Disclaimer: Ellie's mine! Nah nah... Everyone else, not mine.
A/N: Another chapter that got away from me. Slight warning for some blood, and some arguing. Also, I think Severus found the perfect insult against Harry in this. Five points to whom ever figures it out. The next chapter will be coming very soon. I'm just having a tough time with a few things, it's is a bit of a personal chapter to write. So for now, enjoy this one and thanks again to all the beautiful reviews and alerts. I'm overwhelmed.
Foolish Games Pt 11
The following days after the notice of Vernon's death had been slow and quiet. Even Ellie had been somewhat subdued. Not that that was as unusual as some would think. Her emotions were still closely tied with those of her papa's. And Harry was certainly feeling a wide array of emotions. He felt as if he had climbed aboard a cursed broom again, whipping him back and forth in a wild ride of boiling agitation. He hadn't been so confused in years, since his pregnancy as a matter of fact. And he knew it would only get worse.
Finally, he could take it no longer and with the deepest of apologies to Severus, returned to his cottage with Ellie on Saturday afternoon. It wasn't ideal, he knew, and he felt more than a little guilt in leaving. Somehow, Severus understood, and said as much.
It should have relieved Harry.
It didn't.
Even with their talk two days before, Harry was tripping on the knife's edge of his feelings. One false move and he was sure he would be cleaved in half, his fears and memories spilling in rich red puddles all around him. He had not elaborated on his past with his relatives, and so Severus only knew what he had seen in their lessons during Harry's fifth year. Those, Severus now felt, were almost like stolen little bits of Harry's soul, not willing given, and not well dealt with. He had been no less than horrid, harsh and cruel to the young boy at that time, reveling in his supposed weakness, laughing at his faults that were brought into sharp relief against a background of past injuries and hate for the man he saw in his student.
He had used such memories as a way to humiliate Harry, casting his problems away as something trite and usual when it had been so far from that. He had been so petty, so ecstatic when presented with what he saw as proof of the boy's arrogance and willful need to break every rule set before him. It was shameful behavior, he knew that now. He, of all people, understood the horrors Harry had to endure. He, more than anyone, could have sympathized with the Gryffindor's need to escape the realities he had to face.
He had not, and now, with the funeral only 24 hours away, he was surrounded with feelings of trepidation and guilt. It occurred to him that the events of the Harry's past were about to crash resoundingly with his present. The spectacular show that was sure to result no longer brought him joy, but rather a sense of anger and protectiveness. No matter what the morrow brought, he would stand beside his little Gryffindor, a rock of shelter and a wave of peacefulness.
And so, it did not hurt when Harry left instead of staying the entire weekend. He understood that the younger man needed some time to come to terms with his own emotions, to prepare himself for what he would be facing the following afternoon. Gone was the reckless boy of Hogwarts. In his stead was a fiery man who had yet to deal with the skeletons in his closet. And without the grounding force of Ellie tomorrow, Harry would have to work extra hard in controlling his emotions.
Still, the silence surrounding the living room after the floo had died down was pressing. Then again, Severus felt like that most times after his little 'family' had returned home. As silly, sentimental and Gryffindor as it sounded, he hoped that there would come a time when he didn't have to watch them go.
Funny how love changes a person.
Time has a funny way of passing when you don't want it to, Harry reflected as he sank into his chair. Ellie, down for her afternoon nap, had whined a little when he had told her they were going back to the cottage. She loved Severus' home just as much as she did her own. Harry in turn, had to admit he too was rather sad to go. But, it was unfair to put Severus through his rapidly changing mood swings. Oh, he was sure the older man would have put up with him. He showed a strange patience not seen in their earlier dealings. It was refreshing, if not a bit hard to get used to.
Tonight, however, Harry didn't want to have that patience directed at him. He was restless, bordering on recklessness, and knew Severus, with the best of intentions, would try to calm him down. And that was something Harry didn't want to feel. He wanted to let the feelings of hatred and anger roll over him, to bathe in the burning desire for returned humiliation. Not that he would do anything tomorrow that could be considered such. He was an adult now and would not sink to such childish reactions. At least not in public. However, in the privacy of his own home, with his daughter safely enclosed in her room, and protective wards set up around the upper half of the house, he did the one thing he hadn't done in years.
He lost control.
