Author's Note: This is one of my favorite and least favorite chapters and I hope you all enjoy it and don't kill me. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing not even most of the plot.
Summary: Kurt is enchanted. A fairy gift gone wrong has made him a danger to himself and others. When his father remarries due to necessity things quickly spiral down - the only thing Kurt can hold onto is his friendship with the Prince of Dalton - Blaine - but even that could end in tragedy if the wrong people find out about his curse. Based off of Ella Enchanted.
10. Hardest Thing
When the next letter arrived Rachel made the mistake of handing it to Carole where Quinn, Terry, and Brittany saw. Brittany, ever so naïve asked about it as if it were a normal occurrence.
Carole stuffed it in her apron. "It's not one. A friend."
Terry nodded, but it was Quinn that eyes Kurt as if he had something to do with it.
"Just a friend?" she asked, "it didn't even have the name of who sent it."
"It's none of your business," Carole said, "I am allowed to have my privacy."
After that Quinn said nothing more about it, but Kurt heard them later. They were worried that Carole might be looking for another job.
"I think it's all sweet," Rachel said to Kurt, "how Carole seems to be corresponding with a man. She deserves someone, you know. She was telling me the other night how lonely it is without her late husband. Sir Hudson was one of the best knights."
Kurt didn't know that Rachel and Carole talked so much, but he should have expected it. Carole was apparently a regular gossip. At least she hadn't told Rachel crucial details about his friendship with Blaine.
He didn't get to read the letter until mid-afternoon when Terry and Quinn went to call on a friend and Brittany locked herself in her room with the cat. Rachel and Carole were preparing dinner and Kurt had already done the laundry for the week so he had the time to lock his room door and actually have light to read the letter by.
Dearest Kurt,
I find that I miss you more and more as the time goes on and sometimes I dream about just gathering a few of my belongings, saddling Pavarotti and riding home as fast as I can just to be able to see you and just so I can hear your voice while you tell me everything and nothing. This week I met someone that made me miss you more than anyone else has.
His name is Sebastian Smythe and he too is like us. I was introduced by Prince Jesse. He is the son of a lord and he sure does act like it. He too sings, and I can't say anything bad about his voice though I've only heard it once. He complimented me all night, and even asked me to take a walk with him. Everyone is so formal and polite here that I naturally had to go with him. It was expected that I would. But when he reached to take my hand all I could feel is wrong.
We've skirted the subject for a while now. My trip is half over and still you slyly change the subject or make it so that I'm distracted from it. You're good at this – too good. But I wanted you there – your hand, your voice, your laughter. I miss you so much. Much more than a friend should miss a friend. And I cannot keep that to myself anymore. I cannot continue hinting at the feelings that burst from my chest. You have to know them, to read them from this page and know them and not the hints I've thrown.
A part of me wants to go back and scratch out the entire last paragraph. But I can't. I won't. We can't skirt the subject, Kurt. I think of what someone once said about distance making the heart grow fonder and it's true. I think I love you.
Wow is that a weight off my shoulders. I feel so free. And you know what, I think I've loved you from the moment I met you at your mother's grave, from the moment you turned your face and your eyes met mine.
And I can only hope that this brings relief to your heart, that it brings it the freedom it has brought mine. Love! (how wonderful it feels to pen the word) love, love, love.
Love,
Blaine
Kurt inhaled a breath and then he closed his eyes before he read the letter again and broken out laughter. He loved him! Blaine loved him! He rushed to get his stationary and set about writing a reply.
My dearest Blaine,
And I can say that now, I can dare to call you mine. I can dare to claim you from the world. Mine. Mine. Mine. I want to scribble my name right on your skin so everyone might know.
To make it clear, I'll say it here: I love you. I miss you. I want you. I love you.
My mind runs away with me and I can see your face, your smile when you get this and your laughter, your giddiness to match mine. You make me the happiest—
But no. He couldn't do that. He couldn't voice his feelings. He couldn't tell Blaine how much he loved him, and how much he—
Kurt loved him. He dropped his pen and he too fell back against the wall. His entire body was shaking. Where for a little while he'd experienced the kind of euphoria that only came when something so perfectly amazing happened, he was now in pure agony.
He let Blaine's letter fall away and then he began to cry. Gut wrenching sobs escaped him and his entire body shook with his cries. It wasn't fair. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Blaine wasn't supposed to love him and Kurt was supposed to just let him love other people. More than ever before, Kurt hated his curse. He couldn't stand the thought that something so insignificant could ruin his life that way.
His vision was so blurred and his face a mess of tears as he sank into his bed and curled up into himself and kept crying. He didn't hear anyone come in, but he did feel the arm on his shoulder.
"Kurt? Sweetie?"
Kurt sobbed harder.
Carole didn't say anything else. Instead she hugged him, and he crawled into her lap and he continued to cry while she brushed his hair from his face.
"I can't stay long," she said after a while, "they'll be back soon. I'll say you're sick."
Kurt barely nodded. Eventually he grew exhausted from crying and he just lay there staring at the ceiling and feeling like his heart was ripping bit by bit in his chest. It was the only explanation for how it hurt.
Eventually when it was dark enough that he would need a candle he ripped the letter he started in half and then lit a candle and he began another.
Blaine,
I am sorry to have given you the wrong impression. I have not avoided your hints without reason. I can never feel the way you feel about me – and I am sorry that I will cause you heartbreak but I think from this day forth all communication between us must stop.
You were a good friend and I enjoyed all of our time as friends, but we can be nothing more. My reasoning is my own and I'd like to keep it that way. I want you to respect that, as my friend.
One day maybe you'll know why – but until then, I hope this has not hurt you too much.
Your friend,
Kurt
It was short and awkward and Kurt had to stop himself from writing something teasing and fun, anything that would give Blaine the impression that Kurt wasn't letting him down. When he was done his second bout of tears began and all he could think of was poor Blaine receiving the letter and being so excited so hopeful and having all of that crushed.
He ached to grab the letter and tear it apart. Instead, he sealed it and left it next to him on the bed to give to Carole to post. It needed to go to Blaine – Kurt needed to do this.
Kurt didn't know how he managed to fall asleep.
Author's Note: Hope you liked it. I'll have the next chapter up soon. Probably thursday night? If not then definitely Friday.
Please review, and thank you for reading. You can find me on tumblr: emquin.
-Erika