RPOV
I had left him. Thinking that it would be for the best and that it wouldn't hurt me. But the moment the front door closed the only thing I felt regret. This wonderful man had given me a chance, an option for something I never thought I would have. And the only thing I could do is run.

Almost a month had passed since that night and the only thing I felt was empty. I didn't felt like I was living anymore. I guess that this was what they called a broken heart. It was something I hadn't felt my whole life. And I didn't like it.

In the time I had Dimitri as my client I had changed more than I could possibly think off. In the beginning I had three other clients and Dimitri had been my fourth. During that time I enjoyed spending time with Dimitri more and more and slowly I let my other clients go. Keeping only the Russian God.

But after I had left the statement that told him that our contract was over I knew I had to do something. And thinking that taking a new client would be the best thing. But after spending one night at this man's house the only thing I felt was dirty. And the feeling that I cheated on Dimitri.

It was that moment that I had showed up at Stan's house. I was almost crying when I stood there and he took me inside of his house. As much as I hated him sometimes he was always there when I needed him. And he listened to me.

After I was done talking he didn't speak about a single thing I told him. Not about the way Dimitri had treated me and what had happened in Dimitri's apartment. He just told me that I was fired as a pleasure girl and he even told me to chase Dimitri.

But that last thing he told me was something I couldn't do. In my head I played his reaction over and over again if I showed up at his doorstep and it was holding me from chasing him until he would take me back.

I had never been in love. Never felt any feelings then friendship towards another person. But these feelings that were boiling inside of me was something I couldn't even explain. I didn't know how to describe them and they confused me to no end.

After that talk with Stan I decided to change my life. For good this time. I went home to the small apartment. But the only thing I felt was Dimitri's large presence in it when he looked around disapprovingly. I had been proud at it once but now I only wanted to work harder so I could move out and somehow make Dimitri proud.

Because in my head the only thing I could think of was him and what he would say to me. What he would think about the steps I was taking. And I felt myself longing to me but I created a small version inside of my head that sounded like him. With taking steps and changing my life I could hear him talk to me. Telling me what to do.

It wasn't healthy and I was somewhere afraid that I would finally become crazy. I was afraid that I would reach towards the alcohol or the drugs that had controlled my life for so long in my life. I was afraid of everything I was now that I didn't have him in my life. But it was my own fault that it had ended.

It didn't stop me from hoping, wishing, praying, that he would chase me. That he would show up at my door and act like a caveman. Taking me back to his house and show me that I couldn't leave him. That I couldn't life without him. But that thought scared me to life and it would haunt me in my dreams.

I spend even more hours at the dance studio and when I wasn't teaching I would dance myself. Spending time until the owner told me to go home. I could see the worry in their eyes but I waved them off when they asked me what happened.

Next to feeling Dimitri in my own apartment I could feel the part of my life I didn't want to feel anymore. It was like the apartment belonged to Delilah instead of Rose. So I packed all the clothes that reminded me of her in bags and gave them to the girls who lived two floors higher than me.

I even went so far that I am not following some classes at a community college. I want to help people to overcome what I have been through. These classes are at night so I can still work and do this at the same time.

The thing about it that is the most painful is that every time I have to go to college I need to take the bus. But on the route of that bus is the stop where I needed to get out when I went to see Dimitri. My heart starts beating faster every time we come near that and breaks when we pass it.

After three weeks of feeling sorry for myself and not speaking to others, Lissa showed up at my door. She looked around in my apartment but kept her mouth shut about it. Lissa was like a princess and she was always treated that way. So seeing the girl in my apartment looked a little off.

She told me that she came to pull me together. She had helped me before and I had helped her before. I would call her my best friend and knew that she called me the same. And with having no family she was the only family I had.

It had been years ago when I had met her and we had liked each other from the very beginning. We had met in rehab. And that was the weirdest thing because someone like Lissa didn't belonged there but she proved me that she needed it.

She had been in an accident and after that she would receive painkillers. She got addicted to those painkillers and after a while her parents had sent her away to rehab. Telling her that they couldn't see her acting like that any longer. Lissa was still mad at them for doing that. Even when she knew it was for the best.

In rehab we would have group therapy once a day and both Lissa and I refused to tell the other why we were in that place. So after making fun of the therapist I was sent away. Only to find Lissa coming after her. They had laughed together and talked.

First they hadn't talked about why they were there and everything. But they gained each other trusts and one night they spent a whole night crying and telling what happened. She found out that there was so much more behind this princess like girl. And I found out that even when Lissa found out what I had done she didn't judged me.

She had hugged me! Something that had set me on nerves the first couple of times. But it took only two weeks before I started to hug her back. And with each other help we walked through the path of getting clean much faster.

One night we were allowed to go into the wide world and we ended up at a concert of the Plain White T's. We had laughed, danced and screamed with every song. And that night we realized we didn't need the sedatives. And it was that night that would help me to the name Delilah.

But Lissa came to my apartment and demanded answers. She had seen me acting around with Dimitri and after that night she hadn't heard a single word from me, even when I had promised to call her the following day. And Dimitri walked around like a zombie.