Complete and full control over his magic. The wind picked up inside his living room, the windows rattling with the force of a small tornado. Swirling around him, the stiff wind lifted everything off the fireplace mantle, the smaller knick-knacks falling to the ground, smashing spectacularly. Cracks and flashes of lighting erupted around him, striking the walls and singeing the carpet. Furniture, thought to be sturdy, was hurled against walls like boxes of matchsticks, splintering wood and tearing fabric into messy shreds. Pillows he once took pleasure in procuring fell to the floor, their fuzzy innards spilling in a gruesome display from a slasher flick. The noise had picked up to a howling roar. In amidst the chaos, Harry sat, his eyes closed, arms braced and his fists clenched tightly into his thighs. He said not a word, letting the wind and the glass shattering scream away his pain and anger.
Tibby, as smart as she was, knew to stay away. However, when the very foundations of the cottage began to rock, she popped in the room, dodging the flying debris with a shriek. The noise blended in with the rest, lost in the horrible melody of Harry's magical storm. The wild tendrils of magic reached out, striking at the intruder, causing her to land with a wail in her master's lap. Stunned, Harry leaped to his feet, dumping the creature onto the ground, with a yell. His eyes, as wild as the storm around him, rapidly moved over the room, finally alighting on the small elf at his feet. Shocked, he quickly held out a hand, his magic calming in stages, until all that was left was a gentle breeze, and one decimated living room.
"Sorry, Tibby," he mumbled contritely, helping her gain her feet with a sheepish look on his face. He rubbed the back of his neck as she stomped her little feet in irritation, her eyes wide and her ears swiveling.
"Master Harry not supposed to make storms. Master Harry must control his magic," she scolded.
Harry nodded, taking in the entirely of the room. Not a single piece of furniture, with the exception of the chair he had been sitting in, was left in a recognizable form, reduced simply to shreds and splinters of wood. Glass had exploded from the windows, coating every thing. A string of pictures littered the rug, or hung precariously on the walls. In addition, the mantle had been swept clean of all ornaments.
"Fuck," he groaned, burying his head into his shaking hands. He winced as pain bloomed from his side. Looking down, he saw a large shard of glass had embedded itself into his side, wedging in-between his ribs. It wasn't deep enough to pierce his lungs, he assumed, but still something he would need to have checked. The slippery trail of blood flowed from a slice across his cheek, staining the top of his shirt. His arms too bore multiple knicks and scratches. He grimaced in disgust.
"I know, Tibby, and I'm sorry. Is Ellie okay? Did I wake her?" he asked shamefaced, a hint of panic in his tone.
Tibby tutted and shook her head. Her eyes were glued to the growing bloodstain on his side. "No. Mistress Ellie is being sleeping fine. She not hears your storm."
Harry sighed in relief, then bit his lip was the pain grew. "Good. I think I'd better firecall Severus. I can't have this happen tomorrow."
Tibby nodded, her ears flopping. "Master Severus could bind your magic," she suggested.
Frowning deeply, Harry looked at his elf. "Bind my magic? Wouldn't that mean I couldn't use it?" He felt uncomfortable with the idea of his being defenseless.
"No. Master Severus binds Master Harry's magic for the day. Then gives it back later." She swept a hand over the room. "No storm, no mess tomorrow," she concluded.
"A day bind?" Harry questioned. He had never heard of such a thing. "I thought magic binding is permanent."
Tibby shook her head. "Only if it is the wish of the caster and the wizard being bound. Many types of bind for many things. Many ways too."
Shaking his head as dizziness began to push against his senses; he waved his hand to Tibby. "Thanks, Tibby. Could you hand me the floo powder from the kitchen?" he requested as he sat down heavily in his remaining chair. He grimaced; thinking of what Severus would say when he saw the condition of Harry's house. "I'm so controlled," he muttered in derision. "Right."
Jar in hand, Tibby popped back into the room, handing her burden to Harry. Harry nodded his thanks, and then threw a handful into the fire. He watched as the flames turned green, waiting for his friend to answer. Moments later, the frowning man's face appeared, a brow raised in question.
"Harry?" he questioned. "Did you need something?"
"Do you have a moment?" Harry asked a bit breathlessly, struggling against the sharp slice of pain still pricking his side.
Severus' eyes narrowed as he saw the crimson streak highlighting Harry's pale face. Even in the green flames, his friend looked distressed and paler than normal. "What happened?" he asked, a bit of worry in his tone.
Harry held up his hand, trying to show the older man that he was fine. "Nothing to worry about, right now. I just need to ask you to do something for me."
Suspicious, Severus leaned forward, attempting to see more. "I'm not incapacitated at the moment. I'll come through," he said tersely, knowing something was off about the younger man. Harry shifted his eyes away, and bit his bottom lip, before nodding.
