She had expected it to be hard, she had suspected that Charlie was wrong when he said it wouldn't be too bad, he was, as usual, trying too hard to make her feel better, but she was not prepared for how hard it actually was, and being taped made her uncomfortable as she slowly realised how much a waste of time and effort it all felt now that she had finished telling them the whole story. Sergeant Morris was with Inspector Richards and was a motherly sort of woman, her hair was a bit scruffy, she wasn't wearing any lipstick but she had a nice smile and Molly was glad she was there. It was easier to tell her some of the more embarrassing stuff, and she was very patient, didn't make her feel stupid because her memory had started to close over some of the details. She knew it was probably the result of the counselling, it had started the healing, but it meant that she had to dig really deep to try and remember things she had worked incredibly hard to forget, and it hurt, it hurt like hell. What she most wanted to do was pick up her coat and run, and never have to think about any of it ever again, but she couldn't, he was still talking to her and she realised that she hadn't really heard a thing he'd said after his bombshell. Apparently, just because they could prove that Webster had a track record it wouldn't be treated as evidence that he had done it this time. So she had just put herself through another nightmare for nothing. Richards was trying to explain something about Webster being prosecuted for something, that there was no time limit on sexual assault, but Molly hadn't followed what he'd been saying, well, she hadn't actually been listening, so she looked at him blankly when he asked her if she understood. He turned very kind and asked her if she wanted a cup of tea or something, he could obviously see that tears were not far off, but she declined, she knew she couldn't have swallowed it, the lump in her throat was far too big.
Sergeant Morris patiently explained what the options were again and pointed out that if Molly made a formal complaint against Webster, accusing him of rape, or serious sexual assault as they called it, the fact that the two cases were virtually identical would enable them to re-arrest and charge him on suspicion of serial rape and the fact that he had never denied having sex with his 'victims', it was just the question of consent, meant that the lack of DNA was irrelevant and that it would be up to the Crown Prosecution Service to decide if they had enough to proceed against him. But, and Sergeant Morris emphasised that it was a huge but, she had to be very sure, because if he was charged and it got to court it wouldn't be easy for Molly, the defence would try very hard to destroy her credibility, citing the army's reaction, her PTSD when she was repatriated to the U.K., the fact that she had been seeing a psychiatrist, that she was medically discharged, the list was almost endless, so she should really take some time to think about what she wanted to do. Molly just stared at her in horror, the woman had made her sound like some sort of nut job, and speaking of jobs, how the hell would her job for Sleaze Ball go down with a jury, let alone if they found out how she met Charlie? Logically, she knew that wouldn't happen, she wasn't telling anyone and he certainly wouldn't, but panic was setting in and she hadn't even mentioned her previous job to the police.
They prepared and got her to sign her statement so that it was all ready if she decided to do it, it would avoid her having to come back and go through it all again, well not until it got to court anyway, and she gave her consent for them to get her record from the MOD because it should include the reports from the M.O. and the female Redcap, but Molly was now in a complete daze, she was on auto-pilot as she felt as if she was back in a living nightmare. The police officers suggested that she should sleep on it while they put all the stuff to the CPS, and while they started to look into the possibility of further 'victims', they didn't say how they were going to do that and she didn't ask, but there was no point in her making any sort of decision until the CPS had ruled one way or another, so she nodded, she just wanted to get out of there and find Charles and go home.
"Well, thank you Molly, you've been really helpful, but we'd better get you back to your minder now" Inspector Richards was impressed by her outwardly calm appearance, having no idea what was going on in her head as her army training kicked in, so he smiled at her, "Much longer and he'll start breaking down the doors looking for you"
"He's not me minder, it's just that he feels responsible cos he was there" Molly did her best to smile back at him.
"He was there?" Inspector Richards stopped dead and stared at her incredulously, his voice rising in disbelief "What, actually there? how come?"
"Oh no, no, no, he weren't there as such, I mean, I didn't know him at the time but he was there in Cyprus, he was Webster's CO and he was at the same bloody barbecue and he got suckered into speaking up for him. It was only when he met me a while back and found out what a crock of sh… I mean a load of rubbish he'd been told that he got bleeding mad about it all"
They went through the door into the reception area where Charles was waiting impatiently, he was pacing backwards and forwards and checking his watch constantly against the clock on the wall behind the desk. He stepped forward to wrap his arms around her as soon as she appeared in front of him, totally aghast at the expression on her face as he shot a look of anger towards the policeman and tried to think what the hell could have happened.
"Are you okay?" he whispered, hugging her as tightly as he could , knowing that she was far from alright, she had that look of tension on her face that he thought had gone forever.
"Never better" she tried to smile at him, while he glared at the policeman over her head, and raised his eyebrows as though he was asking a question. There were times when he badly missed the status he had enjoyed in the army, and this was one of them, the status that meant he would have been entitled to demand complete answers from the little man in front of him.
"Mr James" the Inspector put his hand out for Charles to shake, which Charles' ingrained good manners demanded that he comply with, whilst correcting the Inspector "Captain James" he emphasised the rank he was still entitled to, but rarely. If ever, used, knowing he was being faintly pathetic but he had taken an instant and irrational dislike to the policeman mainly because he blamed him for the way Molly looked. The Inspector looked at Charles steadily, not a bit intimidated by the younger man's obvious ill-will, "Miss Dawes, um, Molly I mean, will explain what's happening and what will happen next" he smiled at Molly "Now, don't keep worrying about it, just go and have a really good New Years Eve, not too good, of course, and we'll be in touch as soon as we've got any news for you" He patted her arm and left, leaving Charles to pick up the pieces.
