AN: Ok, I am only a couple of days late. This chapter was really hard for me and it is definitely different! This isn't going to be anybody's favorite chapter, but it needed to be done.

I can say that this is probably the last chapter that sets up the background for Jasper's story, as his story is really just beginning. The next chapters will be easier, which means that I will HOPEFULLY get them out faster.

I want to thank everyone so much for all of your support, it means the world to me.

QueenBeta Cullen818 has skills…check out her stories and see for yourself.

I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters.

"Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you." - Marsha Norman

Chapter 11 – Wizard of Odd

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Just look at it."

"NO! Back, the fuck, off! If I wanted your advice I would ask for it." I growl in frustration, wanting to bang my head on the table, again and again. There is only one person that I know of that can inspire this much anger in me with so little effort.

Rosalie sits across the table, undeterred by my little tantrum. She glares at me, and pushes the booklet back on my side of the table.

Why the fuck did I agree to go out for coffee with her?

Probably because James and Carrie just had a huge fight, and I couldn't stand the screaming and yelling…not from the fight, but from the make-up sex. Ick. When I got the text from Rosalie I jumped at the excuse, even though I really didn't understand why I needed one.

We stare at each other, both of us too stubborn, and unwilling to relent. We had stare-off's as children and I very, very seldom won. As a matter of fact, I can probably count my victories on one hand, but we are older now, and I feel the odds are now in my favor.

After a few minutes, which pass by like freaking hours, I surrender yet again. How can I compete with an ice queen? If any person has less emotion than me, it is Rosalie. We are the products of a family torn apart by one tragic and traumatic event. It is hard to "feel" after you've been through as much as I have.

I grab the course selection book from The Eastern Michigan University, and put it on the seat next to me. "I might look at it when I get home." I say, sniffing like a petulant child, which happens to be another redeeming quality that Rosalie seems to stir in me. Infantile behavior. I know exactly when I start to act like a brat around her, but I can't seem to abandon the unseemly conduct, and it aggravates me to no end. I feel like she is winning and I have to remind myself constantly that this is not a game and that we are both mature adults.

It doesn't stop me from wanting to stick my tongue out at her though. To stop myself I bite down hard on my tongue.

Rosalie rolls her eyes at my suggestion, knowing full well that I just plan on throwing it away at the first possible opportunity. "C'mon, Jazz, I want to look at it together. I can help you pick some classes. I know a lot of the teachers…the good, the bad and the ugly. I can help you make sure that you don't end up in any of the bad ones…or the ugly ones." She adds with a smirk.

Rosalie has been attending EMU for the last two years. It is close and I know that it would be a good place to start, if that is what I wanted. If I find it to my liking I could always transfer to a bigger school like Michigan State later. God, I am not even sure why I am even thinking about this. I really don't want to go back to school, and I have no intention of doing so, but Rosalie puts these goddamn ideas in my head.

I just can't understand why Rosalie is so interested in my life all of a sudden. Why does she feel she has been appointed as my rescuer? I wouldn't mind hanging out with Rosalie once in a while, if she wasn't always riding my fucking ass about everything I do. I realize that my life wouldn't work for most people, but I deal with it pretty well.

"Rose, why can't you just be satisfied that I am happy?"

"Well, I would be satisfied if you were, but you're not. I know you don't think I know you Jazz, but I do. You want more, I can see it. Why won't you even consider school? Is it James?" Her cheeks turn red and her eyes flash with anger. "That motherfucker is holding you back, Jazz. Why can't you fucking see what is right in front of your face?" Immediately she holds out her hands to stop me from giving her a well deserved piece of my mind.

"Jazz, I know he cares for you in his own fucked up way. I know that he was there for you when you felt like you had no one." She concedes.

"He WAS the only one." I correct her.

She huffs. "Maybe. But it doesn't mean you need to sacrifice the rest of your life for him."

"I. Am. Not. I am living MY life the way that I want to."

She opens her mouth to speak. "Subject fucking closed Rosalie." She shuts her mouth with an audible snap.

I won that battle; however, I didn't feel confident about the war.

Rosalie would have been happy to know that I spent the ride home in contemplation.

Hypothetically speaking, I know if I started school what that would mean for me, because I won't do it halfway…it is all or nothing. It means giving up my current lifestyle.

I won't leave James…at least, not immediately, but I can't be pulled into any of his latest antics; at least anything of the illegal or immoral nature. I briefly wonder if James can be led to a different kind of high, preferably ones that won't land us in jail or in need of his dad's extensive contacts to keep us from landing there.

There are pursuits like skydiving, bungee jumping, or mountain climbing. Good, honest, exhilarating, death defying fun. Could I convince James that he didn't have to cause trouble to find life exciting and worth living? It seems an impossible task.

The decision to go back to school would also mean that I'd have to tell my clients that I am retiring from the business…including Bella.