"Alright," he agreed, wondering why he had asked him again. There was a sizzle and a pop, and then Severus stood in the room, brushing his robes off with his hands, before turning his attention to the man sitting in a chair. His eyes widened in shock as he witnessed the quickening breathing of his friend and the darkening red spreading across his side.
He dropped to his knees quickly, swatting Harry's hands away and lifting the younger man's shirt. He frowned as he took in the large gash and protruding glass shard sticking out from the gold kissed skin. "What happened?" he growled out, lifting his blacker than black eyes to the hazed green ones.
Harry shook his head, then groaned. "It's nothing. A scratch," he mumbled. "A bloody painful scratch, but nothing to worry about."
"Nothing to worry about?" Severus exclaimed loudly. He stood rapidly, stumbling as he finally saw the rest of the room. "Harry, what the hell happened here?" he cried, in a rare show of anxiety. The room, to his eyes, looked as if a pack of Death Eaters had come through. "Who did this?"
Harry said nothing, a small groan coming from his lips. Drawing Severus' attention back to the injured man, he caught the look of shame in Harry's face.
"Harry," he grounded out warningly. "Who did this?"
"I did," Harry murmured.
"You?" Severus repeated dumbly.
"Yeah."
"You destroyed your house?"
"No, just the living room," Harry responded with a gasp.
Severus quickly snapped out of his shock, remembering the bleeding gash on Harry side, and the cut littering the rest of his upper body. "Stay there, I'll be right back," he commanded quietly. His voice edged with worry and barely constrained anger, sounded razor sharp. Harry's head lolled to the side in a half nod. There was a whoosh of green flame and then quiet descended on the room, save for Harry's labored breathing and Tibby's anxious twittering. She fluttered about the room, trying to set things to right again.
The tension that filled the air became almost suffocating as soon as Severus arrived back in the demolished room. His face set and pale, he knelt next to Harry again, hissing as he examined the wound. "Of all the imbecilic things, Potter. This one does beat all." He removed several vials from his pockets, setting them on a transfigured table next to him. "I need to remove your shirt," he growled, helping the younger man sit forward.
Harry moved sluggishly, biting his lip as he felt the fabric lifted off him.
"What possessed you to do something so completely asinine?" Severus snarled out, his teeth clenched as the wound began to seep blood again. He quickly pressed a flannel against the wound, and handed a vial of pain potion to Harry. Harry took it without comment, his eyelids fluttering with pain. He did not even make a face at the terrible taste filling his mouth, choosing to look away from the hard eyes of the Potions Master.
"Harry…"
"I lost control," Harry's words snaked out from his tightly pressed lips, his eyes slamming shut as Severus prodded the skin. "Damn it Snape, just pull the damn thing out."
"I can't, you bloody fool," Severus countered. "I'm not sure how deep it is."
"It's not that deep. Not enough to hit a lung or something."
Severus shook his head. "There are more things that can be damaged than a lung. Hold still." He waved his wand quickly, and shook his head again as the results. "You're a lucky fool, Harry. You managed to miss anything vital."
"That's good," Harry breathed out, the pain a fire burning in his body. The pain potion had dulled it somewhat, but the heat was still there. He winced again as Severus moved his hands over his skin.
"I'll remove the glass and stitch you up. And then you will explain to me just what occurred here," Severus said, his tone brooking no argument. Too tired to fight, Harry simply nodded. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed a hold of the chair's arm, his fingers biting into the wood and fabric, his knuckles white. It had been years since he had done something so stupid, and as a result, ended up in this amount of pain.
Slamming his eyes shut, he tensed, trying his hardest not to thrash when he felt the slide of the glass exit his body. Warm fingers gently smoothed some salve over the torn edges of his skin, and a mumbled spell had the wound knitting back together. Cool bandages covered the area and gauze was wrapped around, just to ensure the completion of the healing process. Spells worked wonders most of the time, but it was always best to take precautions. Gasping at the tingling feeling radiating from the injured site he took a few shallow breaths, waiting for his heart to settle down before opening his eyes again.
Severus still sat beside him, his face drawn. He handed Harry another vial. "Blood Replenishing," he told him. Harry nodded and downed the potion. "You may have not lost a fatal amount of blood, but it was a sufficient quantity. Where's Ellie?" Severus asked, realizing quite suddenly that the little one was not in the room, thankfully.
"Napping upstairs." Harry sighed and tipped his head back. His eyes focused on the ceiling, now sporting deep cracks. He frowned. That would be a bit harder to fix.
