DEATH OF A COMEDIAN

Dale, meanwhile, in spite of his own exhaustion, had ran down the tree, dashed across a clearing, scaled another tree, and ran all the way out a very long limb. He then dropped to his face and cried like never before.

Foxglove followed, more scared than exhausted, and found him sobbing so uncontrollably that the branch was shaking in rhythm to the rodent's gasps. That was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Landing behind him, she padded closer and quietly asked, "Darling, what's wrong?"

Dale did not even turn around. He tried to reply between sobs, "Foxy…I…I…can't…marry…you!"

Foxglove's heart sank as horror swept through every quark of her being.

"W…what?" she sobbed in reply, nearly falling off the branch because of the shock.

"I…can't…marry…you…not now! Not…after…this!"

"D-Dale, why not?" she pleaded, incredulous of what she was hearing. "Fat Cat won't do this to me again!"

Dale looked up at her; his face was a total mess. "You…are…the most beautiful…sweetest…nicest…girl…ever…!"

Foxglove dropped to her knees beside him and held his shoulders. "Dale—"

"You…believed in me…" he turned away from her, as if he thought he was undeserving of her touch. "You…cared for me…you…loved me…more than anythin'…and…I…almost…killed you!"

The female reeled at that.

It was just plain nonsense!

"Dale, what are you talking about? You rescued me and the others! You saved the day!"

"Foxy…I…failed you!" he insisted.

The bat was a mess now, too. And she couldn't even begin to think why Dale thought so horribly of himself.

A few distressing minutes of angst-filled sobbing later, Dale explained, "Foxy…I failed you. When I saw the note…Fat Cat left, I fainted…I passed out…when you needed me most…that's why…I…failed…I failed you…I should have been strong…gone with the others…they knew better…they knew I could…screw things up…again—"

"Dale, things were screwed up WITHOUT YOU!" she sobbed, feeling she was losing him. "And YOU saved all of us! If you fainted, that's okay—"

"NO, IT'S NOT!" he yelled at her face, frightening her even more. He then turned and looked at the ground, "I…loved you…I never wanted to hurt you…what if it happens…again…with you…with our cubs…!" Another bout of sobbing followed.

Foxglove futilely tried to find words of comfort at this onslaught of self-loathing, and practically of self-destruction, too, "Dale, no one saw this coming! You couldn't know what was gonna happen! And it was ALL MY FAULT! Please, please don't leave me!" She gripped his arms and sobbed in his shirt.

Dale shook his head, "Not yours…or Gadget's…mine…all my fault…for wantin' to…marry you…Foxy…if you had not chosen me…to fall in love with…and me…in love with you…Fat Cat would have never…done this to you…to us…we have lots of enemies…it could happen again…I would faint…the bad guys would get you…our cubs…you…they…we…may not be so…lucky…next time!"

The chipmunk then sat up and continued, still not looking at the bat he loved more than life itself. "I am—incon—inconsis—unstable…Gadget knew that…that's why she…didn't choose me…and she was right…by not choosin' me…why did…why did…" He yelled at her once more, "WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME?"

Angered, she yelled right back, "GADGET WAS A FOOL FOR NOT CHOOSING YOU! I chose you because you're the mother of all luna moths! And it wasn't your fault! This whole thing was Fat Cat's doing! You may have fainted, but you recovered and came back with a vengeance!"

"…my fault…I…am…cod liver oil…always have been…always will…Chip knows that…the others know that…I…could have…messed up…again…even with Otis and Midge…I could…could have…killed you…and the others…and me…please, Foxy…I love you…I adore you…more than anythin'…that's why I…have to let you go…just…call it off…the whole thing…just be friends…so you won't be in…danger…just drop the…whole thing…just…be…friends…"

Completely incredulous of what he was saying, Foxglove turned him around to face her, even though he would not look at her eyes, and cried, "Dale, please don't reject me! Not now! Please! I've been so happy since you asked me to marry you! And ever since I first met you my heart's been in my throat at the very idea that you might like me. Please don't do this to me because of what some villain tried to do to us! Please! There's no way I could live here anymore! I couldn't bear to see you and hear your voice and know that we'd never be anything but just friends, not now! I know you deserve someone better than me, but…but if you've brought me this far along just to break my heart at the last minute, then…then…then I'll hunt Fat Cat down and feed myself to him! That's what I'll do! Because if I have to go back to the life I had before I met you then I might as well be dead!" And she spoke with such intensity that it sounded as if she really meant it.