She didn't say a word on the way to the car, apart from saying that she wanted to wait until she got home to talk and so they travelled home in almost compete silence. Charles was an absolute living question mark, he felt a real need to know, he was dying to find out exactly what had happened and wanted to ask for every tiny detail of everything that had been said, but he knew that interrogating her was probably the worst thing he could do right now, he had to let her tell him in her own time and in her own way, but that didn't mean he had to like it. She was very pale and had a set expression on her face as she chewed the inside of her bottom lip, which was quivering slightly, and looked out of her side window, avoiding his anxious glances. She was a million miles away from the girl who had been with him the last time he had travelled home down the M4, the happy intimacy of Christmas, just a few short days ago, had vanished and he was devastated that this was all of his making, he was listening to a tape running in his head that kept asking him how the hell he had managed to spoil things so comprehensively.
She went straight into the bedroom when they got back and sat on the bed staring into space, not crying, which he half expected, but just staring while he hovered in the doorway, unsure what to do next.
"Can you make a cuppa, please?
"Yeah, course I can"
They sat, side by side on the bed, leaning against the piled up pillows and sipping hot tea as Molly began to talk, but only after she had got him to promise that he wouldn't interrupt, that he would let her finish before he asked any questions. She sounded calm, almost rational and unemotional as she recounted what had happened, what they had told her and what was going to happen next and why, as Charles listened and was filled with more and more anger so that he felt an overwhelming desire to kick something or someone. All his years at Sandhurst and as an army officer where he had developed a rigid code of ethics and an iron self-control meant nothing as he longed to exact a very painful revenge, and had he been given the opportunity he would have done it without hesitation. When she ran out of words, he put his arms round her and pulled her close, he was incredibly relieved to note that she didn't put up any resistance, so obviously his worst nightmare of a complete return to the "no touching" routine hadn't happened. He breathed a sigh of relief;
"I'm so sorry, Mols, I should have kept my nose out of it, you don't have to do anything else, you've done enough, just let it go"
"I can't do that"
"What?"
"Your mum was right, Charlie, I can't let him win, I am gonna have to go through with it, I mean, I don't wanna, but he can't keep getting away with it, it's not on. The bit I'm most worried about is what happens when they find out about my job with Saul" she giggled "What the hell are they gonna make of that?"
Molly was invited to the grand opening of Saul's nightclub on New Year's Eve, although Charles wasn't included on the invitation he was going because Molly had rung Saul and threatened to boycott if Charles wasn't allowed as her 'plus one' and as she knew where a number of Saul's bodies were buried so he wanted to keep her on side, also, despite everything, he was fond of her and hoped to persuade her to do the occasional shift for him, she had been very popular with the punters. Molly was wearing the highest pair of killer heels she could walk in so that she could slow dance with Charles without feeling that she looked like a little girl dancing with her dad. They were making a determined effort to stop brooding about police and courts and 'what if's' and 'maybe's' for a few hours, they had agreed not to talk about any of it and to have a couple of drinks, relax and enjoy themselves, and Molly was getting very 'relaxed' and happy so Charles decided to stay completely sober in case he had to look after her. She reminded him so much of the way she was when he first went out with her, even down to calling him Muppet, as she put her arms round his neck and they slow danced on the spot, although he wasn't sure how much was dancing and how much was him keeping her upright, but he didn't care. She was smiling and laughing and that was all that mattered.
Her mate Michelle came wandering over, she was also visibly 'relaxed' and started saying that they should 'get a room' and that ' they made her sick and it wasn't fair' then added something about Quasimodo's ugly brother which was lost on Charles, but Molly found extremely funny as she told Michelle that they had a room, thanks very much, in fact they had several and that they had used them all. Charles didn't know whether to laugh or be embarrassed, and it wasn't even true, the kitchen, bathroom and spare room remained unsullied, so he laughed feeling the blush rise up his neck.
"Saul asked me to ask you to come back and do some shifts, the little tosspot misses you" Michelle did her best to look serious "Go on, Mols, I miss you, this place is crap without you"
"I never worked here, he hadn't found enough idiots to pay for it when I was here"
"Well, You know what I mean, oh, go on, please"
'"Na, can't do that, he's the possessive type" she patted Charles' cheek "And he won't let me, sorry and that, tell Saul for me, will you"
She dragged Charles away to sit down and then sat on his lap. "Since when did I get a say in what you do?" he was laughing as he stroked her hair back from her face, "When it suits me" Molly beamed at him and took another large gulp of her drink and he wondered whether it would be before or after midnight when she fell asleep. Actually it was well after midnight when they finally got home and she had shown remarkable stamina, much more than him and he was stone cold sober, which she definitely wasn't but she was still full of energy, or so she said when she started to seduce him, then fell asleep mid-stroke of his abdominal muscles, leaving him laughing and not a little frustrated.
Authors notes: Sorry folks we are back to the angst in this one, but I needed to include it as reporting a sex crime to the police is never going to be a 'there, there, everything is going to be wonderful', wave a magic wand and it's all sorted out situation. Thanks for all your lovely reviews, I am so glad that so many of you are enjoying this, I am more grateful than I can say for all your positive comments on a sensitive subject. I have sometimes found this quite emotional to write and it's your feedback that is keeping me going.