He didn't care about anything anymore and screamed at people for no reason. It had made her heart ache only more and finally she told Lissa what actually had happened. Lissa encouraged her to go to Dimitri and make everything right.

But after almost a week since Lissa's visit she hadn't found the courage to show up at his doorstep. It scared her to death that he could send her away without thinking twice. But is also scared her to death that he would forgive her and that they ended up in a relationship.

She had never been in a relationship and had never needed to be faithful to one person. How could she give Dimitri what he deserved? Because he surely deserved more than her. And she knew one thing, that she didn't deserve him.

He deserved someone who wasn't broken. Someone who hadn't slept with so many man that she lost count. How could she be faithful and right to him when she never learnt the right way? How could she love him and care about him when she had never received love in her entire life.

And mostly how could she be able to promise him that he would be enough. And how could she be enough for him. Because she knew that he wanted to marry the girl he loved. And that he would want to have children and be a happy family.

She didn't know how to be a wife. She didn't know how to be a mother. The only thing she knew was the way her own mother had been. And that was something she didn't even want to think about. Because once her mother had been the most important person in her life. But what her mother had done to her was something she could never forget or forgive.

DPOV
A month since she had walked out of the apartment and broke my heart. My whole life felt empty. My whole being felt empty. The apartment was too big and everything reminded me of her. The way she would sit on the kitchen counter and eat all the food.

The way she would lie on the couch with her legs over the back of the couch. Her eyes fixed on the television and a smile on her face. The way she always wanted to watch that series of her and inspect my DVD case to find even more things she wanted to watch.

But the thing that hurt me the most was the bedroom. I could still remember the night that I had told her that I loved her. I poured all my love for her in the way that I made love to her but it wasn't enough. And I knew it when she had kissed me and hid her emotions for me.

I didn't care in that moment and I was ready to let my heart get broken. The sheets had still smelled to her and it had hurt me when I finally needed to wash them. It was like erasing the last thing of her that was still present in my apartment.

There had been so many nights when I had stood there in front of her building. And I wanted to go in. I wanted to storm right in there and throw her over my shoulder to take her home. But I didn't had the right to do that. She wasn't mine and she would never be mine.

I had received a call from the Pleasure Service asking me if I wanted another girl. And somehow I had ended up saying yes. The girl was pretty and tall. But she wasn't Rose. And after having sex with her I send her away and I called them to say that I didn't want another girl anymore.

Someday I would have to move on with my life and give someone a chance. But I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to push her out of my mind and look around for another woman. Because everything reminded me of her.

Just the other night I had chased a girl in a busy street because I thought it had been her. It had taken me three blocks before I found out that it was someone else. And it had taken me half an hour to get up again and to go home.

Lissa and Ivan looked at me like I was started to become crazy. And maybe I was. I had yelled at more than one employee with no reason at all. Had fired at least three people but it didn't helped me at all. Everyone was walking around me on their tiptoes.

In the end it had been Lissa who had been right. I hadn't been happy because I got laid, like Ivan said. I had been happy because I had a woman in my life. But sadly I couldn't make her stay.

I didn't care about the work she did and that she had slept with so many man. I didn't care that she was an addict. I didn't care about the broken girl she was hiding every day. The only thing that I cared about was who she was today. And she is one of the greatest people I had ever met.

I had liked the woman who had walked into my apartment that first night. Looking pretty and so hot. But I had fallen in love with the woman with all her flawlessness and mistakes. I had fallen in love because of her sarcasm and her beautiful laugh.

It had been a week since Lissa had walked into my office and told me that she had visited Rose the night before. I had shoved all my work apart and was listening to Lissa to find all the unspoken words that she wasn't saying.

She had told me that she had stopped working as a pleasure girl and I could only feel relieve. I didn't care that she slept with all those man. But I wanted to have her for myself now. Even when I didn't even had her. I didn't care about not being her first. I wanted to be her last.

The thing that made me the proudest was that she had started college. I can only hope that she will finish it and make something real of her life. Something where she can be proud of herself. After hearing that it made keeping myself away from her even harder. I wanted to tell her how proud I was. How much I believed in her.

But at the end of that conversation Lissa asked me to stay away from Rose. And I sat there for a moment with my jaw on the floor looking at her. I couldn't believe she was telling me all those things and then expect me to keep my distance.

Her request was because she thought that when I showed up at her doorstep she would throw away all her good work. And Lissa was afraid that she would start drinking again. It was that that kept me away from her apartment for good.

I couldn't mess up her life. I loved her so much that I knew that the only thing I could do was keep myself away from her. If she didn't want me than I shouldn't push her. And if she did want me she knew where to find me. And if she would show up I would take her in without thinking twice.

I know that this is more a filler chapter and doesn't is that interesting. But it was necessary and I didn't want to spend two or three chapter on things when I could do it like this.
But in the next chapter something is happening! And if you don't want to wait a whole week, that is possible. If you give me 20 (or more) reviews I am going to post the next chapter on Tuesday night.