Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, and as such not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.
Shadows of a Nightmare Future - Chapter 11
I thought I`d become dull to the pain. The many years of constant loss taking their inevitable toll on me, yet with each new addition the burden became easier to bare. However, as I watch the man known as Sasuke Uchiha pass by without so much as a cursory glance in our direction, I find myself overcome with a powerful compulsion. One that would see me throw away all my well laid plans and give chase, damning the consequences.
A part of me knows that it is the consequences of my mergence with my younger self that is the source of these thoughts. Indeed, in this moment it's as if all the pain I ever associated with that man has come flooding back as fresh as the day they were inflicted upon me. However try as I might I can't seem to escape their monstrous pool as my darkest memories overwhelm my psyche. A situation that becomes all the more difficult to bare as the day Sasuke took a dear friend from us forces itself to the forefront of my mind. A memory that holds is one of my greatest regrets and source`s of guilt. The day Sasuke severed his bond with Naruto in the Honnouji Mountains.
FLASHBACK
"You must be getting desperate if you're wasting time destroying incidental foundries Naruto." Came a cold voice, the foundries echo creating qualities making it difficult to pinpoint its origin. Nevertheless, I frantically scanned my environment in the desperate hope of discerning the mocking voices source, knowing all too well whom it belonged too.
A moment later my fears were confirmed as Sasuke with crimson eyes blazing materialised out of the shadows in front of us, Sakura following in his wake. Her face blank but her eyes showing the maelstrom of conflicting emotions that the war had sparked upon meeting Naruto`s gaze.
Unthinkingly, Naruto moved ahead. Shielding us from Sasuke`s intense stare.
Following my natural instincts, I begun plotting a battalions worth of stratagems that would hopefully escape this encounter. Yet, to my own reluctant annoyance I ceased my futile efforts knowing full well that Sasuke had left all but Naruto`s level long ago. Indeed, when it became clear that Naruto was showing signs of hesitation when it came to their battles I had attempted, with a crack team of available ninja, to remove Sasuke from play.
"All that preparation for nothing." I brooded with a mixture of guilt and anger, the memory of my attempt still a source of egret for me. For months I had studied the way Sasuke fought intensively; leaving shadow clones behind to observe and fight Sasuke in the hopes of gathering as much data as possible. However, despite my agonising level of preparation the operation became an unmitigated disaster, "And I call myself a strategist, someone who prides themselves on reading the enemy. What a joke. I should have known that Sasuke only ever shows his true strength when it comes to Naruto."
Every weakness I observed, every flaw I uncovered, every limitation I discovered was nothing more than his way of toying with those who he deemed unworthy to face him. My arrogance costing the lives of all but a few of those I had brought with me to spring my ill-fated ambush. As much as it pained me to admit, Naruto`s claim that only he could fight Sasuke were unarguable correct.
"Sasuke, what are you doing here?" Came Naruto`s opening salvo, breaking me away from my strategising, "Couldn't wait to have your butt kicked so you decided to track me down yourself?"
The raven haired Uchiha appeared unperturbed, replying unemotionally. "The only reason I haven't defeated you yet is because you keep holding back against me Naruto. When I defeat you I want your best, but you keep insististing on holding back..." He paused before running his cold eyes over our party, lingering ever so slightly on Hinata and myself. His lips quirked up slightly as he continued sinisterly,"….despite my best attempts to kill those closest to you."
Naruto let out a guttural growl, stepping forward protectively with an enraged shout, "Your fight is with me Sasuke, leave them out of this!"
Smirking, seemingly pleased with getting a rise out of Naruto, he responded, "You know what I want. You and your band of rebels are the only thing holding back the eternal peace I wish to usher in. They are as guilty as you are for delaying the inevitable, but I will ignore them for now if you just fight me without reservation Naruto."
Our leader's shoulders tensed for a moment before going slack. With a calm but resigned voice Naruto agreed to Sasuke`s terms, "Alright Sasuke you win. Let's finish this once and for all." Shooting forward he spared a moment to stare intently at me, a stare that reminded me of an unfortunate promise I had made to him not too long ago.
"Damn it I'm going to be so much trouble for this."I groaned mentally, knowing how troublesome she would be before calling out reluctantly,"Shadow Possession Jutsu." In an instant my shadow shot out from beneath me and connected to Hinata in mid attempt to spring forward in aid of the troublesome blonde.A dirty look is all I receive; knowing all too well why I had stopped her.
However, a moment later we both seemingly recall at the same time that we were not alone. Simultaneously both our concerned gazes darted away from each other and towards the Kunoichi standing awkwardly in front of us. Meeting our questioning stares, Sakura shifted uncomfortable on the spot, her sad eyes speaking volumes of the conflict within. Most importantly however she seemed content to just stand there, making no motion to run after them or engage us.
"Sasuke told me not to interfere no matter what." The pinkette began seriously, turning her back on us to observe the two figures in the distance destroying the landscape, "He didn't say anything about you guys so I won't do anything if you don't ok."
