And we finally go back to Lucy! Sorry it's been over a month since my last update. It's been a bit nuts with LaLu Week and all that. Thanks to all of you for being so fantastic! Love you guys and my super duper amazing beta, Deathsembrace137!

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.

CHAPTER 11: JUST TONIGHT

Two weeks gone...

Lucy woke with a start, her breath catching in her throat as she flung herself up in bed. Pressing a hand against the now familiar ache in her chest, her body finally relaxed, allowing her to draw in huge gulps of air. Her eyes pricked, the traitorous things beginning to fill with tears, but she stubbornly scrubbed her hand over them, refusing to allow them to fall.

She was so tired. Tired of crying, tired of hurting, tired of missing home...tired of loving someone who didn't love her back. She couldn't sleep more than an hour at a time anymore, those dreams breaking through the peaceful rest she needed every time she closed her eyes. She wanted it to be over so badly. She didn't want to feel this way anymore. Did that make her weak?

Shaking her head, she dragged herself from her bed, heading towards the bathroom, when Wendy's voice called to her from across the room, "Lucy? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep," the blonde assured in as steady a voice as she could manage. She didn't want Wendy worrying any more than she already was. This wasn't the young girl's problem. It was Lucy's, and she would be damned if she'd let the blunette bear the burden.

Lucy waited until her little friend settled once again in her bed before continuing the short trip to the bathroom. She went through the motions of relieving herself and washing her hands, and finally splashed some water on her face. The cool liquid was refreshing, washing away the remnants of her tears, and lifting her head, she suddenly found herself in front of the mirror.

The sight was startling to say the least, as was the realization that she hadn't looked at herself once since they'd arrived in this little town. Every thought she'd had, every action she'd taken had been an attempt to survive, to move past what had happened to her, and she had spent very little time worrying over how she looked. What a far cry from the way she'd been before.

She studied the woman in the mirror, her eyes drawn to the dark smudges under her eyes, the half-circles just beginning to form there, and she couldn't help but wonder how much worse they would be in a day, a week. Moving down her face, she found her face had begun to thin, her cheeks slimming down just enough to notice. It was funny how once, she'd cared so much about her looks, and now, she couldn't bring herself to give a damn. Now, all she felt was weary.

Turning from her reflection, she sighed, feeling the pull of tears again. She was so sick of being trapped in this agonizing loop of emotions - love, hate, sorrow, anger, loneliness, bitterness. For the first time in her life, she couldn't decipher her feelings. She was confused, and she hated it.

She'd never been uncertain about how she felt. It had always come easily for her, but this...this constantly battering was too hard to handle. How much more could she take before she broke apart completely? She sniffed lightly as her hand reached for the door knob, determinedly stuffing those fears deep inside herself before she went back out into the room. She couldn't let Wendy or Charle see her like this.

Lucy took a step towards her bed, but then changed her course, instead moving to the small dresser in the far corner. Reaching for the bottom left-hand drawer, she opened it, and checking to make sure her two companions were still asleep, dug under all of the clothes, and pulled out a wrinkled lump of cloth. Turning back, she found her way to her bed and slid under the covers, settling into place before drawing the red fabric to her face.

The blonde took a deep breath, slowing drawing in the scent that lingered within the soft cotton of the shirt. The smell of him hit her like it always did, a mix of sharp pain and deep contentment. She didn't know why she kept doing this, torturing herself with something she couldn't have, but she couldn't seem to stop.

So, she allowed herself this one vice, this small concession to her weakness, but never in front of the others. She had already embarrassed herself enough with her pathetic pining for a man that didn't want her. She wasn't about to make it worse by showing Wendy and Charle how far she'd fallen. Why shame herself even more than she already had?

Lucy rubbed Gajeel's shirt across her cheek, closing her eyes to let herself imagine just for a moment what it would have been like. She pushed his rejection from her mind and simply let herself pretend a place for her in his life, waking up each morning with him, rolling over to snuggle into his chest, breathing in the essence of him, feeling his hand sweep across her back to pull her in closer. And just like that, the tears came again, spilling over onto the shirt she clutched in her hands.

