Chapter 11: Because Of Me

February 24th, 2000

11:45 AM

L.A. Human Resistance

California

—

Bea Jones stood at the doorway of the training hall, watching her older brother, Kenneth, spar with Pryce Logan. The two would stop and talk or laugh for a couple of seconds before they would continue to fight. Her dark brown eyes watched them closely but her mind was not focused on the fight. She couldn't help but think of those 25 people that Skynet was planning on killing. Memories of her life in the war popped up causing her to shiver. She didn't want anyone to live through that and she didn't want anyone else to die because of a heartless machine.

Bea drew in a deep breath and slipped away from the door when her brother's back was turned to her. She sprinted down the hallway, up the stairs, and grabbed the list of names that John had written down earlier and ran out quickly, hoping not to be spotted. Her heart pounded fast as she ran into the room she and her brother shared, closing the door quickly behind her. She grabbed her brother's laptop and sat down on the bed that they shared, not being able to fight the urge any longer.

She studied the names for a few seconds before she turned to the computer and began her work. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she began to look up the names. She went through every name making sure she knew their place of residence, place of work, and any other important documentation for the names before she searched the internet for news of those individuals. The Salceda family was safe and she drew in a shaky breath before she typed Annalise Richards' name into the search engine.

Her stomach sank to her toes as she clicked on a news article to find that Annalise had been shot twice before the perpetrator set her house on fire. She had died late last night. Tears blurred in her eyes as she read over the first few lines but quickly clicked off, not wanting to imagine the agony she had to have felt from being shot and then burned alive. Next was Chad Tellmen; the security guard for the local bus station had been shot in the head by an unknown shooter that morning. Bea shook her head quickly and moved on, not wanting to read any more.

Pablo and Juan Hidalgo were two brothers preparing their family restaurant for lunch time when the place was caught on fire. The brothers were unable to get out alive. Tears ran down Bea's cheeks as she continued to search for all the names that lived in Los Angeles. Anya Fiedel was a child psychologist that was shot dead that morning before her office had opened. Bea desperately searched the other names and found that they didn't live in Los Angeles and thereby were safe.

But there was one more name from Los Angeles that she hadn't checked. Tim Berkley; a local high school student stabbed in the heart before school had started. Bea's heart sank as she remembered John saying that Tim was one of the people he had known form when he had used to live there. Her throat burned with sadness as she stared at the screen, shaking her head slowly. She reached over and grabbed the list, crossing out 6 of the 25 names. Bea sat there sobbing silently over those people, knowing that if they had acted that they may have been able to save them.

Bea sat there for a few more minutes before she couldn't hide it anymore. Bea shoved the pad of paper in the computer and slammed it closed, leaping off the bed. She had to tell John. She knew that he would do something about it. She opened the door, ducking past Kasey Sanders and sprinted to John's room, pounding furiously against the door. Bea quickly learned that he wasn't there and ran to the planning room but found that he wasn't there either.

Bea's heart raced as she sprinted through the base, finally learning that the two Connors in the training hall. As she burst through the doors, she couldn't hold back her sobs anymore and cried out loud.

"JOHN!"

Both Sarah and John turned to Bea with concerned expressions and John immediately ran to her side.

"What's wrong?"

Bea shook her head as she sniffled, feeling John grip her shoulders. He was looking over with wide eyes, trying to figure out what had upset her. Bea struggled to speak through her heavy breaths.

"The names… Skynet… it… it's…"

Sarah stepped forward.

"What about Skynet?"

Bea let out another small sob as she met John's eyes, pulling the list out with trembling hands. John's concerned expression immediately faded into fear as he pulled her over to a bench and sat down. Bea pushed some of her straight, dirty blonde hair out of her face and opened the computer to the news articles. She turned the computer so that Sarah and John could look over them as she spoke softly.

"Six people have… have already been… killed. One last night and… and five this morning."

Sarah knelt down next to them and grabbed the computer, looking over the articles while John held the list in his hands. John wrapped one arm around Bea, pulling her close to him, and spoke softly.

"It's okay, Bea. We'll… we'll…"

John instantly stopped speaking and Bea looked up to see tears blurring in his eyes as he stared down at the list. Bea nervously looked over at Sarah who was looking away from the computer and watching her son very closely. John's breaths grew heavier as he drew away from Bea, wrenching the computer out of his mother's hands.

"John…."

"No, mom."

Bea began to sniffle again as she watched John shatter in front of her. His body slumped forward over the computer and he stared at it with wide, tear-filled eyes, shaking his head slowly. He leaned away, shaking his head rapidly as he looked at his mother.

"No… no…"

Sarah leaned forward and took the computer from his hands and set it down on the floor. As John began to cry, Sarah wrapped her arms tight around him as he slid off the bench and his knees hit the floor. Tears ran down Bea's cheek as she watched the two Connors. Bea had never seen John cry before and her heart ached as he spoke softly.

"I… I never got to say… goodbye. And… and now he's gone. He's gone because… because of me."

Sarah pulled away from her son quickly, gripping his shoulders.

"No, John. No! This is not your fault."

"Tim's not a threat. They killed him because he knew me!"

"We don't know that, John. Maybe… maybe he went on to fight in the future and that's why they wanted him out of the way. Do not blame yourself for his, or any of these people's deaths. Do you hear me, John? It's not your fault. It is never your fault."

Sarah wrapped her arms around her son once more with tears welling in her eyes, speaking so gently that it surprised Bea.

"I will not allow you to carry that pain on your shoulders. I've already had it and… and I won't ever let you believe that a situation out of your control is your fault."

"I could have warned him. I… I could have saved him."

"No, John. I am the leader. I could have saved him but I… I chose not to. I chose not to because I didn't want you to get hurt. But I can see that I made a mistake and I am sorry, John. I am so sorry. If… if this is anyone's fault, then it's mine. And… and I will carry that with me until the day that I die just so you won't have to feel that pain."

John pulled away from his mother, shaking his head slowly, as tears ran down his cheeks.

"Let me go. Please… please let me help them. I… I have to save them. They don't know. They don't know what's coming and I… I can't stay here and… and wait until they are all killed. I… I have to go. Please… please let me go..."

Bea watched as Sarah hesitated to answer and could see the love and fear she held in her eyes at the idea of letting her son go. Sarah searched her son's pale green eyes for a few silent moments and drew in a slow, shaky breath.

"Okay… okay. You… you'll go with Derek and you'll bring them here. Just be safe. Please don't get hurt. I… I love you too much to lose you, John."

"I love you too, mom."