Dale calmed down a bit, trying to suppress his sobbing, without much success. A minute later he replied, "I…am the one who doesn't deserve you…or Gadget…or anyone…and…you think…your heart is breakin'?" He eyed her with anger.

Here, Foxglove realised that the hole in her chest very definitely matched Dale's.

"Figures…" he continued, "I am the biggest klutz in the universe…not only…do I break your heart…I totally pulverize mine…no klutz deserves someone like you…and…and you don't have to go back to your old life, Foxy."

He then looked up into the dark of pre-dawn, as if looking for something.

"Can you hear them?" he asked softly.

"Hear who?"

"Them. The bats. Your people. Your kind. Don't go back to your old life. Start a new one. You said you never hung around other bats, so…go. Go and live with the other bats. Maybe you'll be happier. Maybe you'll find someone…who deserves you."

Foxglove almost had a heart attack and nearly fell off the branch. Half-covering her face with unspeakable horror, even more than what she felt at Fat Cat's, she would have screamed if Dale's request hadn't robbed her of speech.

After a minute of trying to word a response, she finally said, "Oh…no…Dale…no…no! No! NO! NO! NO! No bat sounds the way you do! And I have spent a little time with them, but no bat has what I saw and heard in you!"

"Otis seems like a nice guy," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, not looking at her face.

"For all we know Otis could be my brother!"

"Then GO!" Dale finally locked his eyes with Foxy's as he chattered with unspeakable pain. "Find him! Find your family! Find your past! And…leave me. Leave the klutz. Leave the clown. Leave the comedian. Leave this life of danger. I…am hazardous to your health." He turned aside and commented, "You know, this wouldn't be so painful if we were still enemies."

She shook her head. "Dale, I'm not leaving you. Not now, not ever. Not after I met your parents. You are my family. You and your parents, and the rest of the Rangers! You are my past, present and future!"

The rodent, unfortunately, had made up his mind. Looking at the sky again, he whispered, "Foxy, please. I am askin' you to take a break from danger…from me…and try your life, even for a little bit. Please, you gave me a chance, you believed in me…and I failed you, as I have the others over and over…it has always been my fault, I know that now. With all the love I have for you…I am now givin' you a chance, I am now believin' in you. Please, give yourself a chance now. Find out what you have missed. You may like it better over there…you may like them better…better than me."

Foxglove was about to say something but Dale suddenly embraced her, looked into her eyes with pain and passion, and kissed her very deeply.

You know, Dale has a one-track mind. And I love him for that, too. Once he sets out to do something, he does it, and nothing else…

And she knew he had made up his one-track mind and was saying good-bye.

Finally, he whimpered, while rubbing his cheeks with the batmaid's, "Please, Foxy…just…go. I will miss you, and never forget you. I will keep your ring in case you come back. I…won't use the new room. But if you do find someone else…drop me a line. I will feel better knowin' you are finally out of danger."

With eyes flashing, Foxglove stood and growled, "All right, if that's what you want, Mister Oakmont, then so be it! I will go, but ONLY as a favour to you! And I will spend time with the bats, and I will prove you wrong! And I will come back, and soon, mind you! And the day I come back will be the day you will more than FEEL just how much I love you!"

It was a very strange expression that showed through her eyes: anger, torment, grief, and ecstasy combined.

"You'd better have the room ready, because I might come back by sunset!"

Dale slowly stood, looked into her eyes, and repeated, "So long, Foxy. I love you with all my heart. Please don't ever forget that."

"So long, Dale. You are the only one I have ever loved, or ever will love. And I will come back. Please don't ever forget that."

This time, she embraced him and kissed him deeply. Looking into his damp eyes one more time, also with pain and passion, she echosounded him from top to bottom several times, jumped off the branch, and flew off into the night.

When she was well out of range, a certain heart-disintegrated chipmunk slumped to his knees on the branch, and whispered,

"Good-bye, my wife."

And somewhere high in the night sky, a certain heart-disintegrated bat replied,

"Good-bye, my beloved husband."

For they both knew perfectly well that they would never see each other again.

THE END / DAS ENDE / DIE EINDE / EINDE / EL FIN / O FIN / LE FIN / IL FINE / SFÂRŞIT / KONIEC / КОНЕЦ / BEIGAS / LOPPU / τέλος / סוף / TAMAT / LIAU LIAU / DANEH O' / WAN-LE / OWARIMASU / SLUTT / SLUT / UXUL / TLAMILIZTLI