God, she was a fool. What kind of moron would hurt herself this way? Why did she force herself to relive what she would never have over and over again? Gritting her teeth, she pushed her dreams aside, narrowing her thoughts to focus only on her mate's smell. Somehow, in spite of all that had happened, his scent was still able to calm her, and she needed that tonight.

She waited as the tide of emotions ebbed, offering up a silent thanks when her eyes began to feel heavy once again. She'd just rest for a while, and then she'd put his shirt away before anyone could see. Yes, she'd close her eyes for a bit...

Wendy kept still until she heard the telltale sound of Lucy's even breathing, then opened her eyes and slid from her bed. She padded quietly across the room to look down upon the blonde's relaxed features and smiled sadly at the soft snores drifting up from her mouth. The young slayer moved closer, taking in the sight of a bit of red tucked up near the sleeping woman's face, realizing instantly as the scent hit her nose, just who it belonged to.

She hadn't even known that Lucy had something of Gajeel's, and the thought that Lucy had hidden it away like some dirty secret saddened her. She couldn't understand why the blonde was so hard on herself, why she tried so hard not to let anyone know what she was going through. Looking down at the older woman, Wendy could see the toll it was all taking on her.

The blonde's face was tracked with dried tears, the shirt she was gripping dotted with wet spots, and the blunette covered her mouth with her hand to smother the cry that begged to come out. It was all so heartbreaking to her, the way Lucy fought so hard to handle her pain on her own, to carry it all on her shoulders as if she were some kind of burden to the rest of them. She allowed none of them to help her, not even when it was clear that she was struggling.

Seeing movement to her left, she turned to see Charle flying towards her, and she opened her arms to the stern Exceed, needing the comfort of her closest companion. The white cat snuggled into Wendy's embrace, giving her just what she needed until the small girl was ready to release her. After a few moments, the blue-haired girl set Charle down on Lucy's bed, and drew herself up, brushing quick hands across her cheeks to remove the evidence of her silent tears.

Stepping up right next to the bed, she raised her arms over the blonde's still form, and closed her eyes. Her brow furrowed in concentration as she pulsed her power into the Celestial mage's body just as she had taken to doing each night after Lucy had fallen asleep. It had been a hard decision for the slayer to make, going around Lucy's wishes like this, but she refused to watch her wither away when there was something she could do to help her.

Wendy just wasn't able to let her friend suffer like that, and after much debate, had chosen to disregard Lucy's desires in favor of easing her pain. She knew the blonde wouldn't appreciate having her decisions disrespected, but Wendy sincerely hoped that Lucy would understand and forgive her if ever she found out. Still, the young girl had always done what she felt was right, and helping Lucy in spite of herself was the right thing to do.

She watched as the last bit of tension faded from Lucy's brow, and eased back, cutting the flow of magic and dropping her hands to her sides. She'd done all she could, but at this point, she knew all she was doing was prolonging the inevitable. She couldn't halt the deterioration that crept through the blonde's body, eating its way through the reserves of her energy.

Every day, Wendy watched her friend get worse, her movements just a tad slower than the day before, and it cut the blunette to the quick. She knew that, wherever Gajeel was, he was losing himself too, his mind fraying as the days marched on, pushing him into a nearly feral state. It wouldn't be long, and it broke her heart. How she wished things had been different.

If only he had accepted Lucy, taken her as his mate like he'd been raised to do. She's wasn't naïve enough to believe that things would have been perfect between them - there were too many problems to sort through for that, but Wendy knew as surely as she knew her name, that they could have grown into what they were meant to be. If only they had stayed together.

Though, to be fair, Wendy couldn't really fault Lucy for fleeing Magnolia. The way she'd been treated, not just by Gajeel, but also the others, would have been hard to swallow. It would have been just about impossible to deal with for the rest of her life, having to face the people who claimed to love her, the same ones who had also condemned her without a second thought. It was no wonder she'd pulled up roots and abandoned the place she'd called home.

