Elladan
When I knock on the door of Legolas' rooms it is Aragorn who answers and for a moment I think he will slam the door shut in my face when he sees me. Arwen may think he will forgive me my indiscretions against Legolas but it is obvious he has not forgiven me yet. He is furious.
"What do you want?" His voice is cold and cutting.
"Glorfindel thought perhaps I could be of help."
"He told me as much," Estel blocks my way, he is determined not to let me in. "I disagree. You have done enough damage here I think."
Estel and Legolas have a bond that exceeds that of normal friendship, I know that. He counts Legolas to be as much his brother as I am. A chosen brother. The fact I have hurt Legolas has enraged him and I do not blame him for trying to protect his friend from me. I would myself if I was in his shoes.
Had I arrived here before my recent revelation I would have turned and left, I would have respected his anger. But now I cannot. I know what is wrong and I know what to do and Estel can not do it. It must be me.
"Let me in Estel. I know you are angry but I can help."
"Oh you do not know the half of my anger!" Estel bites back. "I do not even recognise you. You are not the Elladan I thought you were and I do not want you here."
If I have to use force to get past him I will but I do not want to...oh how I do not want to. Still I put my foot in the doorway to keep it open and lean towards him.
"Let me in Estel! I must see Legolas. I know now what must be done."
"You must do nothing as far as Legolas is concerned. He would not wish you here."
We are interrupted by another voice, a hand on Estel's shoulder.
"What goes on here?"
It is Glorfindel and his face lights up when he sees me.
"Elladan, where have you been? I go to get food and you disappear. I hoped you would be here."
It is good to see him. I still struggle to believe he wishes to give me the time of day.
"I went to see Elrohir," I answer, "and he has told me something that changes everything. I can help Legolas...if only Estel will let me."
Glorfindel lets out what I think is a sigh of relief.
"Let him in Estel." He says firmly. He is the Glorfindel who will not be ignored.
Estel turns to him in astonishment.
"We have discussed this. I cannot trust him. I have no reason to believe his motives are genuine and I will not allow him to damage Legolas further."
Glorfindel takes him by the shoulders then so Estel looks into his eyes.
"You let your fear for Legolas cloud your judgement. This is Elladan...Elladan your brother. Whatever ails Legolas is not his fault, it is not a result of those injuries. It is something more. You will harm Legolas further if you do not accept every help available to you and we no longer have the luxury of time."
"You let your love for Elladan cloud your judgement!" Estel pulls himself away aggressively. He resists even Glorfindel's commanding presence but I can use his distraction to get in here and I do.
Estel is quick but I am quicker. Estel has lightening fast reflexes but I am an elf and he cannot stop me as I dart past, across the living area and into the bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind me as he pushes against it.
"Let me in Elladan!" he cries but I will not for it is obvious there is no chance he will allow me to do what I need to.
"Elladan! This is not sensible." It is Glorfindel pleading and I hear the edge of fear in his voice. He may say he believes in me but deep down he does not trust me. Not with Legolas.
I ignore them. I have to if I am to make this work and I have to make it work. I turn my mind away from their clamouring and banging and instead look to Legolas where he lies on the bed.
He is completely still and white, so pale. He is always pale at the best of times but this is so much worse, and I must look closely to see the slightest motion of his chest to even know he breathes. He looks deathly ill. No wonder Estel is afraid.
His face is marred by an unsightly bruise traveling down past his eye to his cheek and the gash on his forehead has been mended with Estel's neat and tiny sutures. His chest is covered in bandages which hide, I know, the damage caused by me.
If only I could take it back. Looking back now I cannot believe I did that. Why did I not realise what was happening to me? Why did I not notice myself falling apart and seek help? Now that I understand clearly, it all seems so obvious, so simple. I should have worked this out much faster than I did. I knew, even as far back as the moment I first claimed the sealonging that all was not well with Legolas. The blankness in his eyes...the way he slept afterwards for ages, seemingly disconnected from the world. Why did I not see this when it was right in front of me?
