Summary: Ryan is shot and develops amnesia, causing him to forget Richie as well as Annie. He believes it's four years previous and he's in love with Kendall. Takes place in early 2008.
A/N: I know it's been a very long time since I updated this! I kind of lost my muse after what they did with Richie's character and all the other convoluted story lines that emerged from that(not to mention the end of the show). Hopefully the muses are back! Thanks to all who've read and reviewed so far. :)
Another night of pretending.
Ryan repeated this sentence over and over as he got ready to go to Greenlee's dinner party.
Another night of pretending there was nothing wrong with his and Annie's marriage, another night of having to sit across from Richie and Babe, another night of having to endure watching her come onto Richie.
Another night of pretending the person he really wanted was his wife when it wasn't.
It was her brother
Ryan didn't know how much longer he could keep up this pretense. Richie was not doing as well as they had hoped with the clinical trials and the doctor said he most likely would need a bone marrow transplant.
The situation was getting more and more desperate, and Richie needed him for support.
Instead of being with him, however, Ryan was stuck playing the dutiful husband to Annie.
He'd been worried about Annie's reaction and even more worried she'd do something like try and take Emma away if Ryan asked for a divorce.
Especially if she knew about him and Richie.
Richie sighed inwardly as Babe chattered away about how nice it was that Greenlee invited them to her dinner party and how happy she was that things were going so well at Fusion and she and Greenlee and Kendall were getting along and…
"What do you think of that idea, Richie?"
Richie realized with a start that Babe had asked him a question. Damn, he shouldn't have zoned out like that.
It was getting harder and harder to continue this charade and Richie was getting tired of it.
He was tired of pretending he really, really, really liked Babe.
He knew he'd have to stop this very soon, because although he and Babe were not exclusively dating Richie knew she was starting to like him too much, and he was getting strong signals from her that she wanted more from him.
One of the things he knew she wanted was sex, but Richie couldn't bring himself to have sex with her when he was in love with Ryan.
Even though Ryan was still with Annie.
How did things get so complicated?
Richie felt another headache coming on as he contemplated the mess his life was and then realized Babe was still waiting for an answer to her question.
"I'm sorry Babe; I have a headache and am having trouble concentrating. What did you say?"
"Oh Richie, I'm sorry! Here I am chatting away and not even realizing you might not be feeling well!" Babe looked so concerned Richie wanted to smack himself.
"It's ok, really Babe. Now what did you ask me?"
"Oh- it seems silly now. I was just wondering what you thought of going to the charity costume ball that Fusion is giving for Valentine's Day. I understand if you don't feel up to it, though."
"A –ball? " Richie sighed inwardly. A Valentine's Day ball given by Fusion would mean Ryan would have to be there for Annie. Richie might as well go. It would be the only way he'd get to spend time with Ryan that night.
"Sure, Babe. Why not?"
Babe smiled happily and kissed Richie on the cheek.
How much simpler things would be if that was enough for him, Richie thought.
It was just his luck that the lips he wanted to be touching him were the ones that belonged to his sister's husband.
Ryan was bringing drinks over to the coffee table when Richie walked in.
They smiled at each other and Ryan felt that same heat he did every time Richie walked into a room.
God, he wished he could just divorce Annie and be done with it.
But she was getting more and more possessive, which puzzled Ryan because when they were alone she seemed to try and put as much distance between the two of them as she could.
Ryan was becoming convinced the real reason Annie was holding onto him was because she didn't want to have another "failure" of a marriage. She'd told him that before, and Ryan believed her.
"That was a wonderful dinner, Greenlee!" Babe exclaimed. "I didn't even know you could cook!"
"I am a woman of many talents," Greenlee grinned at Aiden as she said that, and he winked at her.
"She is," Aiden concurred.
Everyone gathered around the sofa, settling in with their after dinner drinks and coffee.
The conversation was flowing and Ryan was just starting to relax when he saw a red light flash on Kendall's forehead.
Instinctively, he jumped in front of her just as a shot rang out and the world went dark.
When Ryan woke up he was surrounded by four very anxious looking people.