"Care to explain to me what exactly took place here?" Severus' hard voice broke through his examinations. Harry kept his eyes above him, resting one hand on his thigh, the other wrapped around his still naked middle.
"I told you, I lost control. I made sure the rest of the house was warded. So no harm done, really. Everything is repairable after all," he said, the shrug apparent in his voice. A few repairing spells and everything would be back to normal, he knew.
This however did little to pacify the now streaming older man. His eyes flashed as a glare crossed his face. Flicking his gaze around the room once again, he took note of each and every bit of damage. It was almost unbelievable that the house still stood.
"You lost control," Severus repeated in a deadly whisper.
Harry huffed. "Yeah. I was angry and tired and I lost it. Sometimes, you just lose it. Everybody does."
Severus stared at him blankly. "Everyone, yes. You are not everyone, or need I remind you? You are different from the typical Malfoy or Weasley, are you not? You have an astonishing amount of wild magic. Power that must be tightly leashed at all times. Unlike those idiots, you cannot afford just to lose all control. Do you have even an inkling of what you have done? Could have done? Are you really that stupid?" He held up his hand, cutting off Harry's response. "No, don't answer that. The proof is all too obvious. I thought that maybe, maybe you had finally outgrown this recklessness of yours, the blatant disregard you have shown for your life. I can see now that I gave you far too much credit. "
Harry's eyes were green molten lava, pouring out his irritation at being spoken to thus. "So we're back to that, are we? I'm an arrogant child again. Next I suppose you'll be telling me how much I'm acting like my father!" Harry shouted, springing to his feet. The pain shot through him briefly, and he wrapped both of his arms around his bare torso.
"No, because unlike you Potter, your father at least had the decency to think of his child first. For once, you have surpassed James Potter in irresponsibility. Did you even consider what might have happened had the wards not held, if your tantrum had reached Ellie?" Severus spat back.
Harry flinched violently. He hadn't really taken that all into consideration, taking for granted that his spell work would hold, and focusing on his own selfish need to lash out. Had anything happened to Ellie…His face crumbled into an expression of desperation, his energy sapped. With unsteady legs, he fell back into his seat. Severus had stood, packing away his supplies and moving towards the Floo. The silence descending was heavy, the air crackling with tension.
"Help me, please," Harry whispered, pleading.
Severus stopped in his tracks, his face a frozen mask of anger. Frustration burned beneath his skin. He was almost tempted to wash his hands of the matter, leaving the broken man to fix his mistakes. Nevertheless, as he had found happening more often than not over the past few years, he could not ignore the summons Harry inflicted upon his heart.
Turning back around, he rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. "I'm not sure I can, Harry," he said truthfully. "I understand fully that you are under an intense amount of emotional stress. But this," he gestured to the destroyed room, "was not only reckless, but extremely dangerous. You were injured, and had that glass been farther in, we would be dealing with a whole other matter. Losing control like this, especially knowing what damage your magic can do if let run wild, is negligent." He watched as the emotions flickered across Harry's pale and drawn face. There was such a deep look of hopelessness in his eyes that Severus had to turn away. "Do you realize what happened here? What could happen if you allow yourself to fall like this again? Can you bear the guilt of harming another person because your emotions broke the bonds of your magic?"
Harry shook his head, hanging it down low and fisting his hands until the bones stood out under taunt white skin. "No. No, Severus," he replied, the full weight of what he had done crashing down around him. He heard the laughter of his daughter pour down the stairs. Ellie was up, and he knew Tibby would keep her occupied for a few moments longer. The sound was like salt on his wounds.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, burying his face in his hands. Silent sobs wracked his frame.
The sight softened Severus' stern features and he made his way back over to the silent anguished young man. Placing a hand on his shaking shoulder, he knelt before him, using his other hand to guide Harry's face towards his. His lips pressed softly into the silky unruly hair, his hand coaxingly stroking over the healing cheek, wiping away the lingering tears. "I don't want to lose you, Harry," he confessed quietly. "And I could have. You were fortunate beyond compare today. You might not be the next time. What would Ellie do without you?" he paused, his voice cracking. "What would I do?"
Harry pressed his face into the scarred crook of Severus' neck, his breaths coming in slightly erratic puffs. He placed his hand over Severus' and held on tight. "I'm sorry," he repeated, the words mumbled wetly against Severus' flesh.
"I know you are," Severus conceded, holding back a shiver. "And I apologize as well. I should have made sure you had your emotions under control before I allowed you to leave. That part is my burden to bear."
