I was up, walking away from the warm bed and to the bathroom down the hall. Tim was still sleeping, passed out cold while tangled in the dirty white sheets. It's funny how innocent someone as dangerous as Tim Shepard can look in their sleep. I remembered watching Dally sleep; I remembered thinking he was innocent too. Funny how sleep can mask what a person really is.
In the bathroom I stared into the grime covered mirror, examining my reflection. It's also funny how time ages you. I remembered three years ago when my face used to be round and child-like, filled with innocence that didn't exist even in the shadow that fell under my eyes. But there was no roundness; no innocence. The sharp planes slashing across my face proved that I had grown up. They also proved that I was a Winston. I didn't know if I should frown or smile at my high, elfish cheekbones that reminded me of my brother. Instead of making up my mind I turned away from the mirror, and switched on the water facet in the bath. I really needed a shower.
As the hot water sprayed across my face, I heard the door swing open and scowled. "Someone's already in the bathroom, asshole."
"I gotta piss, and you're taking forever." I rolled my eyes at Tim, even though he couldn't see me.
"Then use a bush."
"Shut up, I can't concentrate while you're going at me." I pressed my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.
"You need to concentrate to piss?"
"Damn it, woman! I said shut up!" I stayed quiet as he did his business, focusing instead on rubbing myself down with the slick old bar of soap. When I heard the toilet flush, I decided to go at it again.
"You know, after our first little sleepover I always took you as a morning person." The sink started to run as Tim washed his hands.
"Yeah, but then I had a very surprised and sexy girl in my bed. Today I woke up with no one." I snorted and moved the shower curtain back just enough to stick my head out.
"I didn't know you were lonely Shepard." Tim flicked his head in my direction, a slightly irritated look on his face. I took in the sight of him; no shirt; jeans still unbuttoned from his relief; hair all rumpled from sleep.
"Don't waste all the water, or I'll just have to join you while it's still hot." I threw the curtain back into its place.
"Ha! That would be the day."
"What are you saying?" I smirked at the growl that came on the other side of the curtain, thinking of how pissed off Tim was looking right now.
"I'm saying that you don't have the balls to come in here." I smiled in satisfaction at the silence, closing my eyes and lifting my head to the warm blast. It was wonderful, basking in triumph and warmth and… "Fuck!" And the intruding eyes of Tim Shepard as he yanked back the shower curtain, stepping inside while I was still pressed against the cool tile, frozen in a mix of shock and terror.
"Fuck indeed." Tim's dark blue eyes ran up and down my body, not a hint of modestly camping out in the corners of his dark irises. I suddenly snapped out of my frozen state, jumping off the wall and to the refuge of the curtain in one fluid motion. Before I could yank it back though, two strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back under the spray. "Whoa, there. Relax; I'm not going to do anything."
"Yeah, you already scared me shitless, what else can you do?" He chucked against my ear as he pulled me to his chest, keeping his hands on my stomach. I was almost surprised that his hands didn't venture north or south, but stayed on the neutral ground of my belly button.
"Sorry, but you shouldn't put down bets when you can't pay the debt."
"I'm paying the debt now, aren't I?" Tim sighed and grabbed the bar of soap out of my hands, and let go of my waist.
"You don't like this?" I turned around and looked up into his dark blue irises, and became lost like I always do.
"Shit, I don't know." I grumbled and traced my hand down his chest, scowling at the scars. Tim snorted and pushed my hand away.
"If I don't get to touch, then you don't either. It's not like you're a virgin." I ignored the slap on my hand and brought it back to his chest.
"Make me, tough guy. And you're not exactly the pope either." Tim grabbed both of my arms and forced them to my sides, then drove me into the shower wall.
"Well I'm not the one who's all jumpy about taking a fucking shower! And damn it, stop touching me!" I glared up at him and wrenched away.
"Bastard." I said under my breath, stepping out of the shower while grabbing the nearest towel. "Fucking bastard. Selfish fucking bastard." I heard the water turn off, and the curtain was ripped open. Tim stepped out and towered above, me, splashing tiny droplets of water on me face.
"Are you going to keep mumbling, are you going to cuss me out to my face?"
