Chapter Eleven – Get Busy Living, Get Busy Dying.
There wasn't much to do in a hospital room.
There was a television, but Helyse had only turned it on to have some sound to which grab herself and not sink in the silence that wrapped itself around her as she waited for the time for her MRI, about which the girl had been informed a bit after the small question session with Dr. Lowrence… "Just to make sure there wasn't any after effect", she had been told.
For now, Helyse stared at the images in TV without actually seeing them, her concentration's level, some might say, was still low… But this was more in relation to external impulses because right now, her mind was completely turned inside herself… As if floating through her brain, picking happenings of the past as a bird picks seeds and analyzing possibilities of the future.
One of the revised points, in an attempt of comprehension, had been why she hadn't had any dreams until now. Even considered if those moments of "unconsciousness" weren't spending in true sleep and her brain hadn't reached the necessary level so she could dream…
It could be that, it could be another reason, it could not have any reason… And Helyse was well aware of this.
"And, the truth is, it doesn't make any difference, right? You are just thinking about things that hold no true meaning if comparing to what you must really face. If you are not dreaming now, enjoy it. You'll end up going back to sleep normally and you know very well what will be waiting for you when that happens. You just don't want to face the situation. Kinda ironic when you consider that you spent more than a month in that stupid boiler room…".
Yes… Ironic and even pathetic. But having to stay there during coma and now be away from there, knowing she would be back no mattering what she did… Somehow, made things different…
"That's not true, is it?".
Helyse didn't know, just like she didn't know what to do or even think regarding the future. She knew she had to, at least, try to survive, try to defend herself, but the question was how… If such thing was possible, when standing against a supernatural murderer like Krueger… And did it make any difference? He had killed so many people already, why would she be able to get away? Only the idea seemed grey and hopeless, a dry ground, marked by cracks…
But something had changed… Something had happened… Helyse just couldn't be sure of what…
Reflecting about it, the girl thought that this was how life was, maybe… So many people wondered about the "Meaning of Life", however in the end, it was just that… She had watched a movie a long time ago, "The Shawshank Redemption", in which one of the characters had said "get busy living or get busy dying"… That was what it was… Life? Two points of a line, birth and death and what happened between held no meaning, no sense, nothing…
It was also possible to dead while still living… Dead inside… She knew that as well, so the matter of survival here maybe was only if she…
The girl groaned as she closed her eyes. This was not helping…
"Helyse Blake?" A call awakened her from her thoughts. There was a doctor coming in her room, a woman whose brown hair was done in an elegant bun.
"Hello" She showed a smile, her face soft and delicate "I'm Dr. Annie Wilkes, I thought we could do some more tests before your resonance, what do you think?".
Helyse accepted the distraction with good will.
"Nervous?".
Nervous? With what? The exams? Well… If she hadn't spent all this time in that dream, with a being like Krueger, the exams might have left her… She would have been… Not nervous… Shaken, perhaps… But…
"No" She answered before even reflecting if this was the appropriate answer in the moment as she noticed the hazel eyes of the doctor watching her with heavy attention.
"Very good, then. There is no need to be tense. Right… So, do you feel any nausea or can smell anything strange?" The woman put her hand on Helyse's forehead while picking something in her picked and put in front of her blue eyes, something that looked like a black pen…
"No…".
"Do you see any colors or hear sounds?".
"Also no…".
"Do you have any memory of what happened to you?" Dr. Wilkes seemed to be examining her eyes before pushing a button on the pen before her, turning a small white light on and kept examining her eyes.
"No, nothing…" She hesitated. "Dr. Lowrence asked me that before…".
The girl tried to ignore the images of that pen going into her eyes, how the blood would rain down her face and…
"Stop".
"Oh, we just want to make sure that everything is just right." Helyse wondered lightly if they would tell her about the wounds or not… "Now, follow this light with your eyes, please… That's right… Hm…".
After moving the small flashlight to left, right and again left and up and down, the woman sent it back in her white coat's pocket and then lied down some small cards with pictures and asked the girl to put them in a line so to make a story. Again, Helyse obeyed. She couldn't close her hands great strength yet, but enough to hold them and move them around.
"Good…" Dr. Wilkes said while collecting the cards in another pocket. "Well, we better be going. Let me help you…".
Helyse needed to hold the woman's shoulder as she helped her sit in the wheelchair that had been brought in. Although she had already been informed that her strange slowness, caused by lack of use of the members, was not uncommon, Helyse didn't like that at all… It was a sensation that seemed to possess her body from inside out, an internal burden combined with a seeming endless weakness…
Sometimes, it made her feel like a doll…
"Do you feel any pain?".
"No… Just…" Helyse lifted her wrist. "I feel… Heavy, I think…".
It was the best word she could use to describe it.
