GoA: *Looks up from his desk and peers closely* You… you are very much Uchiha Itachi.
Itachi: Yep.
GoA: Why are you here?
Itachi: Remember when yron33 said he'd send me on you for not writing more Gender Bender?
GoA: Yes?
Itachi: He wasn't bluffing.
GoA: Ah. So, what now? Sharingan to make me think I'm on fire?
Itachi: Nope.
GoA: Fireball jutsu to actually set me on fire?
Itachi: No, but close.
GoA: Okay, what then- What's that lighter for?
Itachi: 8D
GoA: D8
Lee listed off his accomplishments, "Sakura and Ino are friends again?"
"Ino-pig!"
"Sakura-forehead!"
"More or less," Naruto answered.
"Gaara and Haku have stopped their devious plotting?"
"So, where could we find a spike pit?" Haku asked.
"Can the spike pit be used?" Gaara asked.
"Sure."
"Then I think I know a guy."
"Why not?" Naruro said.
"And Sasuke is alright?" Lee listed last.
"My arms, they pulled them from my sockets…" The Uchiha genius moaned, "By the Sharingods, why? Why? Why must I still feel my ARMS!?"
"Would you define alright as 'Still alive?'" Naruto asked.
"I believe my work here is done," Lee said, "Up, up and AWAY."
And Rock Lee jumped so high in the air he almost flew.
That night…
"Brat."
"Fox."
"I see you have yet to seduce a male."
"Yeah, about that. Since you're gay, aren't you a wee-bit uncomfortable inside a girl?"
"I'd ask if that was an innuendo but I realize you don't have the capacity to think of such things."
"Huh?"
"Precisely. Besides, I've thought of that. Since last we've met, I gave myself a sex change."
"Er... how?"
"Well, one I'm the Kamidamned Kyuubi! I can do whatever the hell I want."
"Oh..."
"And second, their is nothing that can't be solved by liberal applications of oral violence."
Naruto looked up at the big dark cage for a moment, as her mind-within-her-mind tried to work what that meant. When she finally came to the right conclusion, she did not like it very much.
"Now with that lovely thought, let's see what pleasant dreams your subconscious cooks up!" The Kyuubi laughed as she sent Naruto back into dreaming.
Naruto had nightmares.
When the young jinchuuriki awoke with a shriek, she clutched her head and muttered, "And I wondered why Gaara couldn't sleep."
Meanwhile, at the hastily assembled Wind Country Embassy. And by, hastily assembled, Gaara fucking made it and maintains it WITH HIS MIND. Fuck yeah!
....
Where was I?
Oh yeah, the wacky adventures of Gaara of the Sand and Shikaku One-Tail...
"I WANNA ROCK! ROCK!"
Gaara clutched his head, trying to block out the racoon demon's constantly singing so he could get some freakin' shut eye!
"Kamidamnit, if some guy came out to me and told me he'd get rid of you, I'd sign-up so hard even if it meant my painful agonizing death!"
Somewhere, Deidara sneezed with all four of his mouths.
"I find it creepy when you do that," Sasori told him while modifying his battle-armor puppet Hiruko.
"Well, I find it creepy when you get friendly with your puppets," Deidara retorted.
"... I hope you die, Deidara."
"I hope you die first."
"I hope you die ugly and fat."
"I hope you die at the hands of a little girl and a old lady!"
The next day…
"So can I be a Konoha ninja?" Zabuza asked.
"Sure," Tsunade said.
"Really?"
"No. Now go back to your torture chamber. Ibiki has this corkscrew technique he wants to try."
"Awww…."
After the dejected missing-nin left a ANBU officer approached, "Um… Hokage. Could you…. Look outside your windows?"
And Tsunade did just that, noticing a giant tower of ice and sand on either side. She cocked a brow and turned to the officer, "Well, come on. Let's go greet the new neighbors."
