Hello folks! You are going to love this chapter, let me tell ya:) I'd like to dedicate this next chapter to dazynl8 for all her wonderful, wild, insane, heartfelt, and humorous reviews. YOU ROCK! O/\O cyber high five!
I'd also like to thank:
Echo Uchiha :)
FireStarDragon1019 Arigato!
Plain. Toast. II Isn't Sasuke-kun just adorable under that woman's thumb? ADORABLE!
Thanks all to my subscribers, and to the folks who added this story to their favorites. Arigato!
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it- and believe me, I really enjoyed writing it!
Sasuke just finished his 5th drink.
It had only been an hour since the party began.
He wasn't sure how much longer he was going to last.
"Come on hun, lighten up!" Anko elbowed him in the side, smiling evilly. She refilled his glass.
"I'm not sure you're not trying to drug me."
Anko rolled her eyes. "I don't need to drug you to get you to do what I want you to do. I've already beaten manners into you, and I'm pretty sure I already have your balls in a vice. So relax."
"Hn. You really know how to make me relax."
Ignoring the irony, she winked. "Yep."
Sasuke thought hopelessly, She takes pure delight in ruining my life. I'm a condemned man.
Just then Temari and Shikamaru came over to the newly engaged couple. "Congrats you two! If anyone can make this emo bastard happy through constant beat down and torture, it's you Anko-chan!" Tenten beamed at Anko, who returned her oh-so-bright-smile. Sasuke closed his eyes. He was getting a migraine from all the sunny dispositions lighting up the room. Seeing his comrade's pain, Shikamaru snorted. "Hey bro, I feel ya. Congrats. I guess." That last part was whispered under his breath, so only Sasuke would hear. Shikamaru continued, "We should play Shogi together sometime. It would give us a break from things that are troublesome."
And if by things you mean our respective fiances, then yes, it would give us a break from troublesome women. Sasuke caught his drift and nodded. "Sounds nice, Nara."
Sasuke looked out over the room. He saw Sakura and Ino giggling together, drinking iced tea and being doted on by Lee and Choji, respectively. I'll never know how those two losers managed to get engaged to the best looking kunoichi in Konoha.
Anko elbowed him in the side, as if she could read his thoughts and knew he hadn't included her in the category of "best looking women in Konoha". She eyed him the way a cat might playfully eye a mouse. Damn her.
"Well, Sasuke-kun, why don't you introduce me to the rest of your unborn progeny?" Sasuke nodded. Sighing, he took Anko's arm and brought her over to where he had been staring only moments before.
"Oi, Sasuke-kun, Anko-chan! Congrats!" Ino beamed up at the couple.
"Hn." Sasuke mumbled.
Anko elbowed him in the ribs. "He means thanks, Ino-chan! Isn't that right, sweeheart?"
Sasuke gulped. "Thanks Ino-chan. Congrats to you and Choji-san as well on your recent engagement." Sasuke shot Anko an evil look, but it just caused her smile to broaden. This woman is going to be the death of me... But Sasuke didn't have time to brood for long, because Sakura came over and hit him over the head with her monstrous strength.
Rubbing the swollen bump on his head, Sasuke muttered, "Nani?"
Sakura laughed, "Hn. Just because." Sasuke groaned inwardly. I am now surrounded by troublesome women who are all carrying my children, and they are going to torture me the rest of my life.
"Hai! Sakura-chan, that was most youthful!" Rock Lee embraced his fiance and kissed her passionately on the mouth. Sasuke thought sardonically, It looks like he's trying to suck her soul out of her body via her lips. Hn. Anko elbowed him in the side again, as if she knew what he was thinking. Sasuke just shook his head, miserable.
Anko's eyes scrunched up in laughter and retorted, "Ah, Sasuke-kuuun, you know you love being miserable." She grabbed his ass, but Sasuke's look of surprise had more to do with her mind reading abilities. Ino giggled and winked at Anko in a conspiratorial fashion, but before Sasuke could wrap his mind around that, Anko proclaimed (a bit loudly for his taste), "So friends, I haven't been around in months- fill me in on how you guys all got together!"