"Hhm… Do this…" The woman held her hand. "Hold my hand, yes? As strong as you can… Try flexing your fingers more… When you were brought in we examined your spine, but it was okay. Don't you worry, soon you'll recover control of movements and the physiotherapy wing of Saint Clara is great!" She commented while starting to push Helyse through the white and cream painted hallways. Doctors and nurses passed by them, some talking to each other, others talking to people that must be visiting patients.
Dr. Wilkes' words made Helyse think not on the time she had spent in coma, but in that which had threw her in such situation… Her body being thrown in the floor, glass shards of broken windows… She hadn't thought about it until now, but now she thought it had been her luck she hadn't broken her spine…
"Miss Blake?".
Helyse realized the woman had said something and she hadn't heard it at all.
"I'm sorry… I didn't catch that?".
"Would you like to call someone?" The doctor repeated, not seeming bothered. "Some… Some friend or relative?".
Helyse didn't answer right away. Those words echoed inside her. Call someone? She managed to turn her head a little, however Dr. Wilkes' face didn't betray any emotion…
"Mr. Adam Rook". It wasn't any sentimental question that made her mutter such name, she just knew she would have to speak to Mr. Rook anyway and would rather do it sooner than later…
"We have talked to the manager of the snack bar… Anyone else? A classmate?".
Once again, such words only worked to throw the girl into silence. Who else she could call? There was no need to think, there was no one… Helyse was unaware of the reason, but this bothered her a little… Which was nonsense, hadn't she thought about this several times during her nightmare? Didn't she know she wouldn't have anyone sitting at her bed's side telling her to wake up, that they missed her or even reading a book out loud? She knew this, so why? The girl had never believed she would wake and suddenly see someone there, relieved or just glad that she had awakened… Not that it made her sad… It was just a seed, that should be too small to matter and perhaps it wouldn't, if so many things hadn't happened during those months she had been as good as dead to the world…
But why something that was already known should bother? It made no sense…
Even so, she was, very slightly, upset with the certification that the only one she would call after a month and some days of coma was the manager of her workplace… And just to find out if she still had a job there.
For a second Helyse wanted to ask Dr. Wilkes if someone, anyone, had come to see her… It was a moment that came and went, suffocated by reality. That was a dumb, dumb question. If she had no one to call, didn't it follow that she had no one to come and visit?
The idea that such question had even found birth in her mind made her almost ashamed. Of what, Helyse wasn't sure, but didn't want to think about it…
"No. No one else…" At this moment, both of them arrived in the MRI's room and Helyse felt better, since the conversation was being anything but pleasant.
It was a large room, grayish white floor and walls of the lightest tone of cream. A wall with a glass window separated it in two areas, one side with the great white machine and the other a desk with computers and papers. Helyse noticed a masculine silhouette there…
Well, obviously another doctor. But he didn't seem to be Dr. Lowrence…
"Now, it's quite simple…" The chair was pushed until the side of the machine's bed and Dr. Annie Wilkes bend to her, putting one of Helyse's arms around her neck as she helped the girl to stand. "You just need to lie there…".
Helyse did as she was told, managing to lay her legs down despite still being a bit clumsy. However, her eyes wandered with no control in the other room's direction… The man was still with his back to her, looking as if he was moving something in another desk… Only the white coat was visible…
"Now, please, we need you to stay perfectly still" The woman smiled, but Helyse wasn't sure she liked that… Her body was uncomfortable with the idea of just lying there and being pushed inside the machine and with that sensation, memories of the restraints she had been wearing came to her mind…
"C'mon, it's a mere association, she is just telling you what you need to do, don't be a moron…" But if it was nonsense, why her skin crawled over her muscles and she felt so insecure with the idea of staying still inside that tube that made her remember of a throat?
"That's it. It won't take long, okay?" The woman turned her back to her and the bed slid, white filling Helyse's view as she tried to ignore the idea that, should she touch that surface, it wouldn't be sleek and hard, but damp and soft…
"Stop. With. This! Shit!".
That male doctor WAS NOT Krueger. This was NOT a nightmare. She was the one who was starting to behave as the most perfect paranoid.
"That's what happens for thinking about him all the time, keep it up and I'll end up afraid of my own fucking shadow…" She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. She couldn't remain like this, if she was going to see Krueger in every corner, she could very well ask for a padded room Westin Hills Asylum, Springwood's mental hospital.
Of course she was tense, but this was no reason for such behavior… Krueger couldn't do anything to her in the moment, she was well awake…
Wasn't she?
She was. Helyse was sure she was.
