Chapter 11: Exams

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I just created Gen and some of her roommates so that she can have this excellent and juicy tale! Please don't use her without asking, I'm rather attached to her. Though the likelihood of you using her is extremely low.

Note: More to come! This one is what you've been waiting for!

Exams were days away and Gen was nearly living in the library. If it wasn't for her classes and Madam Pince's rules against eating and sleeping in there, she would have never left. She sat in the same seat every time in the farthest corner of the library she could find. She had gone hours without speaking or even seeing her friends. At Salem, Gen had been efficient in her studying but never to this degree of intensity. She attributed a lot of it to the reviews she had received of Hogwarts exams. Some had said they were average and expected, and other said that their exams got worse and worse every year. Seeing as she had missed the entire first semester there and two months worth of classes in general, neither of those outlooks were promising.

The Monday before exams she sat in the library, staring up at the ceiling trying to rest her eyes. She was twirling her quill through her fingers, her hair hanging over the back of her chair. Her classes had ended for the day, but this was Gen's third time to the library already and her hand and eyes were feeling the exhaustion.

She had gotten nowhere in figuring out what Remus had been hiding from her, even though the strange comments from their friends continued. He said he didn't understand when Gen asked what they were about, and she had gotten to the point where she stopped asking.

Her eyes followed the molding of the ceiling, and smiled some at the rays of light slanting through the high book cases. She watched as books floated up to their respectable places and as the ladders rolled along their invisible tracks for the people on the floor below.

"You should be studying, young lady," he said from her left somewhere. She smiled wider, and he came into her line of sight. He put his hands on her arms of her chair and leaned his weight on to them so that his face was much closer to hers. He gave her a kiss on the forehead, safe from Madam Pince's stern eyes.

"I was," she replied, mock whining. He laughed, using one hand to run through her hair. She closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying his attention. Unfortunately, he ceased after a few minutes and she listened to him take a seat across from her.

"What subject are you on?" he asked. Gen opened her eyes and sat back up, her break time coming to an end.

"Transfiguration," she answered, rubbing her eyes.

"How long have you been at this?" he asked. Gen smiled wryly.

"Collectively? Since eight this morning," she answered, picking up her parchment again. He was opening his own transfiguration textbook and glancing at his notes. They fell into silence for a while, working. Or, at least Remus was. Gen was trying, but her mind kept slipping away to faraway places.

"Gen," Remus said, a form of calling in his voice, "your exams won't be outside the window." Gen laughed softly, giving him a fake look of anger.

"I just can't focus on it anymore. I feel like I know the words in that book better than McGonagall," she replied. He looked up briefly before responding.

"Then move on to Charms or something."

Remus had switched into his alternate persona already – the studious worker who didn't like to be interrupted until he felt he could stop. Gen knew best to be quiet or to leave. She sat back in her chair and pulled out her Charms book. Opening it up to the chapter she was last on, Gen propped it up against the edge of the table so the bottom was on her lap.

She couldn't remember what she had been reading when she fell asleep. It was a deep and restful sleep, where she dreamed about being at home. The dream was so calming, unlike her other dreams, which were usually strange and vivid, with an abnormal amount of detail that Gen could always recall. Usually, when she woke up, she could remember what kind of wallpaper had been on the walls. Of course, she had been thinking about her home of late, being that they would be leaving school so soon.

"Gen," said a soft voice. It was calling her back from sleep with a gentle shake of the shoulder. She didn't recognize it at first. "Sweetheart, you need to stop sleeping." A small smile crept over her face when she remembered that Remus had been across from her. She opened her eyes to find him kneeling down beside her.

"Sorry," she whispered, sitting back up.

"No worries. Did you have a good nap?" he asked, amusement etched into his face. He stood and walked back to his chair. Gen chuckled and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Oh sure," she joked. As she reached for the textbook that had fallen from her lap there was a sudden kink in her neck that made her gasp. Her free hand went to it instantly, rubbing the tender area.

"All right?" Remus asked. Gen righted herself and nodded.