He smiled warmly at Kendall and nodded at Greenlee.
He looked curiously at the other two, not knowing who they were.
Everyone looked very worried and Ryan realized he was in a hospital bed.
"Ryan, thank God! We were so worried about you!" The brunette he didn't recognize came over to him and kissed him on the lips.
The man who was standing next to her grimaced slightly but said nothing.
"I'm sorry-who are you?" Ryan asked. "What happened to me?"
The brunette looked shocked and the man looked stunned.
Kendall and Greenlee gasped.
"You don't remember?" Kendall asked, and she sounded very scared.
"You don't know who I am?" the brunette asked, and she sounded frightened as well.
"Ryan, you were shot!" Greenlee exclaimed. "Someone tried to shoot Kendall and you threw yourself in front of her! "
"Really?" Ryan couldn't remember any of it. He looked at Kendall worriedly. "Who was trying to shoot you? And why?"
"We're not sure," Kendall said. "But Zach is looking into it and I'm sure he'll find out something soon."
"Zach? Who is he?"
"Who is he? He's my husband!"
"Stop joking, Kendall," Ryan said, although he wasn't smiling. "You're engaged to me. We're supposed to be married this May!"
"Ryan- you're married to Annie!" Greenlee chimed in, gesturing to the brunette. "What year do you think this is?"
"It's 2004," Ryan looked around at the confused faces around him. "Isn't it?"
"Ryan, it's January, 2008," the man spoke, looking like he was trying very hard not to panic.
Ryan didn't remember ever meeting this man, but he had the feeling he knew him.
He just couldn't figure out how.
"Who are you?" Ryan asked.
The man shut his eyes and for a moment Ryan thought the guy was going to be sick.
"I'm Richie. Annie's brother," the man said quietly. "We work together. And-we're friends."
"Work together? What? Kendall!" Ryan started to feel panicky. "What the hell is going on?"
Kendall rushed to his side. "Ryan, just calm down. I'm sure this is a temporary thing. It seems like you have amnesia. I'll get the doctor. She'll be able to tell us more about it."
"Yes, I'm sure it's something that happens often with head wounds," Greenlee added.
"This is insane!" the woman named Annie shouted. "You don't remember me-or our daughter?"
"I have a daughter?" Ryan's voice got louder and more agitated as he tried to get out of the bed.
"Easy, Ryan," the man said in a soothing voice. He touched Ryan's arm and something about it was comforting and somehow familiar.
"Let me get the doctor," Kendall ran out to get the doctor, hoping that she could explain to all of them what was going on.
"Mr. Lavery, hello. I'm Doctor Sanders. How are you feeling?" The doctor asked in a calm voice, obviously hoping she'd be able to calm Ryan down.
"I-can't remember anything! What happened to me? Why am I like this? Is it permanent?"
"Mr. Lavery, I can assure you that amnesia is common after a head trauma such as the one you experienced. Most people recover their memory fully within a very short time."
"Most people? So not all? And what is a very short time? Doctor! I have a daughter I can't remember-and –a wife!" He looked at Annie but still couldn't place her. He looked at Kendall and felt a sense of relief, and love.
He didn't care how much time had gone by. He couldn't believe he and Kendall weren't still in love with each other.
"Well, Mr. Lavery most people experience a full recovery of their memories. A very small percentage don't remember everything, but they do remember most of their past. But given the part of the brain that was wounded I'd say you should have complete recall. How long it takes depends on the healing process, but it typically doesn't take more than a week or so."
"What if it doesn't, doctor?" Richie asked, and again Ryan had the sense Richie was trying not to panic.
He must love his sister very much, Ryan thought.
"Let's keep an optimistic attitude Mr.-?" The doctor looked questioningly at Richie.
"Novak. Richie Novak. I'm Mrs. Lavery's brother."
"Mr. Novak. Let's keep an optimistic attitude. Everything should be fine." She paused and looked at the anxious group gathered around Ryan. "You should leave now and let Mr. Lavery get some rest."
Everyone reluctantly prepared to leave.
Ryan grabbed onto Kendall's hand as she tried to leave.
"Come back soon, please?" he asked.