Ellie's squeals and shouted words interrupted for a moment. Harry smiled softly, pressing his lips against the scars. Severus' breath hitched, pulling Harry's head around for a kiss. They took their time, focusing on drawing comfort from each other's lips, forgetting their surroundings. Severus' long fingers tangled in Harry's hair, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. His tongue trace the seam of Harry's lips, requesting entrance. Harry's eyes fluttered closed, granting it and lost himself in the silent declarations Severus was making with his lips and tongue.
A rather loud pop brought them both back down to earth, the loss felt acutely by both. They pulled apart, although Severus remained by Harry's side. Harry looked up at Tibby who stood anxiously with his daughter. Ellie's smile reflected her almost neon yellow hair and she held out her arms to her papa. Harry, with a brief regretful look, stood, untangling his hand from Severus'. He calmly took Ellie into his arms, cuddling her tightly against his chest. All lingering chaotic feelings died instantly. He closed his eyes, breathing in her sweet baby scent from her curls with contentment.
Ellie giggled and squirmed, causing Harry to open his eyes again. His emeralds focused on Severus, and for once, the older man basked in the deep look of Harry's loving affection. It was a look usually reserved for Ellie; so bearing the full brunt of his gorgeous expression was breath taking, literally. Severus took a few moments, his breath caught as he acknowledged and accepted what Harry was offering silently. They shared a moment of complete agreement before Harry turned away.
"I need to clean up in here, Tibby. Could you get a light snack for Ellie?" he asked.
The house elf nodded, reclaiming the small child with an air of importance. It was rather adorable in an odd way. Harry watched them leave before facing Severus again. "Thank you," he said quietly, already beginning the repairs to the room.
Severus moved his wand around, the furniture pulling their pieces back together again. "I'm always here, Harry. I would think you would know that by now."
"I do," Harry replied. "I just need reminders once in a while, I guess."
They worked in silence for a few minutes, observing somewhat interestedly as the room began to take on its original semblance. "You requested my presence here for a reason, I believe. And I assume it was not to patch you up, nor your house," Severus finally said.
Harry paused in his work, casting a look over his shoulder to his partner. "I want you to bind my magic."
Severus stumbled slightly, his face open with surprise. "Bind your magic?" It occurred to him that he had been answering a fair few of Harry's statements with less than his usual eloquence. "You cannot be seriously contemplating this, Harry."
"I am. It would only be for a day. Tomorrow to be specific. I don't want what happened today to happen at the funeral. You're right, you know. I might have hurt someone, and still could," Harry explained.
"You did, idiot," Severus growled out, although his words were without sting. "Or have you already forgotten the shard of glass I pulled from your body an hour ago?"
Harry shook his head. "You know what I meant. Tibby said there was a way to bind me for a day. She said you could do it."
Severus moved the last repaired picture onto the wall. "I can. I know of a potion that will, while not completely restricting all your magic, put a damper on it and adjust it to a very low level. It is not recommended, for obvious reasons. You would be rendered almost completely vulnerable to magical attacks."
"I figured as much," Harry said, with a shrug. "But we will be with Muggles tomorrow. I'm not too worried about some Neo-Death Eater, or whatever, attacking me there." He cracked a small grin. "Besides, I'll have you with me. What better protection could I ask for?"
"Brat," Severus said with affection. "Alright. I will brew the potion. It will be done by tomorrow morning."
Harry pocketed his wand, glancing around the room with a satisfied nod. Striding over to the taller man, he stood before him, a shy smile on his face. "Thank you, again," he spoke softly, pulling the man down to him, his lips locking on Severus' again. The kiss was short, but sweet, and full of promise. Severus wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling him to his chest in an unusual protective hug. Still a snide and sometimes cold man, his body and heart had no choice but to warm and melt when Harry did things like this. So he gave into his want, accepting the embrace and closing his eyes in a rare show of contentment.
They stood like that for a few moments, each enjoying the peace they felt with the other. With a deep sigh, Severus pulled back, dropping his arms. "If I am to begin the potion, I will need to return home." He gazed down at Harry. "Can I be assured of your well-being for the remainder of the night?"
Harry stepped back, nodding. "I'll be good," he promised. "I'll just get some dinner, and probably put Ellie and I to bed." He gave Severus a reassuring smile. "Don't worry."