To distract herself, the girl tried to think about the question of what she would do now… Krueger, certainly, would keep killing people, of course… But… Hadn't he let her live just to have a more constant source of power? No, this made no difference, even if he got stronger, he wouldn't be able to trespass the barrier between the dimension of dreams (or wherever that place was) and what people called "reality"…
She was safe. As long as she didn't fall asleep, she would be safe… So, she could very well stop with…
One, two, Freddy is coming for you
Her eyes snapped open and ran around. Her breath fastened as that of a horse hearing the sound of a rattlesnake.
"I didn't hear that. I didn't hear anything. It's just my imagination…".
Oh, but hadn't it been something like that she had thought the first time she had heard that song? True that she had been losing conscious and blood, but hadn't she thought that she was imagining such voices?
Three, Four, better lock your door
Helyse fought the urge to sit.
"I didn't hear anything" She muttered lowly, turning her eyes down, trying to see the room where the doctors where, with no success. Her organs shivered inside her body.
"Miss Blake, is everything alright?" It was the Dr. Wilkes.
"Y-Yes…" It was a lie.
"Please, we need you to remain still" Another voice, unknown, of a man. Helyse didn't answer, busy with trying to keep the calm that seemed to slip away.
A sardonic little laugh sounded. And Helyse suddenly knew…
She wasn't alone.
Five, six, grab a crucifix
No, it couldn't be… She was awake. She was awake!
Again, she shut her eyes as if, in doing so, she could block her own fear.
Hadn't she even thought this could just be a little "play" of Krueger? Making her believe she was awake, then to reveal it all and introduce her to a new session of torture?
But… She was so sure…
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late
Where was she after all? In which plan of existence? Awake or sleeping? Awake or sleeping? Awake or sleeping?
The words were a scream in her mouth, but she bit her lip…
She wanted to move, to hit herself, try to find the truth…
Nine, ten
Helyse shivered when she felt as if someone was muttering at her ear… And something sharp cold seemed to have touched her arm… She had felt that before, had felt that blade…
Never. Sleep. Again!
She screamed.
She screamed while waving her arm as she would do to get rid of a tarantula. If weren't for the coffin-like machine, the girl would have fought to stand, move, get away from that place and…
"Miss Blake, what is the matter?" Someone was at her side while she was taken out of the MRI, her body shaking.
"Are you claustrophobic?" Now it was a man behind Dr. Wilkes who was asking her. A bald man, with a grey soft beard…
"N-No…" Helyse tried to stop the shivers, to get control as she looked around. No signs of Krueger or of anything different or suspicious. Everything remained the same.
"I imagined it?" Or maybe she has been almost falling asleep or something of the sort? In a way or another, everything seemed fine…
The doctors still watched her closely, almost as if expecting her to start floating or…
"Or that some wound appeared out of blue?".
"I'm sorry, I guess I got a little nervous… I'm sorry".
"Are you sure you feel fine?" The man's falcon-like eyes didn't leave her face. It was the look of an adult that is fully aware that his child did something stupid and is listening to a bland lie. Dr. Wilkes' eyes also rested on her, however, in a less suffocating way.
"I'm sure…" Helyse repeated that she was sorry, lying down again and ignoring those eyes. "Please, can we… Go on?".
All she wanted, right now, was to finish that exam and go back to her room.
XxX
Once back in her room, Helyse didn't turn the tv on as she had done until now. With her eyes closed, she reflected on what had just happened…
She had let her fear control her, but it didn't change the fact that, now she was calm, she was sure she had heard Krueger's song. Regarding the blade's touch and the laugh, Helyse admitted that she wasn't as sure it hadn't been her mind…
Maybe, in the end, she was insane…
"But how could I hear anything of the sort if I'm not even in coma or asleep?" Nothing else made sense. While coming back to her room, Helyse had felt sick, almost as if everything inside her was boiling, organs, bones, blood, everything…
She hadn't mentioned this to the doctors, she had felt it before during the coma, often after a torture.
"Thinking about it won't help at all" Truth was, there was nothing like a "great plan". The only thing that there was "try to survive" and the question was "how". Krueger couldn't be killed… And how could you destroy something that only lived in dreams?
If he was just going to kill her, maybe she wouldn't care much. Helyse just didn't want to be hurt.
Sighing, she ran her hands on her face, sinking her fingers on her hair.
"What should I do?" She muttered to herself.
"My suggestion? Buy coffee.".
Helyse eyes snapped open.
At the door, there was a boy from her school. Helyse didn't know his name, but she had seen him in the hallways and was almost sure he was one of Kurt Locker's friends… Not that this made her more inclined to talk to him…
"Who are you?" Her voice was more harshness than she intended. Apparently, the boy didn't mind or got offended, only smiled at her… The typical weak smile of someone who has to talk with a person he has never spoken before and feels uncomfortable in doing so.