"Fine," she answered. When she looked up he had already returned to his studies and Gen felt badly for interrupting him. "Sorry," she whispered and bent her head over her notes. Realizing that she was only going to fall asleep again, Gen decided to leave and began quietly tucking her things away in her bag.

"Going to get dinner?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, do you want anything?" she replied, closing her bag. Remus looked up at her and shook his head.

"I've just come back from there."

"Wait, what? You went to dinner and left me up here sleeping?" Gen asked, shocked that he would do that. Remus shrugged.

"You looked like you needed to sleep more. And Lily came to get me so I went with her," he answered.

Lily. Perfect.

Gen shook her head and grabbed her bag.

"Thanks," she said curtly, turning on her heel and walking out. Much to her continued surprise, Remus didn't come after her.

When she made it back to the Common Room – after skipping out on the Great Hall – she walked right over to Lily and announced: "We need to talk."

Lily seemed very surprised by Gen's aggressive tone and that she was demanding conversation. However, Lily rose from her seat and followed Gen up to her dormitory.

"All right, I don't know what you're playing at, but the next time you want to take my boyfriend down to dinner don't do it while I'm sleeping, go it?" Gen said when the door closed behind them and making sure the room was empty.

"What?" Lily asked, appearing confused.

"You heard me," Gen replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "I know you and Remus are friends, but that is no excuse for you to leave me asleep in the freaking library during dinner. I would have thought that was common courtesy even if we weren't friends."

"Gen, you're over-reacting," Lily said, not taking Gen lightly.

"I don't think so," Gen said, her mouth turning down in disbelief. "I mean, what's this in comparison to your constant whispering in his ears and general demand for his attention since the point you knew I liked him?" Lily colored a little but narrowed her eyes.

"It has nothing to do with you," she said, sharply. Gen knew that it was a lie.

"Oh how I doubt that one! Not while you're intent on keeping your conversations secret from me. I'm not a moron, Lily," Gen exclaimed, heatedly. Lily scoffed at her, her hands going to her hips.

"I beg to differ! You barely seem to notice that there is something serious going on – "

"That you're all keeping something hushed up from me about Remus?! As if I didn't notice. All of you make these ridiculous comments – God forbid any of you grow the stones to tell me any of it. Nope, just leave the worried girlfriend to panic about whatever it is the most amazing guy she has ever met is keeping from her. It feels real good, let me tell you, pretending not to be bothered by the way Sirius watches him and the way you hover over him like a freaking helicopter," Gen interrupted, her voice still growing louder. Unexpectedly, Lily changed her expression and her arms dropped away.

"Gen, we want to tell you. We know you'll understand." Lily sighed, and Gen knew that it wasn't out of frustration with her. Gen looked down at her shoes, some of her own tension receding.

"It's not your place to tell me. I just keep waiting for the day that he wants me to know," Gen replied, a sound of defeat in her voice.

"You may not ever find out from him," Lily said. Gen locked eyes with her again.

"Is it that bad, Lily?" she asked before she had time to think about wanting the answer. Lily opened her mouth to answer, but then hesitated.

"Depends on what you think 'bad' is." Gen thought about it, and realized what her bigger concern was.

"Is it going to hurt me to find out?"

Lily finally shook her head.

"If you care as much about him as I believe you do, then no. But when you find out, you'll understand what I'm doing," she answered.

"So you're going to keep making those comments and whispering?" Gen asked, groaning a little. Lily nodded.

"I have to. We all do," she said. Gen nodded in understanding.

"Sorry I started yelling at you," Gen said after a pause. "I just hit a breaking point."

"Everything is fine, don't worry about it," Lily said with a wave of her hand. She reached for the door knob and looked at Gen for a final thought. "I really like you, Gen. I hope you know that." They exchanged smiles and Gen was left in her room. She sat down on her bed and considered going back and apologizing to Remus. But, the more she thought about it the more she couldn't seem to let her anger at him subside enough to actually do it. He did leave her asleep in the library.

