A/N: Sorry about the long delay. Again. Heh. I have much more homework this year.

Maybe my teachers hate me. Well, whatever the reason, I still haven't updated in a while and that is completely and utterly my fault. So. I'll begin.

Disclaimer: Yay. A disclaimer. And we all know what that means, right? Yes, it's time for all of us to say in chorus, "Lugian does not own Tokyo Mew Mew and she never will in her whole, sad, pathetic life. The End." Good job.

Random Randomness

Chapter 11: Attack of the Giant Squids

An old science movie blared from the kitchen end of the café. "When squids attack," it said in that very familiar and very boring old-movie-guy-with-deep-voice speak.

"Keiichiro, why are you watching this garbage?" asked Mint, sipping her tea and as usual not helping any of the other workers with their closing time cleaning.

"It's not garbage," came the reply. "It's interesting."

Mint sighed. "It's not like that could ever happen anyways," she said.

Which of course was the cue for the Almighty Authoress to make it happen.

Suddenly, a huge green tentacle flew up out of nowhere and wrapped itself around Mint's body. Her tea spilled all over her uniform.

"MY BEAUTIFUL DRESS!" she shrieked, not even caring that a giant squid was whisking her away out the café doors at that very moment.

"MINT NA NO DA!" someone screamed. ((We all know who that was.)) "Zakuro! There's a giant squid and it's whisking Mint away out the café doors at this very moment!" Lettuce screamed.

She had always been the smart one.

Ryou suddenly appeared downstairs wearing a long, silky, slinky red dress. "WHAT ARE WE ALL SCREAMING ABOUT!.?" he screamed.

All the girls' mouths fell open at the sight of Ryou in a dress. It was too much for poor Ichigo. She drooled until that was all that was left of her, just a puddle of drool on the floor.

"Whee!" yelled Ryou as he slid through the drool.

Ew.

Meanwhile, Mint was enjoying a nice discussion and some tea with the giant squid in its house.

"And then, and then I says, I says, 'Well, why not, Leroy? We were meant to be, I just knows it.' And he, he says, 'Well, honestly Marge, you can only take so much.' And me, me, I was flabbergasted, frankly," rambled the giant squid.

Mint nodded politely and took another sip of her tea.

"And so then I says, 'Fine. You go away. But don't youse come cryin' back, 'cause Lordy knows I can't take me 'nother broken heart.' And then he just walked away, without even sayin' a word to me. Jus' like that, I tell ya."

Mint said, "Mmhmm." And then all was silent.

Back at the café, Ryou had changed into some more "proper" attire and was now addressing the situation at hand. "So Mint's missing. Well, she was never much of a help, anyway."

"That's just mean," said Ichigo, who had transformed from a pile of drool into a cute little kitty.

"AWWW!" said Ryou, proceeding to pick the kitty up. It yowled.

"You suddenly can't talk? I can help you with that," he said seductively.

Ryou, relax. This fic is only rated T, and I ain't pushing it any higher for you.

Ryou: Fine. Be that way.

Thank you, I will.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yes...

The kitty growled evilly. Ryou dropped it on the floor and backed off.

The kitty suddenly smiled and began to eat Ryou's shoe lace.

"HEY! Those were expensive!" he shouted.

But the kitty didn't care. Obviously.

So Ryou morphed into Alto and attacked the kitten.

Meows echoed from everywhere.

"Um, Ryou...?" asked Lettuce tentatively. "There's a bit of a...urm...situation going on right now, as I'm sure you're aware of, so I really don't think that now is the time to–"

But she was cut off by Keiichiro, who had driven his '67 Mustang through the café doors, smashing into a table and "killing" about 30 dishes and 10 pieces of silverware. "Girls! Get in the car! WE'RE GOING TO SAVE MINT!"

The girls, all three of them, wanted to stick around and watch the kitty showdown, really, but the power of the coolness of the car led them to it, making it impossible for them not to drive off with Keiichiro.

So that left Ryou and Ichigo alone in the café.

Mua.

Ha.

Ha.

Eventually, the kitty brawl drew to a close because it had lasted 10 minutes and 1 second, therefore Ryou was now Ryou again.

But Ichigo wasn't herself again.

And we all know why.

Ryou looked down at his shoelace. It was tattered horribly. "Oh well. I guess I'll go calculate how many more shoelaces I could buy with my vast fortune IN MY ROOM, WITH THE DOOR CLOSED, AND I'LL PROBABLY BE SITTING ON MY BED, SEEING AS THERE IS NO CHAIR, AND LET ME TELL YOU, THAT IS ONE PLACE WHERE I WANT MY PRIVACY," he said in an overly loud tone seeing as he was talking to himself.

