If I Only
It was a week later and Sora was sitting in the Hospital Wing of Disney Castle. His seat was next to one of the hospital beds, and lying in that bed was an unconscious Ren. Sora had beaten Xemnas and Zexion and was now free, but she hadn't woken up yet. Neither Yen Sid nor Merlin knew what had happened to her, or what the spell was that Zexion had used. If it was meant to kill Sora, then why hadn't it killed Ren? Riku avoided the room at all costs, and Sora believed it was because of what Ren had done to him all those years ago. Kairi tried to comfort Sora and get him to leave the room. But he never did. He couldn't. Ren had sacrificed herself to make sure he got rid of Xemnas. She might even die, and what could Sora do about it? He'd done everything possible to save her and she'd ended up saving him instead.
"Sora?" Kairi said one morning walking into the room. He looked up and gave her a small smile. Even after he'd blown up at her, she was still friendly towards him. She sat lightly on Ren's bed.
"She's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright. Ren's going to make it out of this. From what you've told me about her, she's a fighter." Kairi put her hand on his. "Why don't you come outside for a bit? You haven't been out in a week. Fresh air might lift your spirits."
"No, it's alright." Sora assured her. "I'm going to stay here a little longer. I want to be here if she wakes up." Kairi nodded and walked out.
Another week passed by and still Ren didn't wake. The monitor said she was dead, and yet, she was still breathing. It had to be a cloak that Xemnas had put over her heart. Sora was still positive that Ren had a heart. The look on Xemnas' face when Ren stepped in front of him said it all. Ren had somehow broken through the spells Xemnas had put around her heart. With all this free time, Sora also got to think about the look on Zexion's face when it happened. He seemed, hurt, and worried. Did Zexion have a heart too? No, that was impossible, Zexion was definitely a Nobody. Eventually these thoughts brought Sora to a deep sleep.
At some point during the night Riku walked in and stood at the foot of Ren's bed. Just the sight of her made his hands shake, but he felt the need to look in on her. After all, if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't have found Sora and Kairi, but then again, they probably wouldn't have gotten in this mess to begin with. Then there was also this strange connection he felt with her. He'd become consumed by darkness, and she was created by it. Riku felt like it was his duty to look out for her, to help her find her way to the light even if she was unconscious. Suddenly a single ray of light shot out from Ren's chest. Her torso arched upward and then the light was gone and her torso fell back to the bed. Riku hurried to the side of the bed and Ren sat up and looked around wildly. She saw Riku, jumped out of bed and ran away from the room. All Riku could do was run after her. It was hard to keep up, but he eventually saw her run into the upper tower. When he opened the door, Riku faintly saw a pair of legs go out the window. He rushed over and looked down. The drop had to be over ten flights, but there was no body.
"This can't be happening." He whispered, unsure of where she could have gone.
"Up here." He looked up and saw Ren sitting on the roof above him. Riku quickly climbed up and sat beside her. Ren had her knees pulled up to her chest, her hair blowing wild in the wind. She looked scared. Riku moved to put his arm around her, but she shied away.
"Please...don't." She said quietly.
"Ren, what's the matter? You're alright now. No one can hurt you." Riku assured her.
"That's not true." She responded, looking out towards the horizon. "It'll never stop. Someone will always be there."
"Like who?"
"I don't know. But as long as I'm around, someone will be trying to control me."
"Ren, nothing bad can happen to you while you're here. You're safe. Sora won't let anything or anyone hurt you." Why was she being so negative? Ren sighed.
"Riku, you don't know what happens to me when I say the incantation. It hasn't fully worn off yet...I don't think it will this time without the counter curse. Never mind what Zexion did."
"Ren what are you talking about?" Ren grabbed her black hair and held it in Riku's face.
"I'm the danger Riku! As long as I have the power I'm the danger! Sora can't protect me from myself! The spell Zexion cast was to turn the target into a creature of darkness! Well I was way ahead of him now wasn't I? They'd used that spell on me when I was ten years old! The only way to make sure someone doesn't try to create another Kingdom Hearts is if the origin of all of it is destroyed."
"Ren, you can't be serious! You're not the cause of all this! Xemnas is! Don't blame yourself for his mistake. Didn't you listen to what he said? Ansem wanted you created in order to get RID of the Heartless, to help him understand their meaning, not to hurt people!"
"I wouldn't expect you to understand Riku. I'm actually shocked you haven't tried to push me off the roof. I mean I did kind of screw up your life, what with bringing you into the darkness and all."
"You didn't screw up my life." He gave her a small smile, "If anything you made it better. Without your intervention, I never would have understood the darkness as much as I do now. Thank you."
"You're thanking me for something that could have killed you?" She scoffed, "That's definitely a new one. I could have easily finished you off had I been given the order."
"I don't think you would have. At least, not after you met Sora." Riku told her.
"Can we please leave him out of this?"
"No." Riku turned her head to face him. "Sora has gone through so much, and had his heart broken one too many times. I'm not going to let you do that to him again. He destroyed Xemnas and Zexion in order to save you. He was willing to let you kill him to give you his heart! He hasn't left your bedside in weeks! He loves you!"
"It's too bad I don't know what love is." Ren responded, looking back at the sky. Riku shook his head.
"But you do Ren. If you didn't love him in return then you would have killed him when you had the chance."
"He saved my life once; I was merely returning the favor."
"Then why did you jump in front of Zexion's spell? You'd already squared your debt with Sora when you spared him." Ren didn't answer. She couldn't. She had no idea what caused her to push Sora out of the way, all she remembered was this strange feeling in her chest right before she made the move.