Ino put her arms around Choji and smiled. "I'm just surprised me and Choj didn't get together earlier! I must be the densest girl in Konoha- I've been in love with this guy my whole life, but it took me this long to figure it out!"
"Aw, shucks sweetie." Choji blushed and planted a modest kiss on Ino's cheek. She ruffled his hair affectionately and continued, "It's true. You've always been there for me...and I was too blinded by superficial things..." Sasuke took superficial things to be referring to him, and he could feel a slight blush forming on his cheeks. Damn cheeks. Damn women. Damn blushing. Damn damn damn! Sasuke thought sullenly.
Choji laughed. "Nothing cataclysmic happened to get us together. I just wanted to take care of Ino as she was...going through a hard time, and everything just came together..." Sasuke's blush increased as he understood that the phrase "hard times", again, politely pointed to Sasuke.
Sakura cheered as Ino stopped Choji's mouth with a kiss. "You guys are the cutest!"
Choji broke away from the kiss and smiled. "Well, I couldn't let my best friend raise a baby all by herself."
Sasuke snorted and changed the subject. "So Sakura-chan, how did you end up with...Lee-san?" He was going to say "the keebler elf ninja" but Anko had stopped him with a death glare.
"Yosh! It was most youthful! Allow me to tell the tale, Sakura-chan! I heard that Sakura-chan was pregnant, and wanted to make sure she had everything she needed; I offered to come over and cook dinner for her everyday, and to my surprise she accepted!"
"Oh Lee-kun, you're being too modest! Besides, how could I say no when you showed up with flowers, chocolates, and 2 pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream? How did you even know that was my favorite flavor! It was so thoughtful of you, I've never had anyone take such good care of me as you have these past few months." At this she looked over at Sasuke and stuck her tongue out at him, in such a way that Lee wouldn't see. "I don't know where I'd be without you."
Sasuke, for some unknown reason, was beginning to feel like ass. Or he was feeling like an ass, he wasn't sure which one. How am I, the legendary and amazing Uchiha, getting overshadowed by these chumps? Anko leaned over, and to all outward appearances leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek; in actuality, she hissed in his ear, "Don't be so full of yourself, daaaaarling."
He shot her a look of pure terror- How does she know?
"So Anko-chan, how did you and Sasuke-kun hook up?"
Anko's mouth turned up in a sly grin. Pure evil incarnate Sasuke thought mournfully. Anko wrapped her arm around Sasuke's back and pinched his ass in such a way so all of his friends could see. Sasuke groaned inwardly, mortified, as Anko took up the thread of conversation.
"Well, we were on a long, boring mission...and I got, well, bored. And...hmmm...decided to go after my prey." She affectionately swatted Sasuke on the head. "Getting him to accept my marriage proposal took some work, but eventually I wore him down. I couldn't be happier!"
Sadistic woman Sasuke moaned to himself.
Anko grabbed his butt again as Sakura cooed, "Well, I couldn't be happier for the two of you- I think you're just perfect together!"
Ino chimed in, "Tell us about when you proposed Anko-chan!"
Anko flashed a toothy grin. "We had just set up camp for the day, and Sasuke here was concentrating on setting up his tent. I crept up slowly behind him, tackled him, put a kunai up to this throat, and told him to marry me or die." Anko laughed throatily. "That was just the first time I asked him." She winked at Sasuke.
Sakura and Ino broke out into hysterical laughter- Choji looked startled, but Lee fisted the air- "Ah, the passion of YOUTH!"
Sasuke closed his eyes as Anko continued. "As I recall, that night after I popped the question we had quite the- ahem- sparring match."
At this point, Ino and Sakura were rolling on the floor with laughter; Choji's face turned beat red, and Lee yelled, "Ah, it is most youthful to spar. You two must be on equal terms when it comes to sparring."
