Learning To Live With A Broken Heart
(Chapter Eleven: A New Life)
Olivia tucked the last of her things into a box and pushed it along the carpet to the front of the apartment for the guys to carry upstairs. The furniture, what she was taking anyway, had already been moved up there. Lucky for her the Johnston's had a vacation planned and recruited movers to pack up all of their things and move them into storage until they returned from their trip. This allowed Olivia a few extra days to get her things out of Trevor's apartment and moved upstairs before they moved in.
"There," she said as she stood up and dusted off her hands. She looked over at Savannah in her carrier kicking and smiling. "In another day or so we will be all settled into our new apartment with Uncle Elliot," Olivia cooed to her daughter before kissing her gently. "I think that was a very good idea you had to ask him to live with us. You really like Elliot, don't you?" Olivia stared down at the baby as if she expected the little girl to verbalize an answer. "Mommy is glad you guys are so close. He is the closest thing you have to a daddy and it is liable to be that way for a while. Mommy just isn't sure if she could ever love anyone else the way she loved daddy. So for a little while at least, it is just going to be you and me. And Uncle Elliot of course. Is that alright with you?"
Olivia sat up and cleared her throat wiping away a tear that hadn't quite had the chance to fall yet as she heard the door open behind her. She turned and looked over her shoulder to see Elliot watching her. She smiled a warm smile and he winked at her.
"What about this stuff?" Fin asked.
"No, just the boxes by the door. The rest of the furniture is staying," Olivia replied.
She scooped up her baby girl and carried her to the elevator.
"We got the nursery all set up," Elliot said kissing the baby on her forehead. "I know it is about time for her nap.
"I'm gonna nurse her and lay her down, then I'll order some lunch for everyone."
"Sounds great," Elliot replied with a smile. "After lunch the guys and I will head over to the other apartment and start bringing my stuff over. That should give you some time to start situating all of this and maybe have a little alone time to unpack or whatever."
"Elliot, I am really glad that you are moving in here with us."
"So am I, Liv." Elliot kissed her forehead gently.
"You don't realize how much you have helped me since I lost Trevor. I don't think I would have made it this long with out you."
"This long?"
"Through the pregnancy and birth and being a mother. And this whole apartment thing. It's just hard, you know. I still miss him so much. I want to get over this and be able to move on. But I don't know if I will ever fully be over him. Every time I think that I have made progress, something happens and I am reminded of how much I loved him and haw much I miss him. And how she will never know him."
"Liv, there is nothing that says you ever have to get over him. He was a big part of your life. You have his child, he will always be a big part of your life. There is nothing wrong with loving him forever. But eventually, when you are ready, you will learn to love again. And anyone who cares enough about you to want to be with you should understand how you feel about Trevor."
"You really think so?"
"Yeah, I do."
Olivia smiled. "Thanks, El."
"No problem sweetheart."
Olivia tucked Savannah into crib in her new bedroom. She turned on the mobile and watched her daughter yawn as the sounds of the soft lullaby began to fill the nursery. Within seconds Savannah closed her little eyes and was sound asleep.
Olivia walked back into the living room of her new apartment and pressed number six on the memory in her cell phone to call she and Elliot's favorite pizza place. She ordered lunch for their group of friends who had helped them both with the move.
They all sat down to eat around the table just moments after Fin and Elliot settled it into it's proper place in the dining room under the crystal and black iron chandelier. Olivia had enough beer and pizza to feed a small army, as she herself settled for a slice of classic pepperoni, a couple of buffalo wings and a mineral water.
"This place is amazing," Fin said looking around the open layout of the large apartment. "My entire apartment would fit inside your living room."
Olivia smiled. "Thank you, Fin. I loved the apartments and the building. The neighbors are all so kind and the neighborhood is about as good as it gets for New York. I loved being here, I just couldn't be in Trevor's apartment. It was too much him. This place is our place. Mine and Savannah's. I think this is the perfect place to raise a baby."
"I feel better about you being alone with the baby, knowing you are in a safe building. I love that they have security and valet parking will come in handy," he replied. "Not that the old place was in a bad neighborhood. But I think you are right, this is a very good place for you and the baby."
"It is sweet that you worry, Fin. But it isn't necessary. Especially now that Elliot has agreed to move in with us for a while. He helps so much with the baby. Savannah adores her uncle Elliot. And I am still clueless about so many things about parenting, he's a Godsend. And it is nice to have a grown up around to talk to."
After lunch Olivia laid down for a short nap while Elliot and the crew headed over to his apartment to load up his stuff. When they returned an hour later Olivia greeted them at the door with a wide eyed baby girl. Savannah watched from the comfort of her mother's arms as the guys carried in boxes of Elliot's belongings and the furniture for his bedroom.
They rearranged furniture and unpacked boxes for hours until the new apartment finally began to look and feel like home. That evening Elliot and Olivia cooked their first dinner in their new place. Olivia lit a few candles as Elliot put on some dinner music and they sat little Savannah on the end of the table in her bouncy seat as they enjoyed their meal.
