to actually have a hug from somebody that cared.

"Naruto, he didn't abandon you. He and your mother think that you need this right now. You need to sort your feelings and your issues here, away from them. They are doing this because they love you. Both of them. And don't you ever forget that."

I nodded my head at what my grandmother said. I was going to keep those words close to my heart. I needed them to renew my faith. I was going to need that for this place. This camp had a way of washing away the peace.

I heard an old man call for me and my grandmother stood up. She hugged me once more and walked out of the room. I stood up cautiously and went into the man's office. I had to stand firm. I was going to survive this situation no matter what.

As soon as I walked into the room, I felt a strong punch of cologne hit my face. I didn't expect that. It smelled like thirty old men and my grandfather's "Den". I think it's some sort of unwritten rule that old men must have their rooms marked with this scent.

I coughed a little before I sat down on the chair. I really didn't want to even look at the man. I was too nervous with this circumstance. I didn't know what to anticipate. But I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that nothing good was going to happen.

"Well, I thought about your punishment. You shall go fasting for a the week. Perhaps suffering some of the struggles those in the bible have gone through will make you see differently. The cafeteria knows you are not to be served food. Only water. You can go on now."

I couldn't believe it. He just acted as if he was talking about the weather. There was no way I was going to survive a week without food. The longest I've been without food was just skipping a meal. That was it.

"I said you can leave. I have work to do and I don't want you here." The man snapped.

I got up and left the office. I was just stunned at what happened. I couldn't even speak to him my outrage. I never would have expected that to happen. Was I really going to go on a week without food? He had to be kidding me. They can't take away food from me? Can they?

I have heard that they do that in prison. But in the end of it all, this place isn't a penitentiary. This place was a camp for young "troubled" youth trying to get on the "straight" path. This had to be some sort of child abuse here. They can't make me fast because I got arrested. My mom mentioned to Ino's mom that I got arrested here and the day after the incident, the police officer who arrested me called saying that one of the other kids were caught and confirmed that I only stumbled to the party and that the only thing I did was drink less than a quarter of booze. All my charges were dropped, something I was extremely lucky to have happened. I knew that it doesn't happen all the time.


It was getting dark now. And the old guy was right. I wasn't allowed to eat. All I was allowed was water. I wasn't even allowed to have some milk. When I was asked by the group (Sasuke wasn't even there) why I didn't get something to eat, I made a dissembling lie about how I wasn't hungry. I wasn't sure if they could see through it, but they left it at that.

Gaara and I were still a little weird with each other ever since I witnessed him throw his paroxysm. But not enough where we couldn't walk alone together to the cabin. That, I was a little thankful for. He seems like a good guy. I want to get to know him more. I'm pretty sure Gaara will be a very good friend.

"I'm sorry about what happened in the room the other day." I muttered.

"Sorry for my outburst. Just don't get into my business."

"They won't let me eat." I blurted to him.

"And they burned part of my face."

That was when I knew I had a right to be scared of this place. If Gaara got burned because he was wearing eye liner and had some tattoo, what were they really going to do to me when I got arrested? I was frightened for my own safety. I really wished right now that my father would have let me come home with him. But I don't think he will believe me if I told him what this place was doing.

I have a feeling he will only believe that I am making this up so I could get back home. I mean, it appears that all of the parents believe that their children are safe. How could these "nice people" allow such horrible things to such young people?

"This place is going to test us…" Gaara muttered.

"And not just our faith." I finished.

Gaara nodded his head to me and we continued to walk in silence.

After walking on the tortuous trail, we made our way to the cabin. Sai looked annoyed for some reason. I didn't know why he was outside. He could easily stay inside the cabin instead of waiting outside for everybody.

"Can one of you go get Kakashi?" Sai asked. "I can't get inside."

"There's no lock." Gaara pointed out.

"But I can't open the door."

I didn't bother to deal with it. I just sat on the ground and waited for somebody to go and get Kakashi. He'll figure something out. I don't know when, or how, but I found myself lulled to sleep by the small argument Gaara and Sai had.


I woke up some time later with Kakashi slamming his body into the cabin door. It seemed like the door was barricaded from the force Kakashi was using. I wonder how that happened.

After a few more minutes of slamming the door open, the door gave way. All of us got inside the cabin to find it a wreak. Our clothes were scattered all over the place. Pencils and papers were almost flying. Most of the mattresses were upturned. And in the center of this disaster was Sasuke.

"Clean this crap up." Gaara stated darkly.

"Fuck off." Sasuke growled.

"Stop acting like a little drama queen because your daddy said some shit to you."

"Say that again and see what happens." Sasuke warned.

"Get over yourself. Life sucks, you're not the only one who has a daddy who hates them." Gaara said this dangerously close to the Uchiha's face.

Sasuke suddenly spat on his face. Gaara had fire in his eyes at what Sasuke did. And without warning an explosive paroxysm erupted between the two boys. Both were punching and kicking. I swear, I saw one of them biting the other.

Kakashi and Sai grabbed the two boys. Gaara elbowed Kakashi in the gut in an attempt to get a few more hits to Sasuke. In the corner of my eye, I saw my guitar. I was horrified at what I saw. My guitar had a crack on her neck. The guitar that I had almost all my life was treated like some punching bag because of the event that went on between a father and son. I don't think I can ever forgive him for doing this. Sky was one of the only things that kept me fighting. She was my music, and he attempted to silence her voice.

TBC


Well, another chapter has ended. I want to thank all of those who have reviewed this story and Bike for writing WWJD.

I want to thank all of those who have favorite the story and favorite me as well.

I want to say thanks to my Beta Reader. You rock.

About my "threat" last chapter... Not really one. I was just frustrated with the lack of reviews... I'm struggling with trying to fill in the blacks... And normally, for me, reviews actually help me with finding out what the readers want to see. And also, because I haven't had time to even write in general, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to even update for a good long while. Hell, I am not even done with the next chapter. Getting close, but close doesn't cut it. I'm trying to get the chapter and three more done. I have a written scene that needs to be fitted somewhere. I know that I'm going to need it, but finding a place for it is going to be tricky...

And one of the reviewers, who was anon:

Type-o's I never caught. I'm too lazy to even deal with it. And, if that's how you feel... Then meh... That's how you feel.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Because, I am dead serious, I probably won't be updating for a very very very very VERY long time. Life is getting in the way, and I gotta get ready to greet my baby sister who is coming over for the holidays.

If I am able to finish chapter 12 before Christmas, then that is my gift to you.

Now, review. I need to figure out what the hell I need done in the story.