Bella would be happy that I was going to get my life together. I have a feeling that she would want that for me. Even if that meant that she would have to find her entertainment elsewhere.

The thought of Bella going to someone else makes my stomach clench. Thinking about her sweet little body underneath some other gigolo, or…fuck, James for that matter, makes my blood boil. The visual of her putting her soft little hand on James bare chest, while he leans down to kiss her pouty bottom lip…because James lets his fucking clients kiss him…feels like my chest is in a vice. I can't breathe.

It isn't unlike James to come home and tell me all about his conquests, especially the good ones, so I know if he were to ever be graced with Bella's company I would have to hear every fucking detail about their encounter.

I know I am worrying myself in that regard for nothing. If I tell James to steer clear from her, there is no doubt in my mind that he will. I also know in my heart that when I stop seeing Bella she will not be searching for another of my kind. I am an anomaly to her, something that would have never happened to her if we both hadn't been in exactly that place, at exactly that time. I am positive that if our paths had crossed anytime before or after that moment we would have the type of arrangement we have now.

I pull into our driveway and slam my fists onto the steering wheel. This is so frustrating. Why can't I make a goddamn decision about my life? Rosalie is right, I am not completely happy. I haven't been for some time. I am antsy and I need a change, but I just don't know how to go about it. It is just too overwhelming. There are so many things to change; I don't know where to start.

My life is such a clusterfuck of meaningless dalliances, fragile friendships, bad decisions, and pointless endeavors. The only things worthwhile that exist in my life is a strong camaraderie with a fuck up, a sister that tries to push me around, and a girl that pays me to fuck her thoroughly once a week. If that wasn't so fucking sad, it would be hilarious.

When I get in the house I see James is in front of the TV playing Halo. He pauses the game when he hears me set my keys down.

"Hey, man. Where'd you go?" He looks sheepish, like he knows exactly why I left. I don't see the whore around so my mood peaks.

"I met Rosalie for coffee." I answer, shrugging. He eyes the booklet that I set down next to my keys.

"What is she trying to sign you up for now? Cult, maybe? Church?" He laughs, finding that very funny.

I used to believe in God. I think I still do, but after he took my four year old sister from my family…from me, I'm just not sure I want anything to do with Him anymore.

"No, she wants me to sign up for some classes at EMU." I look at the paused TV rather than look at James.

"Why would she want you to do that?" He questions.

"I don't know James, maybe to better myself." I say sarcastically.

He snorts as he trots passed me to go into the kitchen with his empty glass. He stops in front of me, and turns on his own sarcasm. "Now, how could you possibly get any better? I thought you were already perfect." He flicks at one of the curls hanging across my forehead, and walks off toward the kitchen snickering.

He refills his glass with Pepsi and sits back in front of the TV. "You playin'?"

"No, I'll just watch." We sit in comfortable silence as he maneuveres his way through the screens. I pretend to watch, but my thoughts and eyes keep flickering to the cursed course selection booklet that Rosalie bestowed upon me.

Why haven't I thrown that away yet?

"James? Why don't we take a few classes for the fun of it?" Where did that come from?

He pauses the game again, and stares at me like I asked him to murder someone for me…no, actually, he would have been more receptive to that idea than he would be to going back to school.

Why was he so against this?

"For the fun of it? Seriously? Jazz…we already did the school thing… remember? We were bored out of our minds. We did anything to find trouble because we were both ready to pull our hair out. We didn't like school…or am I mistaken?" He looks at me questioningly. "Did I misinterpret your actions Jazz? Was all the drugs you took, and the classes that you skipped, and flunked out of, because school was so fucking interesting and exciting?"

His expression changes to one of forced patience, and he sighs. "Look Jazz, I just don't think it is necessary…you are already smart. You're one of the smartest people I know. You have enough money to be, and have, whatever you want. Why waste time in school when you already have the world at your fingertips?" He turns back on the game, effectively ending the conversation.

Maybe he's right. I hated school. I not only participated in the extra-curricular activities that James mentioned, but I instigated some of them…just so we could get through the tedium of classes.

He is right. I take one last wistful look at the brochure lying beside my keys before I turn back to James. I slide off of the sofa, and land on the floor next to him. "Scoot over butt wipe, I am sick of watching you suck at this game. Let me teach you how to play, little boy."

James smiles wickedly at me as he hands me the other controller. As I give him his lesson I can't help but notice that his eyes fall on me quite often.

I wish I had an answer to his silent question, but I don't know it. What the hell is wrong with me?

XXXXX

I wake up the next morning with sweat pouring down my body, wondering somehow if I made it back to Kansas. I laughed out loud. Yeah, Kansas. What a crazy ass dream.

My dream had been a giant twister, consisting of everyone currently making an impact in my life. They had all played their parts.