"STUPID SELFISH MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD!!" I screamed right to his face, trembling with anger as Tim held his ground. I shoved him away, gripping angrily at the door and yanking it open while tearing down the hall way. I heard Tim follow, and started at it again. "It's always been fuck and then date for you, hasn't it? I should of known you wanted to get into my pants."
"For Christ's sake!" Tim growled behind me. "You're acting like a prude." I whirled around and stumbled into Tim, who had been following me in hot pursuit. I took a step back, not wanting to make any physical contact with him.
"Well, I'm not going to be a slut. I'm not going to me your little fuck toy until you grow tired of me and move on to the next. I'm not going to disgrace my brother's name." I turned into a room opposite of Tim's, and guessed it was Angela's.
"What the fuck are you doing now?" I frowned at the mix of clothes laid out on the floor, then went for a pair of red underwear.
"Borrowing clothes, dumbass." I flicked a glance across Angela's room, looking for a bra. I determined that the slut didn't wear one, and just grabbed a light blue blouse off her bed.
"Angel's going to kill you."
"I can kill her before she can whip out her claws, thanks for your concern."
"If you hurt her…" I threw down my towel and jerked down the shirt in irritation, and whirled around to glare at Tim.
"Yeah, I know. You'll probably get Curly and jump me. At least that's what you did the last time." I turned back to the business at hand, looking for a pair of decent bottoms. I had to live with a pair of tight black pants, and put them on before slipping into a pair of low-heeled red pumps.
"Your outfit doesn't really go with your vow not to be a slut." I glared up at Tim.
"Well, your sister's wardrobe doesn't leave a lot of options." I sneered and bumped my way past him; over to the door.
"Fine then, walk away bitch!" I whirled around to stare at Tim; I couldn't glare.
"Bye, Shepard." I ran out of the house; away from the startled look on Tim's face, away from the pain of the argument that still surged through my veins. I ran until my thighs quivered and Angela's blouse was ruined with my sweat. I keeled over the fence, fighting for breath that didn't seem to exist. When I was finally breathing, I recognized the pavement under me; the pavement that I had walked across a thousand times to escape to the refuge of friends. I looked up to the shutters of the Curtis house. What the hell, might as well get some chocolate therapy.
"Anybody home?" I closed the door and made my way through the house, searching for any signs of life.
"In the kitchen!" I froze when I recognized Ponyboy's voice. I finally decided that nothing else can fuck up my life past what it was, and continued into the kitchen.
"Surprise, bastard." I sulked in and scowled at Ponyboy's shocked expression. "Got any cake?" He gave me a little half smile and shoved plate towards me.
"One slice, we can share."
"More like I can gorge and you can starve." Ponyboy sighed and stabbed at the moist chocolate before shoving it into his mouth. I rolled my eyes and just tore a piece off.
"Dusty! Now you got your germs all over it."
"So sue me."
'What's wrong with you?" I slammed a hand on the counter and whipped around, giving Ponyboy a death stare that would of made him flinch three years ago. But the boy held his ground, and quickly mimicked my motion. "Fine! If that's the way you want to play, then let's play! What the fuck is your problem?!" I reeled back in shock, feeling like I had just been punched in the gut. I quickly recovered and shifted forward, meeting his cold grayish green eyes.
"Tim Shepard. Tim Shepard is my fucking problem. And you, and the Motorcycle Boy, hell, even Dally and he's dead!"
"Dusty…"
"You all expect me to be something I can't be. Tim wants me to be his little slut, you want me to be your future house wife, the Motorcycle Boy wants me to be a link to our side of the tracks, and Dallas wanted me to be a rotting corpse buried in the ground!"
"Dusty!" Suddenly I was crushed against Ponyboy's chest, his surprisingly strong arms holding me close. I would of struggled, but the warmth radiating from his chest felt nice, and felt really, really shitty. It was only when I turned me head and felt Ponyboy's wet shirt rub my cheek that I realized I was crying. "I can't speak for Tim, nor do I want to, but I don't want you to be my house, because you would do one hell of a shitty job. The Motorcycle Boy, can't really speak for him either. And Dally didn't want you dead, so you just shut your mouth!" I can't really say I was shocked by the passion in Ponyboy's voice; he was always like that. It disturbed me though.