After dinner was bath time. Olivia gave Savannah her bath first. Then she put the baby girl into her soft sleeper and took her to Elliot to entertain while Olivia got a shower. He laid a blanket in the floor of the living room and laid down placing Savannah on her belly. Elliot smiled and talked baby talk to her as she raised her little head up to look at him. She cooed and smiled as he spoke softly and sweetly to her. Elliot picked up a rattle and shook it as he dragged it across the blanket in front of her. He watched as she smiled again and followed the toy with her big brown eyes.
"Hey you two," Olivia said with a soft smile as she returned from her shower. "Looks like you guys are having fun."
"Getting in a little tummy time. She is following the toy with her eyes now. And holding her head up longer. She is doing really good."
"Yeah, my little girl is growing up. It wont be long and I will be helping her get ready for her first date," Olivia said with tears in her eyes.
"Let's not rush her, Liv. Besides, Savannah and I have had a little talk about boys and we decided that she wont be doing any dating until she is at least thirty."
Olivia laughed. "You did, huh?"
"Yeah. We decided boys are trouble. And by the time she finishes college and medical school and gets her practice up and running, she'll be about thirty before she has time to worry about dating."
"A doctor, huh?"
"That's what she says, anyway. Sounded good to me."
"What kind of doctor does she want to be?"
"She hasn't quite decided. Either a pediatrician or a Veterinarian."
"Oh. Well either way is fine with mommy as long as you are happy," Olivia said with a smile as she placed the rattle in Savannah's hand and closed her tiny fist around it.
"She is going to do amazing things, Liv. I can feel it."
Olivia smiled. "Well, I think she is finished doing amazing things for tonight. It is past her bedtime." Olivia scooped the baby up in her arms and kissed her. "I'm going to nurse her and get her settled into her crib."
"I'll find us a movie and make some popcorn."
"Sounds great," she said as Elliot kissed the baby.
"I'll see you in the morning kiddo. Uncle Elliot will show you how to make pancakes."
Savannah smiled at Elliot and yawned.
"Good night baby doll," he said with a smile.
Olivia walked into the nursery and turned on a little lamp Casey had bought for the nursery that projected stars onto the ceiling. She turned out the overhead light and turned on the music of the mobile. She sat down in the rocking chair and nursed Savannah as they both relaxed to the peaceful sights and sounds around them. Olivia rocked her daughter gently, humming to her until the little girl had drifted off to sleep. She placed Savannah in her crib and turned on the baby monitor.
"It is nice to finally have the move out of the way," she said as she sat down on the couch beside Elliot to watch a movie.
"Yeah. Did you get your room set up?"
"Well, everything I need for tonight anyway. I will work on unpacking the boxes tomorrow. But this place is already starting to feel like home. You get your stuff unpacked?"
Elliot laughed. "The bed is set up. That is all I need tonight."
Olivia smiled. "You know that Savannah is probably going to wake you up when she gets up three times a night to be fed?"
"I have had babies before, Liv. I don't think she could possibly throw anything at me I have not had to face before."
"It wont bother you being woke up three times a night by someone else's baby?"
"Nah, I'll get used to it. And once she gets a little bigger and will take a bottle, I can alternate getting up with her for midnight feedings."
"You would do that?"
"Of course. I love this kid. In some strange way it almost feels like she is ours. I mean like ours, together."
"Yeah, it kind of does feel like that. But I am glad that she has you in her life. A positive male figure. I guess she doesn't have a father anymore. So it is good she has someone who cares so much about her."
"Olivia, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you or that baby."
Olivia smiled. "I know."
Elliot brushed his hand across her forehead pushing her hair from her eyes. "That little girl is very much loved by everyone around her. I thank God every day that you decided to keep her. I know it has been hard, but I think this was the best thing for you and her. It was hard enough for you to have to deal with losing Trevor without losing your baby, too."
"I think if I had given her up, I would have regretted it every day of my life. But I have not once regretted keeping her." She exhaled and laid back against the couch. "I do wonder though…."
"Wonder what?"
"How your kids will react to her. And to us living together. Do you think it will be strange for them?"
"My kids are going to love her. Everyone who meets her does. Little Savannah definitely has her mother's charm. And they like you. I think they will adjust to us living together. And if they have a problem with it then I'll move back to the other apartment. But I really don't think it will be a problem. I mean, it isn't like we are sleeping in the same room or anything. We're friends, roommates. My kids understand that."
Olivia smiled again. "Good. I just don't want to upset them. Maybe you should have talked to them before we did this."
"It will be fine, Liv. Don't worry about them. All you need to worry about is you and that little angel sleeping in the next room. I think everything is going to be just fine. Trust me. This new living arrangement is the beginning of a whole new life for you and for her. And I am going to be here for both of you, always. No matter what."
"Thank you," she said softly. "I know I never tell you this, but I need you. Not just to help me figure out this parenting stuff, but just to have my best friend here with me helps so much. I don't know what I would ever do without you."
"Lucky for you, you'll never have to find out." Elliot winked at her.
Olivia smiled back at him. She yawned and stretched then settled in to watch the movie.