The bizarre dream started out with Claire and I sitting on the couch in our old house. I was at my current age and Claire was still four. She was tucked in the crook of my arm and we were watching the Wizard of Oz, dozing off into a comfortable sleep. My mom came in the room and covered us in a warm afghan that my grandma Hale had made for me when I was born.

My dad came to stand next to my mom, and they hovered over us with smiles on their faces, as they told us how much they loved us. Then, suddenly their smiles had turned to frowns, as lines of worry were etched in their brows. They kept repeating for us to be careful, and to please return Claire to them as soon as possible. I had no idea what they were talking about. Just when I was about to question them a strong wind tore through the house.

I couldn't see anything as Claire and I were lifted by the couch and spun repeatedly, caught in a whirlwind. We held each other tightly as the storm played out around us. Finally, the storm subsided and with eyes shut, I thought I was finally waking up. I laid there for a moment before I opened my eyes, trying to find the hidden meaning behind what had just happened, but when I opened my eyes Claire was still with me, sleeping soundly. Seeing that the dream had apparently continued I took in the setting.

We were still on the couch, but our surroundings were completely different. We were no longer in my childhood home but, it looked like we had landed in a field of poppies, daisies and other various wildflowers. If it wasn't weird enough the whole atmosphere was just…different. It was too bright, everything had too much color. Almost as though we were living in a cartoon.

What the fuck?

"Jazzy" Claire admonished, with her hand covering her mouth. Oh, I had said that out loud. Claire awoke next to me and stared in awe at the place we had momentarily inhabited.

Through the fields I could see little heads pop up with eyes as wide as saucers. Unconsciously, I had moved closer to Claire, ready to protect her if necessary. Claire had noticed and hardly looked worried.

"Sorry, seed." I beseeched. She smiled contentedly and clutched my hand.

"Let's go Jazzy." She pointed to the side. I looked beyond her to where she was pointing, there had been a road made of pure gold.

Well, fuck me, I was in Oz.

I had decided to play along, instead of forcing myself awake, because I wanted to spend some happy time with Claire. Claire had only, previously, made an appearance in my nightmares and I relished the thought of being able to smile and laugh with her, if for just a little while.

Claire, had played Toto in this rendition of the Wizard of Oz, I held onto her the whole dream. She continued to stand beside me, skipping sometimes, there was such joy and happiness bubbling from her as we made our way together down the yellow brick road, trying to find the wizard so we could get back home to Mom and Dad. I don't remember the last time I felt that happy and content. Claire's little hand in mine gave me peace. Something that was scarce in my life now.

First, we ran into Jessica. How fitting for Jessica to be the scarecrow. She trailed along with us, hoping to get the brain she so desired, and as far as I was concerned, so needed. She had been mainly silent. She just hung in there, following us without question. She was not prominent…just there. Most of my dream she was never visible, but I just had the feeling that she was there.

Second, and unexpectedly, we met up with Leah. Leah was the lion looking for courage. Courage for what I had no idea. I didn't ask, and she didn't tell. I kept our relationship the same, not answering or asking questions that were too personal. She was unusually quiet as she walked next to me, faltering a step back every once in a while. I noticed, as per usual, that her eyes hardly ever strayed from me.

I really, really did not want to know what she needed the courage for.

Third, we bumped into Rosalie. Surprise, surprise…a Tin man if I ever saw one. She strode in front of me, and turned around, so she could walk backward, as she continually ranted and berated me about every aspect of my life.

I could see that Leah wanted to stand up for me but, well, she didn't have the courage. I started walking faster now that Rosalie had joined us, anxious to get to the fucking conclusion. Ready to end this dream before Rosalie turned it into a nightmare.

My sweet Bella came next, she was the good witch. What a sight for sore eyes, she had been. A smile came across my face when she focused her attention on me. Everyone was silent as she gave me our instructions, all of them utterly entranced by her beauty and grace. I insisted on her to stay with us, but she couldn't. She had looked like she wanted to, and I held onto a morsel of hope, as my urging turned to begging, that I could get her to change her mind, but she declined with a sad look on her beautiful face. The look had never left her face as she turned to mist, and disappeared, leaving me with the motley crew.

Bella had sent us on our way to Oz, but warned us about the wicked witch. A red-haired witch.

Well I wonder who that could be?

It was no surprise as Victoria descended upon us minutes later. Cackling about how I would never escape her. She had a key around her neck that sparkled against her oversized chest. I didn't know why, but Claire wanted that key. I asked her for it, but the price was too high.

The only thing Victoria would accept as payment was me. Claire was pretty devastated that she couldn't have that key, but Rosalie stepped up to Victoria threateningly, and told her to get lost. Victoria had retreated saying that I wouldn't stay away for long, and that I would need her. We all scoffed in unison as we watched her climb on her broom and fly off to her nest.

