A/N I had this chapter stored up in my mind for a while and I rather liked how it played out.

Thank you everyone for the follows/favs/reviews they mean A LOT to me!:D

Bullworth Townie, I hope you get better! :c

Chapter 11: My Own Prison

The rain hadn't ceased to pour from the sky. Snow was expected soon, after all it was the nearing the end of November. November 23rd to be exact, the only reason I knew that because I was on my way to a very important meeting indeed. I almost wasn't aware that I was holding my breath whenever the cast iron doors were drawn back.

Bullworth Penitentiary. The epitome of the scum of the school and town that had infested one single area, where I was now about to step foot.

"Mark Smith, you have a visitor." One of the guards said on the intercom.

Two armed guards brought a tall, gaunt dark haired man with dull brown eyes and lanky hair into the room, shackles on his legs and his wrists. He wasn't inclined to run, but you never knew. Even though his face was hollow, I hated how much I knew I looked like him.

"Well if it isn't the rat bastard that got me put in here. How the hell ya doin' kid?"

"Father" I replied, mouth in a tight line.

It was nothing new, the obscenity and his toothy smile.

"What brings you to this dump for a visit?" He asked.

Every 4 months I was scheduled to see him. Every time he asked me the same question. As belligerent as he was, he got even worse whenever I didn't take these little visits. Pops had to bribe me to come. Every month I got fifty dollars in the mail for complying. It was nice to make a little pocket money off from these little visits. Pops didn't like getting the letters from the jail to complain about his behavior.

"Just wanted to see how you were."

"I'm doing awful. The food's shit, the faculty are fuck fa-"

"Easy there Mr. Smith." The guard at the door said. He looked particularly angry.

"Easy yourself Greg you big brute-"

"Father. Stop."

He turned around and looked at me, his eyes for once growing softer. I immediately knew what was to follow. Every time it was the same old thing. Nothing would ever change with my father's wondering mind, it always wondered to the same place.

"Tell me boy, have you heard from your mother?"

Every time it was the same old response.

"I haven't."

Unlike the last millions of times though, his eyes darkened.

"She's was a saint in this goddamn hell hole and YOU ran her away you piece of shit. No one wanted you. She didn't, I didn't and even now your grandfather doesn't want you. She was perfect before you came along and ruined everything like you always do. You're nothing. You won't amount to anything. I'll see you real soon son, pretty soon we'll both be in here…or maybe you'll go back that loony bin. You're going to end up being just. Like. Me."

Down. I was falling and I was falling fast. The sound of scuffling shoes on the linoleum floor and the angry grunt of my father were all that I could hear as my head hit the floor. Harder than I would have imagined, as there was a small pool of hot liquid surrounding me. I felt much too hot to even breathe.

He doomed me to a single fate that I had been avoiding. He had always told me growing up that she had left because of me, but never in so many words. Never in so many damning words that set me down a river of my own collapse.

I would be just like him…hovering in and out of sanity, worrying about a woman that no longer graced my life-

Sophia…dear God Soph. She would be my angel of my demise. The one thing that keeps my grip on the past alive and clear, the one thing that would save me from becoming a full-fledged disgusting human being that is incapable of anything other than manipulation and compelling lies.

A loud slam and I realized that they had shut the door.

"Can we get the medic in here immediately; one of the visitors passed out and hit their head pretty hard. Mhmm. Hard enough to bleed. Alright."

I could bleed out the rest of the blood on my body, and I would have been okay with that. Sitting there in a visitor area of the penitentiary, bleeding and dying just like my father was. Why not? Why couldn't I rot away like he was? It just wasn't fair. I needed to be institutionalized in some place that could handle me more than the joke that Happy Volts had been.

Soon there a man was already tending to my head. His harsh fingers kneading my scalp while I just sat there mewling through my private thoughts.

"There ya go, you're all cleaned up and ready to go buddy." He said patting my shoulder

"Mr. Smith, may we have a word with you?" one of the guards was saying.

I walked back over to the table and sat back down, looking at them inquisitively, wondering if they were already holding a cell for me. Might as fucking well.

"Your father recently switched meds and we had no idea that he would react the way that he would. Perhaps you should come back in two months and give him some time to recoup?"

That was a perfect thing indeed. I didn't want to see that man any more than I had to. I could just blame my father's persistent attitude on his new pills if Pops wondered if I had skipped seeing him.

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan. If that's everything, then I'll see you sometime in January."

"We'll call you son."

I had never been so relieved to leave somewhere in all my life. The fresh air seemed to clear my head, but only slightly. I couldn't take those fenced in walls or those tight areas. I needed to go somewhere far away. The only place that I could think of was the pier.

On my way there, I passed the theatre only to see Petey and Sophia standing in line, looking so little and happy, the both of them. It was nice in a painstakingly aching way. Why couldn't I be like that? Just be able to take her places and not have to worry about my mind running and making some kind of dive to insanity. It was bound to happen after all.

I hated myself almost worse than I hated my father and I had never thought that, that would be humanly possible. Whenever I made it to the pier, the water was surprisingly calm and the wind was brisk. Jimmy never came here anymore, and neither did Sophia I imagined. Whenever I had watched her it seemed like she had avoided it. Petey had even told me that he had asked her to go with him and she had made suggestions for somewhere else instead.

I wondered if it was because we had spent a lot of good times around here…and if my mind didn't return to her kissing me a week ago. I touched my lips softly, as if somehow I could feel that feeling all over again. Her sopping wet hair brushing against my neck, and our lips meeting after what felt like an eternity.

Sometimes you lost track of time whenever you were doing the same thing over and over again. Going through one therapy session to another, usually it was with a new therapist that the hospital had decided on. I didn't like him. His name was Dr. Todd and he acted like he knew everything, such a condescending bastard too. What he didn't realize was how easy it was to play him too. "Begrudgingly" open up about my mother and bam. That settled all my issues, so I spent the day talking about a woman that I barely knew.

It wasn't like she would really matter in my life right now anyway. My father was gone, Pops was gone basically, and everyone was gone. I didn't really need anyone though; I was good on my own.