"I'm Jonathan Mears… We study at the same school…" Helyse only kept watching him. Yes, she had a vague memory of him… She remembered of a day, of that face laughing and mocking… However, she doubted this would be the cause of his clear discomfort. No, the cause was probably the subject he had to talk about.
The coldness in her eyes, plus the absolute lack of expression seemed to be making the Mears boy even more insecure as he came closer of her bed and sat in a chair.
"You're Blake, right?" He started. "Kurt told us about you… How he saw you in a nightmare…" He inclined a bit towards her. His eyes were of a surprising clear green, almost like the water of a creek reflecting the color of leaves.
Helyse only nodded. What this guy wanted with her? Surely he wasn't here just to tell her he also knew about Krueger and wish her a good recovery.
"I… I mean, we… Me, and Kurt and some friends… We've been thinking, maybe you'd like to join us, you know? We're trying to fight against him…" He looked at her as if searching for a reaction, but Helyse just blinked. Fight against Krueger? They were trying to fight against Krueger? Truth, she hadn't run to watch what was happening every time she heard a scream, but she had never noticed any sign that Krueger was fighting with anyone.
"Sorry to say, it doesn't seem to be working." Before she could stop herself, the words slipped. "I saw him killing two people…".
Strangely, Jonathan Mear's smile seemed to become firmer.
"And saved Kurt's little sister, Amanda, didn't you? She told us" His expressions became serious as he looked down for a moment, before turning his eyes back to her. "And… I don't want to intrude… But… Did Krueger hurt you because of that?".
Again, Helyse could only nod as she remained in silence. What that guy expected? That Krueger acted all "Oh, It's Okay, I Forgive You Because I'm So Gentle and My Heart Is Full Of Mercy"? What a stupid question.
And there was also that invitation. Join him and his friends? What for? Yes, again, it was true that "union makes strength", however, in this case, Helyse doubted it would make even the minor difference. It was like hoping that a bunch of sheep would be able to kill a tiger only because they were in greater number.
Could be that they were thinking that she had tried to act as a heroine during that time? That she had tried to help others, not minding the consequences? As a noble woman of some movie?
Only the idea was so pathetic…
"Look, we know how this sounds like suicide, but we are fighting. We're trying to defend ourselves… And it's not impossible, others have done that, so why couldn't we?" He seemed to be on a roll, just talking. "We want you to help us as well, since you know about him". The boy held her hands, squeezing them slightly. This sent electrical waves in Helyse's nerves, but not in a good way: She didn't like that at all. She and Mears were not friends, had never even talked before, so the girl would rather not having him touching her in any way.
That was still something just ridiculous… Not only the idea of facing Krueger, even with Mears saying that others had done that in the past, but how they wanted her support as well. Well, if they wanted to fight, they could go ahead with full steam, she couldn't care less… But from there to ask her to join their "group"?
"But if you know Krueger will try and kill you anyway… How would you rather die? Cowering with fear like a rabbit or trying to defend yourself? Have you not acted like that this whole month?".
Mears still watched her, waiting for the girl to say something, his brown hair, spiked ends that fell on his shoulders, framing his strong traced face. They were not friends… However, if other people had got rid of Krueger… The chances of managing the same would be bigger if they were in a group, right?
"I doubt that…".
"How are you fighting?".
Mears still hadn't let go of her hands. Someone might say he was being polite and gentle, but Helyse faced this behavior as hypocrisy and nothing more. He wasn't being "polite and gentle", he was behaving as if he cared about her when it wasn't how he truly felt.
"We found out that, actually, we can… Manipulate a bit our dreams. We can get some powers in them. You can, too.".
Maybe it was his choice of words, but this sounded like the plot of a children's story.
"Please, Blake… Helyse… Can we count on you?".
Helyse hesitated.
"Yes… Okay… I'm in".
"I'm going to regret this…".
Ana: And, one more chapter.
Helyse: One more waste of time, if you ask me...
Ana: Aren't you a dear?
Helyse: With all the things you're making me go through, I don't think anyone would say I'm... Let's say, "over reacting".
Ana: Eh... Well...
Krueger: She got you.
Ana: Well, even so I don't care. I mean, really, what did you expect?
Krueger: Not candies and flowers, I hope.
Helyse (dryly): The day I expect those in this story, you can send me to the mental hospital...
Ana: No arguments there...
Darth's Daughter: Thank you so much for sending reviews! As I said, I don't want to talk about what will happen, but I like to know what you hope that will happen!
Helyse: I'm betting I'll end up dead.
Ana: As always, she is such a sunshine's ray, isn't she? Why did I create her again?
Krueger: But for once, I agree with Blake.
Ana: Of course you do... -Mutters- Damn burned scarecrow from Hell, why do I even...
Krueger: What did you say there?
Ana: Nothing, nothing...