We continued on our way, and everyone was getting tired of the bright colors and the overall cheerfulness. It had seemed like hours when the dream, in actuality, probably had lasted no more than ten minutes.

Eventually we saw the castle for which we would find the answers to all of our problems. I had watched the Wizard of Oz close to fifty times. I knew how the story went, but in this version I knew that the wizard would provide us with solutions to all of our issues.

We entered the castle. Everyone wanting their individual requests granted, but overall we were all just ready to go home. I started to worry slightly, because the inside of the castle looked frighteningly like the movie, and I was absolutely certain that the outcome would be different.

When we all stared into the big eye, requesting resolutions to each of our plights we were met with complete stillness. I knew where to find the little fucking closet, where that little fucker would be hiding. I pulled open the curtain, and was stunned to see James.

James was the one that was supposed to have all the answers…and he had none…for anybody. We all stood in front of him, quiet, waiting for all his words of wisdom, but he slouched in miserable silence. His face had fallen, and he looked properly disgraced. I turned from James and looked at everyone's questioning faces. We were all asking the same question to ourselves. What now?

Shit! As far as I was fucking aware, Victoria did not have on red glittery shoes, so I had wondered how the hell I was supposed to get everyone home. We all had walked dejectedly out of the castle wondering what the fuck we were supposed to do now. Sit around and wait for some goddamn clue?

It didn't take Victoria much time to find us again. She swooped down amongst us. When she settled she smiled victoriously at me, licking her lips, while she perused my body with sickening sanguinity. She had asked if I was ready to give myself to her. Leah had whimpered behind me. Claire started crying and pointing toward the key.

The key. The shiny object was still hanging around her neck.

It was the way home.

I had asked Victoria for the key nicely, but she laughed like the demon that she was. James lunged at her, trying to wrest the priceless treasure from her, but she had too many powers and threw him aside easily. Rosalie was next. She attacked her, but only managed to be chucked into the nearest tree. Claire took a step forward, and I stopped her. I would never let Victoria lay a hand on my precious, innocent sister. I stepped forward determined to get that key any way from her any way that I could.

The key represented our freedom. I found that I would do anything to get Claire and the others back, even if that meant giving into her demands.

I sauntered up to Victoria, planting the sideways smirk on my face that I knew she adored. She asked if I was ready to make her mine. I grasped the back of her neck with my hand and pulled her flush with my body, 'cause I knew that this disgusting whore liked it rough, and I whispered into her ear, "not a chance in fucking hell, you evil bitch." I was pissed that I had to deal with this wench anymore than seeing her in reality. I reached between our bodies and yanked the key from her neck. Without the key, her face became a mask of pain as she melted into a puddle at our feet.

Not even giving Victoria a second glance, I had made sure James and Rosalie were okay, nothing but hurt pride they had said. Little voices came from the fields around us singing "the wicked witch is dead". Their voices faded quickly when I started to feel the wind that was there to take us home. We all joined hands, but something was missing. Where was Bella? I had called for her, louder and strained as the thunderous wind came barreling down upon us.

Bella had appeared just before we had been whisked away, and I pleaded for her to come with us, but she had refused.

"You won't be able to do this if I am with you." She had said with her eyes and voice full of tears. Her words had cut like a knife. The pain was intense as the wind had carried me further and further away, until I could no longer see her exquisiteness.

I have tried all damn day to decode that dream, knowing that there is some deeper meaning. I consider myself a pretty intelligent guy, but I am falling short on the definition …if there is even supposed to be a meaning.

I wait for the brunette that drives the Mercedes, to pick me up from the post, agitated as all fucking get out. It feels like there is something that I have to do, and I have no clue what it is.

The brunette pulls up and I jump into the passenger seat ready to work out my aggression on our session, needing some relief. She smiles and winks at me as she shoves a wad of hundred dollar bills at me. I look at the money, and for some reason my hand has a mind of its own, dropping the cash on the middle console.

"I am sorry, but I just hung around to tell you that I am quitting. I am going back to school." She looks shocked, but resigned. We say our final goodbyes, and I exit her vehicle.

I walk away, steady and fucking sure.

Bella had been correct in the dream. I won't be able to do this with her.

Letting go will be hard, but I have to do this for myself, if I ever hope to find someone like her again someday.

The next time I do, I swear to fucking God, I will never, ever let her go.

AN: Ok, so everyone has strange dreams! (I should know, this story is based on one.) Jasper has been so "deep" lately that I just wanted his final revelation on this topic to be lighthearted. Besides "the key" did you think Jasper had any other revelations during that dream? Did you understand what "the key" signified? I will answer in a review as well as give you a heads up to what is going on next chapter. It is going to be good. No more dreams…all reality…I promise!

Thanks for putting up with my weirdness. I seriously love you guys!

So, pause American Idol and send me some love, I missed you guys last week.