Being acutely aware of her true motivations I responded with a quick "Fine by me" and turned my attention to the maelstrom of destruction that was ahead of us. It was difficult for my eyes keep up with the destruction that Naruto and Sasuke were unleashing on the innocent mountain range. Indeed, the battle was as vicious as it was awe inspiring as they seemingly warped around their make shift battleground. Two titans battling with everything they had, on a level we could never hope to reach.
`Rasengan`s` countered `Chidori`s`, monstrous summons smashed against one another, Sasuke`s `Susanoo` destroyed by a `Rasenshuriken`, Naruto`s `Sennin` and `Nine-Tails` chakra modes clashing against the powers of the Uchiha`s Rinnegan.
Yet, despite my difficulties following what was happening, I could see openings form on many occasions that Naruto simple did not take. "Why?" A question I demanded of him many times in the past. The reason being that despite all Sasuke had unleashed, Naruto had fought him with a degree of hesitation in all their encounters. A fact I admit was a point of bitter contention between him and me. The simple truth being that I could never understand why Sasuke warranted such restraint even before this mess.
He had been arrogant, insular and regarded himself as superior to Naruto and Sakura while in the same team. Then when Sasuke felt that his own abilities were not growing fast enough he abandoned their bond, as Naruto often called their friendship. Selfishly abandoning the village he put the lives of others in danger as well as nearly ending Naruto`s life personally for daring to get in his way.
After that my questions became driven by even more confusion when three years later Sasuke`s first instinct upon being reunited was to try to kill Naruto once more. Later he displayed how merciless he had become when he attempted to end Sakura`s life when she hesitated to dispatch Karin in cold blood.
"His international crimes aside how could they even like him on a personal level after that."I questioned pointlessly as I braced myself against the resulting shock wave of a distant explosion, the answer to my conundrum never forthcoming, "Even before his troublesome defection I wonder if they really knew what their insular team-mate was truly like."
However, the true crux of my distaste for the man emerged when I became privy to his actions after the fight with Kaguya during the fourth war. Actions that would have lead to a new world order being imposed by Sasuke and paid for with Naruto`s death if he had been successful.
"How could you guys forgive him after all that?" I had asked of the former Team 7 when I had learned the truth. Yet, much of what they said boiled down to their bond forged as part of team seven and a genuine belief he had changed. However, Naruto`s main reason was most poignant.
"To end the cycle of hatred, someone has to take the first step." He had said with wear resignation one day after I brought it up, having evidently lost his patience with my badgering, "I'm choosing to make that step." I couldn't bring myself to argue further after that. Even despite my own misgiving and the fact that relations with the lands of Iron and Lighting were strained for years to come thanks to Sasuke`s pardon, "As troublesome as it was, I needed to believe in Naruto`s ideal. The alternative was the same world that had set Sasuke on the path of the avenger in the first place and that simply was not acceptable anymore."
Sadly time proved that although the ideal was one worth striving for, it like all such things needed to be bent from time to time to insure its survival. Unfortunately for Naruto, Sasuke now and in the past is the threat to the ideals survival. "I just wish you would recognise that and stop trying to save him." Watching on grimly, my brooding came to an end as I witnessed Naruto pull back his wind enhanced kunai at the last second, mere inches away from the Uchiha`s throat.
"Damn it Naruto you can't afford to hold back!" I exclaim angrily, tired of seeing another opportunity to end this foul war slip by. "You know he wouldn't do the same for you!"
Fulfilling my prophecy, a fatigued looking Sasuke used the opening to deliver a swift kick to Naruto`s stomach before bathing him in an `Amaterasu`. Thankfully to my eternal relief Naruto managed to swap out with one of his clones, but not before his right arm had been enveloped by the black flames. To my grim acceptance Naruto severed the blazing appendage from his body, saving himself from being completed consumed by the ravenous flames.
However, the stress from his culminated injuries must have proved too much for him to bear any longer as I saw Naruto drops to his knees. Realizing the danger he was in, I released my hold of Hinata and as a pair raced forward before being pushed back by a wall of dark flames.
"Naruto!" I heard Hinata shout beside me, her voice thick with fear and frustration.
"I've grown tired of our battles ending in a stalemate." Came Sasuke`s cold voice through the flames, "You can retrieve him in a moment once this is finally settled."
Running through a mental check-list of my own and Hinata`s arsenal of Jutsu, I frantically tried to find away to circumvent the sinister obstacle. "Why did I never learn more earth Jutsu like I said I would?" I demand angrily of myself, knowing how useful a good tunnelling Jutsu would be right now, "There's got to be away. If I can't think of something Naruto will….."I didn't even want to think about how any of us or the world for that matter would cope if he died.
Despite my frantic searching I failed to see away past it. I could only look on as Sasuke began to move menacingly towards Naruto, a `Chidori` forming in hand. To my surprise and hope he stopped mid stride, curiously holding off from following through with his deadly intent.
He began saying something to Naruto, but to my frustration the roar of the flames chose that moment to rise in intensity, perhaps at the will of its master, masking Sasuke`s barely audible words. "Show m….. true…. ….holding….." are the only few wisps of words I managed to pick up through my straining ears.
