A/N: not to be confused as an extension to my last foray into this song. They're separate. I just really like the song for Castle and Beckett.
Cheers‼
Beauty In The Breakdown
"I've been hoping and praying for a single way to show you what I'm all about"
"Urgh. How can I have nothing to wear!"
Lanie smirked. "Girl, explain to me just this one last time why exactly you're freaking out? Because, I'm pretty sure you told me this was just a dinner. In fact, I'm certain you told me just today that it meant nothing."
Kate frowned at Lanie's reflection in the mirror. "I'm not freaking out, I just…"
"Nuh-uh, no way. Look who you're talking to. I might spend my day chatting up dead people, but I've known you long enough to know when you're freaking. What was it you said earlier? Oh, that's right: 'it's just a harmless dinner'. Is it because of the sex?"
Kate whirled around. "Lanie! You told me you'd never mention that. Besides, it was, like, one night and it was almost a month ago."
"And you two still haven't spoken about it. You haven't been alone since then." She added accusingly. Kate opened her mouth to retort, but Lanie spoke over her. "I know you've been the only two in the bullpen, and in the elevator, and a myriad of other places, but nothing can happen there. You can't have a decent conversation when others could easily interrupt. You've totally been putting this off."
Kate blew out a frustrated breath, knowing her friend was right. She had done anything and everything to avoid talking to him about their night of passion. He had tried, numerous times, to get her to talk, but every time he mentioned it, she found a way to change the topic.
It had been working so well for her, too.
But then they landed a case that hit a little too close to home for her liking and he had busted her slowly falling to pieces in the shooting range. He had taken her in his arms and held her tight and close until she had cried her eyes dry. When he had offered her dinner, promising to wait until the case was closed to take her out, she had been too emotionally wrecked to refuse. That was five days ago. They had closed the case three days ago, and it had taken him that long to get her to agree on a night for their dinner.
He had held strong, and eventually she got sick of him asking, and agreed simply to shut him up. And now, she was regretting it, no matter how many times he had told her their dinner was his way of trying to cheer her up.
If she was perfectly honest with herself, she would have to say the sex was definitely a better pick-me-up. But, if she admitted it only to herself, then she would have to admit that she was harbouring feelings, other than annoyance and friendship, for him. And that was a whole other can of worms that she didn't want opened. That one night had been more than enough for the time being.
Though, while she was being honest, she may as well admit that it was a damn good night.
"What about this?" asked Lanie, pulling Kate out of her internal war.
She looked over her shoulder at the top Lanie was holding up. It was a simple button down, but she had hidden it in the back of her closet because it was just a bit too small. She had brought it without trying it on because she liked the colour, and the price. But, once she wore it, she realised that it was maybe a little too tight to wear to the precinct and had put it away, completely forgetting about it. "Too small." She muttered, shaking her head and pulling a face.
Lanie cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, for me, maybe. But for you? No way. Wear it with your dark blue jeans, black boots and brown leather jacket. You'll knock his socks off."
Kate rolled her eyes. "I don't want to knock his socks off, I want to get this dinner over and done with."
Lanie continued like she hadn't heard Kate's protest. "Wear the white tank with the decal over the top, like a vest. It'll hide whatever it is you're afraid of showing, while showing just enough to keep him hanging on."
Kate snorted. "Somehow I don't think what I'm wearing will change his mind."
Lanie smirked slowly. "Oh, right. He has seen you naked."
Kate groaned and threw a rolled up pair of socks at her best friend. She should never have told Lanie about their hook up. Lanie tossed the socks back and shoved the shirt, jeans and tank in her friend's hands. "Quit complaining and get in there and get changed. We still gotta do your hair and make-up."
XXX
Forty-five minutes later Beckett stepped out of a cab in the middle of the meatpacking district. Castle had offered to go past her new apartment and pick her up, but she had politely declined, knowing it would feel far too much like a real date. Besides, she needed this time to herself to calm the butterflies that swooped around in her stomach.
She wondered if he was already inside the restaurant, or if she should wait out the front for him. In her rush to avoid the feeling of it being a real, official date, she had completely forgotten to ask. Fishing around in her clutch, she pulled out her phone, just as a car pulled up to the curb and tooted.
"Ah, I see you found the place, detective. Give me a second to park and we'll go in." She rolled her eyes as he pulled away again, his tyres squealing. She wondered if he realised she could fine him for dangerous driving?
Five minutes later he sauntered around the corner, hands resting oh-so-casually in his pockets. He walked up and stopped beside her. "Ready?" he asked, offering out his arm for her to take.
She eyed him suspiciously, but eventually gave in with a muttered "oh, what the hell?" and slipped her hand into the crook of his arm. She was comforted by the fact that he was wearing dark jeans, an untucked shirt with the top few buttons undone, and his black leather jacket. She imagined the jacket cost more than her whole outfit, but when you're on top of the New York Times best sellers list, you could afford all the best things.
"You look nice." He told her, and she smiled softly.
"Thanks. So do you."
He grinned like an idiot, and pulled the door open, his hand falling to the small of her back as he ushered her in. She pretended she didn't notice the tingle that shot up and down her spine at his touch, and that she didn't feel the goose pimples the covered every inch of her skin.
"Ah, Mr. Castle. How are you this evening?"
Castle smiled. "I'm great, Marco. Is my table ready?"
Marco nodded and beckoned for them to follow him. Kate shot Castle a look, as he put pressure on her lower back again, encouraging her to follow the doorman. They wound their way through an assortment of mixed and matched tables and chairs to a booth in the back corner near the kitchen. Marco stood to the side as they each took seats, and placed two menus on the table. "I'll be back soon for your order. Can I get you anything to drink in the meantime?"