What the hell was that about? She asked herself a few more times, crossing her arms over her body again. She chewed on the inside of her cheek as her anger ebbed and flowed, passing at least half an hour. She then fished for some of her birthday candy, trying to placate both her hunger and her emotions. Luckily, a few chocolate frogs and licorice wands later, she had calmed down enough to return to the common room to find her friends. She sat with Alice and Catherin when she found them, who both seemed drained of energy.

"Have enough of the studying ladies?" Gen asked with a smile, dumping a healthy ration of lollipops and Bertie Botts' beans on the table before them. The girls helped themselves and began talking about their days. Gen and Alice agreed that the mornings Potions class was unreasonably difficult, and it was no wonder that only Lily and Snivellus finished correctly. Gen could see more and more that Lily and Severus had been friends the longer she was here. She would catch him staring at Lily with sadness and longing all over his face. His expression was honest that Gen could not help but feel sad, too. She could never bear to look at him for more than a few moments when she saw him, and couldn't help but wonder if she would be different if he and Lily stayed friends, or even if they had become more than friends.

It didn't mean that she didn't think he was any less horrible, she just wondered if he could help it.

Catherine informed them that her Divination class had been completely derailed by Sirius that morning because he refused to believe that Marlene saw him on trial at the Ministry in her crystal ball.

"He carried on about it for half an hour," Catherine complained. Gen couldn't help but laugh.

"He'd only go on trial for trying to score with the Minister's daughter or something," she said, still laughing, folding her legs up under her in the chair.

"Gen," Alice said with a worried look on her face, "Remus looks really angry."

"Remus Lupin? Angry? Yeah right," Catherine objected, turning to satisfy her own curiosity. Needless to say, she didn't continue in her disbelief. Gen didn't bother to look around, certain that he would ignore her and go up to his room.

"Mind telling me what your problem is?" he asked, having marched right over to her.

I was wrong about that one, she thought. She steadied herself before looking up at him.

"I thought I had been rather clear," she answered coolly.

"So you just leave me there?" he asked.

"Seemed the appropriate action," she stated.

"You've got some nerve," he said, dropping his bag on the ground.

"To walk away from an argument that you were going to lose? Oh yeah, I'm real indecent," Gen responded, not bothering to spare him from her anger.

"You're just mad that I went with Lily," he continued. Gen actually couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I think we need to go outside and talk about this," she replied after a few moments of shocked silence. She rose from her chair and grabbed his hand, dragging him out into the hall beyond the portrait hall. Once away from inquiring eyes and prying ears she turned to him.

"Admit it," he said, undoubtedly angry, "you're jealous of her."

"First of all, why would I be jealous of Lily? I'm your girlfriend. Second, you leave me asleep in the library to go have dinner without thinking to wake me and you conclude that I'm jealous?!" Gen cried, absolutely bewildered.

"Oh, come off it Gen, I know how you are! You're always after me about what the hell Lily is talking about when it isn't any of your business!" he said.

"That has absolutely nothing to do with this, but perhaps that's your conscious talking to you there, babe. While we're on it, maybe I wouldn't care so much if it wasn't so blatantly obvious that you're keeping something from me!"

He seemed stunned that she had noticed and didn't say anything for a long while. He simply stared at her, his mouth open to make his next point but the words had been wiped clear away. Gen sighed and sank down against the wall, her hands going to her face. She could feel herself giving in – she could never hold on to her rage, and being cross with Remus after being involved with him was simply impossible.

"How could you know?" he asked, voice quiet. Gen watched as other students walked out of the portrait hole, their eyes studying the two of them. She waited until they were out of earshot to answer.

"Remus, when you like someone as much as I like you it's hard not to notice and understand that they're keeping something from you. Especially when all your friends are making a point to disagree with you, and it's all I can think about." She waited some time for him to have an answer but as the moments passed by it didn't seem like it was going to come. She then rose, feeling absolutely defeated. She paused in front of him, and it took nearly all of her to look up at him. "I'm sorry that you think me petty enough to be jealous of Lily. You two are excellent friends and I am so happy that you have her to tell whatever it is you can't tell me. But, if you can't understand why I was upset about earlier then maybe you wouldn't understand that I care more about you than nearly anything. Maybe I'm just really terrible at showing it. If you want to end this, then fine. I'll be a big girl about it." She dropped her eyes and quickly walked away, muttering the password to the Fat Lady. The woman in the portrait was sniffling into a handkerchief that matched her dress.