Irritatingly, I couldn't make out any of Naruto`s reply either but judging by Sasuke`s intense scowl it was not the response he wanted. With great despair I watched through the flickering flames as Sasuke charged a Chidori and flew towards his helpless target.
Too my shock, relief, and then horror the result of Sasuke`s deadly assault registered in my brain. It did not connect with Naruto. I was so intent on watching the fight earlier that I hadn't noticed her slink off. There standing in front of Naruto was Sakura. A Chidori pieced through her chest, hands locked desperately onto Sasuke`s offending arm. A position she wouldn't be in the first place if not for me.
PRESENT
I try to shake away the memory, the pain of what followed something that haunts me to this very day. A pain to my shame and guilt I played a part in creating. A pain that ultimately changed Naruto and I. A pain I so desperately wanted to avenge on behalf of Sakura and everyone else he has harmed. Yet in this instant that last moment keeps flashing before my eyes, fuelling the building rage I feel over the incident despite my best attempts to douse it.
"He's right there."I brood hungrily, wanting nothing more than to pursue my future tormentor, "Perhaps I can catch him off guard while he gives his troublesome `I'm going to be Hokage` speech. All I would need is a seconds opening and it would all over…."I conclude with manic fever as my face morphs into a vicious scowl, drunk on the possibility of ending it all and preventing my nightmare future from ever being born. A chance to alleviate the guilt I felt for putting Sakura in that position.
In fact so intense is these impulsive yearnings that I register my body begin to move unconscionably, as if to sate the growing desire that had enveloped my psyche. Indeed, in this moment I feel as if I'd been submerged in ice cold water, my breath stolen from me as a chilly numbness claws at my mind and body.
Then reality hits me with two simultaneous yet conflicting stimuli hitting me at once and breaking me out of the macabre madness that enthrals me. One being the tender embrace of my hand by another and the second a stabbing pain that shocks my system. Freed from my dream like state I withdraw the pressure I have unwittingly applied to my broken leg and peer down at the hand that holds firmly on to mine.
Looking up at its owner my residual rage melts away as Temari shakes her head in sad understanding, silently communicating that this was not the way. In an instant my wits are fully restored, enshrining how foolish my loss of composure truly is.
"I can't believe I let myself fall so low at the mere sight of him."I admonish with a degree of disappointment that I haven't imposed upon myself since I tried to kill Kousuke Tsuda after Temari was taken from me, "I'm in no condition to fight and even I was there's too much at stake to risk forcing an encounter under un-favourable terms. My younger self wouldn't want that let alone the Sakura I knew. Certainly not to appease my own selfish sense of guilt." I shake my head with evident frustration. "Damn this troublesome mergence."
Putting my annoyance to the side I squeeze Temari`s hand in thanks, grateful beyond measure for her part in restoring me to my senses. Hoping to chase away the look of concern that still clings to her face, I lean over to place a quick appreciative kiss to her cheek as I lovingly whisper, "You don't have to worry anymore, I understand. Thank you Temari."
By way of response she stares intently into my eyes with reddening cheeks, as if looking for any trace of the ugly visage I sported earlier. Apparently seeing none she lets out a relived sigh and moves to properly support my limping form, ignoring my pleased smile over her now rosy complexion. Looping my arm over her shoulder she remarks after clearing her throat, relief evident despite her embarrassment over my action, "I'm just glad you're back to your usual self….."Trailing off for a moment her words become thick with equal parts concern and fear, "You had me scared there you know….Y-You didn't even look like yourself."
Her confession sends a pang of intense sorrow through me, causing me to unthinkingly clasp her hand tightly once more as I respond remorsefully, "I know and I can't express how sorry I am for being so troublesome. It's just that seeing him again with fresh eyes…."I stop; knowing that with our future in the balance like it is my lack of control was inexcusable. What's more I had managed to burden Temari again, something that was becoming more difficult to bare with each repetition. However before I can sink further into my admonishments I'm saved from the depths as I register Temari`s supportive voice.
"It's ok Shika really." She begins reassuringly before her words become tinged with sorrowful regret, "Gaara…well he hurt a lot of people before Naruto showed him a different path."Pausing briefly as she grimaces, her voice becomes increasingly haunted as she continues, "I saw the lengths his victims went through on their quest for the revenge they so desperately sought…..No matter futile the attempt was…"
Temari`s voice trails off sadly before she seemingly regains her composure and affirms without a hint of doubt, "I've seen what grief can do to people and given your situation I understand why you acted the way you did just now." Squeezing my hand encouragingly she concludes with mirth, "So don't worry, if you lose yourself again I'll be right here to knock some sense into that lazy head of yours."
Meeting her appraising gaze, losing myself for moment in their affectionate depths, I respond gratefully, a small chuckle leaving my lips, "Thanks Temari, I really needed to hear that." Despite knowing how difficult my promise would likely be to keep I add, suppressing my true fears over the matter, "I'll try to keep my cool from now on; facing your wrath is far too troublesome anyway."
Face lighting up in playful delight she responds mockingly, "And don't you forget it." Basking in the momentary levity, I put to rest my guilt and anger over my foolhardy loss of composure. However, with growing consern, I realise that in my delirium I had failed to notice the departure of the other troublesome blonde in my life.