Severus picked up a handful of floo powder. "I do, brat. You give me plenty of reasons to do so," he countered, his face serious, but his eyes lit with a teasing look. "I'll return in the morning. Please refrain from conjuring any more storms tonight. I don't relish the idea of digging you out before the funeral."
Harry's laughter sounded, following his through the Floo. On the other side, Severus indulged in a smile, relieved that Harry would be okay.
The rest of the evening settled into a peaceful order for Harry and Ellie. Dinner was simple and light, Harry's appetite having taken leave earlier. Although his magic was dulled to a slight roar now, his stomach felt the queasiness associated with blooming stress. He nodded his thanks to Tibby when she placed a salad before him, her ears drooping slightly.
"Alright there, Tibby?" he asked curiously, cutting Ellie's chicken into small pieces. She delightedly waved around her sippy cup in an effort to make its contents take flight. Patiently, Harry took it from her, much to her chagrin. She poked out a pouty lip and gave her papa puppy dog eyes. Harry laughed and ruffled her curls affectionately, and earned a smile.
"Master Severus will bind Master Harry tomorrow?" Tibby asked, picking up Ellie's banished fork.
Harry frowned then nodded. "Yes. He said there was a potion he could make that would allow me to bind my magic for the day. He'll give it to me before we leave tomorrow."
"'Eeeeveee…" Ellie screeched out with a giggle. Her hair turned a flaming orange.
"Yeah, Ellie. Leave. Blast!" Harry exclaimed. "I forgot to call Hermione."
"Miknee," Ellie burbled. She tossed her cup to the floor, and then laughed again as it returned immediately to the tray. Thus began a new game, much to the dismay of Tibby, who fluttered and sputtered about.
"Ellie, stop," Harry commanded, his tone firm. Ellie did so immediately. "Thank you," he acknowledged with a smile and kiss.
"Mistress Weasley has not called today," Tibby informed him, not understanding his worry.
Harry shook his head and stood. "No, she wasn't supposed to. I was going to see if she could watch Ellie tomorrow for me." He paused a moment, weighing his options. While Hermione was his usual babysitter, on the very rare occasion that Harry required one, she might not be the best choice in light of his current situation. He waved his hand as if to clear the air around him. "Think I'll call up Andy instead. Less drama," he mumbled, giving his daughter a fond pat before trudging over to the fireplace in the adjacent room.
"Andromeda Tonks," he called out. The flames flared green and his godson grandmother's face popped into sight.
"Harry, goodness. It has been a while. When are you coming to dinner, Hun?" she asked with affection.
Harry's lips stretched into a big grin. "Tomorrow night, if you'll let me," he replied.
"That would be just fine." She then gave him an appraising look. "You look haggard, dear."
"I've been, well busy. And having a rough time of it." He found himself confessing to Andy without provocation more often than not. She had a quality about her that made him think of Molly Weasley, without the rather overbearing attitude.
She nodded. "You need a break, Harry," she said. "I could take Ellie for the day tomorrow."
Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Truly, this woman was a gem. "Could you? I was calling to ask if you would. I have some family business to take care of, and it would be best if she wasn't there."
Andy's eyes turned shrewd. "Family, as in those people some call relatives?" she asked, a hard tone in her voice.
"Yeah. My uncle died and my aunt er…requested that I be there," he revealed.
Clicking her tongue, Andy scowled. "Awful people." Then she looked at him with concern. "Surely you aren't going on you own?"
From just about anyone else, that statement would have offended Harry. But with Andy, he knew she was simply worried about his emotional state, and not his inability to deal with a pack of heinous Muggles on his own. So he simply offered her a soft sigh and a smile. "Severus is going with me. And we are doing a day-bind to my magic for tomorrow."
She seemed to relax at that, he face finally allowing a smile to form. "Good. He's good for you, you know."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I know. He's probably more than I will ever deserve. I'm not sure why he bothers, really. I'm even more surprised at how little he shows his temperamental attitude any more."
Shaking her head with a knowing look, Andy huffed. "You really can't see it?" she asked.
Harry flushed and looked away. Andy understood and said nothing more about it. Let those two come to an understanding in their own time. She knew it would happen soon. And when it did, she hoped that the fates would finally allow them peace.
"I'll come by around ten tomorrow morning," Harry said, breaking their brief silence.
"That sounds just fine. Teddy will be glad to see you both. He's sorely missed you as of late," Andy chastised.
"I miss the little runt too. Tell him goodnight for me, would you?" he requested.
"Of course. Take care, Harry. And get some sleep. You look like you need it."