"Go back to him! Tell him you'll do anything!" she cried. Gen colored and looked back at Remus. He was staring again, hand on top of his head in his uncertainty.

"There isn't anything I can do, ma'am," Gen said to the portrait, hugging her arms around herself. "He knows where I stand, but I can't make him trust me."

The Fat Lady gave a ridiculous sob and swung open, Gen leaving Remus to do whatever he had to do.

Alice agreed with the Fat Lady.

"You're being unreasonable," she had said. Gen was flabbergasted.

"Are you kidding?" Georgina demanded that night. Luckily, she had been there to speak for Gen. "He's being a right git for saying Gen was jealous, and I've never been one to think badly of Remus."

"He's just stressed," Alice had replied.

Nothing further was said, and the days commence of frantic studying.

Gen and Remus spoke but saw little of each other those next days. Gen didn't know if she still had a boyfriend and though the Marauders treated her the same way they didn't seem any more certain than she was.

Of course, she never asked.

Their Charms exam was the following Monday, and Gen was told she had done very well by her tiny professor. She left Professor Flitwick's class radiating joy at how easy she had found it, and relief that one test was over.

Remus caught her after class. Her had grabbed her wrist, and awkwardly dropped it when she turned to face him.

"Can we talk?" he asked. Gen nodded.

"Of course." He shuffled through the crowd towards the window and looked down at her.

"So, how are you?" he asked. Gen couldn't help but smile in confusion.

"I'm good, glad that's over with," she answered. He shifted uncomfortably, and she prompted him patiently, "how's things going?"

"Oh, you know, pretty good," he answered. She smiled and nodded, trying to remain polite. Her eyes looked out the window, trying to find anything to look at than his face.

"Listen, I'm really sorry and I know I was being an idiot and I don't want to break up I just don't know how you would take it if I told you what they all want you to know," he said. He said it so fast that Gen couldn't piece it together.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," she said, looking back at him. He took a steadying breath and closed his eyes for a second.

"I'm sorry," he said, brown eyes opening again and locking on her, "for everything. I feel so awful about what I said and I know none of it is true."

"Oh," Gen said, surprised, "okay. Well, I'm sorry, too."

"And I can't even think about not being with you," he said quietly and timidly. He finally smiled, and reached forward to touch her cheek.

"I've wanted to hear that for days," she replied in relief, putting her hand on top of his.

"Unless you think I've been too much of an arse to stay with me, I don't want to break up," he said. Gen laughed.

"Oh listen to you, baiting me into telling you that I never want you to go," she teased. He grinned at her.

"You said it anyway." She rolled her eyes and gave him a swat on the arm.

"Jerk," she said. He laughed and pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head.

"You shouldn't have to hear all those things from the others," he said. Gen noted the reluctance in his voice, but looked up at him expectantly. "I just can't find the courage to tell you."

"Remus," she began, "I'm never going to judge you." He sighed and his jaw seemed to tighten a great deal.

"That's the part I have trouble with," he said. "I'm so lucky to have you that I can't stand to imagine what you'll say to me when I tell you." His voice fell so quiet and his body seemed to lose so much life that Gen couldn't believe she was talking to the same person. She grabbed his hand and began leading him outdoors, so that he could open up to her with a little more privacy. They walked, hand in hand, into the sunshine and down near the Gamekeeper Hagrid's hut. She knew Hagrid wouldn't bother them if they were just sitting in the grass, so that's precisely what they did.

"Remus," she began, taking her bag off her shoulder, "you don't have to tell me anything you aren't ready to tell me. But you can't seriously think that I won't be able to handle whatever you tell me. There are only a few things that would change my opinion of you and my affection for you – all of which would involve hurting me considerably." He smiled in a strange way, and Gen wasn't sure how to react.