"I...I don't know. I guess I just couldn't let someone die who had so much to live for. I mean he's got friends, and people rely on him. I couldn't take that away. I figured his life was more important."
"Not to him. Ren you can't keep beating yourself up like this. I know what you're going through even if it's not to the same extreme. I remember what it was like to choose."
"Then what do I do?" She asked, looking Riku in the eye. "I'm so confused."
"Well, what caused you to wake up?" Riku asked.
"I...I was traveling through the darkness. There wasn't another soul around. Suddenly, I looked to my right and thought I saw a speck of white. I began walking in that direction, curious as to what it was. It seemed so far away. I heard a voice telling me to stay where I was, that nothing good could come from the light. But I didn't listen. My curiosity was getting the best of me. Eventually I made it to a point where the light was more than a speck; it was an orb the size of my body. I couldn't help but walk through it." Riku nodded as he listened. "What was that light?"
"For me it was my friends, for you it could be something completely different. It's up to you to figure it out. But Ren, if there's light in you...then there's a heart too. Remember that." Ren nodded and watched as Riku climbed back down into the tower. She followed suit.
"Anytime you think you're heading off in the wrong direction, let me know alright? And don't keep Sora out of it either. He really cares about you."
"But I thought he liked Kairi." Riku chuckled.
"They never would have worked." Ren cocked an eyebrow at this remark. "They're both creatures of light. There's no balance. You and I, Ren, we're their darkness. Without us they would crumble, and without them we'd be stuck in the shadows." Ren was about to respond when Sora came rushing into the tower. He saw Ren and Riku and looked from one to the other confused. Riku smirked and patted Ren on the shoulder.
"Don't forget what I told you alright?" Ren nodded. He walked over towards the door.
"Hey Riku?" Ren called. He stopped in the doorway. "Thanks." He gave a small smile and closed the door behind him. Sora couldn't believe that Ren was awake and standing in front of him. When he'd woken up and saw her bed empty, he panicked. He'd assumed someone had come and taken her to the darkness, or worse...she'd been buried. But there she was, with her long black hair and now hazel eyes. She flinched under his gaze, unsure of what to say.
"Ren?" He asked, his voice cracking. "Is it really you?" Ren nodded and looked at the ground. Even after everything they'd been through, she felt nervous? Yeah that was it, nervous around him.
"Look Sora I'm really sorry you went through all that just to find me. And I'm sorry I almost killed you and I just-" Sora laughed.
"Ren will you shut up?" He said with a smile. "You don't have to apologize for all those things. I mean sure I wasn't one hundred percent sure you wouldn't kill me, but I had a feeling. I couldn't just let you take over the world with Xemnas now could I?" Ren smiled a little. "There we go, that's the smile I wanted to see." He tilted her chin up so that she was looking at him. For a minute, they just stared at each other. Something in his deep blue eyes made everything feel alright.
"Sora...Thanks...for coming to save me that is." She said shyly.
"Not a problem." He told her, "I'd gladly do it again." His voice dropped. "Ren, I-" Ren's hand shot up which silenced him instantly.
"No Sora. Let me talk. When you came back I'm not going to lie, I didn't remember you. I didn't remember you when I gave you back the Keyblade either. But...when Zexion was casting the spell I...I just couldn't let you die. You had to be the one to kill Xemnas for good. I knew that much." She took a few steps away from him.
"Ren what was that spell? Why didn't you die? I mean that's what it was supposed to do wasn't it?" Ren shook her head.
"Xemnas wanted to turn you to the darkness, to force you into it like he'd done to me. That's why I went unconscious. I was already a creature of the dark. All the spell did was give me even more power."
"So...you can't change back?"
"No, I don't think I will ever be the same. But that doesn't mean I can't decide. I never had the option to run my own life; everything was laid out for me even if I didn't know it. But now...now I'm free to choose my own path. You showed me that Sora. You were the first person of pure light I'd ever met. You were the first person who ever thought I could do good in the world. Ryder didn't. He was nice to me, sure, but he'd never told me I could change who I was."
"Ren, you don't have to explain all this to me." Sora interrupted.
"Yes I do Sora. I told Riku some of it, and you have even more right to know. Look, while I was out I saw a light, and instead of staying in the darkness I walked towards it. Riku told me that each person's light is different. I think...Sora I think you were my light. I love you Sora." Ren told him, though she couldn't be sure if what she was feeling was love. But Riku seemed pretty positive. Sora just stared at her for a minute. Had she really said what he thought she did? He didn't give her a chance to take back what she said. Instead, he walked over to her, cupped her face in his hands and gave her a soft, but passionate kiss. Ren didn't know how to respond, but she felt something in her chest moving at a rapid rate and wondered if that was normal.
After Sora broke the kiss, Ren's body began to glow. Her entire body was lifted into the air and she floated extremely close to the ceiling, her body parallel to the floor. A reddish light appeared and slowly fell into Ren's chest. The wind seemed to pick up at this moment and Sora had to shield his eyes in order to see what was going on. Ren's body began to spin and then the white light turned pink and she softly fell back to the ground. The wind stopped and Ren opened her eyes.
"What...what was that?" She asked looking down at her chest. Sora smiled and crossed the room. He took her hands, put one on his chest, and placed the other on hers. Ren gasped when she felt something beating there.
Thub dub...Thub dub...Thub dub
"It's you're heart Ren." Sora said, his grin broadening.
Well...I guess that's it. THE END. I'm a little upset I didn't get more reviews, but I guess I'll live. Please let me know what you thought of this story and check out my other one titled 50/50 and let me know what you think of that one too.
Ciao
RedGypsy