"I won't argue with you there," Harry said with a wave. The connection closed. Harry sat there a few moments longer, watching as the flames died down to a small flicker. He didn't want to think about the events the next day would bring. The whole thing brought bitterness into his mouth and a burn in his gut. Shoving his magic back down, he stood, ready to finish Ellie's bedtime ministrations before hopefully falling into bed and getting some much needed rest.
Sleep's twice-damned mistress however, had other ideas. She seemed determined to flirt with the sharp edges of Harry's consciousness. Pulling in for a quick kiss, then flippantly disappearing, only to tease once again with flashes of leg, and longing sighs. Harry, groaning harshly, punched at his pillow for the fourth time in a row, flopping back against it in exasperation. He was utterly exhausted, drained beyond all measure and still could not find the lasting relief of sleep he so desperately sought.
It was maddening. Hazy half-remembered memories of his childhood floated through his mind, calling out to him, begging that their pain and anger be released. He knew it was a simple trick of his muddled mind, and his violent wild magic. It preferred to be lashing out, wailing when it was caged as Harry had done so presently. A repeat of the night's earlier events was not something Harry wanted to see. So he clutched that blacken leash and held tight as Severus had told him to do. The wild magic snapped and burned raging fire inside his body and mind, but he held fast.
However, while the internal struggle he fought served to tire him physically, it did not give him leave to drift away into sleep. With a cry of irritation, Harry stomped into his bathroom and rifled around in his cabinet. Finally, a single cool vial of wistful liquid touched his fingers and he clutched at it like a drowning man. He quickly popped the top and downed vile potion, feeling the sleepiness take over almost immediately. He hadn't taken the Dreamless Sleep potion for over a year now. And he was loathed to take it now, considering his earlier dependence on the stuff. But desperate times…
He sighed heavily as he sank down into his bed, glorious oblivion soon following. His sleep, while dreamless, was restless still. So it followed that when the morning dawned, Harry felt annoyed and drained of any gracious emotion. He was ever grateful that Ellie would not be subjected to him and his mood today. He was sure it would not improve over the course of the day.
Enduring a shower that was hotter than it should be, and a self-depreciating look in the mirror, he hurriedly dressed in a worn trousers and a pull over. Experience dictated that he not dress nicely until after the morning meal with Ellie. While a gracious and somewhat graceful child, she was still just a toddler, and apt to throw her food when the mood struck her. Which it did, often. Shield spells and bubbles helped contain her mess, but Harry, in the vain attempt at calming his storm of a daughter, was trying to train her to behave, and had since banned the use of shields.
Much to the lament of his rather nice white shirt and favorite pair of jeans. There were some things even a scourgify spell could not remove, apparently.
Harry sighed and ran a hand through his tousled and still dripping hair. He plucked up his glasses, settling them on his face and snarled at his reflection. He was glad, not for the first time, that he had a simple Muggle mirror, not one of those charmed atrocities that spouted annoying statements. Draco had required one when they were together, no doubt to boost his already overtly inflated ego. Harry hated the damn thing, its insults just as barbed about his appearance as it had been complementary about Draco's.
With another growl and a shake of his head, Harry banished such reminiscing, shutting the bathroom door with more force than necessary. The sweet squeals of Ellie and the deep baritone of Severus told him his household was already in the process of moving forwards with the day. Harry wanted to crawl back into bed and pretend the day was over.
Shoving such gloomy thoughts into the back of his mind, he walked down the stairs, pausing just outside the kitchen. Propping his hip against the entryway, he shoved his hands in his pockets, and watched the scene before him silently. Severus sat on a bar stool, Ellie's high chair pulled up close to his seat and the island. He was feeding her bits of eggs and toast while she waved around her cup again. Her movements reminded Harry of a cartoon he had seen a tiny bit of when he was younger. She appeared to be conducting an orchestra with outlandish arm sweeps.
Severus, Harry observed, weaved his arm around hers, planting her food into her giggling mouth with an air of patience, Harry would not think the stoic man had in him. He was vastly different from the repressed and harsh Professor of Harry's school years. At least in this kind of familiar atmosphere. Out amongst the masses, Snape was still Snape.
However, here…
Harry shook his head. Here it was utopia. Unreal in most eyes, but still a brilliant reality to them. And he loved it, every minute of it. A calming sense of peace stole over him, soothing the raw edges of his frazzled nerves. He could do this. He could make it through the day, do what he had to do and move on. Finally.
"Desist, you giggling fiend," Severus snapped, although his voice was filled with warning fondness. Ellie had managed to swipe Severus large hooked nose with her little fork on its way to the floor. He grabbed at her cup that was trying to follow.