"I could though," he said. Gen gave him a confused expression.

"What?"

"I am something that could harm you a great deal," he said. Gen's mind thought back to their first kiss. At first she struggled to get beyond the happiness that moment had entailed for her, but then she was able to remember what Remus had said to her.

"You're not to be trusted…" she repeated absent mindedly. She looked back at him to see him nodding, a knowing smile on his face. "What do you mean 'something'?"

"I really can't get anything by you," he joked.

"If you didn't want me to pick up on it you wouldn't have said it," Gen replied. He nodded and hesitated before answering.

"It means exactly that; I am something that can hurt you," he said. Gen stared down at his feet, her fingers pulling up the grass.

"Just me or people in general?" she asked, not daring to look up.

"Everybody," he replied. "Within a reasonable distance anyway." She took in a wavered breath as her mind began to piece together what had been in front of her all this time.

"This has something to do with you getting sick," she said. More of her memories flashed before her minds' eye and the parts were sticking out clearer than ever before.

"How often do I get sick, Gen?" he asked. His voice was flat but Gen knew that he was struggling to continue this conversation.

"I'd say…" her voice trailed off as she stared beyond him and at the distant tree line. Her heart stopped for a moment and her mouth dried out a little. She wasn't afraid – if it was what she thought it was then she wasn't afraid. She just couldn't believe she hadn't realized it.

"Say it," she said.

"You already know," he objected.

"Say it," she repeated. They finally locked eyes and he seemed like he was forcing himself.

"I'm a werewolf," he said, quietly. Gen watched him in silence for a few moments, and then the most profound thing happened.

She had no opinion.

She wasn't overwhelmed with surprise. She supposed it was because she had known what it was for a while now, and just never stopped to consider it.

And then…

"So?" she asked. He seemed shocked. His eyes widened and it took him a second to recover.

"So, every full moon I turn into a murderous and dangerous creature that can't remember who he is and then change back with no recollection," he said, loudly.

"Yeah, I guess that's a big deal," Gen said, thinking it over as she leaned back on her hands. Remus blinked at her.

Yeah, I knew he'd like that one.

"A big deal? Gen, it's a bloody big deal!" he exclaimed, having trouble keeping his voice down.

"Remus, every girl on the planet turns into a monster once a month, you're not special," she said with a laugh. Remus, much to her disappointment, didn't laugh. He started shaking his head and grabbed his bag like he was going to walk away from her. She lunged forward and grabbed his hand, "Oh, don't go. I'm sorry, I was just joking. I'm sorry that you have to go through that, and I'm even happier that you opened up to me. You clearly face so many more problems than I can even fathom. But, you're still Remus to me." He paused and looked at her and she smiled. Breaking down he sighed.

"I just will never forgive myself if I hurt you," he said. Gen crawled over to him, pushing his bag out of his lap and sitting there in its place. She looked at him as he half-smiled, and ran a hand over his face.

"I can hurt you, too," she said. He opened his mouth to object but she put a finger to his lips. "Yes I can, and I'll try my very best not to. Just like you. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me, it had to be so hard. Please remember that you're still my boyfriend, and I care about you more than I can admit sometimes. You will always be Remus Lupin to me, even if you go a little funky when the moon is full." She finished her speech with a kiss on his forehead and she felt his hands wrap around her waist. His eyes closed and they sat there in silence for a few moments.

"How can you be so calm about this?" he asked. Gen smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

"My mom's brother is a werewolf," she answered. "He's my Uncle Ted, and I don't see him as anything but that." Remus looked shocked.

"He is?"

"Yeah. Got bit when he was seven years old," she said. "My Aunt Claire loves it – she says it keeps things spicy knowing he can be such an animal."

They both started laughing hysterically.

When they wandered back towards the castle, Gen spotted their friends also outside. They had brought sandwiches outside for lunch, and James began waving the couple over with a huge grin. The energy between Remus and Gen was lighter than it had ever been. And everyone noticed. Lily looked at Gen in an impressed way, and Gen merely winked. Lily gave her a discreet nod as she passed over Gen's sandwich, and then proceeded to ignore James.