"You know what, as this is a casual meal," he nodded to Beckett, "I think I'll go with a beer. Is Sam Adams okay?" he asked, looking back at her.
She nodded. "Yes, that's fine. Make it two." She said, turning to Marco and smiling softly.
With a nod, Marco turned and headed toward a door halfway along the wall. She watched him disappear through it before turning back to face Castle. He grinned at her and picked up his menu, muttering to himself as he read. Kate took the opportunity to look around. To say it wasn't what she had expected was a little bit of an understatement. The way Castle spoke about the places he dined; she had been worrying that she would be underdressed.
"I think I'm gonna go with a burger and fries. Have you decided?"
She shook her head. "I was too busy looking around. How did you find this place?"
Castle winked and pushed her menu closer. "All in good time, Detective. Marco will be back in a second to take our order."
Rolling her eyes and sighing, she opened the little booklet and found that most of the food offered would be served in any number of diner's in the city. In fact, she was almost 100% sure they served all the same thing at Remy's around the corner from the precinct.
"Are you guys ready to order?" Marco asked, placing their beers on the table in front of them.
Castle nodded. "I'll have my usual, thanks." Marco nodded and looked to Kate.
She pondered the list for another few seconds, before deciding. "I'll have a chicken burger with fries. Thanks." She smiled again as she handed her menu over.
Marco turned and headed back into the kitchen, and then it was just Castle and Beckett, sharing the table and sipping their beers. "So, you never told me, how did you find this place?"
Castle placed his bottle on a coaster in front of him. He linked his fingers in front of his face and peered at her, before cracking a smile. "This used to be Alexis favourite restaurant." Beckett raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I think it still is. But with all her AP classes, we don't get to eat out as much. We've been coming here at least once a week since she was nine. Sometimes, on my way home from the precinct, I stop by and grab us dinner. We usually come here for dinner on her birthday."
Beckett nodded slowly, wondering why Castle would think to come here tonight.
"I know what you're thinking, and I figured that this would be the best place to come, to keep it casual. Yes, we could have gone to Remy's, but we know most of the people there and we wouldn't get an opportunity to talk. But here, it feels a little like Remy's, but we only know each other."
"You know the staff." Beckett pointed out.
Castle shrugged. "I know staff at half the restaurants in the city, Kate. You'll be hard pressed to find a place where I don't know at least one person. At least here they know me well enough to let us have our dinner."
She nodded slowly. "So, what did you want to talk about?'
Castle smiled. "Us." He frowned at Kate's raised eyebrow. "Oh, come on. You know exactly what I mean. We've barely spoken in a month, and every time it looks like we're about to discuss what happened that night, and what we want to come of it, we get interrupted. Or someone changes the subject." He adopted a fake accusatory tone to show that while he was being completely serious, he wasn't simply blaming her.
She knew he was right, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to lay it all out there for him and face possible mockery and heartbreak. "This isn't just a casual dinner to you, is it?" she asked and his face gave her the answer. She let out a puff of breath and looked away, to where another waiter was seating another couple. "I knew it." she muttered, her eyes fixed on an empty table across the other side of the room. "That is just so… typical of you." She turned back to him. "Do you always feel the need to weasel your way in, use your money and your contacts to get what you want?"
Castle shrugged, a small smile playing in the corner of his mouth. "I'm not used to losing. And when I see something I want, I do what I can to get it." he reached over and took hold of her hand, resting next to her beer bottle. "Look, Kate, if after tonight you decide you don't want this to go further than that night, then fine, it won't. But if there's some part of you, even the smallest part, that wants to see what can happen, then let it. Let me in. Let me have the chance to show you what we could be like. I'm not going to lie to you, I like you a lot. I think from the moment I met you, I knew that something like this was going to happen. Of course, I thought it would be easier. I never imagined that your tough, cop persona had seeped into your personal life. But maybe that was my ego talking. I've never been challenged like you challenge me."
She shot him a look and tried to free her hand from his.
"I'm not talking about that, well, I am, but not just that. You challenge me daily, just by being you. You're so… controlled. You know what you're doing, every step of the way. You make choices based on what the best possible outcome could be, but you won't do it for yourself. You hide behind walls and hold the world at arm's length. I just want the chance to show you that it doesn't have to be heartbreak. Not all the time. Sometimes, with the right ingredients, the right person, everything can be good."
She let out another breath and simply stared at him. She knew in her heart that he was right. She didn't want to admit it, because she could almost picture the stupid 'I told you so' face and dance that he would do. But, she could feel her resolve crumbling. She could feel some of those walls letting themselves be torn down by his words and the sincerity in his eyes. Of all the men she had ever known, he was the only one that seemed to really know her.
"Fine." She breathed, looking down at their still joint hands, resting in the middle of the table, next to her drink. "Fine." She repeated, her voice stronger from the decision being made in her head. "But we take it slow. No sleepovers for a month, or three more dates, whichever happens first. And I don't want dates like this. I want to dress up. I want to wear a pretty dress. You have to woo me, Richard Castle, like you've never wooed a girl before. You have to show me that you're worth the risk, because if this falls to pieces, I don't know how we'll ever make it back."
Castle nodded and smiled that smile that made her heart race. He wove his fingers through hers and lent back in his seat slightly. "Just to be clear, when I take you home tonight, will I be allowed to give you a goodnight kiss?"
She smirked and took a sip of her beer. "Well, that all depends, Castle. So far tonight you've lied to me and called me a challenge. This had better turn around quickly, or you might not even get a second date."
Castle laughed and kissed her hand. "Oh, I'll get the second date, don't you worry. Just you wait until you've eaten your burger. You'll be begging me to bring you back, just to get to the third date."
Kate laughed.
Beauty In The Breakdown – The Scene Aesthetic