Harry chuckled, stepping into the room. "Ellie, darling. Sev doesn't need to be included in your rendition of 'Twinkle, Twinkle."
Ellie waved her arms at her papa. "Up, 'lease," she begged, her smile aglow with grape jelly. Harry washed her face gently before lifting her into his arms. He snuggled her close, peeking through her now snow white and blue streaked hair at Severus. The older man was calmly cleaning his hands with a slight smirk. As irritated as he would like to appear, Harry knew he was somewhat amused by Ellie's breakfast antics. He caught Severus' dark eyes. The older man frowned, taking in his counterparts appearance. Harry shook his head in silent answer to his silent question. The frown deepened briefly before Severus nodded. Harry knew he was unhappy with how Harry looked, but could not do anything about it at present.
"Nice of you to join us, Mr. Potter," he said in a smug tone, reminiscent of other, not so fond days.
Harry gave him a smart-arsed look and sat down on the stool next to him. Tibby placed a plate in front of him and Harry juggled Ellie to his lap as he took a bite. "What? No points taken? No detention?" Harry shot back, his eyes dancing.
Severus chuckled, shaking his head."Today will be punishment enough," he replied, breaching the topic bluntly.
Even though he was used to Severus' snarkiness, the subject of their event later that day was not something he readily wanted to discuss. Severus, however, wouldn't allow Harry to put it off.
Glaring, Harry tried not to wince. "For me or you?" he asked, still trying to keep things light. Severus simply shrugged, giving Harry a knowing look. Harry flushed under the appraising look. "I'll be okay," he assured the quiet man.
Severus raised a brow to show his doubt. "That remains to be seen," was his reply. "The potion is finished. You should take it after you are done with your meal. It's best to take it on a full stomach." Harry nodded. Severus cupped his hands around his coffee mug, lacing his stained fingers together. "Have you called Hermione?"
"No. I asked Andy instead," Harry told him. Severus gave him a look, and he squirmed around a bit. "Less drama. I didn't want some speech from Hermione about controlling my temper, or how this might be a good way to patch things up. If anything, it is only an obligation."
"Indeed," was Severus' reply.
Harry tensed. He hated it when Severus adopted that word and tone. "I'm not hiding," he snapped.
"I do not recall saying you were. I was merely wondering if that was all you wished to accomplish today," the older man said evenly.
"What else would I want?" Harry snorted. "I certainly don't have expectations of reconciling with them, or something stupid like that."
"Then what expectations do you have?"
"To be treated as they always have, with hate, fear and derision. What else?"
"Might you see this as a chance to prove them wrong? Perhaps, a way to move on?" Severus countered wisely.
Harry blushed, thinking of his earlier thoughts. Had he not decided the same thing? He bobbed his head, his hair falling into his eyes. A warm hand settled on his neck, massaging it softly. Ellie, curious at the conversation between the two adults, sat still for once. Her eyes were wide with a look of innocence that pained Harry's heart. Had his eyes ever looked like that? He shoved away his plate and wrapped his arms around her small body.
"Yeah, maybe. But Hermione would want me to forgive them, probably. And I'm not ready to do that, maybe never will."
Severus, maintaining his light touches on the back of Harry's neck, nodded. "I would be a much lesser man if I spouted off hypocritical dribble about forgiving and forgetting. They dealt you a great deal of wrongs; you have a right to withhold your good graces. Just as long as that path doesn't affect your soul in the long run."
Harry grimaced, then stood. Placing Ellie on the floor, he rolled his shoulders and winced. "Merlin. Severus, I could use a bit more of those magic fingers," he joked, then paused as the Potions Master's cheeks tinged lightly with pink. Severus made a show of straightening his shirt and brushing off his pants, all the while allowing his black curtain of hair to hide his face.
It was adorable, if not a bit odd. Harry simply shrugged silently, not wishing to antagonize the man. "I'm going to go change, and then you can give me that potion before we drop Ellie off at Andy and Teddy's." Not waiting for an answer, he went back up to his room, intent on analyzing Severus' reaction at a later time. For now, he had to mentality prepare himself for the hell he was willing walking back into.
He must be bloody mental.
A/N: Next up... the funeral, and further confrontations with family, Dumbledor and the past. And perhaps more bonding between our two?
Ellie's hair colors:
Bright neon yellow: Extreme joy
Orange: Demanding attention
Snow white and blue streaked: peaceful calmness
Till next time! Enjoy!