Kendall nodded, obviously uncomfortable with Ryan's affection.
Annie shook her head in anger and stormed out.
Richie said goodnight and Ryan closed his eyes.
When he opened them a moment later Richie was still watching him, a forlorn expression on his face.
Then he was gone.
"Damn it! How the fuck can he do this to me!" Annie said through angry tears as they made their way down to the parking lot.
"Annie, for God's sake! The man was shot, cut him some slack!" Richie yelled. "It's not like he's deliberately forgotten you!" Richie had repeated that over and over in the elevator.
Ryan had NOT deliberately forgotten him.
For some reason he just woke up remembering a time when he loved someone else.
"Oh, I think he's faking!" Annie threw her purse down on the hood of the car.
Kendall and Greenlee protested and Richie just shook his head.
Trust Annie to look for the most irrational explanation.
"How could you say that?" Kendall asked."You heard what the doctor said! And he was shot-we all saw that!"
"Yes, he was shot trying to save YOU!" Annie pointed her finger accusingly at Kendall.
"I- it's not my fault!"
"But you love the fact that he thinks he's in love with you. You must have done something to make him think you still loved him before he was shot!"
Kendall looked like she was going to cry, and Greenlee advanced on Annie as though she were going to hit her.
"Take that back you little bitch!" Greenlee screamed.
"I won't! It's true and you know it! She has to have every man in love with her!"
Greenlee threw her bag on the floor and Richie sighed.
A fight was the last thing any of them needed.
"Listen, please let's just stop it!" he implored. "Things are hard enough right now. All of our emotions are frayed and we're all still in shock, but we shouldn't be turning on each other. We should be focusing on helping Ryan, who I'm SURE is not faking his amnesia! Now both of you, back off!"
The moment seemed to break the spell and Richie heaved a sigh of relief.
He really didn't have the strength to keep Greenlee from attacking Annie right now.
He wasn't even sure he wanted to try.
Annie was acting like the selfish pain in the ass he remembered her being when they were growing up.
"Oh, let's just go home," Annie muttered as she got into the car.
Greenlee took Kendall's arm and the two of them walked back to Greenlee's car.
Nobody said goodbye.
After making sure that Annie had gotten home and calmed down (and then talking to Emma because Annie was "too upset" to do so) Richie got into his car and drove back toward the hospital.
He had no idea what he was going to do if Ryan happened to be up when he visited.
He guessed he'd just say he wanted to make sure he was ok so he could put Annie's mind at ease.
His emotions were in a whirl and he felt like doing some banging and throwing of things himself.
He was thrilled that Ryan had what was apparently an easy injury to heal from, of course.
But what if he never did remember Richie?
What if he never remembered their relationship and their plans?
Richie knew he wasn't doing well with the drugs.
In a short time he was going to have to get a blood marrow donor or die.
He didn't want to go through either of those things without Ryan.
Now it seemed like he might have to.
He thought back to Annie's outburst and wondered.
Richie knew that Ryan hadn't deliberately wanted to fall in love with Kendall, or to remember a time when they were still together.
But did it have some deeper meaning that he knew nothing about?
What if, deep down Ryan HAD never gotten over Kendall and wanted to be stuck in that time again?
He might never remember-he might not WANT to remember.
Ryan might remember nothing about his and Richie's relationship.
Nothing.
Richie sat down in the chair near Ryan's bed, watching him sleep and monitoring him for any discomfort.
He seemed relaxed.
Richie wondered if he was having dreams of Kendall and sighed.
"What are you dreaming about, Ryan? Do you really remember nothing? Do you even want to remember?"
He lightly caressed Ryan's face with his hand.
"I love you. I hope you remember that," he said and left the room as quietly as he'd come.
Ryan opened his eyes.
He could have sworn he felt someone touch his face and say "I love you", but he couldn't place who it was.
It sounded like a man's voice, though.
It wasn't Jonathan's voice-so who was it?
Why was there someone here saying "I love you" and saying he hoped Ryan remembered that?
It was probably just a dream, Ryan mused.
The touch felt real, though, and warm.
And familiar.
TBC