She and Remus sat next to each other in the large circle as they ate their meals. They joined separate conversations, but Remus' hand fell back into her lap once he had finished eating. Gen felt her skin tingle and her happiness increase, but no one would have even noticed their interaction.

Gen asked how the others exams had gone, and she was asked if her exam had been all she hyped it up to be.

"It was better than I thought," she replied.

"We told you not to worry," Georgina replied with a smile.

"Not to mention that Charms is one of your best subjects so it should feel great that he told you how well you did," Alice added. Gen chuckled at her friend.

"We'll see how the rest of them go," Gen replied, popping that last bit of her sandwich in her mouth.

"I'm sure you did brilliantly," Remus said, his hand giving her a reassuring squeeze. She looked up at him and smiled, unaware that he had stopped talking to Sirius and Peter and had listened to their conversation.

"Why thank you, my good sir," she said with a grin.

When they all had finished their food they stood and began making their way down towards the lake. The sun was shining so brightly and the air was warm so there was no excuse to be back inside, even if they did have exams to study for. Andrea and Catherine went running down towards the path, Georgina grabbing Alice away from Frank so that they would stop being what Georgina called "murderously adorable." Gen and Remus stuck by one another, Gen still thwarting off thoughts of her Transfiguration exam she had in the morning.

"I'm sorry I accused you of not knowing what it's like to be alone at Hogwarts," she said quietly, the memory cropping up with a sting of pain.

"I've been waiting for you to understand that," he said, nodding. "Telling you was out of the question for me at that point, but I couldn't help empathizing. Especially since you were really distracted by it, and I wanted you to know that I was there for you." Gen smiled and opened her mouth to say something witty but was cutoff.

"What have we here, Padfoot?" said James, butting between the couple and putting her arms around their shoulders.

"I haven't the slightest idea Prongs. Wormtail, any thoughts?" Sirius asked coyly from the other side of Remus. Wormtail, beside Gen, faked an expression of thought. Gen doubted his familiarity with real thinking.

"Have the quarrelling lovers come to," Peter began, gasping before he continued, "an understanding?" James and Sirius jumped in front of them so they could not continue, and Gen saw Remus rolling his eyes but smiling. Her attention was grabbed away again but the three other boys, standing side-by-side as a wall.

"An understanding? Well, that can only mean one thing," James said, grinning.

"Moony's gone and told her his deep, dark, terrifying secret," Sirius said. Peter cackled and Gen could help but laugh.

"The blasphemy!" cried James. "How can she be making a mockery of our dear Remus?!"

"The indecency!" echoed Peter, even more dramatically.

"The audacity!" exclaimed Sirius. Gen continued to laugh, finding it hard to stop.

"Guys, give it a rest," Remus groaned.

"How'd she take it, mate?" Sirius asked.

"You two aren't staying together for our sakes, are you?" James asked. "Because I quite like the idea of being shared on weekends." Gen laughed even louder, covering her face.

"She took it very well, barely even surprised," Remus answered.

"What?" the three asked in unison.

"My uncle is a werewolf. It made perfect sense when I forgot worrying about Remus and started looking at the facts," Gen answered simply.

"Your uncle?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, my mom's brother. He and my aunt and my cousins live in Colorado though, so I rarely see them. I'm actually disappointed that I didn't figure this out sooner," Gen explained, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"He has children?" asked Remus, sounding surprised. Gen nodded.

"Yeah, two sets of twins. Mya and Mary, and Gregory and Sylvia," Gen responded.

"Sylvia?" Peter asked, not bothering to hide the dislike for the name in his voice.

"Yeah," Gen replied with a chuckled, "not sure what happened there." The boys laughed but didn't move from in front of her.

"Well, while we're on the subject of secrets," James began, looking at Sirius and Peter, who both nodded, "we might as well tell you the rest of it."

Gen furrowed her brow and wasn't sure what to expect.

"Okay, shoot," she said.

James and Sirius looked at each other apprehensively and Peter took a deep breath.

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