Anko winked at Lee, who obviously was not the brightest crayon in the box. "Oh, Sasuke's pretty talented, yes, definitely a prodigy when it comes down to it, but I'd say that I dominate him in our sparring!" Anko began to chortle.
Lee, still in the dark, proclaimed, "Ah, Anko, you must truly be a formidable opponent to beat the infamous Uchiha Sasuke in sparring matches."
"Hai, Lee-san, I believe he enjoys it very much when I beat him, over and over again, in our sparring matches. He's...into that kind of thing!"
By now, the two Kunoichi on the floor were crying profusely between their fits of laughter. Sasuke grimly thought that he no longer had any claim to manhood.
"Oi! Sakura-chan! Ino-chan! Are you two alright?" Lee asked, concerned as he noticed their tears.
Choji muttered, "Don't worry Lee, they're...ahem...fine." Regardless, both men helped their respective fiances to stand up again.
Sakura managed to say, between bouts of hysterical laughter, "Oh- don't mind me Anko-chan, ha-ha-ha, I don't know what came over me! Please, continue with your story! What happened the next time you proposed to Sasuke-kuuuun?"
"Hmmm, well I proposed so many times, I can't seem to remember them in chronological order, so I'll just tell you my favorite time! Sasuke-kun was fishing in a nearby stream. I henged myself to look like a snake and slithered up to him, and before he knew what hit him, I had him completely bound up in snakes. I kept dunking his head in the water, and when he came up for air I'd pop the question. When he said no, I put his head under again- ah fun times!"
"Ah, and did you- haha- spar again after that?" Asked Ino, much too gleefully for Sasuke's taste.
Anko winked. "Indeed, we sparred right there in the water!"
Lee nodded, "Ah, that is quite youthful indeed!"
Sasuke mumbled, "I need to go get some fresh air honey, be back-"
"Oh but Sasuke-kuuuuuun, before you go out tell them about when I proposed to you and you finally said yes!" Anko winked.
Sasuke blushed. "Um...Anko dearest, that story isn't really fit for public...darling...hn."
Sakura and Ino's eyes both bugged out of their heads. Before he was forced to relive his sexual exploits (yeah... that night had been special...he blushed just thinking about it. Icha Icha Makeout Tactics didn't hold a candle to what Anko did to him that night) in front of his former fan girls, he made a quick exit.
As he stepped outside, he took a long gulp of the cool night air, and realized the air smelled cloyingly of tobacco. "Oi, Nara, you out here?"
"Oi, Uchiha, over here." Sasuke made his way over to a nearby oak tree, where Shikamaru was currently hiding.
"Hey man, can I bum one of those?" Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief when the Nara nodded and handed him a cigarette.
"Having a tough time with the lady folk?"
Sasuke nodded. "You don't know the half of it. I think I just signed myself up for a life of misery with that woman."
Shikamaru took a long drag of tobacco and exhaled with a sigh. "Hai, women are troublesome." He passed Sasuke the lighter.
As he fumbled with his cigarette, Sasuke asked his companion, "How do you managed to stay with your girlfriend and not go completely insane?"
Shikamaru mulled over the question in his mind before he spoke. "Well, I suppose it's possible that I'm already insane and thus that is why I stay with such a scarey woman. Then again, I do love her, in spite of or because of her sadistic characteristics I'll never know. Finally...the sex is damn good." The Nara shrugged.
"Hn. Never thought we'd have so much in common Shikamaru."
The Nara punched Sasuke playfully in the shoulder as he replied, "Of course, not only do you have your fiance to deal with, but you are also at the mercy of all the many mothers of your children."
Sasuke took a long drag. "Hn. I'm in for a long life of pain."
Shikamaru nodded. "I wouldn't trade places with you for all the tea in China."
"Hn."
Tune in next time for the most epic epilogue, "10 years later..."!
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