"Why are you doing this?" I whispered.
"Because I love you." He stated simply. "And I want you to be with me, always." I closed my eyes and drew a quivering breath.
"I remember when I wished you would say that to me."
"And now I am." I opened my eyes slowly, finding Ponyboy's lips dangerously close to my own. I didn't pull away, though. The warmth was too nice, the passion in his loving eyes to tempting. His hot breath tickled my lips as he lowered his head, then slowly pressed his lips against mine.
Only one word; and one word only rang through my head as our lips molded together.
"No." I pushed the former greaser away, breathing hard as the image of the bastard who held my heart flashed across my brain. "Tim." Ponyboy scowled.
"He hurt you, Dusty! God knows how, but it was enough to bring you here!"
"And you hurt me!" I screamed. "When I came back two years ago it was all for you. For you, Pony! And your turned on my as if I were last night's fuck for some pretty face."
"But I want you now." He said, no longer shouting. "I want you now more than anything." I shook my head and turned away from Ponyboy.
"It's been too long. I found someone else." Strong arms turned me back around and kissed me; hard. I always believed that I could put up a fight against the smallest Curtis, but I was quickly proven wrong as Ponyboy pinned me against the ice box, pressing his lips hungrily against mine.
"Any form of life present!" I nearly sighed in relief at the sound of Two-Bit's voice, an sucked in desperately for air as Ponyboy pulled reluctantly away from me.
"Do that again, and I'll tear your balls off!" I whispered harshly to Ponyboy as he shifted away. He only smirked.
"You wanted me to." I growled at him as Two-Bit staggered in, a beer clutched firmly in his hand. I rubbed my eyes at the sight and shook my head.
"Damn it, Two-Bit. It's not even twelve yet."
"Who are you, my mother?" He took a swig of the bottle and passed it to me. "You look like you can use a drink too. Is ol' Shepard's squeaky bed keeping you up at night?" I stared in horror and the cackling drunk and shoved him against the wall.
"Who the fuck told you?" Two-Bit rolled his eyes and took another sip.
"Girl, how the hell am I suppose to remember? When you're screwing a former gang leader everybody knows about it."
"I didn't screw him!" I screeched.
"Screw who?" I turned around and glared at the new voice. "Glory, Dusty! I didn't do nothing to piss you off." I tried to gain control over myself as I stared into the playful eyes of Sodapop; pushing aside all the anger that was ranging through me.
"Tim Shepard." Ponyboy spat bitterly. I worked hard not to get worked up by the comment. "She's screwing Tim Shepard."
"I. Am. Not. Fucking. Tim. Shepard." I said calmly, making sure each word was heard. Two-Bit held up his hands in surrender as Soda turned to give Ponyboy a stare that would be worse than a glare. Pony only scowled at the chocolate cake, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.
"I feel like I'm at a funeral." Two-Bit exclaimed. "Hey, there's a party at Buck's tonight. Third one in four days. I think the bastard broke his record." I released my breath and leaned up against the counter. "Who will keep an old drunk company?" I raised my hand to volunteer and crashed it down onto Two-Bit's shoulder.
"The crazy bitch will."
"You don't count, since you were going to be there anyway. It's also Fred Corrgan's twentieth birthday. He's been in the Shepard gang since day one, so Tim's going to be there, and he will want his broad to show off."
"Fuck you too." I muttered.
"I'll go, and Steve will come even if I have to drag him." Soda offered at gave me an apologetic look.
"I'm coming, too." We all turned and raised our eyebrows at Ponyboy's sudden outburst.
"Don't think so, Kid." Soda said softly.
'Dusty gets to go." I glared at the whining boy for bringing me into his little rebellion.
"Dusty isn't my kid brother who has school in the morning."
"Oh, come off it Soda. The guy needs to get laid."
So he can stop coming onto me.
Soda gave me the same stare he gave Ponyboy before; but threw up his hands in surrender. "What the hell, I can't stop him." I stared at Ponyboy, who instantly caught my gaze and held it tight. They hadn't changed since the kiss; still loving; still passionate. Enough to draw me over to his side like a magnet.
It only made me want Tim more.