Shaking her head, she moved back to her own bed, and had just lifted her leg to climb back in, when a bright light flashed in the bathroom, signaling Loke's arrival. It wasn't surprising to see him there so late at night. The only time the three of them could really talk about what was going on with Lucy and back at home, was when the blonde was asleep. Every day that passed though, the amount of rest Lucy's body required increased, leaving them with plenty of time to secretly meet.

The door to the bathroom opened, and the orange-haired man glanced over to his master before heading to the far side of the room where Wendy sat on her bed. "Hey, how's she doing tonight?" he asked softly, dropping soundlessly onto the bed in front of the tiny Dragon Slayer.

"Not good. She's already woken up once," Wendy answered, pausing for a moment before asking, "Did you know she sleeps with his shirt sometimes?"

The Lion Spirit's shoulders slumped, almost like a puppet with its strings cut, and he nodded. "I came through my gate a couple of nights ago and found her with it. I couldn't decide if it broke my heart or pissed me off."

"I don't think it has to be either or, Loke," Charle offered, looking back towards the woman sleeping soundly across the room. "I certainly feel both."

The man sighed deeply before he agreed with a nod of his head. He held up his hand, and a light flashed over his open palm before fading away, leaving a small sack in his palm. "Here," he whispered, handing it over to the small girl.

"More from Gray?" Wendy asked, her eyebrows raising in surprise, "He's going through them rather quickly, isn't he?"

Loke chuckled, not the least bit stunned by the man's fast pace. "Yeah, but that's Gray for you. He's pushing himself to do as much as he can for Lucy so she won't have to work so hard. He's a good friend."

"Yes, he really is," the small girl acknowledged softly, her voice tinged with gratitude. She was so glad to have someone else on their side, another person to help out, and she couldn't have asked for someone more devoted than Gray. Natsu of course would be just the same, but she hadn't been shocked when she'd learned that Loke had reached out to the ice mage. After all, she'd heard how close the two of them had been during Loke's time in Earthland. Even now, as Lucy's Spirit, they still spent a great amount of time together.

"How's it going, keeping her in the dark about Gray's involvement?" the Lion Spirit asked.

Charle and Wendy shared a look before the Exceed answered, "Well, so far she's letting us choose the requests, which means she doesn't really know what the reward will be."

"Plus, as much as I hate to say it, she's too tired to really keep track of how much we're supposed to receive," the blue-haired girl added. Though it made using Gray's money easier, she hated that it came at the cost of Lucy doing so poorly. She found herself once again wishing things were different, but that wasn't anything unusual. The thought seemed to cross her mind more times in a day than she could even count.

Feeling something touch her, Wendy looked down to find the friendly weight of Loke's hand on her own, and she smiled up at him tiredly as he said, "Thank you for coming with her, both of you."

"We would never leave her to face this alone," Charle responded haughtily, crossing her arms over her tiny chest in the first show of her normal behavior since they'd left Fairy Tail.

Wendy couldn't help but giggle at the cat's action. She hadn't seen her like that in so long, and strange as it may seem, she had missed it. It felt wonderful in the midst of all this mess, to finally see something familiar, even if it was only her Exceed's rather snooty attitude. It wasn't even that, she supposed; it was simply that it reminded her of home.

As quickly as it started, her laughter ceased, replaced with a wave of homesickness. She missed her place in Fairy Hills, all her things, Master Makarov, and Fairy Tail. Though it made her feel like a traitor to Lucy, she couldn't deny that she missed everyone in the guild, in spite of their horrible behavior. She shook her head silently, raising a hand to rub her eyes, hoping it had gone unnoticed.

Sadly, she discovered it hadn't. Before she could utter a single word, Charle had climbed into her lap to hug her, and Loke's hand was squeezing hers. "I'm fine," she mumbled, turning her head away in embarrassment.

"You've been spending too much time around Lucy," Loke mused lightly, jokingly poking at her attempt to push aside their concern.

His words brought a small laugh from her mouth, her expression brightening just a bit as she grudgingly agreed, "You may have a point there."