"Legolas?" I say his name softly, quietly, gently as I stroke my fingers over the wound on his face then lay my hand upon his chest. I can feel the remnants of Estel's healing power here. He has thrown everything he has at this and I wonder how he has the energy to stay standing.
I follow the path he has left, travel down his tracks into the heart of Legolas and I see instantly what Arwen meant. Instead of being greeted by the wild, untamed spirit as I should be there is nothing but darkness. It seems as if he is simply not there.
But I am stronger than Estel and my sister at this. Glorfindel is right...this is something I do well. I push harder, deeper, using techniques my father has taught me to find the core of his essence and sure enough, he is still there. A flicker of his green/gold spirit appears before me but when he sees me he flinches and pulls away.
"Legolas, I will not hurt you," I say gently as if he is a child and I put out my hand. "I am here to help. I bring back that which I took from you. I bring back the sea-longing. Let me give it to you."
His spirit flares brightly then. A rush of green surrounds me and he clasps my hand as if in desperation. I do not have to lure him in, I do not have to struggle to open a connection for he attacks me as a drowning man and suddenly, shockingly, we are one.
I am engulfed by the sea. It roars around me, swirls at my feet and tugs me to its depth. This raging, angry sea I have carried for so long is as eager to return to Legolas as he is to reclaim it. It recognises its home.
A wave then, of pure unadulterated joy washes over me. It is contagious and I laugh. Before me is Legolas. Eyes bright, face split by a smile, he dances through the waves. The sea spray coats his face and he shakes his head covering me with water as he does so. He is joy personified.
"Elladan!" He cries as he takes my hand. "You have saved me! Oh I had forgotten the joy of this. I am Legolas!"
And then as suddenly as our link appeared it is gone and I am thrown clear, spiralling through darkness until I open my eyes and find myself sat on his bed, in his room, with Aragorn and Glorfindel pounding at the door. It is so dislocating.
Legolas lies before me, as still and as deathlike as he did before. I watch, my spirits falling as I wonder if I have not helped after all. And if I have not I have no idea what else to do. But slowly he opens his eyes and smiles up at me when he sees me, with his angelic smile.
"Elladan!" He cries as he hauls himself up to sit. "Thank you!" And I find myself in his arms as he embraces me. I am light as a feather without the burden of his sea wrapped around me. I feel as if, if he let me go, I would float.
He releases me then and pushes off the blankets that cover him, swinging his feet to the floor.
"What are you doing?" I reach out to stop him but he pushes my hand away with a grin.
"Shall we let them in?" He asks mischievously. "They seem rather anxious." And he indicates the door. Then as I watch he goes to stand but his legs do not hold him and he crumples slowly to the floor.
"Oh!" He cries in surprise. "My legs do not work. I wonder why that is?" He is so genuinely bemused that it strikes me as funny and I laugh.
I try to stand to haul him to his feet, or at least back upon the bed and it is then I realise his problem for my legs are like jelly and I slide rather inelegantly to the floor beside him.
"You are rather clumsy for a Noldo." He says, completely straight-faced and suddenly the two of us are laughing until there are tears in our eyes. It all seems completely hysterical. I am drunk on relief.
And then the key in the door falls to the floor with a clunk.
The banging and pounding has stopped outside and all is quiet except for the rattle of the lock. Estel has sent for the master key.
"They are so impatient to see us they let themselves in!" Legolas quips and it is all it takes to start us giggling again. Our whole situation seems so completely and utterly ridiculous, stranded on the floor as we are.
So it is that when Estel and Glorfindel charge their way through the door in a desperate panic they find two grown elves sitting on the floor doubled over with laughter and the look of incredulous astonishment on Estel's face makes us laugh all the harder.
"Aragorn!" Legolas cries in overly dramatic fashion, "Elladan has restored me, but he has forgotten to include my legs!" And he flings his arms wide. He is obviously as giddy with relief as I am, and oh he is such a child when he wants to be!
Estel is lost for words. He stares at us as if we are a pair of Feanorians returned from the dead. I am not sure if it is in horror or confusion.
And Glorfindel? Glorfindel looks at me with an expression that could only be described as frustrated fondness.
"Oh, Elladan," he says with a sigh. "You fool, what have you done?"