Cat Ichigo growled. Fiercely. Ryou heard the evil growl and ran up the stairs to his room.

Ichigo sighed. She would have to...chase him. Again. The prospect was not satisfying, but maybe she could see him in that dress again... 'AUGH!' thought her kitty self. 'WHAT AM I SAYING?.!' She then scampered up the stairs and stopped at the entrance to Ryou's room, where she could here near continuous clicking. 'That jerk,' she thought. 'He really is calculating his fortune!'

Yet, she waited outside anyway. After all, she couldn't be in this state forever...that would just...suck. So, after about 15 minutes of listening to the clicks, she jumped for the doorknob, turning it with her padded paw.

She pushed the door open just a crack. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, and you're right–There was Ryou, on his bed, with calculator in hand–Ichigo scoffed at this–and he was, of course, because this is fanfiction, and this scenario is cliched, and the Almighty Authoress thinks it's cute, and blah blah blah, and anyway...he was, of course, shirtless.

Ichigo saw this and shrieked loudly. Of course she had been expecting this, but it freaked her out every time...yes, every time.

Ryou turned his head towards the door, saw the cowering little kitty, and said, "Oh look. Little Ichi finally showed up. Aww."

The cat growled more evilly than it had in the past, and as Ryou walked over and picked her up, she hissed at him loudly.

"Don't call you Ichi, I know, I know...Ichi."

The cat leaped onto Ryou's head, tackling him onto the floor, obviously aiming at getting kissed already–I mean, this was going on for way too long–but didn't exactly get what she was hoping for. Well, in way, she did, but in her eyes she was lunging at his head, and in his eyes, she was completely taken over by emotion and had decided she wanted a make-out session. Well, either way worked, because soon "Ichi" was "Ichi" again, Keiichiro and the girls had returned and had all run upstairs to tell stories of Mint who was back and her conversation with the giant squid, etc., etc., when of course they walked in on Ichigo and Ryou (who was, by the way, still not wearing a shirt) making out on the floor of Ryou's room, sitting next to a calculator which had the number 543,824,903 on it ((Those of you with dirty minds...don't worry, I thought of it too...as I punched myself)) and making...noises...which we will not speak any further of.

Needless to say, chaos ensued. Keiichiro ran to the kitchen, ranting about headless muffins, and Mint followed him, seeing as she had no tea in her hand and would therefore die in a matter of minutes. Pudding started balancing plates on her fingers, and soon they all promptly smashed onto Zakuro's head, who screamed loudly, flailing her arms in the air, knocking Pudding over. Lettuce started crying for some unknown reason, and Pudding tried to cheer her up by singing horribly off-key to save her sense of humor. Meanwhile, Ichi and Ryou had jumped out the second-story window and were currently plummeting to the ground with Ryou holding Ichigo bridal style in the air as a baseball bat came flying out of nowhere and knocked them both on the head, turning them both into cats again. Alto's green bandana fell off and he started shrieking horrible noises that no one in the world wanted to hear except Ichigo, apparently, because she started howling, too.

Finally, they both crashed to the ground. The collision caused them both to be turned back into humans. "It was an act of love!" screamed Ichigo at the top of her lungs, then lunged at Ryou, who fell over backwards, causing Ichigo to fall on top of him, and putting them in that awkward position I first mentioned in Chapter 4 of this story, with Ichigo in Ryou's lap and facing him. Well, it was short-lived, because Ichi fell over on top of him and they started snogging all over again and suddenly there was a whole crowd of people with flashing cameras all over this certain Tokyo street and the headline "Superhero Girl Makes Out With Boss" would probably be in all the papers the next day. But Ichigo didn't care because now that she would be living at the café with her boss, she would get to see him in the dress again. YAY!

The End!!

Yeah, that was really stupid...and nearly totally unrelated to the squids...oh well! Send me nice reviews! Or evil ones! Whatever you want! The next chapter might be a funny poem...we'll see what I can do! Oh, and yes, I have a rather sick mind, and if you don't, I'm sorry that I put all these sick-minded things into my story and probably upset you for the rest of your life. I apologize.

Have a good day! And a good week! And a good month! And a good year! And a good decade! And most importantly, have a good life!

The Insane Lugian bids ye farewell.